Mr. Darcy's Secret (14 page)

"He didn't mention going to Birchlow, but I'll certainly pass on your felicitations. I know he does attend market occasionally with his steward, especially if there are horses to be bought."

Elizabeth was puzzled. Fitzwilliam told her most of his activities, but she couldn't remember this outing or that he had mentioned calling on the Tissingtons. Lizzy was certain it must have been George Tissington that Mrs Butler had described. She put down her teacup. All of a sudden she felt very weary. Sitting by the warm fire was making her feel very drowsy. Despite her efforts, her eyelids flickered shut momentarily.

"Forgive me, Mrs Darcy, I think you are feeling tired. I hope you will not mind my saying this, but you are very pale. Are you feeling quite well?"

All of a sudden Lizzy felt as if she had become a leaden weight; her limbs felt heavy and aching and the tiredness was so consuming that she felt sleep steal over her like a dose of laudanum. She was feeling rather strange again, and a wave of nausea washed over her so strongly that she thought she might faint.

"Oh, Mrs Butler, I am so sorry, you must think me so rude coming here unannounced and then falling asleep the moment I sit down. I do not know what the matter is with me, but I admit I have not really been feeling quite myself these past few days. I thought air and exercise would do me good, but I admit I do not feel very strong. What would you advise, Mrs Butler, for the sickness I seem to be suffering of late? I can hardly eat and it is so unlike me to lose my appetite."

Elizabeth looked up to see Mrs Butler smiling at her. "Oh, my dear, I do not think you should worry unduly about your sickness; it is an excellent sign in cases such as these. Forgive my impertinence, but I think you must take good care of yourself in your situation."

Elizabeth met Mrs Butler's eyes, which twinkled with merriment.

"Oh, my dear Mrs Darcy, do forgive me, but with your welfare in mind, your aunt asked me if I would keep an eye on you just before she left. As your aunt and your mother are so far away, I hope I may be of some use to you. That is, of course, if you should wish it."

With a dawning realisation at her insinuation Lizzy blushed as she caught the sense of Mrs Butler's speech. Could it possibly be true? She looked over at the kind lady beaming on the opposite side and remembered what her aunt had said about Martha, her oldest and most trusted friend. To have someone to confide in, someone who knew exactly how she was feeling would be wonderful, if what Mrs Butler was implying was really a possibility.

Elizabeth tried to find the words. "Do you mean? Are you suggesting...? Oh, my goodness!" cried Lizzy, in amazement as the reality of her situation started to sink in. "Mrs Butler, I can think of no one else I would rather turn to for advice than your good self. If what you say is true I know your advice will be invaluable, thank you."

"You must arrange to see a physician as soon as possible. And rest assured, Mrs Darcy, this conversation is private and strictly confidential. Do not worry; I should never repeat anything you have to tell me. Now, whilst the idea of this splendid news is sinking in, I shall leave you for a moment. I have a seed cake in the pantry, which I will fetch just now. A slice and a fresh cup of tea will do you good and help you get your strength back. And when I return we will consider how best to get you home."

Elizabeth fairly hugged herself with excitement, but until she had more proof or seen the physician, she was not quite sure she could believe it. Besides, it was early days and she knew that she would have to wait a little longer before confiding in anyone else, even Fitzwilliam. To have his hopes raised before everything was certain would be disastrous if it turned out she was mistaken, or worse, if something went wrong. "A baby, perhaps an heir to Pemberley," she thought. "Am I really having Mr Darcy's baby? Is it possible that I am going to be a mother?" The very idea was enough to make her want to burst with pride, and how she would keep her secret she could not contemplate.

Mrs Butler returned bearing the promised cake, which was cut into slices and elegantly arranged on a colourful Newhall plate. Surprisingly, Elizabeth thought that, considering how nauseous she had felt earlier, she now felt absolutely ravenous and devoured the cake with ease. Mrs Butler urged her to take another piece, adding that it would help her to regain her strength for the journey home. "Not that I shall be allowing you to walk home, Mrs Darcy. If you have no objection you can have a ride in my donkey carriage."

