Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife (65 page)

Major George Wickham’s colonel had advanced him to a new regiment. Reassignment without demotion usually meant advancement in the military. This was true particularly during wartime, when careers were made upon one good skirmish. Exhausting all evasive action, Wickham had resigned himself to assignment outre-mer and thought a few medals would garnish his uniform quite nicely. A quiet adjutant position, possibly doing correspondence for his commanding officer in Brussels, would be no strain upon his nerves. Brussels in the spring was said to be lovely.

But Major Wickham had never been less pleased. Albeit, in all good conscience, even he should not have been surprised. For the colonel reassigning him was also a cuckolded husband—cuckolded by Major Wickham—and the said same major found his newly reassigned person right in the midst of a most distressing battlefield.

* * *

As long as he had been encamped near society, the army had not been unbearable for Wickham. Actual combat upon a filthy countryside, however, was entirely insupportable. He believed a demotion might have been an improvement (howbeit that was perilously close to being cashiered altogether). Was this dubious advancement not insult enough, the reason given for it came by way of one of his many vanities, his height. Yes, tall he was. Hence, the Grenadiers called.

This was an assignment where he could not prosper and had a high probability of physical harm. Moreover, the Grenadiers had decidedly unfashionable uniforms. His least favourite things.

He was in an undeniably unmerry pinch. Not only endangered and sartorially affronted, prosperity had been most unkind. That last little business at his previous post with those pesky gambling debts meant he was yet signing his lamentations to Lydia for more money with no higher rank than major. In light of some of his more provocative peccadilloes (even only those of which his army superiors were aware, which, of course, would be the only way to find a manageable number from which to gauge his greater body of works), it would be highly unlikely that he could expect to receive a promotion in the near, or even distant future. Even was that possible, the next step up from Major would be Lieutenant Colonel. And that was a rank that would expect of him some actual effort of occupation.

No one weathered one’s own predicament with less forbearance than Wickham. It was evident that his superiors had hoped to corner him. Actually, he knew if they could legally use him for cannon fodder, there would have been a number who would have suggested it. To Wickham, they, in effect, had.

“This,” he asked himself petulantly, “is what I am delivered of an army composed of dilettante officers and failed sons of the aristocracy?” (That he was very much a dilettante and might even be considered a failed son was lost upon him. Inferiority of connexion had always fed the greatest injury.)

Hence, Major George Wickham, who had spent his life in pursuit of pleasure and aggressively avoiding even the most meagre hint of danger, was exceedingly displeased to be sitting upon the edge of the Belgian frontier. (One can only conjecture how additionally peeved he was to be looking into the hulking face of Napoleon’s army bulwarked only by a bunch of gangly grenade-lobbers.)

The only possible positive of his situation was that he was not upon the same continent as his wife. In light of that good tiding, Wickham did not surrender to despair. He could not remember a time when he could not find one more shot in his locker of schemes. Hence, when he was not bemoaning his fate, he spent every spare moment conniving how to pull the hat-trick of staying in Europe—but out of the war—and getting rich in the process.

Possibilities abounded.

He saw no advantage in Brussels society, what with all the war business. But he longed to see Vienna! Now there was a city worthy of his talents (both honed and those yet untapped). He would have to find resources, of course. A possibility would be to sell his commission. If, that is, he was not killed where he stood. If Napoleon did not retake Belgium, if he was not captured by the French…

It was difficult to maintain his ever-optimistic perspective, but he endeavoured to do so. In the interminable boredom of waiting to be shot out of his boots, however, he was hard-pressed to maintain his sanguinity. His most recent grand plan had failed miserably and his ego was stinging yet from being so decidedly rejected at Pemberley. (He disliked critiquing himself, but knew that betimes one must suffer harsh examination to perfect one’s technique.) Thinking back upon that visit, he endeavoured to determine just where he went wrong.

