Authors: Alexa Riley
I
t’s been almost
a week since I brought Molly back home, and it’s been wonderful. We’ve spent every second together, planning for the baby and indulging her in every way I can think of.
But there’s been a shadow around our time together. It’s the worry in the back of my mind, waiting to see if she remembers. It’s the reason I haven’t taken her fully yet. I’ve been between her legs at least three times each day, making a meal out of her sweet pussy. But every time she asks me for more, I just give her orgasm after orgasm until she passes out.
The guilt of keeping her time away from me a secret is starting to build. Molly is my best friend and my soul mate. I don’t like the idea of keeping anything from her, but I fear that if she knew she left me, she might want to do it again. And that thought outweighs any guilt I could possibly have.
My current plan of action has been to distract her with excitement over the new house. I’ve told her just enough to keep her guessing but not enough that it would ruin the surprise.
Originally, before the accident, I’d had everything in place. I was ending work that week, and I was going to whisk her away to the new place and put the last year of stress behind us. I was finally going to stop holding back my obsession for Molly and give her all of me. We deserved it, and it was all falling into place.
Until it didn’t.
The home has sat empty, waiting for us to join it, and it’s the one thing that helps me push away the last of the shadows surrounding us. If I take her to the new home, it’s a fresh start. No more memories of the penthouse and no more memories of before. I will spoil her with decades of love, and this little blip will be long forgotten by the time her memory comes back. If it ever does.
Ryan has been blowing up my phone every day since I’ve been back. I know there are one or two things I need to sign off on. I’ve just been avoiding it, not wanting to leave Molly by herself.
“I need something from you, my love.”
Molly turns around in the closet, small duffel in her hands. She’s packing up some of the things she wants to take to the new house. The movers will get most of it; she just wants a bag with a couple of changes of clothes.
“Anything,” she says brightly, walking towards me.
“Would it be okay if we stopped by my old office on the way to the new house? I need to sign some final documents, and then we’re on our way.”
She puts her arms around my waist and smiles up at me. Her warm eyes are the things dreams are made of, and seeing them makes all doubt flit away. I would have done this a thousand times to have her back in my arms. There’s nothing that would ever kept me from her. Not even my own conscience.
“As long as we stop for food after. Your son is hungry. Again,” she laughs and presses her body to mine, and I hold her to me.
“I can make you food before we go,” I say, wanting to make sure she has what she wants.
“No, I’d like to go out. We’ve been cooped up in this place for so long. It feels like a cage.”
Her words make my back stiffen, but if she notices, she doesn’t say anything. Maybe it has to do with before. She’s only been here a week, and the comment throws me off. I knew she didn’t like this place when we first moved in, but I had hoped it would be a place we could have made ours. Instead, it sounds like this may have been the opposite for her.
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Kissing the top of her head, I take her bag and carry it to the door, placing it beside my own. When she’s ready, we go to the car and make the drive over to the office. I can feel it in my bones. The sooner I get her out of this city, the better.
* * *
I
hold
Molly’s hand as we exit the elevator on the floor of my former office. I haven't been here since the night Molly left me, and now this place feels hollow and empty. Not like the place I'd spent years devoting every second of my life to. I'd built a great empire, but for what? I was lonely.
I don’t know how I devoted so many years of my life to this place, especially the last year, knowing I had my Molly waiting on me at home. I’m beyond obsessed with her, and I thought my love would push her away. I thought that my overwhelming need would smother her light, and I didn’t want to do that to her. But now, there is no other option. I can’t hold back anymore. Once this is all taken care of today, never again will I let her out of my sight.
We walk towards my old office and I look over to see Cary sitting behind the desk. It surprises me that Ryan hasn’t gotten rid of her, especially after the last time I spoke to him on the issue. As if hearing my thoughts, Cary turns from her computer to greet us with a smile on her face. When she sees Molly and me standing there, her smile drops, her face turning stark white as she stares at Molly.
