My Brother’s Keeper (16 page)

She chose
Bridesmaids
. I’d managed to steer her clear of anything that looked like it might resonate with today’s events. We were at the hilarious scene where the bridesmaids are all vomiting on the white carpet of an expensive bridal outfitters when we both startled at a noise outside. Sunny leapt from her couch to mine and leaned into me, one hand on my shoulder.

‘Dad!’ she whispered, her fingers trembling.

I made steady eye contact with her, motioned her to get behind the sofa and made a quick dash to the utensils drawer where I’d seen a heavy marble rolling pin. I knew better than to draw a knife. Knives can too easily be turned against you with devastating results. There was a scrabbling sound at the door handle. I mimed ‘phone’ to Sunny, thumb and little finger
extended. She responded with an expansive gesture indicating that she had no idea where her phone was. Mine was plugged into the charger upstairs. The landline would by now be sitting on Aaron Fanshaw’s desk at the Wellington police station, waiting for him to listen to Karen’s phone message. Excellent. I motioned for Sunny to duck down behind the sofa and readied myself to hit the intruder with the rolling pin. The door opened.

Half an hour later and we’d forgiven Ned for the fright he’d given us. He was good at eliciting forgiveness, probably because he’d had plenty of practice at it. But when I came back into the room to find Sunny making pancakes with him and doubled up laughing, I decided he had more than paid for scaring the hell out of us. Sunny adored him and we spent a happy couple of hours laughing, playing charades and eating. She didn’t even mention the pancakes not fitting her picky white food-only criterion. He most definitely had a way about him, this Irishman. At midnight Ned said he had to be off, but not before gallantly offering to sleep on the sofa so as to ward off any late-night bakers who might decide to break into the house, looking to steal the impressive marble rolling pin I’d brandished at him. When I assured him we were fine, he packed a bag of overnight necessities and then stood staring at the side table with a look of bewilderment.

‘That’s very strange, now where’s the telephone gone?’

‘I couldn’t figure out where the tape went so I took it to Wellington, remember?’

‘Oh, that’s right. So you did. Well, I’ll just go up the road and grab a taxi off the rank then.’

‘What tape?’ Sunny asked, her back to us as she searched for her own phone between the sofa cushions. Ned and I exchanged a look. Neither of us wanted to say the tape with the message from your mother, recorded moments before she opened the door to her killer.

‘The tape on the phone needed replacing so I took it to the manufacturers in Wellington,’ I lied.

‘Found it!’ Sunny declared, holding her phone in the air triumphantly. ‘Okay, I’m going to bed now. Goodnight, you two.’ She pecked me on the cheek but hesitated in front of Ned, as awkward as the fourteen-year-old she was. Without any hesitation, he kissed her on both cheeks in the French manner and, though she flushed, her eyes were bright as she bounded up the stairs; a different girl to the one she had been a couple of hours before. I felt ridiculously grateful to Ned and when he repeated the cheek kisses with me I returned them with one in the Diane Rowe manner — the lips on lips version. It was a long sweet kiss that made us look at each other when it was finished. His smile mirrored mine. We had crossed a line into something else and we knew it.

T
HURSDAY
29 N
OVEMBER
2012

I
have the dream again. The one of the car drifting down through the murky water thick with weed. Again it’s me inside the car. I’m in the front seat. My knobbly knees jut out from beneath the lace edge of my dress. The seat belt is tight across my chest as the car plummets down. Water bubbles up through the floor. Already it’s above my ankles, making my feet swollen and wobbly. The water is desperate to get into the car, cascading down from the tops of the windows, squirting out of the dashboard. The metal creaks and yaws with the pressure of the water trying to force its way in. The supermarket trolley, draped in long fingers of river weed, is buried in the silent grey mud beneath me. Falcon’s hands are around my neck. He’s crying. I take his hand in mine. Sticky, chubby little fingers. I
look into his face, all gluey with tears and snot. It’s not Falcon. It’s Neo. ‘I don’t want to die,’ he says. ‘Don’t let me die.’

