My Bonny Light Horseman (30 page)

I go up to them and ask, "Why have you not yet been fed?"

"
Pardon,
Sir," says Sergeant Boule, sheepishly, "but others have been cutting in front of us. They say it is their right. We don't know what to do." I notice burning looks in the eyes of some of my plowboys.

My steam increases. "Their right, eh? Now what would you do if you were in your village and marauding soldiers came in to take your women, your girls? Eh? What would you do?" I hear some growls from the ranks. I want to go up to the first of the sneering bastards who cut in front, a Corporal of Grenadiers, and stick my shiv up his nostril and ask him how his mistress would like him if he comes back from this war with two noses, neither of them very pretty. But I don't. Not yet.

"Steady, boys, your time will come. Stay here, be patient, and you will be fed. But your time will come. Count on it," I say, calming myself, and, I hope, them. "Sergeant, after the men have eaten, meet me at the Quartermaster's tent over there, and we will see them more properly fitted out. Try to assemble them in some order."

"Yes, Sir."

I stride over in the direction of that Quartermaster's tent, signed requisition form in hand, to see what can be done in that regard, when I hear some laughter, derisive guffaws, coming from a table set up in front of a large tent. There are four officers seated there, and I turn to see that they are all Grenadiers, Elite Infantry—a major, a captain, and two lieutenants. They were playing at cards and now they are all looking at me, and yes, they are laughing. I turn to face them.

The Major reclines back in his chair, a cigar clamped in his mouth. I note that, in spite of various blockades and embargoes, nobody around here seems to lack a supply of that vile weed.

"Can you smell manure, Montrose?" asks the Major.

"Indeed I can, Major Levesque," replies one of the lieutenants. "It seems to be coming from that pack of farmers over there."

I know my men can hear this. A glance back shows their heads drooping in shame. This is not what they had signed up for.

I also know that General Charpentier is listening as well. This is it, then.

I hit a brace, put on the Look, and ask, "You have a problem with my men and myself, Major?"

"Only with the stench, boy," answers this Major Levesque, grinning around his cigar smoke. "It looks like you've got some manure on your boots as well."

"Very well," I say. "I cannot bear that insult. I will meet you, Sir, tomorrow morning at dawn. You will name your Second, and your choice of weapons.
Adieu.
My Second will meet yours shortly to make the arrangements."

"What?" exclaims Major Levesque, shooting to his feet. "You are calling me out, you insolent pup?"

"Yes, Sir, I am," I say, as calm as I can manage. "If you are not afraid. If you are afraid, you will keep your damned mouth shut as regards me and my men!"

He considers this and then throws his head back and laughs till tears trickle from his eyes. Recovering himself, he flings his cigar off to the side and then lunges forward, grabbing me by the neck, catching me by surprise before I can jump back out of reach.

"We in the Guard do not fight boys!" he snarls, bringing my face up to his so I can smell the tobacco and the herring he had for breakfast on his breath. "Just what do we do with insolent boys in the Guards, Lieutenant Depardieu?"

"I don't know, Sir?" asks the lieutenant. "Shoot them?"

"No, Sir, what we do is
spank
them!"

With that the brute sits back down in his chair, bends me across his knee, lifts his open hand, and then brings it down hard on my rump.

Yeeeooow!

I start to wriggle and struggle, but I know it will do no good. What I do is tighten my buttocks so I don't present too girlish a tail and I grit my teeth and I take it. I do not cry out. I just endure it.

After he gives me twelve, he throws me over into the dust. He holds his arms up to his friends and accepts their applause and reaches for another cigar and calls for a drink.

"Hot work, that! Let's have a drink, men!"

Spanked! In front of everybody! Spanked like a child! This cannot stand, else I am lost!

He almost makes it back to his chair before I am up with my sword drawn with the point at his throat.

"If you will not meet me on the Field of Honor, coward, then you will fight me right now.
En garde!
"

"What? You speak to me thus?" He gets to his feet and goes for his sword. "You go to Hell, boy!"

"I will probably go to Hell, Sir, but not just yet, and I do not think it will be you who puts me there, since you can't seem to even get your sorry sword out of its scabbard!"

