Murder Between the Worlds: A Between the Worlds Novel (23 page)

Jess reached out and stroked her hair, “Are you sure you are well enough now?”

“Less dizzy, yeah. This is going to take a long time to get the hang of, I think,” she said, climbing to her feet with their help. As soon as she touched Jess’s hand she felt his emotions flooding back in.

Crap.
she thought, worried.
That’s not right, with my shields fully up at most it should be a vague feeling. What the hell did I just do to myself?

“Don’t push yourself,” Jess said, concerned. Allie decided that she shouldn’t tell them about her problems shielding now. They were freaking out enough and it was obvious that empathy was something they had no real understanding of, so it wasn’t like they could offer any help anyway.

“I have to. We have to find this killer and I can’t be a distraction to you-“she stopped, her breath catching. “Come on, we need to get back to the house, now.”

“What is it?” Zarethyn said alarmed by her sudden urgency.

“I got totally sidetracked feeling guilty about…” she glanced at Jessilaen. “And then zapping myself. Anyway, I wasn’t thinking–he said the dream wasn’t a dream. I was picking up on something, the emotion from the victim. It can’t be the place, because I’ve never seen that pace before or I would have recognized it. I felt like the person was calling me, pulling me to them, so it must be the person. Someone I have an emotional connection to, like he said.”

Zarethyn looked grim, “Someone else has been killed.”

Allie shuddered slightly. “I’m afraid so. But I have no idea who. I couldn’t see them clearly–I couldn’t even tell you if it was a man or a woman. It was a clearing in the woods, boulder shaped, sort of like an altar–the person was tied to it, and there was someone else there, hurting them–and candles around the perimeter, marking the boundary of a ritual circle. The circle was blocking me I think…I don’t know. I couldn’t reach them, and they kept pulling at me.”

“Stop, Allie. Enough,” Jess said forcefully. “Don’t put yourself back there again. We will go as swiftly as we may back to your home and start by checking to see that all your housemates are safe. Then we can work out from there, until we find whoever this may have been.”

She took a deep breath, feeling her heart racing. Zarethyn looked thoughtful, “It may not even be someone you knew personally. You have devoted yourself entirely to reading the grimoire and memorizing its contents over the last few days. Perhaps that created an emotional connection to the ritual itself.”

“Is that possible?” she asked, finding the idea comforting and unnerving at the same time.

“I do not know, but it seems no more or less likely than anything else at this point,” he replied.

“Come on my love; let us go” Jess said, urging her down the hall, “The sooner we know what is going on the sooner you will have some answers.”

“I just hope my answers help your investigation,” Allie said, realizing that for the first time being called “my love” didn’t make her stomach twist.

****************

Zarethyn accompanied them back to the house, as did Brynneth, meaning that Allie was crammed in the back seat with two of the Guard. She hadn’t looked forward to dealing with the physical proximity of anyone else. Since dropping all her shields and knocking herself silly she kept getting ghostly impressions from anyone within a few feet of herself, no matter how much energy she put into her shields. However sitting between Jessilaen and Brynneth, with both of them radiating concern, was actually comforting. She tried hard to block them out at first but eventually gave up when it became clear that it was futile.

Once she stopped fighting it she found their emotions were indeed helping her feel more refreshed, and while she couldn’t stop finding that disturbingly similar to the Dark Court beings that fed on emotions, she also couldn’t deny that she was obviously not doing them any harm or even noticeably effecting them in any way. Unlike the beings she knew of from her childhood who fed off of emotional energy and drained their victims in the process she seemed to be absorbing their emotions like a plant taking in sunlight, taking what was there without diminishing it.

As they came around the curve in the road she immediately knew bad news was waiting. A marked police car was parked in front of the house along with the unmarked car that she’d gotten used to Riordan and Walters driving. She looked away, resting her head on Jess’s shoulder, trying to grasp the last moment before she had to deal with whatever this was, but all the Guard were assuming the worst and the emotional tone from both Brynneth and Jess had turned tense and grim. She fought to get her shields back up as fully as possible, and found it easier now that her energy level was better. After a moment she managed to block both of them almost entirely.

I am really going to have to think about how much I’m being influenced by other people’s emotions
, she thought, trying to distract herself.
Up until now I was operating blind, just letting myself go with the flow, but now that I know I can’t keep letting myself act because someone else feels a certain way.

The car stopped at the end of the line of cars and Allie had no choice but to get out when the Guard did. She felt a growing sense of dread as she crossed the lawn towards the house, following the Guard who were walking in formation. She was certain the official approach was to prepare for whatever they were about to learn. They walked up the steps to the front door and she felt a rising sense of panic. The last time she’d felt this way was the day she’d returned from work to find the police and ambulance here after her grandmother had collapsed. That thought only increased the feeling of foreboding.

