My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece (11 page)

The Headmaster said
Well played
and squeezed my shoulder and
Fantastic goal
and rubbed my hair. And just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, I walked into the changing rooms and all the boys but Daniel smiled and said
Great strike
and
Brilliant game
and
Didn’t know you had such a good left foot
. The keeper even shouted
Jamie Matthews, Man Of The Match
’cos my goal had made everyone forget his mistake and no one was calling him
Sissy Hands
any more. A few people agreed but Daniel snorted and stormed out of the changing rooms. I thought he was just going home, but when his fist hit my face, I realised I was wrong.

It happened half a mile from school on a quiet road. There was no one else around. Daniel must have waited outside the changing room and then followed me home. I didn’t hear him creep up behind me ’cos I was having a conversation with Mum in my head, telling her all about the game and saying
Don’t cry. I bet Mr Walker will let you come next time
.

There was a tap on my back and I turned around to see five knuckles. They punched my face and my eyeball smashed against the back of my skull like an egg against a wall. My hands flew up to my head and a foot kicked me in the stomach and I fell to the ground. The foot kicked my leg, then my elbow, then my ribs, and I could taste something metallic that must have been blood.

I turned over to protect my tummy and Daniel thumped me on the back. Then he grabbed my hair and shook and blood splashed all over the pavement. He shouted in my ear
That’s for getting me in trouble with the Headmaster
. I tried to reply but my mouth was full of blood and guts and something hard that might have been a tooth. He said
You’re a dickhead
and
Everyone hates you
and
One lucky goal won’t change a thing
. And I was just lying there taking it all until he said
Go back to London and take the Paki with you
. For some reason that word made me cross so I tried to get to my feet but my body wouldn’t work.

Daniel stamped on my fingers before he ran off. I lay on the pavement and watched his trainers disappear around the corner. My bones ached and my head throbbed and I felt tired. I closed my eyes and just concentrated on breathing. Air whistled in and out of my nostrils. I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, the sky had gone dark and the mountains were shadows and the trees were black and spiky against a creamy moon.

I limped home. No blue lights flashed outside the cottage. Mum’s car was not in the drive. I had no idea what time it was but I knew it was late and I thought Dad might have been worried enough to make a few phone calls.

I opened the front door and waited for Jas to fly down the stairs or Dad to shout
Where on earth have you been
. The hall was silent. Grey light seeped underneath the lounge door and I walked towards it, my body stinging with each step. Dad was asleep on the sofa, a photo album open on his knees, a picture of Rose glinting in the light from the TV. She was wearing a flowery dress, a cardigan and flat shoes with buckles. I stared at Dad for a long time and, even though my body was battered and my eye had swollen to twice its normal size, I had never felt more invisible. It’s not a great superpower, after all.

The TV was muted but that advert came on. Britain’s Biggest Talent Show. Lots of children danced in the silence, their faces all happy and shiny and their families clapping along in the audience. And when the phone appeared and the words swirled around saying
Ring this number to change your life
, I grabbed a pen off the mantelpiece and wrote the number on the palm of my sore hand.

T
URNS OUT I
hadn’t been asleep on the pavement that long. It goes dark so early now it’s hard to tell the time. It was only half past six when I turned off the TV and left Dad in the lounge and came up to my bedroom. As soon as I walked in, Roger leapt off the windowsill and rubbed his fur against my bruises. At least one person was glad to see me. At least one person was happy I’d made it home alive. I had a sudden image of Roger dialling 999 with his paw and reporting me missing through his whiskers. A smile pushed my cheeks up to my eyes and it hurt like you wouldn’t believe.

Jas got in at twenty one minutes past ten. The hinges of the front door creaked slowly and I could tell she was trying to sneak in without being heard. I crossed my fingers. There was a stamping noise and then a shout. I pulled the duvet over my head and hummed really hard. Dad sounded like he’d been drinking.

He asked her again and again
Where have you been
and she said
Just out with friends
, which was obviously a lie. But I didn’t blame her for keeping quiet about Leo. Dad would not like Jas to have a boyfriend, especially one with green hair. He said
Why didn’t you call
and I could hear the words Jas wanted to say. I could see them flash into her brain. But she just said
I’ll call next time
and Dad said
There won’t be a next time
and Jas said
WHAT
and Dad said
You’re grounded
.

This was so stupid I would have laughed but I was trying to keep my face still ’cos it hurt too much to move. Dad hasn’t looked after us for months. He hasn’t cooked us tea, or asked about our day, or told us off for too long to start now. Jas must have had the same reaction ’cos Dad said
Wipe that daft smile off your face
. And she shouted
You can’t ground me
and Dad replied
If you act like a child then I’ll treat you like one
and Jas said
I’m more of an adult than you’ll ever be
. And Dad said
That’s ridiculous
and I whispered to Roger
No it’s not
. Roger purred and his whiskers tickled my lips. He was curled up next to me, his body a furry hot water bottle against mine. Then there was this silence full of all the things Jas couldn’t say.