"I do not want to put you to any trouble, Mrs Butler, but the idea of your donkey carriage is a lovely one. Thank you so much, I do not think I could manage the walk home at present."

So it was settled. Mrs Butler's manservant Nicholls would drive her home.

"Well now, Mrs Darcy, if it's not too impertinent of me, I'd like to suggest that we get you home before it gets dark and they send out a search party for you. Remember, if you need me for anything at all, just ask; I am always here. And when you next write to your aunt, if you can include amongst all your exciting news that you have seen me, I would be most grateful. She will understand. Take care of yourself, my dear, and keep your walking to a gentle stroll around the garden for the present."

"I will, Mrs Butler. Thank you so much for a lovely afternoon and for all your kindly advice."

The little carriage soon stopped outside the gate, and after Mrs Butler had shown Lizzy in and wrapped her up in blankets and shawls, they set off at a gentle pace. It was rather lovely to be out clopping along at a donkey's pace in an open carriage, the air fresh in her face. As Lizzy contemplated the excitement of all that had passed during the afternoon's conversation, she could not help but dwell on what Mrs Butler had said about seeing Mr Darcy in Birchlow. That he had been seen accompanied by a young man was rather strange; his steward could hardly be considered to be fitting the description, and that he had not mentioned the trip made it all the more puzzling. Birchlow, she knew, was home to the Tissington family. Master Tissington was a fine, tall boy. But what was Mr Darcy doing with the boy? She supposed he must have called on the family; after all, the boy's mother had been a servant of the Darcy family. She would ask him about it when she got home. For now, she could think of little but the reasons for her tiredness and of how thrilled she was at the idea. The little cart picked up pace as they turned over the bridge, and Elizabeth delighted in all she saw of Lambton village around her. Lamps were being lit and she could see into the windows of some of the cottages, into cosy kitchens where mothers with babies on their shoulders nursed them to sleep. Elizabeth fell into a delightful reverie imagining how it might be to nurse her own babe, when just as they were approaching the crossroads, another carriage coming along in the opposite direction was travelling with such fearsome speed that it seemed a collision was inevitable. Nicholls pulled on the reins, ensuring that his docile donkey halted, but nothing was going to stop the other carriage, which appeared not even to notice the little donkey cart until it was almost too late. Watching with increasing alarm Elizabeth saw the other carriage swerve within a hair's breadth of her and observed with sickening clarity horses rearing in fright, and the whole coach sway dangerously from side to side. Not only was there complete uproar, but also the lady seated within the oncoming coach poked out her head at that moment and shouted in abusive tones, "Get out of the road, you stupid man! What do you mean by hogging the highway with that stinking cart. Do you not know who I am? I shall have you incarcerated."

The handsome carriage swerved once more as it came to a shuddering standstill. There were more shouts of anger as its occupant called to be let out and as she stepped down aided by a servant in livery, Elizabeth could have died as she recognized both the traveller and the familiar crest on the vehicle door. As Mrs Darcy stared, the countenance of the lady she knew only too well became increasingly thunderstruck, her jaw slackening and her mouth dropping open.

Undaunted by this formidable presence, even though she was well aware that she must look a fright in her mud splattered cloak and shawls sitting atop a donkey carriage, she had no trouble finding the courage to speak.

"Begging your pardon, Lady Catherine, but I believe if not for Nicholls's careful handling we could have had a nasty accident here. It was your coachman who was driving too fast and with little regard for anyone else on the road," Elizabeth began as she stepped down from the cart. "If anyone needs scolding, it is he!"

Lady Catherine de Bourgh looked Mrs Darcy up and down with such an expression of horror and contempt it was all Lizzy could do to keep her nerve. "Does your husband know that you are running around the countryside dressed as a gypsy riding in a donkey cart, Miss Bennet?" she asked in scolding tones. "What on earth can you mean by disgracing Mr Darcy in such a fashion? Have you no idea of decorum, are you insensible to the honours bestowed on you by him, that fool of a nephew of mine who has singled you out above all other women to bear his name?"

