My Mixed-Up Berry Blue Summer (2 page)

“This way,” Luke said, and pushed aside a low branch.

It was a faded trail—perhaps just a fox path—but you could see it if you knew what to look for: snapped branches, scuffed-aside leaves, bent seedlings.

The trail curved along the cliff's edge. We were maybe twenty or thirty feet above the lake, and I was careful where I put my feet.

Luke stopped and waved his hands like a magician. “Ta-da!”

All around us were low bushes with tiny leaves and light green fruit. I studied them for any hint of blue.

“Not yet,” I said. “But soon.” Holding on to a branch, I smiled into the sun. My toes warmed on the rocky cliff's edge.

“That's not all, though,” Luke said. He stripped off his shirt and walked to the edge.

I took a small step closer. It was easily thirty feet down. My hands got damp just thinking about how high up we were. A pine leaned over, its roots like octopus tentacles clinging to the dirt. I looked again—I didn't want Luke to think I was a wimp. Six feet below was a worn-down ledge, like a diving platform. And beyond that, a narrow, jagged way to climb back up from the water.

“I checked it out from the boat,” Luke said. “The water is forty feet deep, and there are no rocks.”

“You going to jump?”

“Yeah,” he said. “You, too.”

“I don't know about that.” Jumping off the low rocks around Luke's island was one thing, but this was different. The water would hurt, like hitting pavement.

“Come on,” Luke said. He started down to the ledge. “Sometimes you just have to go for it.”

As Luke reached the jumping spot, the sound of voices broke beyond the trees. Sam Costa, Tina's older brother, and a couple of his friends came down the trail, yelling and shoving each other. I backed away from the edge.

“Hey, look who's here,” said Sam. “Luke and June.”

“Where's Tina?” I asked.

“Home watching Tim and the farm stand,” he said, kicking off his sneakers. “Aren't you kids too little to go cliff jumping?”

“No way,” Luke said. I didn't say anything.

“Go on, then,” Sam said. “Jump!”

Luke looked back up at me and grinned. He would have jumped anyway, but now he would go down in style.

Luke gave a war whoop and jumped, waving his arms and legs. The boys hollered, too. I watched Luke's splash, holding my breath. Then he surfaced, shook hair out of his eyes, and yelled, “Awesome!”

Sam climbed down to the ledge for his turn and waited for Luke to climb back up. I leaned back against a tree. Why did these guys have to come along? If Tina had come too, she would have known how to handle her brother's teasing. Except maybe I couldn't count on her to stand up for me anymore. I scratched a mosquito bite on my leg.

Luke pulled himself up to the top. “Don't you want to try it?” He shook his wet hair.

“Not this time.” I moved farther back.

“Aw, come on,” Sam said. “You chicken?”

“I just don't feel like it.”

“What a lezzie,” one of the other boys said.

I stiffened.

“That would be her moms,” snorted Sam.

Their loud laughter landed like a punch.
I only have one mom,
I wanted to say.

“Hey, knock it off,” Luke said.

“Don't worry, man,” Sam said. “We're going to take back Vermont.”

Take back Vermont?
I was shaking and red-faced. What did it mean?

“Better think again.” Luke snapped up his shirt.

“Vermont doesn't belong to anyone!” I stepped toward Sam, as close to the cliff's edge as I dared.

He didn't flinch. “No freaks allowed.”

“Let's go,” Luke said. He grabbed my clenched fist and held on.

With my arm stretched like a lifeline to his, we moved fast, shoving branches, crashing over logs. I was glad for the dark woods. Sweat ran down my face, and I wished I had jumped, jumped into the cool lake, away from Sam.

It was like the end of sixth grade again and the softball game that had turned me into an outcast. Lauren had called someone “gay,” and Mom told her not to use that word, and Lauren's mother said, “
Don't tell my child what to do,
” and then Eva yelled, “
We won't keep quiet about homophobia
” and Lauren's mother yelled, “
Stay out of our lives, stay out of our bedroom!
” And then Eva just had to say, “
As if what happens in our bedroom affects yours
”—and I wanted to die.

