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Authors: Steve Demaree

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“If we move the letters
around and add a ‘C,’ we could have ‘color,’ for whatever that is worth.”

“I’d think ‘color’ would
be a wasted word. It doesn’t give us anything, Cy. The Colonel didn’t write in
complete sentences, so if he wanted to direct us to a certain color, I think
he’d use that color as one of the words.”

“I think I agree with
that. So, let’s go on to the fourth word. We could have ‘sloe,’ which is a
word, but not one the Colonel would use here, or ‘lols.’”

“The first one could
also be spelled ‘lose or ‘sole,’ but I don’t think either of those is our word,
either.”

“What else do we have?”

“Well, there’s always
the arrow. Any idea what that stands for?”

“I’d say it’s trying to
point us in the right direction, and right now I think the right direction is
lunch. What say we grab something to eat and tackle this later?”

“I make a motion that
nominations cease.”

“I second the motion.
Meeting adjourned.”

 

+++

 

 

Chapter
Seventeen

 

 

We left the Blue Moon.
As I drove we discussed what to do next. Eating supper wasn’t an option. Should
we confront our local suspects, or should we hightail it to my house and solve
the puzzle. The fact we could solve the puzzle while seated and interrogating
suspects meant lots of steps and standing on our feet didn’t weigh on our
decision. I felt good about our decision until we neared my house. A vulture
loomed ready to strike her prey. She even had a rat to fetch her catch.

Lightning veered into
the driveway, rather than strike a pedestrian. I stopped the car, stared
straight ahead. With my hands shaking, or appearing to shake, I slid my Hershey
bar from my pocket, only to find that I needed my knife to slide between two
touching almonds. I wondered if I should roll down my window, in case the knife
slipped. I sliced a morsel and plopped it into my mouth. I continued to stare
straight ahead.

“Cy, there’s a nose
pressed against your window.”

“What can I do about it?
The windshield wipers only remove scum from the front. Do you want to roll your
window down and see if she wants to lie across the hood?”

“I doubt if she’d get
close enough to the wipers that they would swipe her.”

“No, but I could hit the
gas and then hit the brakes really quick.”

“But then you’d have to
clean all the mess up out of the driveway.”

“No, remember, I pay a
boy to do that.”

“Wouldn’t he report it?”

“Remember, Lou, we’re
cops. I’ll tell him that she had a gun, but the impact knocked the gun so far
we’ll never find it.”

The two of us shared a
laugh. Some cops think of things they would never do. I couldn’t help thinking
that God would give me indigestion or something because of my thoughts.

“Well, Lou, let’s get this
over with. Should I send the Welcome Wagon home with a copy of the puzzle so we
can keep her out of our hair?”

“Just give her a copy of
an eye chart, and tell her not to come back until she’s solved the code. We can
let her know that she’s helping her country.”

“I thought what we have
is an eye chart.”

“It seems that way.”

“Well, let’s get this
over with.”

I opened the door
quickly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Miss
Humphert. Was that your knee? I thought you were farther away. You know what
they say. ‘Objects in the mirror are closer than they seem.’”

“Oh, that’s okay, Cyrus.
I read about how policemen are supposed to help ladies in distress. Maybe you
and your friend can come over and nurse me back to health. Maybe you can do
therapy on my knee.”

“I’d love to Miss
Humphert, but in all my busyness, I’ haven’t had my leprosy shots yet.”

“Oh, Cyrus, you’re so
funny. Isn’t he funny, Twinkle Toes?”

“Miss Humphert, you
might refer to him as Twinkle Toes, but his name is Sgt. Lou Murdock.”

“I meant my dog, but of
course I could call
him
Twinkle Toes, too.”

“I must be sure to let
the guys on the force know that from now on Sgt. Murdock is to be known as
Twinkle Toes II. If I know the guys, they’ll be delighted to know that. Well,
we’d like to stay and chat, but we’ve been cautioned against spending time with
rabid women with dogs. Maybe another time?”

“Absolutely, Cyrus.
Maybe you can come over tonight after your friend leaves. You know, check on my
knee and see if it’s okay.”

“I’m afraid I can’t, but
I might send Twinkle Toes II over before he leaves. And I would do something
about that knee, if I were you. I read where it helps if you embed your body in
concrete. I cannot remember if you immerse your body in concrete from the neck
down or the neck up. Try either or both. I’m sure you’ll see a difference.”