Suddenly, I feel Molly’s hand squeeze my own, and then her palm feels a little cold. I look at her and see she has a vague look of panic on her face.
“Molly, you okay, my love?” I pull her to me, holding her chin so she’ll look in my direction. “Molly?”
She shakes her head a little as if clearing a cloud, then smiles at me. “Yes. Sorry. Don’t know where I went for a second.”
The door to my old office opens and Ryan comes out. We shake hands and he leads us in, closing the door behind us. Before we get to pleasantries, I ask about the situation at the desk.
“I thought we discussed the assistant,” I say, giving him a stern look. The last thing I need is a scandal chasing my coattails as I leave the company.
“I know, and I’m sorry. After you left in such a hurry, I didn’t have any back-up. There haven’t been any issues of what we talked about.” He looks over at Molly and then back to me. “I don’t foresee any turmoil, but I’ve got my eye on it in case there need to be changes made.”
I nod, understanding that it’s his decision to make.
Ryan goes to his phone and hits a button. “Cary, can you bring me the file for Mr. Tanner to sign?” He clicks off without waiting for an answer, and I’m glad to be getting this closed up.
“Okay then. Let's get this signed so we can be on our way.”
Moving to take a step forward, I feel Molly’s hand tug behind me. I look back at her and see her staring at the couch. Her eyes narrow, but she won’t look away from it. Before I can ask her what’s wrong, Cary walks in with a folder in her hands.
Molly looks up at Cary, and then to the couch, and all the color drains from her face. It looks as if she’s seen a ghost, and her knees start to buckle.
“Molly!” I shout, bending to catch her before she hits the floor.
Cradling her in my arms, I walk her over to the couch and sit down with her in my lap, looking her over to make sure she’s okay.
She starts to shake a little, and I open my mouth to tell someone to call an ambulance when her hand comes out and slaps me hard across the face.
To stay the sting is a shock would be a vast understatement.
“What the hell?” I say, looking down at her.
“You,” she says and glares at me with so much hate and anger. It’s a look I’ve never in my life seen on her sweet face. Then she turns to Cary, who is standing dumbly a few feet from us, and points to her. “With her.”
“It’s not what you think,” Cary says, taking a step towards the two of us.
“Don’t you come near me,” Molly spits at her and tries to scramble from my lap. “Let me go, Phillip. Let me go or I swear to God, I will scream this place down.”
“Scream all you want. I’m not letting you go. Now tell me what’s wrong.” I hold her tighter, showing her how true my words really are. “Be careful, Molly. Think of the baby,” I plead, not wanting to hold her too tightly.
My worry makes her stop moving instantly, the fight going out of her. She’s breathing heavily like she’s been running, and she shoots daggers at me. I can’t remember a time she’s looked at me like this. It’s breaking my heart.
“Molly. Talk to me. What is going on?”
She lets out a laugh that lacks humor. “I saw you that night. I remember everything.”
My stomach tightens at her words. Her memory coming back is not something I want yet. I need more time, but hearing her say she
saw me
…I’m confused.
“You saw me…what?” I narrow my eyes on her. If she remembers, she can tell me the very thing that’s been driving me crazy. The
why.
“Why did you leave me?”
Tears fill her eyes as she grits out the words. “I walked in this office and saw the whole thing.”
T
he barrage
of emotions is almost more than I can stand. It all came tumbling back, flooding my memory. I want to rip myself from Phillip’s arms and the firm hold he has on me, but I equally want to burrow myself into him for comfort. The feeling of loneliness hits me again, worse than ever before. The last week has been… A sob tries to escape my throat, but I swallow it down, not wanting to let that emotion out. That was the whole plan, wasn’t it? To get away? Get myself together so I didn’t come back here a mess and look like some crazy woman, but I can’t seem to control myself with them both standing in the room together. The same room that... I chase away that thought, knowing that if I don’t I won’t be able to stop the next sob.