That was when a line had been drawn. You were either for gay people or against them. Mom and Eva and I had looked like the players nobody wanted on their team. Lauren and Tina were on the popular side, that's for sure. I remembered, too, that Mom and Eva had been stunned by the silence. Nobody said anything, not even Tina's mother. I had thought she was Mom's friend—they were always talking about teachers, going together to PTA meetings. It didn't make sense.

Everything had been easier before Eva moved in. When Mom needed a break, it was Joe who came over and played Chutes and Ladders with me, and Monopoly, too. Sometimes he'd bring over sheets of butcher-block paper and we'd draw. I'd add eyes to his interlocking swirls and lines. And then he'd give them funny names like Impatience and Confused, and make up stories about our drawings. I was usually asleep by the time Mom got home; it never mattered who she was with. But then Luke's mom had moved out, and Joe was around less. And then Mom met Eva.

I dropped Luke's hand to slap mosquitoes away. What did “Take Back Vermont” mean? Someone had been angry enough to plant a sign in front of our shop. Luke didn't think that way, though. I suddenly missed his hand in mine.

Luke fell in step next to me. “Don't let those guys bug you. That's just talk.”

I pictured Lauren's mother's angry face. “What about the sign?”

“Maybe it means the Abenaki are going to take Vermont back from us white men.”

I looked at him strangely.

“Or”—he slapped a branch away—“Vermont's got to go back to the days of no electricity and wood-burning stoves.”

I started to catch on. “No, it means let's take Vermont back to when everybody had to grow their own food and shovel snow by hand.”

“Let's go back to the days of outhouses!” shouted Luke. “A ban on indoor plumbing!”

I laughed. “That's it! That's what they want! No more toilets and hot tubs!”

“We'll have to wash in the lake,” he said. “Race you!”

We broke into a run across the meadow.

Blue lights flashing outside the marina stopped us.

“What happened?” Luke asked.

A cop was talking to Mom and Eva. Joe was there, too, looking sleepy. Mom must have motored over and woken him up.

“Oh, June, there you are,” Mom said, and pulled me in for a hug.

“You were worried?” Luke and I always went wherever we wanted. “You said come back at lunch.”

“I did, I did.” But Mom didn't let go.

“What's going on?” Luke asked.

“Thank you for your time.” Eva was shaking the police officer's hand.

“We'll keep an eye on things,” he said.

Joe patted Luke on the back. “You go home and let these gals talk things over. I'll watch the shop for a bit,” he said to Mom and Eva. “Remember, I'm just a boat ride away.”

It was strange enough that Eva hadn't gone to work—we'd been gone an hour at least. Even now she didn't seem to be in any hurry. Why hadn't she gone? Why didn't she just leave Mom and me alone, instead of causing a scene? I turned back and watched Luke row out to their island. Suddenly, I wished I had stayed on the stool in the marina shop, just selling sandwiches and pie.

“WHERE WERE YOU?” Eva demanded once we got inside.

I turned to Mom. “Who's asking?”

“We worry, that's all.” Mom dropped her arm from around Eva. “You didn't see anybody, anything strange?”

“We were up by the old camp,” I said. I kept quiet about the cliff jumping.

Like a sixth sense, Mom seemed to know. “You're a long way up from the lake on that trail,” she said. “Be careful you don't slip.”

“June is not the problem,” Eva said. She rubbed her hands. “Last spring, and now this—”

“We're OK,” Mom said, catching Eva's hands. “No one's hurt, and that's all that matters.”

“This time,” Eva said.

“Why were the police here?” I asked.

Mom let go of Eva and dragged a flat of berries onto the table. “Here, let's cut up these strawberries.” She handed me a knife and began hulling and slicing them. I stood there for a moment, knife in hand, and watched them. No one was going to answer my question.

Eva unfolded the newspaper. “There's another headline, MJ.”

Mom nodded. “Things may get worse before they get better.”

“If they get better,” Eva said.

I didn't sit down. “What's going to get worse?”

Eva folded the newspaper again and put it in the basket on the table. “A lot of people are angry since the law allowing same-gender couples to hold civil ceremonies went into effect in July.”