Major Levesque roars out something unintelligible and his sword flies out, goes over his head, and sweeps down at me.

I manage to just parry it and skip back out of the way, my sword held in Fourth Position, waiting for his next attack.

"Stop!" shouts General Charpentier from his table. He is convulsed with laughter. "Stop it, I say. Good sport all around, but I order you to stop. Gentlemen, this is our fiery new messenger from the United States, Cadet Jacques Bouvier. They must grow them very fierce over there,
n'est-ce pas?
"

"He is lucky he is not a dead cadet," mutters Major Levesque.

I lift my sword again and put the point on a level between our eyes.

"I told you to stop it, Cadet," warns General Charpentier, no longer laughing. "You will now apologize to Major Levesque."

I really had no intention of actually fighting him, as I know he would have killed me in another instant. But it worked out. They saw it, everybody saw it, and my men saw it. And it was good.

I lift the hilt on my sword to my mouth in salute to the General, and then to Major Levesque.

"I am sorry if I gave offense, Sir."

"Humph!" says Major Levesque, slamming his sword back into its sheath and sitting down at his table again. "Deal," he says, to the others, and turns away to again play at cards, ignoring me.

I do an about-face and go back to my men, my face still reddened with the humiliation of the beating. One of them, Laurent, seeing my burning face, speaks out of turn.

"Do not worry about it, Sir. You stood up for us. We saw that. Everybody saw that."

I hear someone come up behind me. It is the Captain who had sat at Levesque's table. He claps me on the back. "Well done, Sir. I am Captain Bardot. Come take some breakfast with me. The Officers' Mess is right over there. I hope you will be able to ... ahem ... to sit down and tell us something of America."

And so the job was done. I am now a member of the officer corps.

The men are better turned out now—uniforms fit, boots are on and shined, and each man has a musket on his shoulder. Sergeant Boule has them back in line.

The breakfast was excellent and Captain Bardot's company proved most kind. I was introduced to the other officers of the Sixteenth and, I believe, well received. Now we shall have a bit of Inspection and then on to the drill.

Each of the men wears a heavy felt white shako for head covering, as well as white pants with knee-high black gaiters, and a blue coat with white lapels and tails trimmed in red worn over a white vest. Over it all are two crossed white belts that hold a rucksack to house the soldier's personal gear, if he has any. On top of that sits his bedroll wrapped up in his blue gray greatcoat, and below it hangs his bayonet on a hook, as well as a cartridge pouch. This, on each of my Clodhoppers, hangs empty.

I walk up to each of them, do a left face, look the man over, say nothing, do a right face, step to the next man, do the same thing again, and so on down the line, till I come to my drummer, Denis Dufour. He is now in a uniform similar to the others, except that his coat is orange. Drummers and other unarmed men wear different colored uniforms so that enemy soldiers, if they are inclined to show mercy, will not intentionally shoot those without weapons. The English do the same. Sometimes it works.

"Well, Drummer Dufour, you are smartly turned out," I remark. "If your girl back home were to be here now, you would not lack for kisses."

He has his drum strapped to his waist and holds his drumsticks in his hands. He blushes mightily at what I say, but he is pleased, I think.

I step out in front of the others.

"The next time I hold Inspection, I will have something to say to each of you. For now, I will only say that you all look ... acceptable. But I will expect better. Tomorrow I'm ordering all of you to shave before breakfast. You may grow your mustaches, if you wish, as it is said the Emperor likes them on his men. I require you to be clean and your gear in good order. Is that clear? Good. Now we shall drill."

I walk back and forth in front of them, my hands clasped behind my back, and intone, as a teacher would, "As Fusiliers, there will be various formations you will be told to get yourselves into. You are now standing in the formation that is called the Line. Simple enough, isn't it? All you have to do is remember the man to the right and to the left of you, and you will form up correctly. This formation is effective when you are facing skirmishers, or attacking a line of artillery. I tell you this in passing so you will know, but your officers will order you into these various formations as suits the conditions of battle. You do not have to think about it, you just do it."