"A name, ma'am, which you clearly have trouble in remembering," thought Elizabeth, feeling indignant not only at the rude manner in which she had been spoken to, but also at the fact that she had not been addressed by her new title: Mrs Darcy. In any case, what was Lady Catherine doing here? She was not expected for another week. And now the worst possible beginning that she could imagine for any new understanding between them had just taken place, in the mere twinkling of an eye. It was not her fault, but she had been rather outspoken, goaded by Lady Catherine's offensive and discourteous behaviour. Conscious that she might undo any reconciliation and the chance of true appeasement between this offensive woman and Mr Darcy, Elizabeth swiftly came to the conclusion that it might be best to take a superior position and try her utmost to smooth over the situation.

"Lady Catherine, I must admit that I was not expecting you until next week, but I do hope you are on your way to Pemberley. Mr Darcy is so looking forward to your visit."

"Is he indeed, Mrs Darcy?" came the reply, short and succinct.

"You must be very tired after your journey, Lady Catherine, and after the shock of the accident I think you need the comfort of a good fire and plenty of sweet tea. I will not keep you talking any longer. Let me assist you to your carriage."

"I thank you, Mrs Darcy, but I only take my own particular blend of tea, and I could not bear to have its delicate balance of flavours corrupted by cloying sugar. I am tired of travelling and unable to tell you if I shall put up at Pemberley at all, though if you insist, I might sit by a fire in the hall for a half hour. Harrogate has no charms left; I am entirely fatigued by the North Country and its odious people, and I am in no humour to waste any more of my time in the company of those who pretend to court me. I suppose you would like to take the rest of your journey in my carriage? Well, what are you waiting for? Only remove those hideous shawls before stepping up; I cannot be seen conversing with someone dressed as a washerwoman."

Through gritted teeth Elizabeth did as she was bid, taking care to make sure that the garrulous woman was settled before she took her seat. For one who professed to be tired Lady Catherine did not cease talking all the way to Pemberley, and Elizabeth had quite a headache by the time she was home. With so many impertinent questions to answer she had to be on her mettle. All her tiredness disappeared for the moment; she was determined not to say or do anything that might reflect badly against her husband and for that she had to be wide-awake.

What a commotion ensued on their arrival. Elizabeth could tell that poor Mrs Reynolds, though as accommodating as ever, was quite upset that she was not prepared for Lady Catherine's arrival. Maids and servants flew about them removing luggage and bandboxes. As they entered the hall Mrs Reynolds took Elizabeth to one side. "Begging your pardon, ma'am, but I think you should know that the master has been in a bit of a lather since you left this afternoon. He's had all the footmen out looking for you on the peaks. I did tell him that you like to go off on your own sometimes, but he wouldn't listen. Don't judge him too badly if he seems a little fractious, but he's been that worried, I can't tell you."

Elizabeth fumed inwardly. She had not been gone for long. Why must she tell the entire household if she wanted to go for a walk? Mr Darcy's reaction seemed entirely ridiculous if what Mrs Reynolds said was true.

Lady Catherine was refusing to leave the hall. She had set up by the fire insisting that she would be gone again in a quarter of an hour. "I am not stopping," she said. "I shall rest for a moment before heading home to Rosings. At my time of life, too many demands placed upon one's time are positively injurious to the health; though I must add that there is not another traveller in the whole of England as stalwart as myself, and those half my age would agree there is no one they know with more stamina. And that is precisely the problem with Lady Cathcart's circle in Harrogate; they could do with taking a leaf or two out of my book. It seems to me a very stupid sort of person who does not appreciate good advice when it is being offered to them. It's small wonder that she suffers so dreadfully with every ache and pain known to man when she refuses to try my frugal diet of vegetables and poached fish, highly recommended to me by the Earl of Southampton. If she followed my strict regime, all her digestion troubles would be entirely eliminated. And as for the perils of crow's foot she has entrenched upon her countenance, I truly despair. If she had taken the recommendation I offered her last winter of a daily application of Gowland's lotion, she would look half her age. Well, if people don't know what's good for them, I don't know what I am to do about it."

