My Name Is River Blue (22 page)

When Ant and I finally
came out of the dressing room, we wished that we were anywhere but the Summers'
estate where everything we saw made us think that we weren't good enough to be
there. As if he could read our minds, Max greeted us just outside the dressing
room door, and did his best to put us at ease. He showed us around, introducing
us as his "buddies and teammates," to any kids we didn't know. After
the introductions, he involved us in games of water basketball and volleyball.

Thanks to Max, Ant
and I soon felt as comfortable as we did with the team during practices. I began
to understand that joining the football team meant more than simply playing a
sport because it was also the key to finding friends like Max, who would
encourage other kids to accept us as part of the gang. I remembered Papa
telling me that if I would only give people a chance, I could find some good
friends.

When it was time
to eat, Max passed the word to all the guys to put their shirts on before going
through the buffet line and proceeding to the lunch tables. He apologized, but
blamed it on his mother's idea of proper manners.

When the guys
were dressed and moving, Max joined Ant and me in the serving line. We filled
our plates from the buffet of burgers, wieners, snacks, fruits, and desserts
before Max led us to a table far away from the others where Carlee sat with two
other girls. I knew that Carlee had planned for me to sit with her, so I was
expecting it when Max casually herded me in Carlee's direction. The girls had
conveniently left three spaces open between them so that the seating
arrangement alternated with boy then girl. I sat next to Carlee, Ant was next
to Tina, an African-American girl, and Max took a seat next to Marcy, a white
girl wearing too much makeup.

It was hard to
miss the silly grin on Ant's face when he met Tina Woodson, whose figure was as
well developed as Carlee's was. After the party, I made fun of him for talking
to her breasts instead of making eye contact with her. For days, it was hard to
get Ant to talk about anything without him working Tina into the conversation.
As he did me, I reminded him not to forget football.

We knew that Mr.
and Mrs. Summers tried to be politically correct because of Big Bill's business
interests and their stature in the community, but Ant and I were still
surprised that they allowed Carlee to have Tina as her best friend. It made
more sense when we learned that Big Bill was a silent partner with Tina's
father in a hugely profitable food service company. Tina's parents owned a
beautiful home on the other side of Lake Bergeron, and they were one of only
two black families who lived in the Walden Hills area.

Marcy had moved
from out of town to Carlee's neighborhood during the summer, and I assumed that
her family had money because there were no cheap houses in Walden Hills. Max
had only spoken to her briefly, but since she was cute, he was hoping to get to
know her better. She would be going to a private Catholic school rather than
going to public school with us, and it didn't take me long to be thankful for
her parents' choice.

At first,
everyone was busy eating but gradually we all began talking. I was nervous
sitting with Carlee, whose family was so obviously wealthy, but I managed to
have a conversation with her. It wasn't so difficult since she enjoyed talking.

"River,
it's nice to see you when I'm not tripping in the hall. That was so embarrassing,"
said Carlee. "If you hadn't caught me, I would have fallen flat on my
face."

Tina smiled
mischievously. "Now that I know what he looks like in swim trunks, I might
have to fall near him too. I saw you coming out of the pool, and you got one
fine
looking body, River."

My face grew
warm from Tina's comment, and then I almost laughed aloud at the warning look
Carlee fired her friend before smiling once again and agreeing with her. "You
must work out a lot, River. There's not another boy out here with a build like
yours."

"Yeah,"
said Max. "I've been meaning to ask what your routine is, River. The first
time I saw you changing after practice, I thought you looked like a smaller
version of freaking superman."

I wasn't used to
being the center of attention. At least not for anything good. "I do
weight training, running, crunches, and pushups. An older friend got me started
with an exercise routine and a good diet when I was very young. Now it's a
habit."

"He's
relentless," said Ant. "Don't matter how long football practice is,
he hits the weights when we get home. After I'm in the sack, he's still doing
pushups and sit-ups. He keeps me awake with his grunting and counting."

I wanted to
shift attention away from me. "I hit a big growth spurt before Ant and Max
did, but when it's their turn, they'll catch up with me and maybe pass
me."

Ant grinned. "Maybe
so, but you don't have to worry about me keeping you up at night while I work
out. I love me some sleep too much."

Tina looked
surprised. "So you guys live together?"

I took a big
bite of my burger and chewed slowly. I didn't want to discuss where we lived,
and I could see from Ant's expression that he wished he had not opened that particular
can.

"Yeah,"
said Ant. "We're roommates."

Carlee and Max
already knew, but it was news to Tina and Marcy. Marcy asked the obvious
question. "How did you end up as roommates?"

Max answered her
and abruptly changed the subject while giving her a look that would have told
anyone with an ounce of good manners to leave it alone. "They're foster
kids. Hey, Carlee, have you girls learned all your cheer routines, so you don't
make us look bad at the game Thursday? Just because you won at cheer camp, you
can't get lazy."

Carlee started
to answer when Marcy rudely cut her off to see why Max changed the subject. "So
where
do
you guys live, River? You don't mind people knowing,
do you
?"

Max gently
elbowed Marcy, but she ignored him and stared smugly at me. She smelled blood
in the water and insisted on waiting for my answer. I had known her for only a
few minutes, but Marcy was so transparent that I didn't need more time. What I
saw was a rude, mean-spirited bitch. She enjoyed bringing misery to others less
fortunate than she was, and I guessed that her target was usually a shy, poor,
unpopular kid who wouldn't fight back. Maybe she liked tormenting a kid who silently
took the abuse as if it were only a joke made in good fun, or maybe she
attacked a kid who ran away in tears while Marcy and her friends savored their
power to inflict pain. I doubted that Marcy would care if her cruelty pushed a
depressed kid over the edge to suicide.