I startled awake to the sound of mynahs arguing in the tree outside the bedroom window. A distinctively Auckland sound; one of the sounds of my childhood. Sunny was curled up in bed beside me, her knees pulled up tight to her chest, her chin tucked into her neck. She looked heartbreakingly vulnerable. I hoped my dream hadn’t leached across and infiltrated hers. She must have plenty of nightmares of her own without mine adding to them. Slowly I extricated myself, careful not to wake her, and crept downstairs to make coffee.

I’d bought white bread for toast from the corner bakery and found some butter and marmalade in the fridge. I was pouring the coffee when Sunny rushed in, clutching her phone. ‘Neo’s totally freaked out. Dad’s at home and he and Salena are having this, like, huge fight. I’m going to get him. You can’t stop me.’

I flicked off the coffee and grabbed my jacket. ‘Neo rang you?’

‘I don’t care if it means I have to see Dad. I’m getting him out of there. He’s totally terrified.’ She held out her hand. ‘Give me the car keys.’

I pocketed them and made for the door. ‘Stay here. I’ll get him.’

She paused, unsure whether to argue with me, but I was already at the door. ‘I’ll bring him back, Sunny. It’ll be okay. Stay here.’ I closed the door before she insisted on coming with me.

It took less than ten minutes to get to the house. Justin’s BMW was parked across the pavement. Anton lounged in the
driver’s seat, window down, elbow triangled across the frame. He watched me through the side mirror until I reached the gate, then his eyes lifted to stare directly at me. From the pavement the sound of Salena yelling could be heard all the way from the back of the house. Anton’s eyes were on me as I pushed the gate open and made my way towards the sound.

They were locked in a scuffle. Salena, red-faced, was trying to wrench her arms free, but Justin pinned her forearms against her hips and advanced on her, pushing her back towards the fridge. He kept his body close to hers so she couldn’t get any leverage. Over his shoulder Salena spotted me as I came through the open patio door. She increased her efforts.

‘You won’t get anywhere near her ever again and if you try I will kill you!’ Salena yelled at him and then set about trying to do just that.

I spotted Neo curled in a wicker chair in the corner of the room, his eyes squeezed shut, his hands over his ears. His eyes sprung open in fright from my touch.

‘It’s okay, Neo,’ I said. ‘I’ll sort this. Are you alright?’

He nodded. His sticky, tear-stained face brought my dream back to me in a rush.

‘I didn’t do anything,’ Justin said, struggling to keep Salena’s arms pinned. Her back was against the fridge, Justin’s body pressed against hers, so Salena did what any self-respecting street fighter would do. She kicked his shins.

‘I don’t ever want to see you again. You disgust me,’ she yelled and spat directly in his eyes. Instinctively, Justin let her go to wipe away the spit. With her arms freed she slapped him, a real roundhouse wallop across the side of his face. It made
an impressive whip-crack sound that seemed to surprise them both. It must have hurt.

I closed in on them. ‘Stop! Stop now, you two, before things get really ugly.’

Justin turned at the sound of my voice. Salena took that as an invitation to punch him on the jaw. His head swung round from the impact. Instinctively, he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her hard against the fridge.

‘Don’t do that again, Salena.’ It sounded like a last-chance warning growl an animal makes before it attacks. Calm and very threatening. Most people would have backed off but it seemed to have the reverse effect on Salena.

She pushed her heated face up to his. ‘Or what? You’re going to hit me? Go on then! Do it!’

Justin’s fist pumped. I took a breath and possibly my life in my hands and squeezed in between them. The acrid smell of Justin’s sweat enveloped me. Facing Salena I held my arms up, hands open in the classic gesture of surrender. It effectively put my body as a block between them. I felt Justin pull away, leaving me pressed up against Salena’s body. Her breasts seemed incredibly hard and, well, there. I wasn’t used to grappling with breasts. I did my best to ignore them.

‘Don’t do this, Salena. Come on, don’t be stupid.’ I was definitely stronger than her and she didn’t fight me but her body was rigid with anger.

Justin headed purposefully towards the hall, then paused, his voice shaky. ‘I just came to get my things, that’s all. I’ll be out of here in ten minutes.’

Salena pushed against me, wanting to have another go at
him. I blocked her.

‘Go cool off somewhere, Salena. Come on. Let him get his things.’