A pained book crosses Phillip’s face. It’s like he can feel my hurt. Or maybe he just knows he’s been caught. No more faking it. Pretending we’d been together all along. That I’d never left, that he hadn't just swept this all under the rug, something my father and mother liked to do. I knew about sweeping things under the rug for most of my life, and that wasn't supposed to happen with us. It was supposed to be so different. Maybe I’m just as naïve as I thought I was. But how could he treat me so sweetly and do these things to me? It just doesn't add up. I can’t make the pieces fit.
“Why’d you do this to me?” He just stares at me as if he doesn’t know what to say. I push on. “This week. I…” I struggle for the words. “Everything felt so perfect, but it was a lie just like before.” I try to jerk again, but I get nowhere. One of his hands comes to my stomach in a protective hold.
This doesn’t make sense. Why did he do all this? He could have been with her. She’s clearly still around… Maybe they are still together.
The baby. He hasn’t let me out of his sight. Hell, he hasn’t even let me out of the condo. He’d said it was because of the reporters. Everyone knew I’d been hurt and they wanted their story, but that was all a lie. They would have asked where I’d been for the last four months, not about some weekend getaway with my loving husband. He would have been busted right there. But no, he took me home and, hell, I don’t even know what he was doing.
The Phillip I’d been with was not the Phillip I knew. Well, he was and he wasn’t. No, he just seems more intense now. He was everything he had been when we first got married, only to the extreme, and I’d been eating it up, thinking how I had the perfect husband. Except for the fact that he wouldn’t sleep with me.
Guilt about his mistress? That thought makes me want to smack him again. Has this whole week been about making sure I stayed once he found out about the baby? Get me away from everything and trap me in the house he’d been going on and on about?
Our dream home.
“You’re trying to take my baby from me, aren’t you? I won’t let you. I’ll run. You can’t keep me prisoner!” I yell right in his face, not caring how loud I am. Fuck my composure. I’m not losing my husband and my little boy.
“You’re not running anywhere, and no one would dare keep that baby from you.” Phillip’s face is starting to turn red, as if my anger is flowing through me and into him. It always feels like that when we touch. It’s like we can feel every emotion in each other.
“Then what was the point, Phillip, if you weren’t trying to keep me around so you and your mistress can have our baby? Just let me go. I won’t keep you from him, but stop putting me through this. I can’t bear it. It feels like you're ripping my heart out again.”
Only this time, it’s worse. I’m losing so much more than I had before. Before, a family was just an idea, something we wanted, but now it’s here at the tips of our fingers and it’s slipping right through them.
“I don’t have a mistress,” he says vehemently. The last word trails off and his eyes fly to Cary. I turn my head to follow his gaze.
Cary backs up a step, then another, putting her hands up and letting the files fall to the floor, the papers littering the plush carpet.
“I can explain. I swear I’ll tell the truth. Just don’t ruin me. It was a mistake.” I can see the fear in her face. Don't ruin her? Phillip does have a reputation for such things. I’ve never seen it before, but it seems he’d hidden things well.
I feel Phillip’s hand come to my face, turning me to look at him.
“Baby, I would never do that to you. I didn’t even know women existed before you.” I always loved how his tone would change whenever he spoke to me. His sweet words make a tear slip down my cheek. The pregnancy hormones are wreaking havoc on me. Phillip leans in, kissing it and stopping it in its tracks. His words remind me of all the things Cindy had said to me that night before I’d come to his office. That it was laughable to think of Phillip having an affair.
“I saw it.” My words come out in a whisper that I’m sure only he can hear. My words are filled with doubt. I never understood how he could do this to us. Maybe my own insecurities led me down this path.
“She was here that night. The night you worked late. The last night you came to the office. Until now,” I hear Cary say, but I keep my gaze fixed on Phillip. I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me. I remember being so relieved when the elevator dinged so quickly. I was afraid he was going to chase me.