When I was friends with Luke Branston for four days, we watched this old horror film called Candyman. It was about a man with a hook who appears if you look in the mirror and say his name five times. And ever since I watched that film I have half wanted to try it, and sometimes when I am brushing my teeth I say
Candyman Candyman Candyman Candyman Candy
— but I never finish it off, just in case.

It’s like that with Dad. No one’s ever said anything about his drinking. Jas’s never said anything to me, and I’ve never said anything to her, and we’ve never ever said anything to Dad. It’s too scary. I don’t know what would happen if we said the word
DRUNK
.

I half wanted her to shout it in his face. Roger got too hot and leapt off the bed. The church clock chimed eleven times and I imagined a little old man pulling the rope in the bell tower underneath the stars. The silence went on. I bit my lip and noticed a gap. Daniel had knocked out my last baby tooth.

Footsteps on the stairs broke the silence. I felt relieved and disappointed, both at the same time. My door opened and Jas came in, dumping her bag on my floor. She sat on my bed and started to cry. Black tears full of make-up made lines down her cheeks. Her back felt bony when I gave her a hug.
I can’t do this any more
she whispered, which made me feel sick. That’s just what Mum said before she walked out. I grabbed hold of Jas’s hand, thinking of the kite on the beach at St. Bees and how it had tugged and twisted, trying to get free. I pushed my fingers in between hers and held on tight. I said
Things will change
and she said
How can they
and I said
Don’t worry. I have a plan
.

Before I could tell her about Britain’s Biggest Talent Show, she grabbed her bag and opened it up.
Have this
she said, handing me a can.
For your t-shirt. So you don’t have to take it off
. Deodorant. I thought of the boy on the pitch who had smelled like a man and I sprayed it all over my body.
Better
I asked.
Much
she replied, with the tiniest smile.
You were really starting to stink
.

When Mrs Farmer walked into the classroom, the first thing she did was fly the footballers’ angels onto new clouds. As Daniel’s angel had been recycled, she wrote his name on a post-it and stuck it on cloud one. Sunya tried to catch my eye but I ignored her. After what Daniel did, I was scared to make him cross.

My angel jumped up two ’cos I scored the winning goal so now I’m on cloud three. Mrs Farmer said
Stand up boys
and we did and she said
You are all one step closer to Heaven
as everyone clapped. She looked at me funny but then shook her head, deciding not to say anything. My eye is all green and black and puffed up with bruises.

At breakfast when Jas said
What’s wrong with your face
, I just said
I got elbowed in the match
. I wanted to tell her about Daniel, but she still looked sad and I thought she had enough to worry about. I wondered if Dad was going to ask about the score but he was frowning at something on the radio. Jas looked up from her laptop.
I don’t feel well
she muttered and went back to bed. On the way out of the door, I spotted her horoscope on the computer screen. It said
Prepare for a big surprise
, which must have freaked Jas out.

All the way through Geography, Sunya kept trying to talk to me about the game. She was going on and on about my goal, how it was the best thing she’s ever seen, including all the football on TV, and how she knew I’d be brilliant ’cos I was Spider-Man. But I’d never felt less like Spider-Man in my life, with my body aching underneath the t-shirt and the sleeves flapping around my arms. And when she said she thought the Headmaster would make me captain next match, I told her to shut up. She said
What did you say
and I said
You don’t know anything about football
. Her eyes changed from circles to slits and her lips made a thin line as if someone had drawn them with a very sharp pencil.

She didn’t speak to me all the way through English and in Assembly she didn’t clap when the Headmaster announced that I was Man of The Match. It should have been the best moment of my life but I felt like Dominic from my school in London. Dominic’s disabled and, whenever he did anything, even wrote his name in big spidery letters, everyone went
Wow
and
Well done
as if he’d written a book or something. When the Headmaster described my goal, that’s exactly how I felt, like it wasn’t that good for anyone else but it was dead impressive for the weird ginger boy who they all thought was too retarded to play football.

At playtime I walked over to our bench. I didn’t expect Sunya to be there. I thought she’d be too angry. But there she was, with her nose in the air and her foot tapping on the ground. Her eyes were as black as the hijab on her head and three shiny hairs blew in the wind. She said
I’m ignoring you
, and I said
So why are you speaking
, and she said
I am just letting you know that I won’t be talking for the rest of the day
. So I said
But I’m sorry
, and she said
So you should be
, and I said
I thought you weren’t speaking
, and then she hit me on the leg. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did but I swore loudly and put my hands on my thigh. And then Sunya looked from my leg, to my eye, to the scratches on my hands, and her jaw dropped. She jumped up and said
Come on
. Her headscarf swayed from side to side and her bracelets tinkled as she marched down a slope I hadn’t seen before. It led to a green shed below the school.