* * *

He had been in desperate straits when he received Elizabeth’s letter. He had just been given orders assigning him to a battle-ready regiment and he was frantic for funds to buy himself free. A notification in her hand of some long-forgotten bush child (…What was it? A son? Yes, a son by that chamber wench…whatever she was called) seemed a perfectly good excuse to presume himself welcome unto the bosom of his boyhood home. Wickham had made an art of avoiding the pointing finger of woman with child, but if he could see an advantage of the situation in it, he could become as in want of family as needed.

The letter arrived from Elizabeth yet at Pemberley in early spring. Wickham would have wagered a year’s salary (however little a major’s pay might be) that Elizabeth would not have written to him was not Darcy ensconced in London. Undoubtedly yet-lovely Mrs. Darcy would be quite alone and quite vulnerable in her want of company. Perhaps, he told himself, it was only because her husband was about that Elizabeth did not find herself felled under his considerable charms that day. Wooing unhappy wives had always been one of his particularly reliable abilities.

That Elizabeth must be discontented, he never questioned. Darcy was certainly not of more handsome countenance than himself, nor was it in his surly nature to provide a woman the flattery and attention necessary to secure her…eh, affection. Thus, it was all quite vexing.

A half-dozen years and he could yet not comprehend how Darcy and Elizabeth’s alliance came about in the first place. He would have wagered another year’s salary that Darcy would never have lowered himself to Elizabeth’s station to marry. Obviously she had not been with child, but of course a man of Darcy’s fortune could have easily side-stepped that responsibility had it been the case. He shook his head yet at Darcy’s arrogance. Wickham knew him fastidious, but he thought Darcy’s self-regard a trifle too meticulous to so roundly disdain the hoards of women swooning at his wealthy feet. For that reason, if no other, Wickham had been determined to take another measure of Elizabeth. For he surmised she held allurement far beyond simple fairness of face if she managed to snare the punctilious Darcy.

As a man who prided himself upon appraising feminine attributes in a single glance, Wickham no more than cast his eyes upon Elizabeth that day than he assessed her nubile and ripe. If she was barren, it could fall to nothing but Darcy’s indifference. Which was fortune to him. Elizabeth was ripe, in need of an heir, and undoubtedly lonely. He had the dark hair and, of course, the height of Darcy. Hence, no one would suspect the -difference in paternity when he impregnated her with the needed son (Wickham’s ego gave him no doubt he would father a son, such were his son-begetting credentials). Thereupon, when things were set in place, he would be able to live more than comfortably upon the money Elizabeth would bestow upon him to buy his silence.

Or, the other possibility. He almost smirked at the thought of Darcy being informed his son was not his own blood (for that was the one drawback to his first plan; he could not throw that in Darcy’s face or there would be no silence to be bought). Darcy’s pride would never allow that he was a cuckold be cast about. There could be no more satisfying revenge for Wickham than to do just that. Yes, it was a grand scheme. There was no way it should have failed. If Elizabeth would not buy his silence, her husband certainly would. Wickham would have wagered a year’s salary on it. And he could have lived in comfort in Europe, in Vienna. Not sitting upon the edge of the Belgian frontier facing Napoleon’s army.

* * *

In all of his mental machinations, however, the one thing Wickham kept forgetting was that he was an abominable gambler.

Servants took Bingley’s hat and walking stick at the door. He was told that his wife was upstairs with Mrs. Darcy. Quite at home in the Darcy household, he went in search of them unaccompanied. He followed voices up the staircase and to a room at the end of the corridor. Both his wife and her sister were laughing and, the door open, he took a step into room. His easy smile in place, he was quite ready to appreciate what amusement caused theirs.

“Good day, ladies,” he said jovially, “I see you are in finer spirits to-day…”

But his voice trailed off and his smile was lost when he saw the baby that sat betwixt them upon the floor.

