My Senior Year of Awesome (14 page)

Right as we reach the front porch, Andy tugs me back.

“Sorry. Do I have your key?” I ask, fumbling in my jeans’ pockets.

“No. We never got to the actual driving part.” As he speaks, his hands rest lightly on my hips. His eyes sparkle in the moonlight and the expression on his face tells me what’s next. His ridiculous height is so out of synch with my less than average stature that he needs to bend way down when he kisses me. I rise on my tiptoes and lay my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken.

We’re in danger of losing ourselves in another long, drawn out make-out session when the front door springs open, and someone tumbles down the porch steps into a line of manicured boxwoods. After several loud gagging coughs, I hear the unmistakable sound of barf in action.

“Good job Dumbchuck,” Ben calls, poking his head outside.

“Gross,” I say.

Ben lifts his eyes from Dom and points my way. “Aha. Another victim of the Dumbchuck.”

“Another victim? Does he do this a lot?”

“Dom has the weakest stomach known to man. He’ll reverse gears after track races, three sips of beer or at the sight of baby pigs. Hey, what are you two doing out here?” Ben’s eyes narrow suspiciously.

“Just talking,” I say and step away from Andy.

“Sure you were,” Dom’s voice rises from the depths of the mulch.

“Shut up, Altomeri,” Andy says. “I’m going back inside. It stinks out here.”

“And, Ben, you may want to switch off a few lights and take the ‘come in and arrest all of us’ sign off the door. There’s a cop roaming the neighborhood,” I say.

After the abrupt end to our supposed driving lesson, I swiftly part ways with Andy inside Dom’s house. I drag Jana away from what was surely an enthralling conversation about the math portion of the SATs with Sidh and tell her we need to leave.

“Andy and I ran into a cop outside, and he’s looking for an underage party to raid.”

“I need to find Ben,” she says.

“Forget Ben. He’s babysitting Dom.”

She grabs my arm, suddenly remembering where I’ve been. “What happened with Andy?”

“Mission accomplished. Quite an achievement, huh?” I grin stupidly. Jana probably thinks I’m happy about the
Fill It In
list, but really I just can’t get the excitement of being with Andy out of my head. I’m beginning to believe in fate. Maybe Andy and I are meant to be together.

Fill It In – Your Awesome Achievements

To Be Completed By Sadie Matthews and Jana Rodriguez Prior to June 1
^st

1. Break a School Rule — Sadie & Jana Cut Homeroom!

2. Serve My First Detention — Sadie

3. Star in the School Play — Sadie & Jana are Audrey II

4. Pass Driver’s Ed — Sadie & Jana

5. Kiss Two Boys in One Night — Sadie

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

“Monday morning status update.” Jana pulls out the official copy of our Awesome Achievements list and flattens the wrinkled paper on top of her Spanish binder. I slam my locker door closed and try to push all thoughts of Andy from my head. He’s been permanently stuck in my brain since Saturday night.

Jana uses her pencil to tick off items. “Awesome, we’re halfway done.”

“And a few more IP.”

“Say what?”

“In process.”

“Oh. Right. Do you think we should record the actual date of each event?”

I glance around, searching for Andy. He usually makes an appearance in the senior hallway before homeroom. When I turn my attention back to Jana, I notice she’s looking at me funny.

“Are you still sleepy? I asked you about writing down the dates.”

“Oh. Sorry. I recorded the date we skipped homeroom in my journal if you need it.”

“Text me tonight. Now that we passed Driver’s Ed, when are we taking our permit tests?”

“After spring break. Between track and
Little Shop
of Horrors
practice we can’t waste two hours waiting in line at the DMV.” Further down the hall, a tall head pokes up above the crowd. I push back a glimmer of disappointment when I realize it’s just a sophomore on the basketball team.

“What’s next, do you think?” Jana’s asking me.

“You need a solo achievement. I have two already. Any ideas?”

“Would kissing someone in front of the school sign count?”

“Who, shy Ben? If you can talk him into kissing you in front of school, it definitely counts.”

“Yeah, but we’re still just friends,” Jana responds, a little crankily.

After Dom had finished retching up the contents of his stomach last Saturday night, he passed out cold on the marble floor. We all stepped over him on our way out, leaving Ben to tackle clean up duty alone. He also wound up spending the night at Dom’s to make sure his friend survived the effects of binging. Meanwhile, Jana and I froze our butts off taking a roundabout route home on foot. Luckily, I didn’t run into Sergeant Peters again while milling around town close to curfew, smelling like pure guilt.