Mr Darcy could not come soon enough, thought Elizabeth, though as she took in his stern expression as she met him by the door, she could see that he was not best pleased. "I cannot begin to tell you of the upset you have caused this afternoon, Mrs Darcy," he began. "Why on earth did you not inform someone of where you were going?"

Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but Mr Darcy interrupted, saying, "I have no time to discuss this now, I must see to my aunt."

He swept past without another glance at Lizzy, rushing over to the cantankerous lady who was eyeing them both with great suspicion. Lady Catherine extended her bejewelled hand as Fitzwilliam approached, greeting her warmly and bending his head to place a kiss.

"I would like to say what a pleasure it is to be at Pemberley again, Fitzwilliam, but I have endured such a day that nothing could afford me any pleasure. The singular activities enjoyed by your wife have very nearly brought me to grief this afternoon. I cannot think why a donkey cart would be a preferable conveyance to that of a Darcy coach ornamented with the family crest, but I daresay it has something to do with her old habits."

Elizabeth wished the ground to open up. Mr Darcy was looking at her with an expression so severe she thought for an instant that she might burst into tears. The day had been so exacting on many counts; she felt so weary, and how she was going to explain everything she could not think. Her brain and her body would not work properly together.

"I called on Mrs Butler, and she offered her cart to take me home. We met Lady Catherine on the road..." Elizabeth faltered.

Mr Darcy looked away and toward his aunt. "I hope you are going to stay, Aunt. We have both looked forward to your visit with great pleasure and would be sorry if you were to leave so soon."

Lady Catherine pursed her lips. "I have no motive to disappoint my dear nephew. Perhaps I will stay. Despite my great shock at being almost overturned in my own carriage today, I find my appetite returning, and, as I always say, the de Bourghs and the Darcys know more than any families in the kingdom how to keep a good table. I hope, Mrs Darcy, that you see to all the menus yourself?"

Mr Darcy spoke up. "Mrs Darcy does an excellent job in all domestic matters, I think you will find, Aunt Catherine."

"I enjoy my household duties very much, Lady Catherine," Lizzy spoke up as soon as he had finished. "The discovery of the late Mrs Darcy's receipt books has been a very useful source for inspiration in the kitchen. Written in such a beautiful hand and with such tried and tested methods, I have been able to draw on her expertise with the help of Mrs Reynolds."

"My sister did have a superior hand and a talent for the culinary arts. It is a trait with which I too am most fortunate to be so blessed. When you next come to Rosings Park, Mrs Darcy, you may have my receipt for herb dumplings. You will find no better authority nor softer dumplings than mine, let me assure you."

Elizabeth could hardly suppress a smile. To flatter Lady Catherine must surely be quite the best way to win her over. "I am certain I would find such advice invaluable, Lady Catherine. I know Mr Darcy prefers soft dumplings to any other kind."

Mr Darcy glanced over at his wife, a flicker of a smile and a quizzical expression on his countenance, but his wife returned his perusal just as steadily and with as solemn an expression as she could muster. How dare he be cross with her, she thought; she would not give in to his smiles so easily.

"Please allow me to show you to your room, Lady Catherine," Elizabeth addressed her. "Mrs Reynolds will lead the way. We thought you'd like to have your sister's room. There is such a charming portrait of you both as young girls on the wall, set between the windows. She was so very beautiful, and you are so alike in looks. You must miss her very much, and an elder sister is always of such comfort."

"Mrs Darcy was my younger sister by five years, but we were often taken for twins in our youth. You are not the first to remark on the similarity of our features. Noble blood and aristocratic noses are those features which mark out the truly genteel. One can only pray that they will continue to grace the Darcy lineage." They had mounted the stairs and were almost at the top. Mrs Reynolds, several steps in front, disappeared quickly into the room to make sure everything was as perfect as it could be. As they reached the door Lady Catherine turned. "Have you told your husband yet, Mrs Darcy?"

