My Sister's Ex (27 page)

I tell her, “The fact that you’re worried about it happening says everything, Alita. Shit, and if that’s the case we’re all in trouble. We’re all getting screwed without the Vaseline.”

“No, I disagree,” London says. “We are adult enough to know what we’re getting ourselves into. No more excuses. Jeff knows what he’s doing. Marlene knew what she was doing when she made the decision to step out with your ex.
And we know what we’re doing posting fake photos online. We do what we choose to do, and it’s up to us to face the consequences of our actions.”

I can’t argue with London. Because as bad and guilty as I feel, I still want to pay Jeff back for what he’s doing. When Jeff and Marlene were getting busy tossing each other’s salad tonight, I went back to the SoulSingles website. Jeff has so many favorites I couldn’t count them all. Women from California to Maryland, Texas to Illinois. And the profile said he’s been on the site even when he knew me. That’s foul. I never totally felt that he was stepping out on me, but now it’s obvious certain things weren’t right with him. I truly wish that the good and honorable parts of him could have been evident 100 percent of the time, instead of 50 percent.

“Well, in light of what London says, I am willing to face whatever is in store for me by pretending that I’m her.”

We stop chatting and enjoy the evening’s cool breeze as we stand by my front door. I guiltily glance toward the living room window. Through the curtains I can see shadows of my sister, hugging a pillow, looking dreamily at the television. I feel sad when I realize her fantasy is about to come to an end.

“Are we ready to make the call?” London pulls out a cheat sheet that I typed up for her. She is familiar with all my favorites that I listed on the dating site. And I told her it’s okay with me if she wants to fabricate any other information once she finally talks to Jeff. I really don’t care anymore.

“Well, even though I doubt Marlene can hear us out here, let’s walk down these stairs just in case,” I say.

Once we’re on the first level, I recite the 1-800 number and give London the okay sign.

“Put him on speaker,” Alita says.

“Good idea.” London presses a button and we hear a line ringing. It rings four times, then a voice comes on. “You’ve
reached J.A.W. Enterprises. Leave your name and number to get a call back.”

The voice mail indicator beeps so fast that London looks startled, but she quickly recovers. “Hello, this is Honey-BrownTX. We met on SoulSingles. I’m giving you a call to see what you’re up to. Call me back. I’m sure you see my number on caller ID. Lock me in so you’ll know how to reach me. I look forward to hearing from you. Stay sweet.”

She disconnects the line.

“Hmm, that must be a business cell. I don’t think he had that when we were together.”

“You learn something new every day,” Alita says.

“London, did you make sure your voice mail has a generic greeting on it in case Jeff tries to call you back?” I ask.

“Absolutely. I never record my own voice on cell phone greetings,” London replies. “Well, I guess we should be heading out. It’s getting very late, and it’s about time Alita took me home. We’ll be in touch, Rachel. Stay on your grind.”

“Sure enough. Thanks for everything, both of you. I owe you big-time.”

I wave bye and go back in the apartment. Marlene is snoring with her mouth wide open. The closing credits are going off from
The Break-Up
movie. It’s after midnight. I stare at my sister through the darkness. There’s a look of contentment on her face. Who am I to interrupt her moments of happiness? God knows they don’t come often or easily, not for any of us. Yet I think she deserves to know the truth.

I tap her on the shoulder.

“Sis, get up. You need to get in your own bed.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Wake up, Marlene.”

“Nooo, I don’t know what he’s doing.”

“Huh? You’re talking in your sleep?”

“I found that money so it’s mine.”

I giggle and lean close to her ear, so close I can hear her breathing. “Your man is a two-timer, did you know that?”

She tries to shift and turn to the other side, but winces. “Ouch.”

“Hmm, your little ankle must be hurting. Maybe it’s best you sleep on the couch. Doesn’t look like you’ll be going to work in the morning.”

She snorts loudly, sounding like a hog. Unable to resist myself, I press my mouth close to her ear, “Jeffrey Williams is cheating on you.”

Marlene’s eyes pop open. She sits up and squints at me. “Did you say something?”

“I said you should go get in your own bed. That’s what I said.”

“What time is it?”

“Almost twelve-thirty.”