I rushed off so quickly
that Lou was left with Heloise Humphert. He felt her hot breath on his face,
looked up to see that he alone faced her. He barely escaped her clutches as she
grabbed for his shirt.

He was my friend. He
hadn’t done anything bad to me that day, so I refrained from locking the door.
He yanked open the door and lunged inside.

“What were you trying to
do to me, Cy?”

“Just wanted to make
sure that Thelma Lou is the one for you. I wanted to give you some options.”

“Don’t ever give me that
kind of option again.”

Lou’s body shook until
he’d used his teeth to rip open a bag of M&Ms and downed the whole package.
Still unsure that he’d survived his scare, he plopped down on the couch until
he’d digested his candy.

After Lou recovered from
his brush with death, he struggled to his feet and tiptoed through the
quicksand to the dining room table, where he plopped down in a chair.

“Well, Lou, if you’re
sure you’d be more comfortable here, rather than next door, shall we get
started?”

“Sure, Cy, but where do
we start? I was twenty-one when we first started to work on this puzzle, and
now I’m retired.”

After some back and
forth discussion, we looked at what we had.

 

EAMC

FIRST

ROO

SLO

 

“Just as I remember it,
Cy.”

“Yeah, me, too, Lou. I
was hoping the puzzle fairy had stopped by and filled in the blanks.”

“And we’ve already used
our clue for the day. Does that mean we should stop until tomorrow?”

“No, Lou, let’s press
on. Surely we can come up with another word before supper. Let’s look at it
with the other letters added.”

 

EAMC

FIRST

LREOO

LLESO

 

“Lou, I think it helps
to look at both of these together.”

“You do?”

“Well, not really, but
they say it helps if your teammates think you have confidence in your abilities
and theirs. It can’t be too tough. We know that two ‘L’s’ and an ‘E’ go in
these two words. One may go in each one, or both go in the same word. Maybe we
can get enough to go on so we can come up with another word, and then all we
have to do is place those other four letters.”

“None of which we know
what they are.”

“Thanks, Lou. I
appreciate your contribution. Let’s try them one letter at a time, and see what
we get.”

Something was telling me
that both “L’s” were not in the same word, so I suggested we try an “L” in the
third word.

“Well, which do you
like, Lou? ‘Loor,’ ‘Loro,’ ‘Rolo,’ or ‘Rool?”

“Well, whichever one it
is, Cy, it takes at least one more letter. Let’s try a letter with each.”

We began with “Loor,”
and it wasn’t long before we came up with “Floor.” Then we realized that there
wasn’t a book of the Bible that began with “F.”  We agreed to tackle the other
letters to see if any of them led us anywhere. Fifteen minutes later, we
slumped. Defeated again.

There was only one thing
to do. I stumbled to my fridge and selected the Hershey Almond bar that I felt
would best increase my brain power. I carefully unwrapped my treat, studied it.
Each Hershey has a different configuration of almonds. I wasn’t sure that the
almonds in that bar were aligned right, so I rewrapped it, returned it to its
cold environment, and selected another. Again, I unwrapped a bar, studied it.
This time the almonds gave me a different message. The message said, “Pick me
up, turn me sideways, and eat the almond in the middle.” Just in case you’re
ready to send me to the funny farm, I don’t think the candy spoke to me, but I
did feel the urge to turn the candy sideways, instead of eat it the way most
people devour a hot dog. Because I gingerly held the candy, I was able to rip a
large bite from the side without breaking the bar in two. I had accomplished my
mission. I rewrapped my candy. As I savored my delicious treat, I looked up at
Lou, who was busy playing Chinese checkers with his M&Ms. Each time he
jumped one, he plopped that colorful treat into his mouth.

I sucked on my chocolate
until I was afraid that continuing to do so might cause me to swallow the
almond and choke on it. Then, I quit and waited for Lou to jump the rest of his
M&Ms.

Something must’ve
worked, because shortly after Lou and I finished our eyes wandered from the
paper where we’d written down our clues to the slips of paper than had fallen
out of the Colonel’s Bible.  We saw the paper with the arrow, and almost
immediately we knew. There wasn’t a book that started with “F,” but there were
plenty that started with “E,” and an arrow inserted there would eventually
point two dumb policemen to the next letter of the alphabet.

I remember what I had
said earlier about discovering another word before supper, looked at my watch. 3:34.
We weren’t used to eating supper that early, but whatever. We came to our
senses, realized that it was too early to eat supper. Reluctantly, but at least
we realized it.