“No, she wasn’t. I’d talked to Cindy. She told me Molly planned to come here after they had dinner that night, so I immediately asked the security at the front desk the following day if they’d seen her.”
He’d never seen me. Furthermore, I don’t think Cindy told him why I was coming to the office. Why, I have no idea. Maybe because she just didn't believe it was possible like she’d said, and from the look on Phillip’s face, it ripped him apart that I thought that. Maybe she knew it’d do that. I should have known that. But it seems like we’ve been keeping little parts hidden from each other.
“I talked the night guard into not telling you.” Her words come out with a wobble, and I turn to look back at Cary.
“What?” Phillip yells, rising to his feet, me still in his arms, and making Cary jump back another two feet. Phillip goes to put me on my feet, but I lock my arms around his neck. His fury is coating the room. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s always calm and cool. Tight and controlled.
Except for this last week. He’d seemed to be cracking and a new, more intense Phillip was bleeding out and rising to the surface.
“Don’t let me go,” I half whisper and feel his grip tighten back on me.
“I’d never let you go.” Phillip looks down at me, and I can see a trace of that anger slip away when his eyes come to mine. Like I can cool him. That I have this special power over him. Maybe I do.
“I came to your office. I’d wanted to talk to you about something that was bothering me. I thought you were having an affair…” I trail off because I can’t even believe my own words anymore.
“I would never.” He repeats his words from moments ago, but I cut him off.
“She was naked in your office.” I glance over at Cary, then back to Phillip. “You were on the sofa. Clothes rumpled, shoes off. I thought…” The night flashes back into my mind. I push hard to remember every detail. I’d been avoiding doing that because it was painful to even think about it, let alone try to remember every part of it.
“Get the fuck out of this building,” Phillip says curtly.
“I’m sorry. I just wanted to be with you. I thought we’d be perfect together. I swear, I didn’t know your wife would walk in on us like that. I was going to wake you. Show you how it could be. It was stupid. I see that now. Please don’t let this get out. I just…” Cary stumbles over her words. “I wanted you. I thought if I offered myself…”
“What part of
get the fuck out of my office
are you not getting? Do it yourself, or I’ll have security do it because I’m sure as fuck not touching you. Just like I’ve sure as fuck
never touched you before
.” He bellows the last part, and I swear the walls of the office rattle.
Cary jumps, running out of the office faster than I thought a person could in heels.
“If I’d known—” Ryan says, but Phillip raises his hand, cutting him off.
“Leave. I’ll deal with you later.” Ryan just nods tightly and follows Cary out the door. Phillip moves to the door and shuts it. Then I hear the lock click, the sound echoing around in the room.
He turns, leaning up against the locked office door.
I just stand there staring at him, guilt eating at me.
I go to step towards him, wanting to touch him, but he holds his hand up and I stop. Guilt tugs at my heart even more.
“I didn’t see her that night in my office. I’d passed out on the sofa and came to later. I’d actually told Ryan to fire her because I thought she’d been flirting with me, which was unacceptable. I’d murder anyone who flirted with you.” He takes a deep breath. “I need a second to get myself under control. I’m not mad at you. I’m just feeling a lot of things right now and I’m not sure what I’ll do.” He reaches up, running his hands though his midnight-black hair like he’s trying to calm himself. I can see the tension in every line of his body.
“You’d never hurt me,” I counter, knowing he’d never lay a hand on me. Hell, I’d just smacked him and he took it.
“I don’t know about that. I’d really like to spank your ass right now, then bend you over that couch and fuck the shit out of you just to show you that you’re the only woman I’ve ever fucked in this office. Ever.”
It’s like every emotion I’m feeling goes straight to my core. Phillip has never talked to me like that. But he’s been doing a lot of things differently this past week. He hasn’t slept with me since I’ve been back. It’s been over four months, a record for us. We barely went twenty-four hours without making love before I ran. Even when he worked late, he’d crawl into bed and climb right on top of me.
