My Soul to Take (17 page)

Blood to Heart. It was just as simple as it sounded actually. Except it had to be done with intent, as all magic did. Re's speech had not only changed my mind about making the oath, it had changed how I felt about it. If I was going to do it, I'd do it right; with love and happiness, as I had entered our marriage.

So the very next day, we made our oaths, standing in a circle in our bedroom. No fancy ritual was needed, just us and our devotion to each other. I cut the pad of Odin's thumb and he placed it on my chest, over my heart. I felt the magic in his blood seep into my skin and then much further. I inhaled sharply as a crisp breeze blew threw me and Odin spoke inside my head.

My blood to your heart.

Brief but full of emotion. His words in my mind cemented the oath and it blossomed through my veins like a shot of Net. Except this drug freed me instead of enslaving. Still, it was addicting. I wanted more of it, more of him; the god who had defied death for me.

Odin's thumb fell away and I looked down to see that there was no blood on my skin, it had been completely absorbed. His hand went to my cheek and we shared a smile.

“This is the second time for us,” Odin studied my face as if he were searching for Sabine within it. “Do you remember?”

“No, I-” but I stopped because suddenly, I did. “Yes, I do. We were lying in the grass. I remember the clouds were so thick, the whole sky was nearly white but still, the sun shone through them.”

“And I asked you what your thoughts were on,” he nodded.

“I said; Heaven,” I whispered.

“And I asked you to live there with me,” he sighed. “You accepted and I told you about the oath. Do you recall what you said then?”

“Yes. I told you that if it meant you'd stop pestering me about my thoughts, I'd give you as much blood as you wanted.”

My other husbands burst into surprised laughter.

“So you haven't changed much,” Trevor said to me.

“No,” Odin answered for me. “She's the same woman I've always loved. Neither time nor magic could change her.”

“That's kind of comforting,” I kissed Odin's cheek and then turned to Azrael. “You ready?”

“I thought you'd never ask,” Az grinned.

I cut his thumb for him and he placed it over my heart. The thumping heartbeat in my ears turned into the whoosh of wings and I closed my eyes as Azrael's magic flew through my body. A flash of snow... no; bone. It formed into a smiling skull crying acid tears, like the masks of Comedy and Tragedy combined. Then it turned into the sweet visage of my angel, his name blazing blue on his cheek in angelic script. The divine language brightened until all I saw was the word. Its mystery fell away and I was able to read it for the very first time

His name became a part of me, so that not only did I read it but I possessed its true meanings. That script encompassed all of his names, not just Azrael but also Izrail, Azrin, Izrael, Azriel, Azrail, Ezraeil, Azraille, Azryel, Ozryel, Azraa-eel, and even the title of Malak al-Maut; Angel of Death. And those names declared all that he was; mercy, compassion, protection... and vengeance. It was both a sign of hope and a warning. But to me, it was simply the man I loved.

My blood to your heart,
Azrael's voice filled my mind and washed away the image of his name.

I swayed and two pairs of hands caught me, steadied me. I looked up into shimmering peacock eyes set beside eyes of flashing diamonds. I knew the minds behind those eyes, knew what they were thinking and feeling. These weren't like my bonds with my shifters, they didn't manifest into something substantial such as an animal shape. I didn't hold a part of their souls like I did with Trevor or hold the magic that sustained them like with Kirill. But Odin and Azrael had become just as solid inside me as Trevor and Kirill were. I could see their presence and even feel it. Odin's was an amethyst cloud, a misty form which was nonetheless heavy with intensity. Azrael's was lighter in weight and brilliant white, it would have been blinding if I'd been using my physical eyes to view it. I luxuriated in the feeling of having them with me and then I lifted my hands.

Odin cut my left thumb and I placed it carefully to his chest, right above his heart. He shivered and closed his eyes as my consciousness flowed into him. My magic rushed ahead of me and found a place to anchor us, a hold on the greatest god of the Northmen. I felt suddenly possessive; like thrusting a flag into newly discovered land. I had him now, he was all mine, and I wasn't ever going to let go. Not this time.