"Forgive me, I'm not certain to what you refer, Lady Catherine," answered Elizabeth, blushing furiously, unsure as to her meaning and feeling quite conscious of all that had passed during the afternoon.

"Come now, Mrs Darcy, do not insult me. I knew as soon as I saw you. A little ginger in your tea will cure the worst of the symptoms. Ask your friend Mrs Collins; she will tell you how she was still able to see to the pigs after my intervention. I don't doubt you will produce a healthy offspring. Of course, those persons not so highly born are often generally better suited for breeding, and this may be where you have the advantage over a refined, aristocratic gel of a delicate frame and constitution. For the purposes of crude procreation, I daresay my nephew has chosen wisely in plumping for a girl of well-built proportions; I pray the excesses of childbirth are not injurious to your health. Many a young woman has been snuffed out in her prime, if not after the first, then after half a dozen or more confinements." Lady Catherine looked Elizabeth up and down as if she were examining a prize cow. "Now, I shall leave you. I suppose dinner is at six, as it always has been at Pemberley. I am feeling ravenous--a hearty dinner tonight, I think. The Earl of Southampton recommends frugal diets only in the summer months."

Lady Catherine turned and entered her bedchamber without a backward glance. Elizabeth stood for a moment on the threshold, desirous of following her and telling her exactly what she thought, but she knew that to do so would be a fruitless exercise. Besides, there was someone else who needed a talking to, and she must find him straight away.

Elizabeth went in search of Mr Darcy as soon as she could. It was imperative that she speak to him before Lady Catherine divulged her suppositions whether outright or by none too subtle hints. He was getting ready for dinner and looked so striking in his black coat that she almost felt shy as she entered his dressing room. How to begin on such a subject she could not think. Before she had a chance to speak, however, Mr Darcy gestured to her to sit down. She sat upon a chair before the window and looked up to see him scrutinising her most severely.

He spoke in measured tones. "I am very disappointed, Elizabeth. What on earth were you thinking? I have had every man looking for you over the entire estate; nobody knew where you were. Did you not consider for a moment how worried I might be? To go off without informing me or anyone else of your whereabouts is utterly irresponsible. Not only have you had me almost out of my mind with anxiety, but then I also find that you are dressing like a peasant to go off donkey riding in the countryside. To wholly disregard your position here at Pemberley and that of myself shows such little consideration that I find myself unable to credit. You have submitted yourself to the derision and ridicule of our neighbours. What they must think of me for allowing you to conduct yourself thus is anyone's guess. And then to be seen in such a state by Lady Catherine herself is quite unforgivable. Are you trying to make a fool of me? Please explain your actions, Elizabeth, for at this moment, I do not comprehend you."

"No, sir, you do not comprehend me, that is very certain. I was not aware when we married that I was from that day restricted, unable to move, speak, or voice an opinion without your approbation or permission, but it is becoming increasingly clear that I am no longer able to enjoy a free will of my own. I am sorry if you think my conduct has been unbecoming or if I gave you cause to worry, but it was not done with any intention of shaming you or belittling your noble standing in the community. As for your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, whose unannounced arrival has thrown everyone into disarray, I hope you will recall that if it were not for myself, the reconciliation you hope to accomplish would never have been a remote possibility."

Elizabeth was becoming increasingly angry and indignant. And the reason for her sole purpose in seeking him out was no longer a subject she felt she wished to reveal, a confidence she could not discuss with him now. She waited for him to answer, and when none was forthcoming Elizabeth decided to leave. His countenance was suffused with colour and the obvious suppression of yet more bitter proclamations seemed to emanate from every pore.

"I will see you at dinner, Mr Darcy. And if you have no further instruction as to how I must conduct myself at the dinner table under the eagle eyes of your aunt and those of your good self, I will take my leave."