Justin was paused awkwardly in the doorway. ‘I don’t want him touching anything of mine,’ she yelled across the room at him. ‘And don’t you go anywhere near Sunny’s bedroom! You hear me?’ I was pretty sure the whole neighbourhood had heard her.

‘Listen, you two. I’ll stay here, okay?’ I looked to Justin for agreement. ‘Until he’s got his overnight stuff.’

Though his mouth worked, he nodded an agreement. I looked pointedly at Salena.

‘Okay. Okay,’ she said and grabbed her clutch purse from the table. ‘I’ll go to Courtney’s. Down the road,’ she added for my benefit. A long manicured nail was directed at Justin. ‘I will be back in fifteen minutes and you’d better be completely gone.’

Justin shrugged an agreement, his jaw clenched. Both of them seemed to have forgotten Neo, tightly curled in the wicker chair, his eyes darting from one parent to the other.

‘I’ll take Neo with me,’ I said, hoping to jog their memories. Neither responded, though I knew they’d heard me.

‘Just make sure this prick doesn’t take anything of mine,’ she said and left through the patio doors without so much as a glance towards Neo.

Justin watched her go, muttered ‘Crazy bitch’ and made for the interior of the house.

I knelt down in front of Neo and put my hands gently on his, which were capped over his ears. ‘It’s okay, Neo. They’ve stopped. It’s okay now.’ Slowly he lowered his hands. The dark
rings under his eyes contrasted with the pallor of his skin. A strand of fine hair was stuck to his cheek by a smear of jam. He clutched his mobile phone in his chubby little hand like it was his only hope of rescue. ‘Why don’t you go and wait in your mum’s car.’ I handed him the car keys. ‘It’s parked right outside. I’ll be with you in a minute and we’ll go to my place. Sunny’s there. She’s waiting for you.’ He nodded and used his sleeve to wipe his nose. ‘You sure you’re okay?’

‘Yep,’ he said, his voice croaky. ‘Is my mum okay?’

‘She’s fine. She’s gone to have a coffee with a friend. She’ll be back soon.’ He nodded again and unfolded himself from the chair.

‘Text Sunny that you’re okay. Tell her we’ll be there in fifteen minutes.’

‘Okay,’ he said. He was already texting with one hand as he opened the back door with the other.

Justin was in the bedroom, throwing clothes in a travel bag haphazardly. ‘It’s just my stuff, alright? I’m not touching anything of hers.’

I perched on a stool in front of the dresser. He looked a wreck. His bottom lip was swollen and his jaw bloomed from Salena’s punch.

‘I didn’t come here to police you, Justin. I came to get Neo. Sunny was worried about him.’

He glanced nervously at me. ‘Is she okay?’

‘Not really. No.’

He stared at the contents of the bag as if it didn’t make sense. It didn’t. Half a dozen shirts and no pants or undies. But he wasn’t really looking at his packing.

‘I didn’t do anything. This whole thing is bullshit. She needs to know that.’

I gave him my most cynical look. He glared back at me.

‘I would never take photos of Sunny undressed! Jesus. I’d never go anywhere near her like that. The whole idea disgusts me! It wasn’t me who took the photos.’ He wrestled another half a dozen shirts out of the wardrobe. ‘But I’ll tell you this: when I find out who did, I’ll kill the bastard!’

‘Stay away from her, Justin.’

‘I’m not going anywhere near her. Actually,’ he said, and paused to yank the bag’s zip closed, ‘it’s probably better if I don’t see her again.’

I tried to study his face, but he kept his head averted from me. There was something odd about his behaviour. Something I couldn’t quite get a handle on.

‘If you are innocent, how can that be right for Sunny?’ He didn’t answer, just hefted the bag onto the floor.

‘What happened in Wellington, Justin?’

He turned to me, hands on hips. ‘What?’

‘Friday night when you went to Wellington to see Karen. What happened?’

‘Nothing happened.’ He walked into the en suite, talking sullenly over his shoulder. ‘I went to ask her not to meet Sunny. I thought it was too soon. I wanted Karen to wait until she was a bit older. She’s just a kid’

‘And you gave her a photo of Sunny?’