“What about detention?” she moves on before I continue to question her about Ben. “Do you have that date in your journal?”

“No. I couldn’t bring myself to write about the experience. But I’ll never forget it.”

“Good enough. And did you ever ask Dom about a ride in his car? After Saturday night … ”

“After Saturday night when I told him he kissed like my brother?”

Jana makes a pained face. “Ouch. Okay, I can work on that one. I have some ideas.”

“Do you, now?”

She smiles a Mona Lisa smile, revealing nothing. “Our latest and perhaps greatest achievement is all thanks to you. Two boys snogged.” She pencils in the victims’ names and Saturday’s date. “I can add the times too. Say around ten p.m. and ten fifteenish?”

“Somewhere around there,” I agree.

“Fantastic. We’re some making decent progress overall. Here, why don’t you just take this home tonight and pencil in your dates for detention and homeroom cutting?” She hands the list to me. I shove it between my class binders. “I’m sure both boys would be happy to testify on your behalf. Maybe they’ve even recorded the experience on the bathroom wall.”

“Funny. So, about Ben –”

“Morning, ladies.” A familiar voice interrupts our conversation. Whirling around, I find Andy approaching us, smiling from ear to ear. His new haircut and lack of glasses still throws me for a loop, and I momentarily lose track of all my other thought processes in the midst of gawking.

“Girl talk, Andy,” Jana says, less impressed by his new look. “Keep walking.” She indicates with her index and middle finger what his legs should be doing.

“Yeah, leave, Andy,” I say, but my voice sounds shrill and weak. I’m stuck on this Kosolowski metamorphosis. Scientists should name a butterfly after him or something.

“That’s not what you were saying Saturday night, right, Sadie?” His smile spreads wider, if possible, leaving me torn between hyperventilation and drooling.

“I don’t recall us having much of a conversation at all,” I say, locking my eyes with his.

“Because I stunned you into silence,” he says, and I laugh.

“Gosh. Look at the time. Gotta go.” Jana glances at her non-existent wristwatch. When she turns away, her backpack bumps my elbow. I let out a yelp. All of my morning work drops to the floor.

“Oops. See ya,” she calls out, vanishing around the corner, not bothering to help me pick up the mess.

When I crouch down to collect my junk, I spy a familiar looking wrinkled paper under Andy’s right high top.

“I’ve got it. Hey, relax, Sadie,” Andy says, sensing my desperation. He bends down and grabs the list. “What’s this? A love letter to your secret obsession?”

“Give it, Andy. Now.” I dive for the paper but miss. He straightens up to skyscraping heights. I pounce on him with the speed of a hungry tiger. Laughing, Andy holds the paper high above his head where I have no hope of reaching it. Unless I jump. Like a kangaroo on steroids, I spring up and down. But I miss. And I miss again. And again.

“Fill It In – Your Amazing Achievements,” Andy announces to those of us left in the hallway, meaning the two of us. “Number 1. Break a School Rule — Sadie and Jana Cut Homeroom. Is that why you wanted to skip? Stupid me, I thought you just wanted Dom to pay attention to you.”

“Zip it, Andrew.” My voice shakes as I swipe with my arm again, but Andy lifts the paper above his head and squints at Jana’s loopy combination of cursive and block print.

“Number 2. Serve My First Detention. Completed by none other than Sadie Matthews, who shouted a curse word in the biology lab. Number 3. Star in the School Play. Ah, yes, the plant. You’re kicking ass with this, aren’t you?”

“Give it to me now or I will kill you!” I amp up the venom into my voice and claw at him, digging my fingernails into his shirt. He doesn’t flinch. He must have skin of steel. Maybe he really is Superman in disguise.

The homeroom bell rings.

“C’mon, Andy. We’re going to be late.” I desperately appeal to his over-conscientiousness, but Andy ignores me as he continues to read down the list. His ears, plainly visible thanks to his shorter haircut, turn bright red. I can’t tell if he’s angry, embarrassed, or both, but whatever emotion flows through him right now, I’d bet it’s not a good one. After what seems like hours of deafening silence, he clears his throat with one long, painful-sounding scrape of his vocal chords.

“Please give it to me, Andy,” I whisper.