Concurrently, Elizabeth and Jane looked up at Bingley, their expression mocking his somewhat. Both sisters’ countenances bore the additional burden of guilt, but for decidedly different reasons. Jane was contrite, for she knew that she had not scrupled to scheme behind her husband’s back. Elizabeth was mentally chastising herself for not having the courage to warn Jane that she had seen Bingley holding his baby not all that long ago and he would undoubtedly recognise him.

Obvious recognition of the baby was upon his face then, but worse, the realisation as well that Elizabeth and Jane both knew of his own complicity. The plan she and her sister had so labouriously hatched had not lasted a fortnight before it went off the rails by way of their own scrutable faces. Lacking incumbent guile, the sisters obviously needed more practise at subterfuge.

“Dash it all!” Elizabeth exclaimed to no one but herself, “Jane and I are hopeless connivers.”

There was an exceedingly uncomfortable silence, broken only by baby Alexander. He reached out and grabbed a string of wooden beads that dangled from Jane’s hand and noisily put them in his mouth. All three watched him do that, then an uncomfortable silence engulfed them once again. Seeing it quite impossible to reinstate their planned fiction that the baby being at Pemberley was a great coincidence, Elizabeth stood, and thereupon eased by Bingley who yet stood in the doorway.

She escaped the room but halted at the nearest doorway and entered, leaving the door ajar. She drew a chair next to it and sat, trying to hear what was being said above the pounding of her heart. The door closed behind Bingley and was followed by an agonising quiet. She believed Darcy right when he assured her so long ago that no one in an adjoining room at Pemberley could hear their lovemaking, the walls were that tight. She would have given up every claim of privacy to be able to hear what Jane and Bingley were saying then.

The shock and disbelief she had felt the day she saw Bingley with Alexander and his mother had revisited her like a thunderclap and made the blood in her temples throb. So much had bechanced since then, it had, until that moment, faded into the haze of some far distant past. No more. Her outrage restored as well, she knew she was finding more vengeful satisfaction that Bingley would have to answer to his betrayal in his lifetime than a practising Christian should. (That had been the most galling thing about the entire affair Elizabeth believed; Bingley being spared penance before Jane.)

But she knew her vengeance would be better appeased if she could hear what was being said. She opened the door wider and peered back down the hall at the thick oak door betwixt herself and Jane. Still hearing nothing, she boldly stepped out into the hall, leaned back against the doorpost and folded her arms. Her position improved, she heard muffled voices. Thereupon she heard weeping. Her anger boiled. This would not do!

Her hands firmly upon her hips (and a slight jutting of her chin announcing a pugnacity that was not particularly flattering), she marched down the hall. How dare Bingley make Jane cry! She was the injured party! He should be upon his knees begging Jane’s forgiveness! Looking to either side, she searched wildly for some object to inflict retribution upon Bingley’s person, becoming angrier with each step she took. Not finding anything handy by the time she reached the door, she decided she was irate enough to take a pound of flesh from his hide without a weapon.

She flung the door back and burst into the room. She wished she had not. At her sister’s intrusion, Jane looked up.

It was not she who was crying.

* * *

It was unsettling to Elizabeth to have intruded into so private a moment, and the only consolation she had was that, in view of the fact that Bingley was weeping wretchedly into Jane’s lap, he had not known she had witnessed it. She supposed he was suffering from his own misdeeds enough to satisfy her own righteous indignation. Pity was an emotion Elizabeth seldom found reason to summon, but she drew it forth in a measure large enough to keep herself from judging Bingley.

Albeit Bingley was in ignorance of her encroachment upon his privacy, there was, nevertheless, the no small matter of the rather flagrant proof of his indiscretion. The giggling, squirming, cooing proof of his indiscretion. It was difficult to step about it at first, Bingley behaving rather cowed in Elizabeth’s presence. But soon, howbeit she knew their previous understanding of normalcy was forever altered, a precarious symmetry was eventually obtained. Conversation eventually abandoned wearying civility and flowed more easily, the self-conscious shuffling of Bingley’s feet stopped, and the days returned to their maddening monotony of fear and dread.