They walked in the door and Allie could hear Bleidd yelling, his voice furious.

“I had nothing to do with any of these murders and certainly not…” he cut off abruptly as soon as he saw the Guard.

When they walked into the living room she saw the two Detectives standing near the windows, Liz sitting on the couch clutching a tissue, Bleidd in front of the fireplace, and Jason sitting on the loveseat, his eyes red-rimmed. She knew then, and the moment she knew her reconstructed shields collapsed and she felt all the outside grief rushing through her. She felt her breath catch, her head dropped, and for an instant everything went gray; she thought she might pass out. And then nothing. Emotional flat line.

She looked back up to see Jess looking at her with real concern. He and Brynneth both broke ranks and came over to stand on either side of her; Jess pulled her in to his chest as if he were shielding her from a blow, but she felt numb. She stood stiffly in his arms, her mind blank. Brynneth reached out, his hand gentle against her neck, and she noted the healing energy in a detached way.

“Is she going to pass out?” Liz asked, sniffling.

“I’m sorry, Ms. McCarthy.” Detective Riordan sounded like he meant it. “I hate this part of the job. Officer Lyons–Syndra–was found dead this morning. It looks like our killer.”

She felt herself nodding. The Detective frowned, slightly “I know how upsetting this must be for you. All of you, of course, but you were close friends with her.”

Allie nodded again, her eyes focusing on the line of cars out the window. Walters spoke suddenly. “You should know they found her body in the parking lot of your store. I’m sorry. She was a good Officer”

Of course they did, the killer wanted to make sure I knew it was supposed to be me, and he only took her because he had to,
Allie thought numbly.

Riordan shifted uncomfortably. “It looks like we need to rethink the direction we were going in with this. We have a witness that saw two people dumping the body, early this morning–Rick and I got the call and got there within 20 minutes. She hadn’t been dead for very long-less than 12 hours.”

Liz got up abruptly, and walked over to Jason, grabbing his hand and pulling him up with her. “We don’t need to hear this. And I don’t want to know. She shouldn’t hear it either. It’s bad enough we just lost our friend, we don’t need the gory details.”

“She’s been helping on the case,” Walters said, trying to sound reasonable, “I’m sure it’s hard to hear but if we’re going the wrong way with what we’ve been thinking we need to get on a new track really quick now. This guy’s killed 2 cops, counting that Elven Guard, not to mention 4 girls, and if we still need her help she’s going to have to tough it out.”

Liz looked furious, but when Allie didn’t move, she gave up and dragged Jason out of the room. Allie heard their footsteps going up the stairs and a door slamming.
Is this still the dream? Maybe I’m still sleeping,
she thought. Jess spoke into her hair, “Can you listen to this? Or do you need a moment to grieve your friend?”

His voice washed over her like water, and she did not respond. He looked sharply at Brynneth who was frowning. Walters spoke again “We don’t have time for grief right now.”

“You are being cruel Detective,” Jessilaen said.

“And you’re thinking with your…”

“Rick!” Riordan cut him off quickly, before turning back to the elves placatingly. “We’re all upset right now and emotions are running high. But we need to get this figured out before this gets any more out of control. If this is a group instead of an individual, that makes a big difference for this investigation.”

“You are certain her death was caused by the same killer?” Zarethyn asked. “The time is wrong and Officer Lyons doesn’t fit the victim profile.”

“Maybe you were all wrong–or she was–about the timing and the victims being not human. They all looked pretty damn human to us.” Walters said, regaining some of his normal belligerence.

“Same M.O.” Riordan said wincing slightly before anyone could respond to Walters. “She was raped and cut up, her throat slit, then…”

Allie realized she was going to throw up and moved with a speed that only those desperate to reach a bathroom can have, dodging out of Jess’s loose hold and away from Brynneth’s hand. She shot down the hall, ignoring the shouts behind her, and skidded into the dark bathroom, managing to slide across the tile on her knees and reach the toilet just as her stomach reversed itself. She knelt there, retching long after there was nothing left to throw up.

Jess came in and crouched behind her, holding her hair and rubbing her back, and in desperation she extended her shields out around him, letting his emotions fill her space. It helped, enough that she could stop throwing up and catch her breath as the toilet flushed.

Vaguely she heard raised voices arguing somewhere else, but she didn’t care. She felt broken and lost, and she could feel her grief like a physical thing, threatening to consume her. She clenched her jaw tightly, feeling a keening wail rising up in her throat and afraid if she started she’d never stop. Jess’s voice finally penetrated her overwhelming reaction, riding on the current of his love and worry.

