My Delicate Destruction: Book One of the Wolfegang Series (5 page)

He ran a hand over his face, took a deep breath and began, “It is a drug that we inject directly into your bloodstream. It runs through your veins, killing the damaged cells, and rebuilding new ones at an unheard of rate. Then, with further injections it repairs and alters your DNA back to normal. You get one injection every week for three weeks. Any more than three injections and the drug will become vicious. It won’t just kill the damaged cells it could kill all of your cells. So you will be monitored very carefully.”

I wasn’t sure how good my odds were, but if they were ready for human test subjects, then maybe it was worth a shot? I wasn’t sure. I glanced over at Kris, but his face was unreadable.

“Here’s the problem. The treatment takes a little over two years to cure at an average cell production rate. In that amount of time the cancer will kill you, before the drug has a chance to do its work. To counteract the cancer, and subsequently giving the drug sufficient time, we would put you in something called suspended animation.” He crossed his arms as he waited for my response. Dr. O’Leary’s face was a mask. He gave no indication one way or another as to what I should do.

“Suspended animation, as in being frozen?” my brother asked. “That sounds like a bad science fiction movie.”

The doctor laughed, but there was no real joy. “That’s true, but with suspended animation you are kept alive by a specially designed fluid that keeps you hydrated and full of nutrition. It can keep you alive for years while the cancer is sufficiently halted enough to let the drug work. It has been specifically created to withstand absolute zero. That way it can still do its job while your body is kept from incubating the cancer.”

“Why haven’t I heard about this procedure?” I asked. It didn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t there be reports about something this momentous?

“This is a very highly classified project that is being funded by the government. They don’t want anything being known until it is one hundred percent successful. There could be mass hysteria and possible repercussions from other countries looking to get this information before we have it perfected. You will all be signing non-disclosures before leaving the hospital about talking to the press and any other forms of media.”

I looked down at my hands. Everything he was saying terrified me. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to take the risk with the government being involved. Although if I were honest with myself, it wasn’t so much the secrets and all the doctor crap that scared me, it was the suspended animation. I’d watched movies, I’d seen the general idea, and I figured it worked pretty much exactly like that, but…no one ever woke up without side effects.

“Does it hurt to be frozen?” I asked, twisting my hands together to keep from tugging at my hair.

“No,” Dr. O’Leary replied. He looked so earnest when he was talking, like I was just a child. Maybe I was. “We put you under anesthetic before we put you under suspended animation. Then we inject you with the drug. You will be monitored constantly for the first twenty-four hours to ensure there are no complications. Then you will be placed in the cryogen and we will keep watch over you via the life support machine and the computers. In two years you either wake up, and you will be cured,” he paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “Or you won’t, and we will have failed. I’m not going to disillusion you, there is a high risk with this procedure, but the alternative is much the same as the risk.”

Well, when you put it that way. Doctors can be such arrogant pricks, even when they do have a point. Bright side, if I died, it would be in my sleep.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. There was a lot to think about. I had to assess the pros and cons, the risks and the possibilities. It wasn’t a decision I could just make on the spot.

“Let me think about it,” I said.

“Of course,” the doctor replied. “Just try to make haste, the longer you wait, the more your life is in danger.” He stood and handed my mom his business card and left.

Kris came back over and sat on the edge of my bed. No one said anything.

A nurse walked in, handed all of us the non-disclosure forms and checked my IV. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” she asked.

“As well as can be expected,” I replied. Something I’ve heard old people say when they’re waiting to die.

“Well, Dr. O’Leary signed your release papers, you are free to leave.” She slowly took the needle out of my hand, and put a Band-Aid on it, a Hello Kitty one this time. Then she gathered our forms.

“Thank you.”

The nurse left with a quick smile.

Mom started bustling around the room, getting things together and making sure everything was ready for us to leave. She started babbling about how I had to move back home for awhile so she could take care of me. She was basically trying to distract herself as much as possible from the reality of the situation.

My dad came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll stop by your mom’s tomorrow to see how you’re doing, but right now I have to get back to work.” He gave me a hug and then he left.

I looked over at Kris. Our eyes connected and we just sat that way for a while, silently communicating.

Are you going to do it?
He asked with his eyes.

Think it will work?

You never know, it might.

I won’t hold my breath.

A few hours later my mom was tucking me into my old bed and bringing me chicken noodle soup. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t sick with the flu, but I didn’t have the heart.

I waited for her to leave before pushing the bowl away from me. I lay back and stared at the ceiling. I started counting the glow-in-the-dark stars that I had put up there so long ago. It was a habit when I needed to think.

Kris poked his head in the door. “What are you up to?”

I just glared at him. He could be so irritating and he had impeccably bad timing.

“Would you love me forever if I snuck you some junk food?” He asked with a huge grin.

“What is it?” I asked cautiously.

He came in carrying a box of pizza, donuts, and
Kill Bill 1
and
2
. I grinned and moved over to give him a spot on the bed. He flopped down, and opened the pizza box. He took the biggest slice overflowing with toppings, and shoved it in his mouth. He chomped it down in a few bites.