“Well, Lou, whatever it
is we’re looking for is on the first floor of the Colonel’s home. Now all we
have to do is figure out what it is and what it has to do with finding out the
murderer’s identity. Since no one has a room on the first floor of that house,
I doubt if the other two words give us the murderer’s identity. Maybe they will
tell us how he or she got into the library. What’s the matter, Lou? You look
down.”

“Oh, nothing, Cy. I was
just thinking, what if we solve this only to find that it leads us to another
puzzle?”

“If so, I’ll crawl to my
next-door neighbor’s and die.”

It took a few minutes
for it to sink in, but we’d learned something else, other than the third word.
We’d learned that the letters “LSEO” were in the fourth word, in some order or
another. “Lose” is a word, and so is “Sole.” But “First Floor Lose and “First Floor
Sole” didn’t make sense. Besides, we had four more letters that went in either
the first or fourth words. More than likely some of them went in each.

We fiddled with letters
for the next two hours, got nowhere. Frustrated again, it was time to leave our
puzzle to the next day.

 

+++

 

I dropped off Lou at his
apartment and drove home. Just before turning onto my street, I stopped, donned
my night-vision goggles, turned my headlights off, and coasted for home. Just
before I got to my house, oncoming headlights blinded me, and almost caused me
to hit a tree. I ripped off the goggles, turned on my headlights, and realized
that my assailant was my next-door neighbor leaving. The varmint was in her
lap, looking out the driver’s-side window. Even when that woman leaves the
neighborhood, she creates havoc. I veered into my driveway, pulled to the back,
and ran for the back door before the leech could finish her U-turn and catch up
with me.

Chapter
Eighteen

 

 

Saturday morning arrived
a little too soon. Unlike some people, Saturday is no different than any other
day to a homicide detective in Hilldale. If Lou and I are in the middle of an
investigation, we usually work, even on Saturday. Sometimes we sleep a little
later on Saturday, because others do, and some of those others frequent the
Blue Moon at a later hour than usual. Neither Lou nor I wanted to start our day
by throwing someone from our stools. I made a note to ask Rosie if we could put
a cage around our stools, a cage where Lou and I had the only keys. Then, I
scratched my mental note. I was sure Rosie would have quite a comment about
that.

I seldom bothered Sam on
Saturday. Besides, Lou and I had enough to keep us busy solving the puzzle. I
hoped we’d solve the puzzle by Monday, then, if we still didn’t know the
murderer’s identity, we’d begin to question our suspects on Monday.

I stepped into the
shower and began to think about our normal Saturday morning routine, the
routine we’d miss that day. It felt funny to call it normal, since it had only
been our routine for a couple of months. But, for the first three plus months
of the year, after we left the Blue Moon full and ready for another day, Lou
and I stopped at Scene of the Crime Bookstore to visit with our new friends and
select another title or two to devour during the coming week.  We’d learned
which of the Crime’s customers have the same reading tastes as we do, got
suggestions on new titles to read, and discussed books all of us had read. I
continued to daydream until I felt the cold water permeating my body. I
shivered, then stepped out of the shower and dried my ample body.

 

+++

 

I looked up as Lou
opened Lightning’s passenger side door. I noticed the look on his face and felt
like driving away before he could climb inside. Was it possible my next-door
neighbor had sneaked over to his apartment, clawed her way inside, and bitten
him? Almost as soon as I thought of that, I dismissed the thought, because if
my neighbor had done that, Lou’s mouth would be wearing a scowl and have
milky-green saliva dripping from it, rather than be upturned into a smile as it
was.

“What happened to you,
Lou? Did someone we put behind bars have a change of heart before he died and
leave all of his money to you?”

Lou continued to smile,
but said nothing.

“You set some new Wii
records?”

Again he remained
silent.

“You’ve been bitten by
the Cheshire cat?”

“It’s a smile, Cy, not a
grin.”

“So, you can talk. How
about telling me why you’re so happy this morning?”

“Today’s clue, Cy.”

“Okay, out with it, and
then maybe both of us can smile.”

“How’d you get to be a
lieutenant, anyway?”

“Watch your mouth, lowly
Sergeant.”

“Cy, today’s clue is
‘smile.’”

“That’s it. Does it mean
we solve the case today? Or possibly when I go home today there’s a ‘For Sale’
sign in my next-door neighbor’s yard? I know, Lou. You only get the messages. You
don’t interpret them. Well, smile, you’re on Candid Camera.”

