My Heart be Damned (2 page)

“It’s about time we got someone nice. Oh my God, he’s walking over.” Mercy squealed, grabbed my shoulders and then when I pushed her away, she tried to run a hand through her dark, curly hair. “Look! He can’t keep his eyes off you,” she whispered to me, “He’s totally hooked. Oh, you should so go for it.”

“Nah, I’m cool. Feel free to have him.”

“No way, you need to loosen up a bit,
Ams
. And I think he’s just the thing you need,” she hissed.

“Hi,” Sam said, stopping in front of us.

“Hey,” Mercy said back. I smiled.

“I just wanted to say that you were amazing out there,” Sam explained, gesturing to the pitch. “I’ve never seen someone so...graceful.”

“Welcome to Maxwell,” I said lightly. “You’ll meet all kinds of
weirdos
here.”

Mercy elbowed me. “She means ‘thank you’.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Am I going to get your name yet?”

“It’s
Amerie
,” Mercy answered. “And I’m Mercy. Hey – what’re you doing tonight?”

If Mercy’s forward personality had intimidated Sam, then he didn’t show it.

“Nothing. Well, nothing important. Why?”

My eyes widened as I
realized
what Mercy was about to do. I grabbed her arm, pulling her to my side, but she tensed and shrugged off my grip.

“We all go to this place called The Hut,” Mercy elaborated. “It’s the only place cool enough to let our age inside. Anyway, it’s downtown in one of the industrial districts there. Hudson Lane? Ask around, you can’t miss it.”

“And you’ll be there?” He looked directly at me.

Mercy nodded. “Yup. As will the rest of our year, but whatever. We’ll be there, and we’re the coolest anyway.” She smiled a brilliant, white smile and flicked her hair back. “Then you can tell us all about yourself. So, we’ll see you there?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Sam agreed. He gave me one last lingering look before turning away from us. “See you around.”

“Bye!” Mercy called after him. She waited until he was out of earshot before saying, “Well, he was nice.”

I elbowed her again. Hard.

“What was that for?” she protested, rubbing her arm.

“I don’t like being set up on dates,” I snapped.

“Oh, whatever. You need cheering up, and I need a happy friend. We both win. Accept it and move on.”

Chapter Three

Darkness

A huge part of me didn’t want to go down to The Hut tonight. For one, my hair wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go. And for two, Mercy was on some crazy kick trying
to set me up with the new boy.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror for the thousandth time. Tying my hair up wasn’t working, so I slipped the elastic band out and shook my hair down. It curled and bounced just below my bra strap. This would do.

I never wore much make-up. A little bit of bronzer, and some mascara around my green eyes. Eyes I loved, because they reminded me of my mother. And eyes I hated for the exact same reason. I rubbed a bit of lip balm onto my lips, slid into a leather jacket I’d got for Christmas back when we could afford luxuries like that, and jogged downstairs.

The TV was blaring in the living room, and my dad was sprawled out across the sofa, a beer in hand, a bowl of popcorn on the floor. Some kind of cartoon was playing on the TV. Every few moments, he would chuckle, and then shove another h
andful of popcorn in his mouth.

I watched him for a few moments, wondering how protective he’d be over me if he knew what lurked outside, waiting. If he knew what my mum had been training me all my life for, would he be so casual about letting me out at night? Would he worry every second I was out of his sight? How would he feel that every woman past, present and future in my family was burdened with this curse? I shook my head and stared at the wall. It didn’t matter anymore because I’d quit hunting Damned souls. I wouldn’t let the Hunt kill me like it did Mum, and I wouldn’t allow my future daughter to risk her life for it either.

“I’m going out.”

He startled and struggled to sit upright, so he could
see me over the old sofa back.

“Where?”

“The Hut.”

“Down on Hudson Lane?” he asked. We went through this conversation every time I mentioned The Hut.

“Yes, Dad. The location doesn’t change.”

He nodded as if remembering this. “Okay. Well, have fun. Oh, and be safe. I know that you have to travel by Tube, to get there. Do me a
favor
and watch out for the crazies?”

I smiled despite myself. “I can look after myself. But thanks.”

Dad looked as if he wanted to say more, but he didn’t. His brown hair was messy, and his dark cheeks were flushed. I wondered if he’d gone to work this morning or if he’d been too hung over. I was always up and out
of the house before he woke up.