He reappeared zipping up a toilet bag. ‘I hoped it would be enough for Karen. For a while anyway. I mean, I understood she wanted to know what her daughter looked like and all. She
was only seven last time Karen saw her. But I didn’t think Sunny was ready for it. I was convinced of it. I’m her dad.’

The statement hung in the air between us. I had to fight to suppress the bile burning into my stomach lining. Yeah, he was her dad, alright. The same dad who, meanwhile, was taking pornographic photos of her. He’d heard it, too, I think, and kept his head down as he pushed the toilet bag into a top pocket of the travel bag. I thought he’d finished and was surprised when he started up again.

‘But then, when I talked to Karen, I realised I was wrong. She’d paid her debt for … what she did. She’d changed. She told me she was going to a Christian commune in the States. I told her to take Sunny with her. Travel a bit. Get to know each other.’

I snorted in disbelief. ‘I don’t believe you. Why would you go from not wanting them to meet, to suddenly deciding Sunny should go off overseas and live with her.’

There was something he wasn’t telling me. He looked at me, his mouth working, but then he clamped it tight and hefted his bag to the floor. The moment had passed. I gave it one more shot.

‘Karen hired me to find out if you were molesting Sunny.’

He shrugged himself in a jacket. ‘You’re lying. I don’t believe Karen would ever think that of me.’ He seemed surprisingly calm and confident about that.

‘Okay, it’s true she didn’t actually say you were molesting her,’ I admitted. ‘But she did say she wanted to make sure Sunny was okay — that she was safe.’ His eyes flicked from side to side as if he was reading text. ‘And she was right; Sunny wasn’t safe with you, was she?’ A flicker of confusion crossed his face. ‘Is
that what happened, Justin? Karen threatened to go to the cops and tell them what you were doing? Is that why you killed her?’

He was following his own thoughts and answered me by rote. ‘I didn’t kill Karen. Even the cops know I didn’t kill her. Ask them.’

‘Salena said there are other charges pending. It’s just a matter of time.’

‘That’s not about Karen’s death. It’s more of this shit. They’re going to upgrade the charges against me for the photos of Sunny. I’ve never even seen those photos before. The cops tried to make me look at them but I wouldn’t do it. The first one was enough for me. It made me sick. I’d never do anything like that to Sunny. Karen knew that.’ I must have been looking at him sceptically. ‘I didn’t kill Karen and I didn’t take those photos of Sunny, but, you know what? I don’t care what you think.’ He yanked up the bag and carried it to the door.

There was only one other possibility. ‘Did you kill Falcon? Is that what Karen had over you?’

He dropped the bag and advanced on me, his face blotchy with rage and didn’t stop until his face was right up close to mine. I stood my ground but I was intimidated. ‘Every fucking day of my life I miss that little boy. I loved my son more than life itself. Nothing and no one can ever fill the hole Falcon’s death left in me.’

We both turned at the sound. It was Neo. He stood in the doorway, mobile phone still clutched in his hand. Justin looked at him. He knew Neo had heard him. I expected him to cross the room to Neo. To put his arms around his son and reassure him that he was the centre of his life. He didn’t. Hoisting the bag
over his shoulder, Justin pushed past Neo and continued down the hall. We listened to him clatter down the stairs, then heard the front door slam shut. Neo was frozen to the spot, staring in the direction his father had gone.

‘Come on.’ I put my hand on Neo’s shoulder. ‘Let’s go see Sunny.’

Neo shrugged my hand off his shoulder. ‘I want to go with Dad.’

As if in response, Justin’s car roared out of the driveway, gravel spitting. In silence we listened to it turn into Jervois Road and then the individual sound of his car accelerating was swallowed up by the noise of the other traffic.

The tears made Neo’s eyes look enormous.

‘Come on, Neo. Let’s go.’

‘Why didn’t he take me?’ he asked plaintively. It was the last thing I expected him to say.

I offered Neo a seat in the front but he said he liked it better in the back. He didn’t respond to any of my gambits at conversation but I heard him pulling stuff out of his schoolbag and hoped he was content enough until we got to where Sunny was waiting for him only a short distance down the road.