“I loved that show. You,
too, Cy?”

“Well, it was funny at
times. A lot funnier than this puzzle we’re trying to solve.”

I realized that all our
chitchat was keeping us from breakfast, so I unleashed Lightning and lurched
forward to the Blue Moon.

No sooner had Lou and I
ordered than I realized the significance of that day’s clue. I turned to Lou
and smiled. He smiled back. I continued to smile, but Lou’s face returned to
normal. I knew he didn’t know, and he didn’t know that I knew.

I was still smiling when
Rosie returned with our drinks.

She sat them down and
then turned to the good sergeant.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Well, Rosie, it’s like
this. Tomorrow is Sunday. I told them at the home that it’s not a good idea to
give Cy a double shot on Saturday, but they wouldn’t listen. Now, look at him.”

“A double shot of what?”

“They won’t tell me.
It’s just something special for overworked lieutenants.”

“Well, if you find out,
let me know. Some days after work I could use a double shot of something.”

Rosie walked away, and
Lou turned to me.

“What’s wrong with you,
Cy?”

I merely smiled at him,
reached my right forefinger into the air, and pushed it down, like I was
clicking a camera. Lou still didn’t get it. He thought I’d lost it. I hadn’t.
I’d found it.

 

+++

 

As soon as Lou and I
were perfectly ensconced in the car, Lou turned to me and asked, “What’s wrong
with you, Cy?”

I smiled at him. Seeing
that my smile didn’t turn on any lights in his head, I enlightened him.

“Remember the clue this
morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Remember the letters in
the first word on our puzzle, ‘mace’ or ‘came.’ I almost didn’t get it, because
of the way we pronounce, “came,” but I think our first word is “camera.” That
uses two of the other letters, and there are books of the Bible that start with
‘R’ and ‘A.’ So, could it be that our first three words are ‘Camera First
Floor?’”

 “I think you’ve got it,
Cy. And it sounds like the last word should be a place in the house, but we’ve
named all the rooms.”

“And I don’t think the
camera the Colonel referred to is the one outside the library. Anyway, we’ve
already checked that camera.  There must be another one no one knows about.
Let’s try again. Let’s visualize the Colonel’s house. We enter the house and
there’s the hall. We didn’t even mention the hall before, because we don’t
think of the hall as a room. Like cabinets, the staircase leading upstairs, the
hall closet.”

“That’s it, Cy. Closet.
‘Lose’ with a “C’ before it and a “T” after. Lose and closet don’t sound alike,
either. That’s one reason we had trouble coming up with this one. I think we’ve
solved the Colonel’s puzzle. There’s a camera in the first floor closet. Now,
how many first floor closets does the house have?”

“If I remember
correctly, two. One in the living room and one in the hall. My guess is it’s
the one in the living room, because that’s one way the Colonel entered the
library. Maybe someone else discovered his secret.”

“But remember, Cy.
Someone still had to get inside the library. How could someone get in there and
kill the Colonel?”

“I’m just hoping that
the camera holds a picture of our murderer. It would be devastating for us to
find the camera, only to find that the murderer discovered it and removed the
film.”

We were almost to my
house when we discovered this revelation. I was so happy I tooted Lightning’s
horn.

“What’re you doing, Cy?
Signaling to your next-door neighbor?”

I craned my neck and
made like a periscope to see if  I could spot the enemy. She was nowhere to be
seen. I pulled into the driveway, sprang from the car, and dashed into the
house. It was time to call Louie Palona, Saturday or not.

I called his house, a
suspicious male voice answered.

“Good morning, Louie.
Did I ever tell you that you’re my favorite gadget man?”

“I am sorry but Louie
has gone to Italy for the month. Please feel free to check back with him in
June.”

“Good try, Louie. But
this is a matter of life or death.”

“Your life and my death,
Cy. What’s so urgent that you’re calling me on Saturday?”

“Remember the Colonel’s
house. Well, there’s a camera there that might have a picture of the Colonel’s
murderer.”

“Cy, I already checked
that camera. Remember?”

“No, this is another
camera. A hidden camera.”

“And you want me to meet
you there and give it a going over, too?”

“It shouldn’t take long,
Louie. After we find it.”

“You mean you don’t know
where it is? Why don’t you find it, then call me.”

“No, no, Louie. It’s in
the closet. It shouldn’t take long to find it.”

“Okay, Cy. I’ll meet you
there in thirty minutes.”