I stabbed my knife into a strawberry. “I didn't think you cared what other people thought.”

“June.” Mom motioned for me to sit. “Chop.”

I sat down and began thwacking the blade on the cutting board.

Eva smoothed her hair behind her ears. “Some people are trying to elect new senators and even a governor who would repeal the law.”

“They want to erase the law, in a sense,” Mom explained.

“Let them,” I said. The law made people angry. I had seen it twice—once at the softball game, and now with Sam.

“You don't mean that,” Mom said, and Eva chimed in, “It's important to us.”

To you,
I thought, but didn't say it out loud. I sliced another strawberry. “What does ‘Take Back Vermont' mean?”

“I was hoping you hadn't seen that sign,” Mom said.

“I'm not a baby.”

Mom set down her knife. “Some people think Vermont will be taken over by gay people if this law remains. They want Vermont to be just for Vermonters, not outsiders.”

“We
are
Vermonters,” I said.

“That's the point,” Eva said.

“Did you call the police?” I asked Mom.

“We had to report the sign.”

“That's not all.” Eva paced by the window. “We found a note on the car about how lesbians shouldn't be allowed to raise children.”

“Eva!” Mom said. She gave my hand a squeeze. “That's why I was afraid for you. But don't worry about it, June.”

I held on. “You're my mom.” She'd given birth to me. No one could change that. But I knew who the problem was. It didn't surprise me that Eva was looking out the window.

I sliced a large strawberry fast. When it was just Mom and me, I used to pretend I had a dad who was a salesman, always away. Later, I understood that Mom went out on dates with special friends, and sometimes I met them. But no one lasted. Not until Eva. I threw the strawberry pieces into the bowl. The dad story ended the day Eva moved in. It had been one month, and nothing seemed better.

Mom took my hand and held it tight. “I always told you that I chose you—that I wanted to raise a child even though I wasn't going to marry a man.”

I nodded. It was a familiar story.

“And now I've chosen Eva, too,” she said softly.

“You told me.”

“We've chosen each other,” Eva said, moving next to Mom, their smiles matching.

“What about me?” I stood up.

“We're a family now.” Mom pulled me close. “Honey, we weren't going to tell you until later, but we've talked about it. We'd like to have a civil union ceremony.”

“The new law protects us,” Eva said, “and especially you.”

I pulled back, not listening. “You want to get married?”

That meant Eva was going to be with us always. Tidying up around the kitchen, talking endlessly about politics, nosing into my life. Would there be a picture in the newspaper? I imagined Lauren snickering in the hall at school,
I saw your moms' wedding announcement, congratulations.
And who did they think would come besides Luke's dad? Nobody wanted to see two women kissing—not even their friends. Kissing—anyone—was something I couldn't think about right now.

“We can talk about the wedding later,” Eva said. “What's more important is your safety.” Her pager buzzed. “I've got to go. You two be careful, OK?”

“We're just making pies,” I said. “Like we always do.”

Mom and I kept hulling and slicing strawberries, our knives thudding together.

“No worries, OK?” Mom said, adjusting her glasses on her nose. “We asked Joe if he had heard or seen anything last night, but he hadn't. Someone is trying to scare us, but we think it was some kids who didn't know what they were doing was illegal.”

No worries, right. It was an old game of ours, but there was plenty to worry about. The thought of the note and sign as a prank didn't make me feel better. It could have been Sam. He knew exactly what this was about. But he wouldn't go to the trouble—he had been planning to go cliff jumping, right? Yet imagining a grownup sneaking around was even worse.

My head ached, and Mom's silence seeped into me so I couldn't speak. When the bell dinged down at the marina shop, I jumped up to take Joe's place.

“Hey, June, maybe you can try a little harder to be friendly to Eva,” Mom added. I rolled my eyes.

***

I WAS EDGY all afternoon, suspicious of everyone who came into the store. Was there a way to tell if someone hated gay people or not? The way they held their change or chose apple pie instead of raspberry-strawberry? A man from the New York side of the lake bought some gas. Three French Canadians sailed down from Montreal and wanted picnic supplies. They bought two wrapped cookies.