“I’m okay with that.” I start to slip off my dress. Wanting that. Wanting us skin on skin. To let his warmth fill me up. Ease this ache.
“Don’t,” he growls, stopping me. “First we’re going to clear up some things.”
I drop my hand and shake my head.
“You thought I was having an affair before you even came here that night?” he asks, studying me, recalling my words to him. I had, but I’d discounted those thoughts. I’d come here to tell him how I’d been feeling for those past few months.
“I…” God, I feel terrible. How could I have let this get this far? “You’d started coming home later and later. I felt like there were secrets. Then the way she’d treat me,” I nod towards the door, out to where Cary’s desk sits, “when I called or stopped by. It pissed me off. Then Cindy said I was crazy, and to come and talk to you. So I did, but when I got here and saw her naked, I…”
“Your dad,” he finishes for me. I was going to say I freaked out and ran, but yeah, a big part of that was my dad. Phillip went right to the root of it. I drop my head, looking at my feet, feeling shame that I let that get between us.
Then Phillip is picking me up, placing me in his lap as he sits down on the couch.
“This isn’t your fault, sweet Molly.” God, I love when he calls me that. I look up into his dark blue eyes that are all soft and sweet now. His big hands cup my face. “I should have known what you’d think, but I was too worried about myself. What I might do to you. You’re so young, and it’s almost like I forget that in some areas but not in others.”
His thumb brushes my lips and I can’t stop my tongue from peeking out, trying to get a taste of him, making a half smile pull at his lips.
“I don’t get it,” I admit.
“I should have known you were going to think that. Hell, we’d laid in bed many nights, you telling me about how he was and how you’d never want a family like that. That it messed with your mom, and I knew that shit messed with you, too. Even he messed with you. I see it. His little side jabs, like you were too young to participate in some conversations. Always going on about how you had to get a silly art degree. It’s why I didn’t care when I moved you away from him to another city. It’s also why I gave him a piece of my mind that very night after we said ‘I do.’”
I stare at him. I shouldn't be surprised he’d say something to my father, but I guess I never thought he noticed the things my dad did. All my experiences had been shaped and influenced by my insecurities. Never had Phillip treated me like I was less than.
“You’re young and I knew that. I should have taken better care of you.”
“You do. I was silly. I should have stayed and fought. I should have—”
“Fought for a husband who even let an idea like that pop into your head? Fight for a husband who told you he’d give you one thing but hadn’t followed through?”
“We would have gotten there,” I tell him, because we would have. I know that now. He was letting go of the reins at work. Moving us out of the city. He’s been talking about it all week.
“We would have—we
are
,” he corrects. “But all this goes back to my insecurities, too. I was afraid you wouldn’t love me if you knew.”
I feel my eyebrows pull together, not understanding what he means.
“Whatever it is, we’ll get through it.” I try to reassure him. I don’t want these little doubts between us anymore either. Maybe it was a product of my age and of rushing down the aisle so hastily. It didn’t matter. It still got us here, no matter the path. It got me where I wanted to be: in his lap, our baby in my belly cradled between us.
“I know we will because it’s too late. I fought it too long and now I can’t hold back.”
I try and wiggle a little closer to him while straddling his lap. My baby bump rubs up against his hard stomach. His hands drop from my face, going to my thighs where my dress ends. Then they slide just a little underneath, the tips of his fingers disappearing under my dress.
“I’ve been trying to hold back with you. Yeah, I was working a lot to get things wrapped up, but I was also doing it because I kept sinking deeper and deeper into you. My every thought began and ended with you. I wanted you by my side always. I was afraid I was going to crush you with my need.”
“I happen to like your need, if it’s anything like what you’ve shown me this past week,” I reply, eating up the look he has on his face. So much hunger and passion. It’s intense and I love it. I want that from him as deeply as he wants me.