“Where’s Daniel?” Dad suddenly asked.

I shrugged. “In his room? I thought I heard his music playing.”

“Oh.” He stared down at his lap, his eyes narrowed. “Didn’t hear him come in.”

“Okay. If Dan comes out of his room, tell him to come down to The Hut. We’re all gonna be there.”

“You know he won’t,” Dad said.

I ignored him and made my way out of the house. My boots clicked against the pavement as I walked away from my street of rundown buildings and towards the Tube station. Cars sped past me on the dirty and congested street on which I now lived. There was no more private cul-de-sac in a small town filled with perfect rose bushes and book clubs for me. My new reality was a pollution-filled city, where the noise really never did sleep.

I slipped my earphones in and cranked up the volume on my phone. Luckily, The Hut was closer to me than it was to those who still lived in my old town, but my journey was a lot riskier than theirs was. This part of the city was known for the drug addicts, prostitutes, and straight up loons stationed on every corner.

The Tube pulled up to my platform almost as soon as I arrived. I chose a seat by the window, leaned back against the dusty seat padding, and stared out as the city whizzed past me. I loved that most of my Tube journey was above ground. Travelling underground always made me feel claustrophobic.

With a sigh, I thought back to my old house, my old life. Everything was so different now.

Dad was irresponsible, depressed, disengaged. And Daniel...I couldn’t remember the last time we’d had a conversation that didn’t revolve around me asking him to pass the milk from the fridge. When he was at home, this was hardly ever, my younger brother kept to his room and to himself.

The search for normality was intoxicating, and I was always after my next hit – a hit I never got much of at any rate. Under my bed was a photo album, the pages were worn with constant use. It was a way to get a burst of normality, though it wasn’t my reality anymore.

Sometimes, when nights were particularly bad, I liked to pretend Mum was downstairs, making dinner while Dad sat with her, telling her all about his day at work – boring things such as performance targets that he’d reached and gossip among the staff.

I liked to pretend that Daniel was in the next room with a cluster of friends, playing PlayStation and eating all our snacks. Then I’d open my eyes. The reality was unpaid bills and smelly Tubes.

Five stops later, and the Tube pulled into my desired station. No one else from my train got off with me. The industrial district wasn’t really a popular place for people to visit, unless they knew, exactly, what it was that they wanted there.

Like The Hut.

It looked like an abandoned warehouse from the outside, but was actually one of the busiest places I had ever been.

“
Amerie
,” Mercy pulled me into a one-armed hug. “I thought you weren’t gonna come.”

“I thought about it,” I admitted, following Mercy toward the line spilling out of the front entrance. “But then I didn’t really wanna stay in either.”

Mercy nodded, pretending as if she understood. “Yeah, I get
ya
.”

Chuck was holding our place in the queue, and we slid in beside him before the doormen could notice.

“You think Sam will show up?” Mercy asked, fluffing up her hair. I loved Mercy’s hair. She had tight, corkscrew curls against fair skin and dark eyes. She was tall, really tall, and it made me feel dwarfed next to her.

“I don’t really care,” I answered. “You are not pimping me out, Mercy.”

“Who’s Sam?” Chuck asked.

“I’m not pimping you out. I’m doing you a
favor
,” Mercy argued. “He’s sexy. He’s smart. He’s polite and charming. What more could you possibly want?”

“Who’s Sam?” Chuck repeated.

“Whatever your fear is about trusting people, you need to get over it. Okay? Because you’ll end up alone otherwise,” Mercy continued.

“I don’t have trust issues.” My tone was flat, my lie pathetically obvious.

“Ever since...what happened with your mom last year, you’ve been all mysterious and cagey. It’s time you started opening back up again. And being the good friend I am, I’m gonna help you. Okay? So let me hook you guys up and...”

“Who’s Sam?” Chuck shouted.

“The new guy,” I answered.

“The hot new guy,” Mercy said.

“Right.” Chuck rubbed his chin. “Gotta agree with Mercy on this one. You really do need a man in your life.”

“Hey, look, we’re next,” I blurted out to change the subject.

Mercy laughed and edged forward. She held her bag open for the doorman to inspect. His eyes had skimmed over it quickly before he ushered her in the door. Chuck and I followed suit.