“Oh, shoot. Hand me my cell.” Her phone is sitting nearby on the coffee table. I pick it up, and she snatches the phone from my hand.

She opens the phone. “Dang, I can’t believe this. He told me …” She looks up at me and attempts to hide her true feelings.

“Did you enjoy the dinner that Jeff brought over to you tonight?”

“What? Oh, yeah. It was cool. He totally surprised me.”

“I’ll bet he did.”

“He’s doing a lot better.”

“Oh, yeah,” I say and sit on the edge of the couch so that I’m facing her. “What’s he doing better? Care to be specific?”

“Um, just in general. Nothing specific. I like how things are progressing.”

“That’s good. I’m glad for you.”

“Are you really?” she says, looking doubtful.

“Yeah, if this is the man you think you wanna be with, and there’s no one out there better than Jeff, then you get what you deserve.”

“What?”

“I mean, you two are meant for each other. It’s fate.”

“Oh, all right. Thanks.” She doesn’t sound too convincing.

“Anyway, just thought I’d see if you were going to get in your bed. I’m about to get in mine. See ya later, Marlene.” I go on to bed and fall asleep fairly quickly. When I wake up in the morning, Marlene is still spread out on the couch snoring loud. It’s like she’s superglued to the fabric. I wonder if she even got up to use the restroom.

It’s eight o’clock, so I figure Marlene must have called in sick. I check my e-mail. COCKY247 has written twice. And London has texted me. She wants me to call when I get a chance. But I see my mama called me at six this morning, which is unusual for her. She knows I don’t get up until after seven. I pick up my phone and redial her.

“Hey Little Bit. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for the longest.”

“Well, I just woke up, but—”

“No, I mean for a long time. Longer than just the past twelve hours. You hear what I’m saying?”

“I-I guess so. What’s up?”

“There’s something I want to show you … tell you. Stop over here before you go to work. But come now if you can.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, may as well get it over with.”

“Is this something that can be done over the phone, Mama?”

“Never.”

Confused, I tell her I’ll be right over. I take my shower and skip breakfast. On the way over to my mama’s, Alita calls.

“You getting ready for work?” she asks.

“No, where are you, Alita?”

“I’m on my break. Let me call London and click her in on the conversation. She and I talked a bit last night, and you need to hear this.”

“Oh, great,” I say and instantly feel uncomfortable. My shoulders feel hard as concrete. This isn’t good. Why does everything have to happen all at the same time?

Alita comes back on the line.

“Okay, London, real quick. Tell her.”

“Hey Rachel, good morning. Girl, your ex is a piece of work. He actually called me at, like, almost one-thirty in the morning, talking about how he’s been working like a slave with no benefits all day, which to me doesn’t make a bit of sense. But he was turning on the charm big-time. He told me how much he loves the way my voice sounds, like a sweet little kitten. He said I look so good in my picture that he could practically feel the softness of my skin. And he told me my photo looks better than Kim Kardashian, but he prefers to see me in person.”

“Oh, did he now?”

“He kept asking me my real name, but I wouldn’t tell him. Oh, and we talked quite a while, and eventually the conversation turned to sex. And he says he loves to spend time with a cuddy buddy, and he’s long overdue for some sex. I wanted to laugh. So typical. Your boy ended the conversation by telling me he’s a millionaire in the making, and he wants a woman by his side who complements his lifestyle.”

“Oh, brother. So what did you say to him?”

“I was mostly listening. Trying to read between the lines. I asked him about getting his heart broke. He said that women always mess up when they have a good man; he said a woman will go up a hill and down a road trying to find a way to screw up her relationship, because she doesn’t always feel confident enough to be with a king. Told me everybody can’t be a Beyoncé and Jay-Z.”

“He’s comparing himself to Jay-Z? And he thinks he’s a king now?” I ask. “King of Bullshit, that’s what he is.”

“So,” London continues, chuckling, “he kept saying he wants to see me tonight. That’s kind of fast. I told him I’ll have to get back with him on that. Oh, and he sent me another photo. Shirtless, girl. He’s packing. I was shocked.” We laugh and I grow even more uncomfortable. It’s like I’m sharing my secrets, things that ought to be private.

“Let me know how to proceed as far as this date thing is concerned. I got something for his ass,” London says, laughing hysterically. I give a weak laugh and get off the phone. It’s time to see what my mama wants.

