Mumbo Jumbo (25 page)

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Authors: Ishmael Reed

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BOOK: Mumbo Jumbo
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Moses laughed. Man, the way people are into animal and vegetation rites and calling everything that moves a spirit, I would be the buffoon of Egypt restoring something as arid as that. The present mysteries, although frowned upon by the aristocracy, including my mother, are extremely popular with the masses. Why there would be revolution. The Specter began to fade-out when Moses reconsidered,
I must play this Book! I must find it!
He had developed a real thing about it.

Wait. Wait. Of course I will do what you say. How do I go about getting this Book?

You have to talk trash and feed her.

What is that? Moses said recognizing this as ancient dialect that would have to be revealed to him.

Set told him what he meant by these things and after Moses had gotten it all down he returned to Jethro’s ranch looking like a new man. The next day Jethro was sitting on the porch, chewing on some herbs and swinging in a hammock he had made for himself. Some of the old red-eyed Black men from the hills were gathered about the master playing their stringed and percussion instruments, cowbells, mouth harps, calliopes.

Moses seemed like he was trying to tiptoe away when Jethro stopped him because by now Jethro knew that he was being used.

Where are you going, son? Koptos?

The men ceased playing their instruments. It became so quiet you could hear the crickets for it was the crepuscule.

Aren’t you taking Zipporah with you, said this man, his face a dark wood, his grey hair blue in the early twilight.

I’ll… I’ll er return for her before I go to Egypt, Moses said.

The men returned to playing their instruments. Jethro stopped them. He rose and addressed his son-in-law.

If you get it out of her it will be useless to you; only a few things about converting rods to snakes; simple
bokor
tricks, the rest will be so awful that you will wish you had never known The Work. Son, she’s in that Aspect of herself with this Moon and you won’t be able to receive the better side of her Book…

Look, leave me alone. Silly old man out here in the backwoods. How dare you talk to me that way. I’m a Pharaoh, or soon will be 1.

Moses jumped on his horse as tears came to Jethro’s eyes. As he was about to ride away Moses rode to Jethro’s porch where all the men were assembled and he dropped “a couple of bucks” on old Jethro.

Here’s the copyright fee for the junk you taught me, he said sarcastically.

Jethro took the dollars and flung them at Moses who rode off into the night.

He wouldn’t listen and now he will be merely a 2-bit sorcerer practicing the Left Hand.

It wasn’t your fault, Jethro, you warned him, a friend consoled.

The old men resumed the playing of the instruments.

*
Works of Julian the Apostate.

*
The temperature of the Loa Legba alone is 30,000 degrees.

*
Isis Unveiled,
vol. I, p. 555.—H. P. Blavatsky.

53

M
OSES ARRIVED IN KOPTOS
a few weeks later. There were statues all over the town devoted to the ancient theme of Isis and her child Horus who according to some versions returned and overthrew his father’s murderer, Set. It is also said that Horus was the result of a coupling of Isis with the deceased Osiris. People were wearing emblems of the Mother and Child and their pictures were etched on coins. Moses was directed by a traveler to the Temple of Osiris and Isis. He walked until he came upon the temple outside town. He entered between 2 of its 6 columns. In the main room was a smoking pit, a retainer of sacrificial refuse; a statue of Osiris and Isis, holding the child Horus; and friezes depicting Sea Fights, the mysteries: Thoth, Nephthys, Horus, Anubis, Osiris the Eater of the Dead armed with two knives, Osiris Khenti, Amenti, Lord of Abydos and others. There were the animal-shapes: crocodiles serpents birds and rams. The colors of the rooms were green blue and yellow. Grains were scattered about the floor. The room was littered with tom toms pipes and drums. The air of funk was being dispersed by burning incense. It had been quite an afternoon. Several pigmy kings of about 4’ 10” had danced all afternoon intermittently, leaping into the air. Moses went into the kitchen and munched on some cereal that had been left in some ritual bowls. He drank some wine; he went past the dining room and into the bedroom of mysteries which was covered with pictures of male and female genitalia. Fatigued from traveling, Moses lay down on the bed and went immediately to sleep. At about 2
A.M.
he awoke to someone running her hands through his hair and kissing him. It was Isis in the Petro aspect of herself. She was dressed in a scarlet see-through gauzy gown and covered with the odor of a strange perfume. He had never smelt anything so intoxicating to the brain. Her hair was giant blackbird feathers, her eyes blazing.

He would have to be careful. There were stories of mangled bodies carried through the air in the cruel beaks of giant birds. Men “bleeding like hogs,” wandering about the temple senseless at dawn. There were tales of her victims condemned to traveling the world. Headless, pitiful men who brought the plague to the cities.

I will give you what you want if you give me what I want.

She was so fine that if she dived down the abyss Moses would have plunged in after her. Moses was sweating as she removed her gown and began to make love with him. Moving her thighs about his legs, running her hands across his penis.