As he started grabbing for a second piece I smacked his hand. “Save some for me.”

He just smiled and got up to put in the movie, a slice of pizza in one hand.

We ended up eating all the pizza, all the donuts, and having a Quentin Tarantino movie marathon that went all night. We fell asleep during
The Four Rooms
.

I woke up to the sunlight in my eyes and the smell of pancakes. I groaned and rolled over so the glaring sun was no longer searing my retinas. I glanced at the clock. It was only seven thirty. I will never understand morning people or how they function.

Kris was still asleep next to me.

“Mom’s making breakfast,” I said.

He just grunted and covered his head with the pillow. I pushed him off the bed. I watched him fumble with the blankets and curse as he got up.

“What the hell?” Kris demanded. He’s not much of a morning person either.

“Mom’s making pancakes,” I repeated.

His eyes widened and he looked excited. Normally mom was a really bad cook. But she could make pancakes and any other breakfast food like nothing I’d ever tasted before. Usually she did it on special occasions. The last time was when Kris finished his last round of chemo and he could eat normally again.

I got out of bed too, and headed out to the kitchen in my sweatpants and a beater tank. Kris followed me. I stopped cold when I saw who was sitting at the table, and he ran into my back.

“What now, Kat?” he grumbled, trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes.

I moved a little to the left so he could get a good look.

Dad was sitting at the dining room table with Kevin, Trent, and Victoria. Mom was bringing breakfast to the table. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have imagined that combination of people sitting down for breakfast, at my mother’s kitchen table. Kris just stared. Finally he waved good-morning, sat down, and started stuffing his face with pancakes. He was so ridiculous. Yet, I was jealous at his ability to be so indifferent.

I sat down slowly, feeling very self-conscious. I put one pancake and some eggs on my plate to make my mother happy. No matter how many times I told her I don’t eat when I first get up, she doesn’t listen. She still gave me that glare so I put a bit more of everything on my plate with a sigh. I felt like I was at an intervention or something.

I sipped at my coffee, suddenly less hungry than usual. Kevin smiled at me from across the table. He seemed to have no problem eating either. Trent snarfed down his food as Victoria inspected her nails. I couldn’t believe she was even up at that hour. It showed how much she cared.

“So,” Victoria said. “We’ve all thought about it and we thought that it would be best if you went through with this experimental procedure.” I love how she just cut through the bullshit. Everyone kind of stared at her. Even Kris stopped mid bite.

“Well,” I paused. I wasn’t quite sure what to say. To be honest, I hadn’t even really thought about it since yesterday. My parents looked anxious and Kevin wouldn’t quite look me in the eye. I looked over at my twin. He actually put down his food his face was dead serious.

“If you end up doing it, so will I,” he said.

I gaped. “Why?”

“Why not? It’s not like I have very many options left either.”

Mom just looked at her hands, and didn’t say anything. She didn’t like to be reminded that her favorite had one foot in the afterlife.

“You really think I have a chance at this?” I asked the table.

“Yes,” Trent said vehemently. “We don’t want to lose you.”

Still Kevin said nothing. Victoria took a bite, but stared me down.

“Okay,” I gave in. “I’ll think about it as a serious option.”

We finished breakfast in an awkward silence. The feelings in the room were so thick it made me nauseous.

I started getting irritated with Kevin. He still hadn’t said anything. So I excused myself from the table, and grabbed his hand to pull him up. I took him out to the backyard and sat down on one of the chairs. He sat next to me, and held my hand in silence.

“What do you think?” I asked.

“I don’t want to be apart from you for that long, but I would rather have you alive and keep you after the two years than to miss out on the time that I could possibly have with you,” he said. “This way I have a better chance of not losing you.”

“I think I’m going to do it,” I whispered. “But I’m scared.”

“I know baby, but I’ll be there when you get out. I’ll wait for you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to,” he assured me.

I rested my head against his and watched the trees sway in the breeze. It was overcast and cold for June, the warm morning disappearing with the sun. My old swing swung back and forth as if the ghost of my childhood still played there. I missed those days, times when I was carefree and innocent. Before my parents divorced, before my grandfather died, and before my brother got sick.

I kissed Kevin’s cheek. “Thank you for being here for me.”

“Of course.” He smiled and softly kissed my lips. His warm hands held my face. I breathed him in. I always felt safe in his arms.

“I have to get things ready then,” I told him. My lips were still resting against his.

“I know, you want to go inside and tell the others?” he asked.

I nodded. “But not yet, can I just stay here with you for a while?”

“Of course you can, stay as long as you need to.”

I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes. I tried to forget my problems and just relax.

It didn’t seem like very much later when I was being shaken awake.

“Kat, Trent and Victoria are leaving,” Kevin told me.

“Okay.” I felt groggy and irritable. I stood up slowly and went back inside. My father had already left without saying good-bye.