He extends his long arm. “Glad to be of service,” he says. Then he fakes me out and drops the paper on the ground. I trash every last shred of my dignity as I dive for the list, crinkle it into a ball and run.

***

So, calculus is fun. Andy’s sneaker taps out a maddening rhythm while he frenetically works on functions. I consider stomping my heel on his big toe, but that would be cruel. Plus, I’m on the verge of crying, for some reason. I can’t tell if the tears burning in my eyes are real, or if I’m unconsciously making a play for sympathy. Probably a little bit of both.

After allowing us thirty minutes to complete independent work, Mrs. McCaffrey launches into a new unit.

“After working through these four steps, you can easily solve for x,” she says a few minutes later. “Does anyone have the answer yet?”

Total cricket job. The entire class must wear matching zombie expressions, because when Mrs. McCaffrey glances around, she counts exactly zero volunteers. After a minute, she calls on her go-to problem solver. And guess what—for the first time ever, Andy Kosolowski gives an incorrect answer.

Mrs. McCaffrey’s jaw drops. She checks the equation on the board. “Are you feeling okay, Andy?”

“Um, sorry, I calculated the cosecant, not the cosine,” he mumbles. Mrs. McCaffrey sighs, assigns us all extra homework, and ignores her star pupil for the rest of the period.

***

“Emergency meeting!”

“What happened? Did Dominic chuck up his breakfast on you?” Jana asks when we meet in front of the cafeteria for lunch.

“No. Our list has been compromised!”

“What do you mean, compromised?” Her dark eyes seem to grow to three times their normal size. “Are we getting kicked out of school for cutting homeroom?”

“We haven’t been expelled—yet. But Andy read our achievements.”

“You showed the list to Andy? Have you lost your mind?” Jana grabs my wrist and pulls me out of the lunch line.

“Of course I didn’t show it to him! It’s your fault—you bumped into me when you ran away this morning, and I dropped it. Andy trapped it under his submarine sized foot and then used his extra-long arms to hold it away from me while he read it.”

“Ha! You’re so busted.” Jana smirks as she releases her hold on me.

“
We’re s
o busted, you mean.”

“Did he read number five?”

“Yes, he read number five, right along with his name and Dom’s name, which you so kindly filled in.”

Jana giggles, still thinking this is funny. “Did he laugh?”

“No, Jana. He failed to find even one lousy shred of humor in the situation.”

“Uh-oh. Maybe he was laughing on the inside?” Jana finally gets the picture.

“Not at all. He threw the list on the ground. By the time I picked it up, he was gone.”

Jana hands me a lunch tray before grabbing one for herself. “What if he tells Dom? You sit between them in class. They’ll be comparing notes and not just biology notes. I mean, not just biology class notes.”

“Got it, Jana. Hilarious. I don’t know why you had to go and tell me to kiss him, anyway.”

Jana stops dead in the center of the crowded cafeteria. I flip my empty tray up against my chest before it smashes into her back.

“Was it so terrible to kiss two guys? I thought we both agreed it would be an amazing achievement.”

“It was a stupid decision. I have a hard enough time managing one boy. Why did I think I could handle two?”

We silently pace along the salad bar. I pass on the wilted lettuce and head for the grill.

As the deep fryer sizzles, Jana speaks again. “You know what, I never asked about your kiss with Andy because I assumed it was a non-event. But on the off chance that my assumption was completely off the mark—do you want to tell me about it?”

I toss a large order of cheese fries on my green plastic tray.

“It was good, wasn’t it?” She grabs a carton of chocolate milk. “And now you like him, don’t you?”

“Andy Kosolowski is the most annoying person on the planet,” I grumble.

“Is he also the best snogger on the planet?”

My shoulders fall. “Doesn’t matter now. He thinks I only kissed him because of the list.”

“Why else would you kiss him? You always talk about how annoying he is. You were ready to drop out of school over the Senior Superlative thing. And you’re always saying you don’t want to get involved with someone and end up like your mom.”

“I never said I wanted to get involved with him, did I? Why don’t you go sit with Ben?”

Jana does a double take. “Why would I want to sit with Ben?”

“Because you’re totally into him. And while you’re over there, figure out some way to get him to make a move. You talk big about taking risks, Jana, but I’m the one screwing up my life for a stupid list, not you.” I head toward an empty chair at the stage crew table.