My blood to your heart,
I spoke into his head and felt him sigh in satisfaction.

I pulled myself reluctantly out of my newly claimed territory and took a deep, stabilizing breath. Then I turned to my angel and nodded. Azrael cut the pad of my thumb with a swift movement of his blade. I watched the blood well up and then caught Azrael's stare as I placed my hand to his chest. He flinched and gasped as the magic zinged out of me, ready and waiting this time to do its job. It was eager to collect more, to take our men and make them truly ours. Marriage could be dissolved but this, this was eternal.

I found the hold I needed and set the oath;
My blood to your heart.

Azrael took a shaky breath and opened his eyes as I withdrew. I met his stare and for the briefest moment, I saw myself, as if I were looking through his eyes. He smiled, as if he knew what I'd seen and was happy to share his sight with me. I gave Azrael a gentle kiss and then I turned around to face my shifters.

As I had callously noted to Trevor, they couldn't give me their oath but as Trevor had pointed out; their bond was already mine. I felt them inside me, rising up in anticipation of sealing our circle and making our oaths complete. Balance, that's what was needed, and I gaped at them as I realized that this could be exactly what my lioness and wolf needed to feel more stable.

“Vervain?” Trevor asked, his honey eyes starting to look concerned.

“I think this might help my star,” I whispered in awe. “At the very least, it will calm my wolf and lioness.”

“You're right,” Kirill held out his hand to me. “I can see her. She calls to me.”

“So does my wolf,” Trevor lifted his hand as well.

I went to them and took their offered hands. Trevor made the first cut, slicing over the already healing wound that Odin had made on my left hand. He held my hand and guided it to his heart. My wolf raced up to the surface and flowed into him through my blood. She rushed forward with the spark of magic that would fuel the oath. Trevor cried out as his soul was briefly united, shivering through the rush it gave him. But this wolf was no longer entirely his, she was mine, altered by me into a female. So she didn't just unite with him, she latched on. My wolf bit deeply into his and marked him as Trevor was always marking me. But this mark wouldn't fade, it would scar and serve as my link to Trevor forever.

I gave my consciousness to my wolf, merging with her until I saw Trevor through her eyes; the majesty that was VéulfR, Prince of the Froekn and First Born Son of the Great Wolf God. It was all window dressing though. We knew the real man, the man who gave up eternity for love of us, of me.

My blood to your heart,
I spoke into his mind and Trevor shivered through the settling oath.

After a quick lick at the wound she'd made, my wolf raced home, taking me back into myself. I waited for her to settle into a contented sprawl before I opened my eyes and turned to Kirill.

He smiled gently, patiently waiting for me to let him know that I was ready. When I nodded to him, he sliced into my right thumb and then lowered his hands to his sides, wanting me to take make the oath on my own. So different from Trevor and yet they were the closest of my husbands, almost like brothers. I placed my thumb to Kirill's chest and his eyes closed in pleasure.

He inhaled deep, his palm going over my thumb, holding me to him now that I had made my choice. My lioness roared in happiness and lifted up inside me, rushing forward to leap into our lover through the seeping blood. I felt her leave me and I raced after her. As my consciousness tried to catch up with my lioness, I caught images like dust from her path. I saw Kirill's transition into an Intare.

He had been hunted, taken down by the lioness and then offered a choice. He could live forever through her and she would sustain him. Or he could die and fill her belly, sustaining her. The magic required that he be willing but it didn't seem to mind if that willingness were coerced. So yes, Kirill had made an oath to the lioness magic and when I became his goddess, his oath was transferred to me. But this was the first time he was completely willing in their bond and the lioness magic sensed that. It sensed it and rejoiced in it. So when I caught up with this wild piece of myself, she was more than willing to join with me to make our black lion truly ours. We sank our teeth into his heart but this time, instead of taking his blood, we gave him ours.