And when Jane and Bingley took Alexander home to Kirkland, the folk of Derbyshire were thrown into a confusion of paternity supposition of gargantuan proportions.

For several days after Mr. Darcy took leave, Hannah drew Elizabeth’s bath faithfully. Nevertheless, she ignored it. At first, it was not a conscious decision, Elizabeth merely stepped around the tub and donned fresh clothes. Gradually, it dawned upon her why she was neglecting so fundamental a part of her toilette. It was for the very same reason that she sat looking at, rather than sitting in, her steaming tub after their wedding night.

She did not want to wash her husband from her body.

In a time when one of average means did well to wash before church each Sunday, it took clearly a week for Elizabeth to suspect her own odour might be giving offence. To her it was a banner of loyalty to Darcy, but she chose not to explain herself, sparing the necessity of sharing that particular logic with anyone.

Another rationale for not bathing was Baby Alexander. He was a happy diversion and Elizabeth fancied that it made him feel more acclimated hugging the neck of an unperfumed woman. One who smelled more like his mother. (If the average man bathed but once a week, those of meagre circumstance could only pray for a good rain.) He may have been comforted thusly, but that was unclear. The thing that was clear was that Alexander had a happy disposition. Some traits will out; Elizabeth supposed he inherited his from Bingley. Moreover, he had shown no signs of his mother’s disease.

When Jane took Alexander home to Kirkland, Elizabeth missed his company but lectured herself that it was as it should be. His relocation and Darcy’s extended absence convinced her to give up her absurd determination not to bathe, but she sat in the tub and sobbed inconsolably when she finally did. If others were happy she came to the conclusion of finally surrendering to soap, no one spoke of it.

Thus, the days were more patient than Elizabeth was and she struggled to fill them. She was “not at home” for most people, seeing only the Bingleys and Lady Millhouse. She was determined word not reach her father, for she knew he would not be able to elude her mother long enough to come to her side alone.

Although she did not keep to her room, she rarely took to the outdoors unless to count off paces to the gate. There she would pause and look longingly for the mail-coach, thereupon trudge slowly back to the house. Even there her routine was strict, and she was unable to steel herself to visit the gallery. At one time, she was comforted during her husband’s brief absences by sitting beneath his likeness. Elizabeth did not want to investigate her heart to understand why even the thought of his portrait was so painful then.

Recognising Elizabeth’s despondency and knowing the reason for it, Lady Millhouse obliged her to do just that. She suggested they stroll the length of the gallery and make sport of some of the more ludicrous wigs worn in the ancient paintings. Knowing it imprudent to admit an extravagance of sentimentality to her, Elizabeth nevertheless demurred, saying it saddened her to look at Darcy’s portrait. As expected, Lady Millhouse pronounced it maudlin to pine over an absence.

“It is insipid to sit about like a vapid flower moping over Darcy! He shall return with Georgiana within a fortnight. I shall not worry for Newton, God shall protect him. You must keep yourself busy! Come, let us walk.”

Elizabeth listened to her reassurance with perfect indifference, for Lady Millhouse’s bravado was quite suspect. That lady’s will was not to be denied, however, She took Elizabeth firmly in hand and led her reluctantly to confront the source of her melancholia.

Darcy’s portrait hung at the far end of the room, thus they were able to work their way to it slowly. Again, Elizabeth pondered the ancestors of her unborn child. Seldom did these countenances fail to amuse her, for they were all in the happy circumstances of riches, and all but a few seemed quite dour about it. (Was it simply bad teeth? She could only guess.) This thought of tooth-loss renewed her gratitude that her own were yet in her head and that Darcy’s were sound as well. Perchance their children would inherit their parents’ strong teeth.

Eventually their tour took them to the portrait of Darcy’s mother. For, howbeit none of the portraits beheld smiling countenances, hers was not only unsmiling, but also seemingly forlorn. That thought had always nagged at Elizabeth, but she believed it an observation only of her own.