Well, Moses thought, as he responded to her caresses, I only hope the bird handles me gently.

Suddenly she leaped to her feet, her prominent firm black breasts swinging, her hands on her hips.

What have you brought for me?

Moses removed from his satchel everything Set instructed him to bring: brightly colored scarfs and liquors, jewelry and delicate chickens for her to eat. She handled the scarfs and tasted the liquor. Moses, when he saw her delighted expression, thought that he had passed the test but she hurled the things to the ground with 1 gesture.

That isn’t enough, she said, returning to the bed and lying next to him. You must talk to me. Baby, please talk to me.

Set knew his sister all right and Moses began to talk to her the way the Osirians talked to her in their rites. He told her how much he loved her and that he would die for her. Cut his throat swim in a river of thrashing crocodiles fight lions for her pussy. He said that he would cuss the day he was born if he couldn’t have it and that he would walk all over Egypt crying like a baby. He said that he would gouge out his eyes and dust off the feet of all the dock workers in Egypt, jump off a cliff and lock himself in a cave for the rest of his life. And every time Moses would say another lie Isis would moan and sigh and whimper and purr like a kitten as Moses’ hand moved down and touched her Seal. He fished her temple good. She showed him all her rooms. And led him into the depths of her deathless snake where he fought that part of her until it was limp on the ground. He got good into her Book tongued her every passage thumbing her leaf and rubbing his hands all over her binding.

When he was through he had gotten it all down. All down. Had it down pat. He left the goddess in slumber as he rose, collected his gear together and then set out for Egypt.

Well, Moses announced to the populace that he would give a concert with music and songs better than the Black Mud Sound, which was dying rapidly and played only by a few old fools in the hills. He said that this would be a dignified concert and that everyone would have to leave them old nasty-assed animal fetishes and “rattlers” and all these other “flesh-pipes” back home and that there would be no savage dancing. Don’t be bringing none of that silly shit to my gig, Moses said. I’m the 1. For once music wouldn’t just be used as a background to dancing but he would be a soloist and no 1 in the audience would be allowed to play a whistle or beat a drum or rattle a tambourine. The Osirians were furious. They knew this to be an Atonist trick and decided to disrupt the concert.

Well, the night of the concert the people were herded into the concert grounds. (Non-attendance was equated with treason.) Moses began to play Jethro’s songs but they weren’t coming across like the way they had at the old man’s fireplace. They sounded flat, weak, deprived of the lowdown rhythms that Jethro had brought to them. An applause sign was placed up and Moses received applause. A man who didn’t go along was taken outside and beaten with flails and crooks. From a box seat, Thermuthis and her expatriate friends applauded loudest of all; 1 Greek said he would return to Greece and announce that Moses sounded even better than Osiris must have sounded himself. Moses then played the songs of Jethro with the words but his voice sounded feigned, his mimic of Jethro’s dialect phony, and at this point some grain was thrown up on the stage and people were imitating snakes by HIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGG. That corner of the park was beaten until blood streamed down the aisles.

Well, during the intermission Moses went back stage and his Atonist supporters, ass kissers who traveled with him everywhere he went since his return to Egypt, were drinking beer and told Moses how good he was and began to pat him on the back. Moses knew something was wrong. He was told by 1 of the ushers that fights were breaking out in the stadium and that they would have to call for the Army if the violence got out of control.

Don’t worry, Moses said, I will next do the songs and dances I learned from The Work, the sacred Book, and that way the people will rejoice and love me and young girls will follow me everywhere.

Well, Moses went on stage and began gyrating his hips and singing the words of the Book of Thoth, and a strange thing happened. The ears of the people began to bleed. Some of them charged the stage and tried to get at Moses but the Atonist thugs beat them back. 1 Osirian priest could no longer take it. He and several others knew what Moses had learned and knew how it was using him.

Moses couldn’t understand. Why hadn’t the rites and the words and the dances congealed? Why hadn’t the contagion broken out? Why weren’t people talking in strange tongues and having happy convulsions?

Moses examined his guitar. Something was wrong. But then the Osirians rose from the rows they occupied and began blowing their whistles and the beautiful sounds filled the air. They didn’t know The Work that Moses knew, but in his hands it wasn’t doing him any good anyway. The people began to relax. Removed instruments of their own they had smuggled into the park and began playing them along with the Osirians who were marching toward the bandstand playing the instruments. The people began to dance. Moses couldn’t stand it.

Arrest those men, he said as the men came closer to where he stood and began to mount the steps. 1 Osirian—a Black Osirian, a crocodile wrestler known by his friends as “The Hunter”—lunged for Moses but the Atonist thugs surrounded him, stabbing him and making him bleed and then stomping him while he was down until he lay on the floor dead. Seeing this, the whole audience charged the bandstand and Moses was whisked away by some Atonists. People began stoning the royal chariots as they raced for refuge in the Palace. Looting and the killing of Atonists went on all night.

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