“I am so sorry, my love, my heart, what can I do to help you? Tell me, talk to me…”

She turned, swallowing hard, “Water. Please.”

He did not move and she was surprised when a hand offered a small paper cup of water. She looked at it for a moment, not comprehending and then recognized the cup as one of the disposable ones that were kept stacked on the bathroom counter, and a moment later that the hand belonged to Brynneth. She took the cup with shaking hands and drank, ignoring the burning in her throat. As soon as she was finished she collapsed back against Jess again, feeling the keening in her chest.

Jessilaen looked helplessly at Brynneth, “I do not understand this.”

“I saw her…being tortured…”Allie forced the words out, swallowing hard, “she was trying…to reach me…I couldn’t…but I saw…in the dream…I
saw
it…”

Jess stroked her hair, “Breath Allie, just breath.”

“I feel like…I’m going…to start…screaming…and never stop,” she gasped.

Brynneth also reached out then, so that she was pressed between the two Guards, and she could feel his concern along with Jess’s. She latched onto the emotion as another source to help ground her, and was able to calm down slightly.

“That’s better. I feel a little less like I’m coming apart at the seams now.”

“You’re picking up on our emotions?” Jess guessed.

Allie nodded then admitted, “I can’t shield for crap. Whatever I did at the Outpost, when I dropped my shields and fried myself, I really screwed something up. I can’t keep my shields up and I keep getting all kinds of outside stuff filtering in.”

She swallowed hard, not sure if the water was going to stay down, “I knew on some level it was her, I think, but I didn’t want it to be. When we came in and I realized, and it was like in that moment, I lost all my shields again and then everyone else’s grief went right through me and everything went numb. And then Riordan was talking about what happened and I suddenly realized that was what I saw and I just snapped.” She swallowed hard again “And then I couldn’t get my shielding back up anywhere near enough to block things and it was all just a swirling mass of horrible feelings. You both being here, touching me, I can feel your emotions and it’s soothing. I feel much more grounded.”

“Jessilaen you said something similar to this happened before, after Aeyliss’s body was found.” Brynneth said.

“Yes,” Jess said, resting his cheek on the top of her head, “she was upset to the point of despair then, but nothing nearly as extreme as this.”

Brynneth contemplated the idea for a moment. “I do not know what you did to yourself by dropping all your shielding at the Outpost; it may be that you temporarily burnt out your own defenses or weakened your ability to protect yourself. Or you may have been blocking your own ability on an unconscious level until now and being forced to acknowledge it called it to the fore.”

He spoke directly to Jessilaen. “It seems that she may be very open to outside emotional influences when she is sleeping and also when she is in an open emotional state. When she is conscious and in control she seems to keep her shields up at a higher level that blocks out both the good and the bad. The last time you said she reached out to you and afterwards she was able to block the emotions of the other Guard and separate herself from the despair that had seized her?”

“Yes,” Jess agreed.

“And Tharien said she can use emotional energy… interesting.” Brynneth nodded to himself. “It may be then that she uses the positive emotional energy to rebalance from or recharge from extreme emotional distress.”

“Great, except that it looks like negative emotional energy knocks me flat on my butt. That’s a pretty huge problem, isn’t it?” Allie asked looking at Brynneth.

“Only as long as you are fighting against the energy of those emotions, or allowing them to overwhelm you.” He said gently.

“You think I can change how I react to it?” Allie found it easier to focus on discussing her struggle with negative emotions than to remember why the negative emotions were there at all.

“I believe you find comfort in emotions that are more pleasant and you reject or fight against those that you consider frightening,” he said.

She nodded, “You may be right, but it’s not something I think about. It’s like a reflex.”

“Even reflexes can be changed, with effort.”

She took several deep breathes, focusing on grounding and centering. It was a children’s exercise, something her mother had drilled into her as far back as she could remember, but one of those things that it was easy to get lazy with. Eventually she felt more balanced and carefully brought her shields back up; they still felt different than they had been before she’d dropped them at the Outpost, but they did feel more solid. Even with both elves in physical contact with her she was able to block them out, and that was progress of a sort. “Okay, we need to get back out there, before Detective Walters decides we’re in here having a ménage à trois.”

Both elves looked blank at the unfamiliar term, which seemed ironic to her, and Allie rolled her eyes.

“Never mind, we just need to get back out there.”

“You should rest,” Jess said, as she struggled awkwardly to her feet. “There is nothing to accomplish if you push yourself to collapse.”

“Honestly I don’t even know how I can help with anything at this point. They don’t think what I’ve been saying so far is right and I burned the only evidence we had to support what I’m saying-“

“Why would they question your word?” Jess said, genuinely puzzled.