Another pause, as I collect my thoughts, then, "We will now form the Square. Clodhoppers ... ready ...
About-Face!
"

The thing is accomplished, though Michaud's musket barrel knocks off Pannetier's shako as they turn about, but he recovers quickly.

"Three steps Forward
March!
"

They manage to do that without further disaster.

"About-
Face
!" Again it is done and they are facing me again.

"First Rank, Guerrette, Chaisson, Dubois, and Pannetier. Move up to the line." The line I drew yesterday is still faintly visible, and the men go up and put their toes upon it. Good. "Now Michaud, Bertrand, Lambert, and Bouchard, line up behind them, and the rest of you behind them.

"You see the wisdom of it? The shorter men are up front and the taller behind. When it comes to a battle, you will be shooting over each other's heads, do you see? This formation is very effective against cavalry, and remember, good infantry
always
beats good cavalry. Hannibal knew it, Caesar knew it, and the Emperor knows it, too."

They haven't got the foggiest idea of what I am talking about, so I stop talking history. "
Bien.
We will now drill in this formation. Sixteenth Fusiliers, Bouvier's Own, Forward ...
March!
"

And we drill and we drill.
By the Left Flank, March! By the Right Flank, March! Company, Halt! Right Face! Forward March!

We drill and we march over hill and down dale. I take them far away from the main encampment so they are not further laughed at. Hours and hours of it, till I know they hate me to their very marrow. We drill all morning and well into the afternoon.

Since I'm a sailor, no one would expect me to know very much about land maneuvers, but they'd be mistaken. While it's a fact that I was not specifically trained in military movement, I did manage to pick up most of my knowledge of land tactics from watching Randall Trevelyne drill his militia troops back in Quincy. Of course, it's also true that most of the time I was there, I delighted in making raucous fun of him as he marched his tangle-footed troops about. Sometimes I even hoisted a broomstick over my own shoulder and marched right along with them. I did soak up a lot, though, certainly enough to get along here. And I do know how to load and fire a gun, but I did not learn that on land—I was drilled in that by my very able Master-at-Arms, Peter Drake, back when I commanded the
Wolverine.
And as for the rest of it, did I not see our Royal Marines drill every day when I was aboard a King's ship? I certainly did.

At noon, we march back into the encampment in good order to see if we can get something to eat and maybe get some powder.

Once again, I am back in front of General Charpentier, heels together, chin up, shako held under my left arm.

"I believe they are ready to fire their muskets, Sir."

The General looks at me closely. "I did see you up on that hill marching them about." There is a long glass next to him on his table. I thought this morning that I might have caught sight of a reflected glint from something like a long glass. "You think they will not hurt themselves? We can keep them digging latrines and graves, you know."

"No, Sir, they will acquit themselves well as soldiers. That is what they came here for," I say, "and it is said that we ship out ... er ... march out in three days, so I do not have much time with them."

"Your information is good, Cadet. Very well, Monsieur Dupont, issue the cartridges."

"Here is the Musket Drill," I say, holding up a white paper cartridge in front of my Clodhoppers, their bellies full and newly marched back out onto a far field. "This is called a cartridge. You each have one in your hand. If you feel it, you will discover that it has a hard, round thing at one end. That thing is called a bullet. Watch me now."

I have taken Sergeant Boule's musket and hold it up. "Open the pan, and bite the bullet out of the cartridge and hold it in your mouth. Like this." I put the corner of the thing between my teeth and rip out the bullet and tongue the lead off to the side of my mouth so I can still talk.

"Put the hammer on half cock. Now prime the pan." I tap some powder into the little pan next to the hammer that holds the flint. "Close the pan, pour the rest of the powder down the barrel, then spit the bullet down in after it. Take your ramrod and jam it down. Remove the rod, full cock the hammer, present arms, and aim, then wait for the order to fire."

I do all that and put the musket to my shoulder. "On the order, you will fire." I aim at a tree not far off and fire, tearing a bit of bark off the tree's trunk.

"Good shooting, Sir!" enthuses Denis. I cast him a gimlet eye—I do not need a critique on my marksmanship from my drummer boy. He looks properly abashed. "Sorry, Sir."