Darcy had told her this painting of his mother was done after his birth. It was ten years later that she would die bearing Georgiana, and Elizabeth wondered if she had some infirmity that grieved her even then (and hoped it was not her teeth). Lady Millhouse walked up and stood silently next to her as she gazed upon the elder Mrs. Darcy.

“Georgiana does favour Elinor, does she not, Elizabeth?”

Grateful she spoke of Georgiana in the present tense, Elizabeth was taken unawares at hearing Mrs. Darcy called by her Christian name. “Elinor. Yes, she does.” Indeed, Georgiana did favour her mother, for she was blonde and slight. And howbeit there was a resemblance, Elinor Darcy would be much more likely to be described as handsome than beautiful. Georgiana had her colouring and slim figure, but her features were more delicate than her mother’s, her chin not as pronounced.

“She was lovely,” Elizabeth said diplomatically, knowing an outright fabrication would invite correction from Lady Millhouse. “But I wonder if she was ill when her likeness was taken. She looks a bit drawn about the eyes.”

“What grieved her was not her health, I am afraid,” said Lady Millhouse without further clarification.

It was the first time Elizabeth could remember her making such a deliberately abstruse comment. But she did not question it, knowing the lady would elaborate in her own good time. As if by prearrangement, both their gazes turned to the late Mr. Darcy’s portrait. His countenance smiled down upon them from just to the left of his wife’s. He had been a handsome man and did not appear to have the ability to brood as did his son.

“No question of that gentleman’s health, he must have been quite a robust man,” Elizabeth observed.

“Gerard was very robust,” Lady Millhouse said, but it was not spoken in admiration. “Elinor was five years his senior, yet he outlived her by ten. I fancy she might have lived longer had her heart not borne a disappointment.”

It was unlikely Lady Millhouse intended that remark to go unquestioned. Elizabeth obliged.

“Pray, did she not die in childbirth with Georgiana?”

“That is merely when she died, not why.”

“You shall, of course,” Elizabeth put her hand upon her hip, “tell me the why.”

“I would not have brought it up otherwise.”

No, she would not, Elizabeth knew that well.

“Gerard Darcy was much beloved in this county, not only by his son, but everyone of his acquaintance. He was of handsome figure, amiable disposition, and benevolent heart. Robust as well. Albeit your husband inherited his father’s countenance, his temperament and scruples are those of his mother.”

Elizabeth nodded her head in concurrence, for she had believed that to be true, but never heard it put so frankly.

“As you learnt quite expeditiously, Elizabeth, marriage within Darcy’s presumed society is not often a match where love or even affection is a consideration. The fortunes of Elinor and Gerard were far too vast to leave to the whim of passion. Their marriage was arranged. Though it was not born of love, I believe, as often happens, eventually mutual regard developed. That esteem was perhaps felt more firmly by Elinor.”

Lady Millhouse turned her back to the Darcy portraits and Elizabeth as well, possibly in apology of the story she intended to relate.

“Lizzy,” (it was the first time Lady Millhouse had addressed her thus, and Elizabeth took it as an endearment) “have you heard the tales of the late Duchess of Devonshire? She and the Duke resided at Chatsworth.”

“Of course.”

“Difficult to avoid, I suppose. She did invite a great deal of gossip, not only in Derbyshire, but also across England. Georgiana was very beautiful. Very flirtatious. She drank like a sailor and gambled like a lord.”

Lady Millhouse laughed at the memory.

Turning to look at Elizabeth, she assured her, “The reverse would have been better, for when it came to games of chance, luck was the thing that eschewed her company.”

“In time her gambling debts became so great, she feared the Duke would refuse to pay them. Come she did then to the benevolent, rich, and robust Gerard Darcy, bewailing her sad tale of woe. At first, she merely sought his counsel. It blossomed into more.”

Hardly unsuspecting of the direction this story was taking, Elizabeth nonetheless took a slight gasp at hearing it spoken.