She had taken the oath to a deeper level, making the words as true as they could be, and we claimed Kirill's heart as if for the very first time, even though it had long been ours. I saw him clearly then; the layers of pain Nyavirezi had left upon him were washed away until he was bare before me; the true Kirill. As regal as a king, as humble as a saint. Kirill had the mind of a ruler, he knew how to mould and manipulate men. He was bold and strong, with the ability to simply take what he wanted. He had passion that could rage into all aspects of his world and inspire others to follow him. But he had the heart of healer. Not the talent but the heart. He wanted to help instead of hurt. He may feel things intensely but he would never act rashly upon his emotions. He cared too much to do so. It was this control and compassion that would have made him not only a good king but a great one.

But the world was denied this Great Tzar. The Prince was stolen and abused. He was broken and left for dead. Layers of trauma coated him, insanity claimed him, but still, it had taken only a few days for Kirill to find his way back to the surface of himself. He swears that I saved him but that's only partially true. I couldn't have helped him if he'd been a lesser man. Or if he hadn't wanted to be saved. Kirill was too strong to ever truly be broken. And now he was mine.

My blood to your heart,
I gave him myself in return, bleeding into the bite of my lioness.

Then my lioness pulled back, happy with what we'd accomplished, and she snuggled down inside me. I was content too, grateful and relieved that this had been so much better than I'd thought it would be. I was smiling as my wolf and my lioness sank into slumber, thinking that this had been just what I needed to control those volatile beasts. Maybe keeping the peace between them would be easier now.

But I hadn't considered what the calm of two beasts would do to the remaining third. The beast who had been repressed inside me for centuries, who truly
was
me. My dragon part of my dragon-sidhe essence. She had finally been released from my mother's spell, only to find invaders in her home. My star had united them, forged an alliance, but when it broke, so did that alliance and now there was a sort of Mexican standoff within me. When the lion and wolf had united against my dragon to keep her from shifting to save my sons, that standoff had vanished. The dragon had been overtaken. But now her opponents were sleeping and sated, giving her the perfect opportunity for revenge.

A violent roar echoed through me as my dragon rose up. I had one second to stare at Kirill in horror before my dragon's vengeance sent me screaming to my knees. She flung about inside me, physically sending me tumbling into Odin's legs, and then she set her claws to my lioness. I could hear the men shouting, feel their hands on my arms and waist, but I couldn't speak to reassure them. My focus was centered on my dragon and my ears were full of the pitiful screams of my lioness.

If the dragon won and killed the lioness, my Intare magic would die. And then my lions would die. I knew it with utter certainty. This was her goal, the brilliant deviousness of my dragon. She had waited for the perfect time to strike, coldly planning to destroy her enemy when the chance arose. With the lioness dead, she'd easily kill the wolf and then I would be completely hers. The issue of a broken star wouldn't worry her anymore. Nor would the needs of my other beasts.

The calculated reasoning of the reptilian mind was chilling. Even more so when I considered the fact that it was a layer of my own mind. Was I truly capable of this; this insidious scheming and heartless murder? Was this who I really was?

Then I heard the bean-nighe again, remembered what she'd said about controlling my beasts. I had done this before and I could do it again.
I
was the ruler of the world within me and if my subjects were acting up, then it was time to regulate. So I roared inside myself, roared with my own voice, not that of any of my beasts, and the dragon went silent. She pulled away from the lioness and stared up at me surprise. We faced off within me and I bared my resolve to her as if baring my teeth in warning.

We were one, one being of separate pieces, and this whole internal fighting thing was getting old. I expressed my love for her, the honor I felt to be a dragon-sidhe, and the hope I had for our future. We would darken the sky of Faerie with our wings, us and our children. But only if she could stop fighting against me and start supporting me. The lioness and the wolf gave us strength and they only attacked her in order to defend themselves. We needed to repair our star and then all of them could come forth again. The star would help our family, our sons and our husbands. We needed the star and we needed the other beasts.