As usual, The Hut was packed full of students from high schools and universities. The inside was split into different sections: restaurant, bar, dance floor, and pool tables. The restaurant was the highlight of the place, which was where we always sat. Too young to drink, none of us any good at pool, and not in the mood to dance, we found a booth opposite the pool tables and made ourselves comfortable.

“Think I’ll get a burger...” Chuck said, picking up a sticky menu.

“I’m on a break from carbs.” Mercy fingered her menu absentmindedly. “I bought this dress online the other day. It came yesterday, and when I tried it on, the zipper wouldn’t even do up. I’m getting fat. It’s all the bread I’m eating – it must be.”

“You’re kidding, right?” I asked, staring at Mercy’s slim frame. “If you’re fat then I must be obese.”

Mercy quickly backtracked. “No! I mean, you look good with hips and a bum. I don’t. I’m not good with curves. I’m boyish, and I’m cool with that. No boobs, no bum, no thighs; a straight line. And you’re only one size bigger than me anyway.”

Chuck snorted behind his menu. “You’re talking about stupid girl shit again. Change the subject, please...”

“When you hang out with girls, you know to expect this. So stop whining or go find some guy friends and boost your testosterone.”

I laughed. “You know he won’t. He loves us too much.” I ruffled his hair, yanking my hand away when he attempted to slap me.

“That’s right, keep testing my masculinity. I can still take on both of you two bitches.” He lunged across the table and pulled Mercy into a headlock. She squealed and began to bat at his arms.

“You couldn’t take me,” I muttered, my eyes searching around for a server.

“Hey, Sam!” Mercy exclaimed.

My head snapped around so quickly my neck cricked. Sam stood beside our table; his hair was perfectly styled, his outfit, perfectly coordinated.

“Mind if I sit?” he asked. He’d directed the question to no one in particular, but his gaze fixed on me.

“Go for it,” Mercy said, scooting over.

He sat down next to her, pulling his phone out of his pocket. His fingers played around with the slide up screen and keypad as he stared around at us.

“I’m Chuck,” Chuck said, clearing his throat. “In case they didn’t tell you about me. Which I’m betting they didn’t...”

“No, they didn’t,” Sam answered a little warily.

“Yeah. Chuck’s our friend. He’s like a gay best friend,” Mercy explained.

“But I’m not gay,” Chuck quickly amended. “Not at all.”

“Oh, right,” Sam said lightly. “I wondered if maybe you were here on a date with either Mercy or
Amerie
...”

“Oh, God no.” Chuck shook his head a little too enthusiastically. I slapped his arm.

“Hey. We’re not that bad.”

“I’ve definitely seen worse,” Sam agreed.

I blushed and looked down at my closed menu. Mercy kicked me under the table, but I barely felt it. I knew what she wanted me to do – flirt back, make myself available. It just wasn’t in me to do that anymore.

“So,” Sam said, trying to catch my gaze, “Tell me how you all became friends?”

“It’s a long story,” I said at the same time as Mercy said, “Sure!”

Mercy narrowed her eyes at me. “Well, when were, like, six?” She looked at me, and I nodded. “Yeah, six, this girl was being a right bitch to
Amerie
, and I stood up for her. Best friends ever since.”

By that girl, she meant Sarah. Mercy never told the whole story because she didn’t want people to think there was still an issue between Sarah and me, even though there was. And she also never mentioned the competition she had with Sarah, one Sarah wasn’t even aware of.

“And then Chuck moved to our town, and he was so sweet and lost...” She ruffled Chuck’s hair again, and he glared at her. “Our duo became the trio, and even when Chuck could have left us for some more manly friends, he didn’t. Because he loves us.”

“Whatever,” Chuck snorted.

“You do. Admit it.”

Sam laughed. “Sounds like you guys are all really close. I’d love to know more about you – each of you, I mean.”

“Well, I’m Mercy West. I like fruit, clothes, high heels, and watching films in bed. My
favorite
flowers are pink roses, and I don’t like chocolate.” Mercy nodded her head to Chuck. “And that’s Chuck Hill. He likes girls, drinking, sex, talking about all of the above and eating people’s leftovers. His
favorite
flowers are weed plants you can smoke, and he doesn’t like to eat anything green.” She sucked in a deep breath. “
Amerie
?”

I could have slapped her. “
Erm
? What
d’you
wanna know?”