I go in through the side door and find her in the kitchen gulping from a shot glass.

“Mama, isn’t it a little too early in the morning to be doing all that?” I grab the glass from her and take a sniff. “Whiskey?” I say and crinkle my nose. “You must really be on something. This is not like you.”

“Well, I, you know—”

“God, you’re acting weird. Just tell me. Is it about Blinky?”

“No, no.”

“Loretta?”

“Naw, not Loretta.”

“Marlene?”

“Nooo, not her, either.”

“Mama, just spit it out.”

“I can’t spit it out, that’s why I had to write it out. Go on ahead. Read this.”

She holds out a handwritten letter. I recognize her tiny lettering. My heart beats wildly inside of me. “You read. I’m going in the kitchen. I’ll be back later.”

“No, Mama, don’t leave me now. You’re scaring me, and I want you to be here with me.”

She gives me a stony look, but her feet remain planted on the kitchen tile. I take a deep breath and start reading.

My Dearest Little Bit,
You got no idea how hard it is for me to right this. I thought about it mini times, but never had the guts to tell you. But I no your in pain. And your pain is spreadin to other people. As a real woman, I gotta do what I gotta do. First, I love you with all my heart. I wood never try to hurt you on purpus. But you should no that …

Oh, God, I think inside. What on earth could my mama want to tell me?

A long time ago, when you first met jeff, he tried to go with me.

My hands are shaking so much, and I’m holding Mama’s letter so tight that the flimsy piece of paper is getting wrinkled. Where did Jeff try to go with my mom?

He looked at me, told me that you musta got your prettyness from me. He called me Ma. Asked if it was okay to call me that. I said sure. Then he moved closer and closer to me. He touched my face.

What?

He leaned down and smiled at me. I didn’t like kissing him at all, I swair Rachel. I spat right after it was over. Spat his poison all on my kitchen floor. I told him to get out. No, I said to get the fuck out. He looked scared. He asked, What’s wrong Ma? I said, Ma? You must mean Manipyoulation. Don’t be calling me Ma. He made me promise not to tell you. And I said ok. But jeff is not pryority You are. I am sorry to tell you. But he’s a bad man. I am glad you didn’t marry jeff.

I’ve read the last word and I’m standing in the middle of my mother’s living room with my mouth so wide open an entire fist could fit in it. I press my knuckles against my mouth, shove my fist in my mouth. And I scream.

“Afhgh, sheiooo, weiwot.” None of the words I’m trying to say make sense. But the words streaking across my mind do.

What kind of mess is this?

My Jeff?

And my mama?

Had a thing?

Right under my nose.

My vision is so blurry that the words from my mama’s letter disappear before my eyes. But the memory of her confession remains glued in my soul.

I stand there screaming with my fist in my mouth I don’t know how long. After a while, I feel my mama standing behind me. Feel her little skinny hands clutch me from
behind. She pulls me into her body. Like she’s trying to protect me.

I swing around, take my fist out my mouth, and push her so hard she flies back a few steps.

“Don’t touch me,” I scream at the top of my lungs. “You’re an awful person. You’re not even a person. You’re an awful
thing
. You are a million times worse than Loretta.”

Mama’s eyes grow so huge I can see fear wrapped tightly around them. I’m glad she’s scared. No other way she ought to feel right now except scared.

“Don’t you ever talk to me again in your life! We’re through!”

And I walk out.

— 16 —
M
ARLENE

Chain of Fools

I’ve managed to drop
down to the carpet and crawl from the living room to my bedroom. I felt guilty for calling in sick, but I need to rest and stay off this ankle. Only thing is it’s hard trying to do things around the house by myself. Rachel’s gone to work. I can’t get Jeff on his cell. I wish I could take back the ten times I’ve called him. But technology proves a woman’s desperation. The missed calls will show up on his phone. He may begin to despise me if he thinks I need him too much.

As much as I don’t want to do this, I’m going to have to swallow my pride and take a chance. I am lying in my bed with the covers off so my ankle can get some air. My tiny portable TV that doesn’t get the clearest picture is on, but I don’t care about any television show that’s on right now. My stomach is growling, and my underarms are wet with perspiration. So many needs, so few answers.