Lightning made tracks
for the Colonel’s house. Louie would really be put out with me if no one was
home and we couldn’t get in. I had a key to the library, but not the house.

Lou and I arrived at the
house, and luck was with us. The front door was open with a robbery in
progress. Just kidding. Trish was in the living room and ushered us inside. I
asked her who was home, and she said that only herself and her grandmother.
Everyone else was out for at least the morning. As we were talking, Martha
shuffled into the room.

“Oh, hi, Cy, Lou. What
brings you here? Do you have some news for me?”

“We might have a
breakthrough in the case. I’ve another man joining us in a few minutes, and I
need to ask you and Trish to go to your rooms until we’ve checked something.
I’ll come and get you when we’ve finished.”

Neither the young woman
nor the older one gave us any trouble or spewed a barrage of questions. Both
complied with our wishes and withdrew immediately to the stairs.

“I don’t think it’ll
take long,” I called out as the two women mounted the stairs.

I heard a car pull up
outside and looked out the window. Louie didn’t waste any time getting to us. I
opened the door and waved to him. He waved back, and then reached into the car
to retrieve some equipment.

I knew Louie liked to
spend his Saturdays with his family, as often as possible, so I didn’t waste
any time..

Quickly, I showed Louie
the closet, then stepped aside so that he could see what he could find. Lou and
I waited until Louie finished.

“Sorry, Cy, but I
couldn’t find anything. Could it be another closet?”

“It could be, but I’d
like to try something else first. Let’s step back into the closet.”

“That’s a small closet,
Cy. I’m not sure I want to be in it with you.”

“I promise not to tell
anyone.”

“Very funny, Cy. Okay,
what do you know that I don’t?”

I led the way, stepped
into the closet, and twisted and pulled the bracket in the back. The wall slid
away.

“Before you check
anything else, let’s take a look at the passageway. It’s possible that the
Colonel’s clue meant go through the closet to the passageway. He just didn’t
have time and enough books of the Bible to spell it all out.”

Louie looked at me as if
my brain were in its sleep mode.

It took a few minutes.
The camera was well concealed, but we found the panel that hid it. The wood fit
so well together that Louie didn’t notice a thing until he got within two or
three inches of the panel. Once he discovered it, he slid his fingers around
until he found the place where the panel unscrewed and lifted out. Behind the
panel, Louie found a camera that made him slobber with envy. Louie called it
state of the art. I called it a small, well-concealed camera.

Within minutes, Louie
had printed a series of pictures, all of which were of the Colonel, or a
long-haired man I’d never seen. Not only had we discovered who killed the
Colonel, but we had discovered how.  By studying  a   series   of  pictures, 
we followed an unsuspecting long-haired man as he entered the passageway
through the closet, took out a blowgun of some sort, slid a poisonous dart
inside, created an opening in the library wall, inserted the blowgun into the
opening, and blew the dart. The assassin continued to watch until he was sure
his quarry was dead. Then he yanked a string until the dart slid back through
the hole in the wall. He reached into his pocket, removed a plastic bag, and
carefully slid the dart into the bag. Then he recovered the hole he had made in
the wall, turned to face the camera he knew nothing about, checked to make sure
the coast was still clear, and left the passageway. Because I knew what had
taken place on the other side of that wall, I shed a few tears. Louie withdrew
to allow Lou and me a few more moments of mourning.

After a couple of
minutes, Lou and I stepped out to join Louie. Louie reentered the passageway
with us to see what else he could discover. While Louie searched the wall
hunting for the wood that covered the hole that was large enough to admit a blowgun,
Lou and I selected one picture and mounted the stairs to see if either of the
two women could identify their loved one’s murderer. I wasn’t ready to let
anyone know how the murder was committed, just in case someone who lived in the
house knew about the passageway, had committed the murder, and would later give
himself or herself away. See, even though we kept referring to the murderer as
a “he,” we knew that the murderer could have been either a man or a woman.

When we returned with no
more answers than we came with, we discovered that Louie had found a
well-concealed place where the murderer had used some type of saw to remove two
round pieces of wood, and then after they had served his purpose, he returned
them to their original places in the wall. Lou and I looked through the top
hole into the library. The hole, cut just below a shelf that held books, looked
right across the library in front of the desk, to the door on the other side.
The hole below stood just above a series of books. Obviously, the murderer had
cut one hole to see through, and another one to insert his blowgun, or the
similar instrument that he used. He or she had made two trips, one to cut the
openings and leave the note, the second to commit the crime.

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