My First Love and Other Disasters (15 page)

“What about her?”

“That's nobody,” he says, almost surprised that I mentioned her. “That's just my sister.” And then he shouts to her that we're going to use the court—just like that. She shrugs and starts to walk over toward us.

“Can I have winners?” she asks.

“Hey, Kathy,” Barry says impatiently, “don't bug me. I told you I was going to use the court all afternoon.”

“Can I watch?”

“Oh, for God's sake! Do you have to?”

“I won't say anything. I'm just gonna sit here and watch.”

“Let her watch,” I say, “I don't mind.” Amazing how easy it is when it's not
your
sister.

“Yeah, wait till you see what a pain in the neck she is.”
He says it like she's not even there.

“Is it okay if I move your stuff?” Kathy asks me. She's tough like Nina. You can insult Nina and say anything you want right in front of her, and nothing, she never even gets embarrassed.

“Beat it, Kathy,” he tells her.

“It's a free country. I can stand where I want.” And she puts her hands on her hips and just stands there. I think this kid must be taking lessons from Nina. Now he's the one who's getting embarrassed.

“Hey, Barry, it's okay with me, really.” I jump in, trying to save the situation. “Let her watch.”

“See, even she doesn't care, big shot,” Kathy says, and she really is a pain. I think I'll have no trouble creaming Barry, he's so thrown, but he blitzes me anyway. He's a fabulous player. We rally a few times and you can see he's trying to hit balls that I can return, which is very nice of him, and he's so good that they come in straight and I'm hitting them with no trouble at all, or hardly any. We don't even see when Kathy gets bored and leaves.

After a while we both start clowning around, imitating ballet dancers and ninety-year-old people playing tennis. Then Barry does a zoo thing where he's a monkey and a chicken, and I know it sounds like the dumbest thing but it's absolutely hysterical. I laugh so hard I keep collapsing on the ground. Finally I have to run off the court because if I don't I swear I'm
going to wet my pants—I mean, he is so wild. I think he could be a comedian.

“How about a swim?” he says, coming over to where I've thrown myself down on the grass trying to catch my breath.

“Yes, help,” I gasp and we both head for the pool.

It's terrific being with Barry when he doesn't push all that heavy stuff on me. In fact I laugh more with him than with Steffi even, and she and I spend half the time being hysterical about something or someone. It's as though Barry is an old friend—I mean that's how comfortable I feel with him. I love to have boys for friends but it's always hard because mostly they don't want to be just friends. Too bad.

The inside of his house is even better than the outside. It's all bright green and white, and it looks clean and crisp. I love it. I change into my bikini and head for the pool. It's in the back of the house on a wooden deck facing the ocean. The water is bright aqua and so delicious-looking. I dive right in.

You know how in all the ads the girls look so fabulous after they come out of the water even with dripping hair? Not me. I look like real people do when they're wet, only worse.

Kathy comes out with a friend and we all play some dumb kid games in the pool and have a great
time, chasing each other and diving in and all that. At one point I'm “it,” and I'm tearing around the pool chasing Patty, Kathy's friend, and she's screaming, and I'm just about to grab her when out of the corner of my eye I see a figure. A girl's figure. A great girl's figure and long blond hair, and I stop midair.

“I win! I win!” Patty shouts, and I know with-out looking that I lose and it isn't the game.

“Hi, everybody,” says Gloria, and my heart actually stops for a second and then starts pounding so hard I can hardly hear myself think.

I turn around and look and there she is, looking perfect. Her blond hair catching the sun makes her look like one of those religious pictures where there's a halo of light around the angel's head. Even if I'm going a little too far, still she looks fabulous. Her bikini is a light blue velour that probably matches her vacant eyes.

And right behind her is Jim. What a blow. So that's the special something that came up. It's not that I thought we were going steady or anything like that, but . . . I don't know, I guess I just didn't expect to see Gloria out here. I can hardly bring my eyes up to his face, I feel so embarrassed. He should be just as embarrassed as me except when I do look at him he isn't at all, but he does look surprised to see me.