“Mrs. Darcy learnt of it?”

“Oh yes.”

Lady Millhouse turned about directly facing Elizabeth and folded her arms.

“I believe you know Elinor was a sister to Lady Catherine de Bourgh?”

Elizabeth nodded and resorted to the emphasis of a raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. Of course you do. Lady Catherine...I never had any use for that woman...” Lady Millhouse groused before continuing, “Lady Catherine made certain Elinor learnt of it. Her motive being yet unearthed. Most probably, she desired everyone to be as unhappy as herself. She always has had a nose for who was getting a leg over whom.”

Getting up a head of steam over Lady Catherine’s many personal inadequacies, Lady Millhouse’s story was redirected, “I always believed the sour look upon her puss was from her marriage to old Lord Lewis. They say that milksop could not get his cock into a gallop if he whipped the beast with both hands. There was always a question of just who sired Lady Anne. It is said Catherine always favoured one buck-toothed footman and Lady Anne’s teeth are a disgrace, if that lends the story any credibility. I dare say if you saw a man clinging to a Rosing’s coach looking particularly abused, he would be the one who got the odious duty of lathering that woman’s saddle...”

As much as Elizabeth enjoyed being shocked at Lady Millhouse’s narrative about Darcy’s aunt (her colourful euphemisms alone were worth the listen), Elizabeth was dangling yet over what bechanced with Mr. and Mrs. Darcy.

“Thus, Lady Catherine told Elinor about Mr. Darcy’s affair. Pray, what happened? Did she confront him? Was there a row?”

“Nothing so dramatic, I am afraid.” Lady Millhouse tsked several times. “Albeit, in a manner of speaking she did confront him. She was near term when she learnt of the affair. She died only days after the birth. But with her dying breath she told the rector what name she wanted her daughter christened.”

“Georgiana.”

“Indeed. I dare say Gerard suffered every time he spoke his daughter’s name. I know he behaved more circumspectly. A little too late for his wife, however.”

“I do not believe Darcy knows any of this.”

“Few do. The liaison was discreet. Gerard was always discreet in his assignations.”

“He had others?”

“Not after Elinor died. Though the Duchess of Devonshire is in her grave and that chapter ended, others are not so compleat. It is best to let them lie. Do you not agree?”

Elizabeth knew had she been otherwise inclined she had no choice but to think so too. In a less than facile change of discourse, she looked upon Darcy’s likeness and thereupon to his father’s.

“How tall was Mr. Darcy? I mean Gerard Darcy?”

“I believe that he was as tall as your husband and when young, his hair was dark as well. Odd, how some traits are stronger than are others. Should we not breed as we do horses? Weed out the ill characteristics, dishonesty, hypocrisy—was that done, we would not have any Lady Catherines about at all.”

They both laughed.

“That is a thought, but are we not bred in a sense now? Land to marry land, title to title, position to position, and produce a son above all else?”

As she spoke, Elizabeth endeavoured unsuccessfully not to sound bitter. If she did, Lady Millhouse did not acknowledge it, and Elizabeth peered at Gerard Darcy’s face and saw beyond his resemblance to her husband. Was it the story she had just heard that bade him oddly familiar to her? Or something else. She tried to pinpoint it in her mind, but before she mulled it long, Lady Millhouse startled her.

“Did our good Darcy know you were with child before he left?”

“Pray, how…?”

“Nothing mysterious. You have not ridden. I would have thought you would have ridden every day in your husband’s absence. Moreover, as often as he butters your bun you were bound to have one in the oven again sooner or later.”

Lady Millhouse’s explicit delineation of her marital activities obliged Elizabeth to crimson and hastily redirect the discourse once again, “I had once hoped my husband would be the first to learn of this baby. If he does not hurry home, I fear he may well be the last.”

With that small attempt at mirth, Lady Millhouse was cheered to know that Elizabeth had not compleatly given in to despair. Moreover, a little family history would give her more to chew upon than just fretting over her travails.