The dark, angry
part of me considered my response. Marcy was the kind of girl I despised enough
to beat the same as I would a guy who jumped in my face. I sipped my water,
found her eyes, and spoke bluntly. I suddenly didn't care who knew.

"We live at
Tolley House with six other guys and our house parents. It's a place for foster
kids who were arrested. They're on probation for a first offense, or they're on
parole from juvie prison. The state likes to keep dangerous delinquents with no
parents in one place, so they can watch us."

Marcy didn't
blink. She coolly stared back at me. "So which kind of delinquent are you?
One on probation or one from juvie prison?"

"Marcy, that's
enough!" Carlee warned.

"More than
enough," agreed Max. "Totally out of line is more like it. Guys, come
on. Let's walk, and I'll show you the grounds." Max stood up and motioned
for Ant and me to join him.

"RB, let's
go. She ain't worth it," pleaded Ant.

I remained
seated as I returned Marcy's stare with an icy one of my own. My anger
threatened to boil over, but I controlled it and calmly answered her. "Well,
Marcy, I'm one of the ones they paroled from Stockwell, and since you want in
my shit so bad, I'll answer your next two rude questions. The answer to the first
one is I did two years."

I stood,
towering over Marcy, and leaned across the table until I spoke in a whisper only
inches from her face. "The answer to the second one is manslaughter. See,
Marcy, I have an anger management problem, and I lost control with a snobby
girl about your age. I couldn't take hearing her whiny voice anymore, so I
choked the nosey bitch until her eyeballs popped and bled. It was a real mess."

Marcy's face
could not hide the fact that I scared the hell out of her. She couldn't speak. During
her pampered upbringing, she had never antagonized anyone that she believed was
seriously capable of the violence I described. I guessed that in all the times
she had played her games of belittling and bullying less fortunate kids that it
had never turned ugly for her.

"Not much
fun when somebody picks on you, is it Marcy?" I held my stare until I saw
Marcy's tears ruining her makeup, and then I turned and strode in the direction
of the changing rooms. Ant, Max, and Carlee followed behind me, trying to make
me slow down and talk, and when Carlee grabbed my elbow, I had to stop or drag
her.

"River, I'm
sorry," said Carlee. "If I had known that she would act that way, I
would have never had her sitting there. I don't like her much, but since her
family is new to the neighborhood, my mother said I should invite her. Plus, Max
was interested in meeting her so that's why she sat with us."

"Well, I'm not
interested now," said Max. "What a bitch. River, don't leave, dude. You
were having fun before you met her, and I promise you, I'll get rid of her
butt."

"I'm down
with whatever you want, RB," said Ant. "I guess we have to wait for
Papa, but if you want to leave, just say the word."

Carlee was
insistent. "River, please come with me. We can take a walk through the
gardens. Just you and me. I really want to get to know you better. Please,
River."

"I need to
make sure Marcy gets home without causing more trouble," said Max. "Ant,
maybe you can talk to Tina while Carlee and River take a walk." He grabbed
Ant around his shoulders and steered him away from Carlee and me.

I allowed Carlee
to lead me out through a gate that opened into a large garden of flowers and plants,
many of which were so perfect that I touched a few to
see if they were real. The garden had such a calming
effect on me that I began to think less about my confrontation with Marcy and more
about enjoying my walk with Carlee.

As we strolled
along, Carlee looped her arms around one of mine as if we were a couple, and I could
hardly believe my luck as I gazed down at the soft, smooth skin of her pretty
face. Beneath my chin, her hair smelled fresh like an early spring morning in
the park, and I caught myself before I did anything as weird as sniffing it. I
fought instincts that I didn't know could be so strong, and I tried to focus on
something other than the fact that I had the most popular girl in school
holding on to my arm. It wasn't easy.

"This is
beautiful out here," I said. "Who keeps up with it?"

"People that
work for us," answered Carlee. She didn't sound interested. "I don't
know their names, I just see them working."

"How long
have they been doing your landscaping?"

"Years. For
as long as I can remember. What difference does it make?"

"None, I
guess. Just seems like you would know the names of anyone who worked here for
years."

"River,
it's not like we invite those sorts of people to dinner. They do their work and
my father pays them. Then they go do whatever worker people do."

I wondered if
Carlee realized how snobbish she sounded. "Ant and I were thinking of
working with your landscaping crew some day. Maybe you could hook us up and
then I could tell you what worker people do after they get paid."

"Don't be
silly, River. Let's sit over here." Carlee missed my point and led me by
the hand to a gazebo. She sat on one of the two benches and pulled me down next
to her. "I come out here by myself a lot. Just to think."

"It's a
nice place. I used to live with some people who had a nice garden but nothing
like this."

"You had to
move around a lot?" Carlee asked.

I held Carlee's
hand, rubbing the soft skin with my thumb. "Yeah, I had four foster
families before Tolley, but I spent most of my time in two group homes. I was in
the little kids home until I was six, and then I was in and out of the junior
boys home between families. And there was the two years in Stockwell." I
hated that she had to hear that I was in juvie prison, but unbelievably, she
didn't seem to care. It was almost as if she already knew.

"About
Stockwell. Max, Tina, and I won't tell anyone else."

"Thanks. I
shouldn't have said anything, but I was pissed."

"River, I'm
so sorry for how Marcy acted. I wanted you to have a good time, and I've wanted
to get to know you since you started school with us. I have a confession to
make about tripping in the hall. I did it on purpose."

"I kinda
figured, but I wasn't about to miss a chance to hold a pretty girl."

Carlee punched
me playfully in the shoulder. "So you just let me be a drama queen."