By now my face is so burning red that all I can
do to save myself is jump into the pool. I dive and I'm in such shock that I do a horrendous bellyflop. Why do I always look bad when it's so important to look good? Anyway, I keep swimming around, stalling for time. I hear Barry calling my name, but I pretend I don't. What if I just stayed here . . . forever? After a while I'd be a curiosity and people would come over to Barry's just to see the girl in the pool. I'd get my name in the
Guinness Book of Records
.

“Victoria!” It's Barry calling me. I'm floating with my eyes closed, but he knows I can hear him, so I turn around and swim toward his side.

“I'm going to put up a barbecue,” Barry says. “Can you stay?”

This whole thing is bad news and I know I should get out fast but I can't. I want to be with Jim, even if Gloria is here too.

“Sure,” I tell Barry. “I'd love to.” And I pull myself out of the water. “It's great,” I say to Gloria in my friendly, outgoing voice.

“It looks terrific but it kills my hair.” She doesn't even sound bitchy like the last time I met her. “I have the same problem as you do,” she goes on. “My hair looks horrible when it's wet.” I was wrong.

“Anybody want a Coke?” Barry asks.

“Yeah, I'll take one,” Jim says, and Barry goes in the house to get them. “How do you like it out
here?” For a second I don't even realize Jim is talking to me. It's like he hasn't seen me since the first day at the pier. Like there was no night on the pier. I guess it's because of Gloria.

“I love it out here.” I play along.

“How's Cynthia?” Gloria asks, and her voice actually is rather pleasant. I wonder why I hate it so much.

“She's terrific,” I tell her. “Really super and I love the job.”

“I'll just bet,” she says, really snotty.

“Where are you staying out here?” I ask, and she practically laughs in my face.

“You have to be kidding. Where do you think I'm staying?” And she looks at Jim and nods toward me and shakes her head like I'm some kind of a moron. Jim doesn't say anything but he looks very uncomfortable. How am I supposed to know who she's staying with? But she obviously wants me to guess, so like a dope I say, “Relatives?” And she cracks up.

“I don't know. . . .” She's full of giggles, burying her head in Jim's chest. “Are you my relative?”

I don't believe it. She's just putting me on.

“Hi, cuz,” she says cutesy-poo-like, poking Jim in the stomach with her little finger.

“Yeah . . . ,” Jim says, blushing a little but still kind of enjoying it.

Unreal! She's not putting me on. She really
is
staying with him! All I can think of is that she's only a year older than me and she's practically living with someone. So what if it's only for a couple of days, that's still pretty wild for only a high school junior. That's all she is, you know, a junior. I'm stunned but I disguise it with a real cool face and a kind of
that's nice, so what else is new
look. I'm not about to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she's blowing my mind.

“Sor-ry, didn't mean to shock you,” she says right into my hopeless see-through face. What I'd really like to do is let her know what her lover boy has been doing before she got here. But I can't because it's not so great for me either. I don't say anything but I give Jim a look like he's a real two-timer. And he reads me so perfectly he takes off. Right into the pool.

I figure since my hair looks horrible already, as Gloria so kindly reminded me, I have nothing more to lose, so I jump in after him. Anything is better than standing there listening to that.

I know that it's rotten for him to do that to Gloria, but I'm the one who feels lousy. After all, it's not so bad for her—she doesn't even know. How could he do that, pretend to be so interested in me when all along he knew he had this relationship with someone else?

I'm swimming around thinking all these angry thoughts and I don't even notice where I'm going so, sure enough, I swim right into his feet. It's always like that with me. I mean, it might be sort of romantic if I accidentally swam into his arms, but his feet? I'm hopeless. Anyway, we both come up out of the water, and he sort of grabs me around the waist and says, “You okay?”

I picked up a mouthful of water that I don't feel like spitting out right in front of him so I just nod my head, okay.

He smiles at me. A private, warm hi-there-honey smile that makes my whole body whoozy. Boy, he just knocks me out. I wish he didn't because I'm beginning to think maybe he's not so great. “Sorry for that,” he says, nodding back toward Gloria.

Maybe he was trapped into having her out. I mean, maybe he promised a long time ago, before me anyway, and now he couldn't get out of it. It could happen that way, you know. I decide that that's exactly what did happen, and I smile.

Mistake. I still had a mouthful of water. Beautiful the way it comes running down from between my teeth and down my chin. But Jim's not turned off.

“Looking good,” he says and starts to laugh. Nice like.
Very
nice. I sneak a look over my shoulder to
see if Gloria is watching and she is. But so what? There's no law against talking, is there? Still, I cool it a little and start swimming around.

After a while we come out of the water and Gloria must sense something because she's really icy to me. Maybe she just plain doesn't like me. That's okay with me. I don't like her.

I head for the bathroom to make repairs on this gross hair and Gloria follows me. I don't actually turn around to see her, but you know how sometimes you can practically feel somebody behind you? Especially if it's someone you don't want to be there?

Barry's sister, Kathy, gives us directions to the bathroom and hands me a blow dryer. Hint, hint.

“Want me to help you with your hair?” Gloria asks me, and I try not to look stunned.

“Yeah, sure, if you don't mind.”

“No problem,” she says. And she plugs it in and starts doing my hair. I'm probably going to end up looking like I was plugged in but I'm lousy at saying no.

“What do you think of Jimmy?” she asks.

“Okay, I guess,” I say.

“That's all? Boy, he'd be crushed to think there was somebody who didn't think he was gorgeous.”

“Well, he
is
very good looking.”

“Nobody knows that better than he does.”

“If you think he's so stuck on himself, how come you're always hanging out with him?”

“Well . . .,” she says. And for the first time her eyes don't look so vacant and she doesn't seem quite so sure of herself.

“ . . . I guess, maybe, I'm sort of stuck on him too.” She waits for me to make a comment but I can't think of anything nice to say, so she goes on.

“A lot of girls are always throwing themselves at Jimmy.” Now she snaps off the blower and looks straight at me. “And he's always nice to them but they don't really have a chance. We've been going together for almost a year now and it's a pretty solid relationship.”

I don't say anything because I don't want to hurt her even if I'm not exactly crazy about her.

“It's tough to keep a good thing going when all sorts of girls are always getting in the way,” she continues. “But he's only human, you know, so naturally he's going to respond . . . sort of. I don't really feel that threatened. Still, I could do without the interference. I suppose if he wasn't so gorgeous it wouldn't happen—but then if he wasn't so gorgeous maybe I wouldn't like him so much.”

All I can think of is that no matter how blue those eyes are or how silky that hair is I'm glad I'm not Gloria.

But I know what she means. Turns out that fancy hotstuff Gloria is hooked even worse than me. Worse because she knows something funky's going on but she's so knocked out about him that she just sticks around and takes it. I don't think I could ever do that. Don't get me wrong, I don't think what Jim's doing is so great either—I mean, seeing another girl while he's supposed to be going steady. Still, it's probably hard for him to break away from Gloria because it's been so long now.

“One time,” Gloria says, and she sounds sort of sad, “way in the beginning when we first started dating, we went to an opening of this off-Broadway play and some guy thought we were movie stars, which freaked us both out. When we told him we weren't, he said we should be and that we made a perfect couple—I mean, we looked so right together, what with the same color hair and all that. Maybe that's not so good. Maybe I'd be better off with someone a little more ordinary. Probably be a lot easier.”

It's like she was talking to herself, so I just sit there quietly looking in the mirror.

“What do you think?” she asks me.

“I don't know. I guess you can't always help who you fall for.”

“Save the Ann Landers bit,” she says. “I meant your hair.” Just when I was beginning to like her a
little she goes back to the old Gloria bitch. “Well, do you like it or not?”