My Stepbrothers Rock: Headliner (3 page)

We pant and hold each other kissing. I'm amazed we're here and wish we never had to leave. Well except for that part where we realize we have lives and people will be looking for us.

“Jesus Morgan, that was amazing.” I smile down into her face.

“More than amazing.” Her eyes glisten and a tear rolls from the corner of her eye.

“Oh, God, Morgan are you alright?” This can't be happening, I think to myself.

“Yes, of course silly rockstar.” She giggles through a sob. I watch her confused. “It's just, I've dreamed about this for so long. That's all.”

I smile, knowing exactly what she means. I can only hope we don't have to wait this long for the next time.

The sound of my cell phone startles me. I grab it to see Brendan's number on the screen, but decline to answer. I know I'm late for practice, but I've waited too long for this moment with Morgan.

I turn my attention to kissing her again and we lay holding each other for awhile. Her touch is so comforting, makes me forget about the hectic life I lead. I wish I could stay here forever or better yet, take her with me. There's nothing I wouldn't give to be in her embrace every day, to feel like I could go some place safe where I didn't have to worry about performing for anyone, just stay with the one who knew me and loved me for who I was.

My phone goes off again, this time texts from a variety of people, but Grant's is the only one that matters.

Hey, I need you to drop whatever you're fucking and head to the venue. I really don't want to have to be there to smooth shit over for you again.

“Whatever,” I say under my breath.

“Is everything okay?” Morgan asks brushing the hair away from my face.

“Yeah, but we've gotta cut it short. Sorry.” The words sound so cliché. I see the look in Morgan's eyes and I wouldn't be surprised if she burst into tears.

“It's okay. My fantasy has already been more than I expected.” She smiles into my eyes. I hope it's the truth and not just something she's saying to make me feel better.

I roll her over on top of me and kiss her again. “Mine too.”

I'm totally buzzing over what just happened with Alex. No, scratch that. I'm totally freaking the fuck out! I'm glad in more ways than one and relieved and happy and confused. I guess I didn't realize having sex with him would open up a huge box of emotions. Emotions I didn't think applied to me or us because we're so in love. I wonder if Alex feels them too? Does he feel like we're one now, like we're together? I hope so because that's the page I'm on.

We head to the venue speeding along the highway as the sun sets behind us. Alex's phone keeps beeping and I'm sure it's his band mates wondering where he is, but he's not responding except to drive faster. Every now and then he looks at me and smiles, but we ride in silence as if we're both still in shock from our quick and furious love making. Quick and furious. The words make me giggle to myself, a vision of Alex vibrating between my legs in a sloppy love making pose.

“What's so funny?” Alex asks while down shifting and exiting off the freeway.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how I'd imagined my first time and how different it turned out to be.” I didn't really know how much to say, so stopped myself before sounding like a whiny girlfriend.

“What did you imagine it to be?” His brows are furrowed as he looks at me then the road.

“I just thought it would be maybe, longer? Or, you know, it's something I guess I fantasized about for so long that I thought everything would be perfect, the setting, the location, the sex.” I'm not sure where I'm even going with this except it's getting deeper than I think I should go at the moment.

Alex is quiet, watching the road. I'm not sure if he's mulling over what I just said or trying to read street signs and keep from getting us lost.

“Are you disappointed?” We pull up to a stoplight and he looks at me waiting for an answer.

“No, of course not.” I lie knowing I'd like to re-run the whole episode. Yeah, I knew I was coming to meet him and go to his concert and, of course, have sex because that's what I've dreamed would happen, but I can't shake the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am feeling.

“Cool, me neither.” He runs his finger down my nose and smiles. We make a few more turns and pull into the parking lot at the back of a huge building. Alex rolls his window down and shows the parking attendant a piece of paper. We're waved into a lane that shoots us straight to the back of the venue where we park.

“Come on,” he instructs. We exit the car and quickly head to the back door where Alex produces a laminated badge and shows it to the guard. He barely has the door open when two teen girls approach us from behind screaming Alex's name. Each grab an arm and shove me out of the way. They're giggling, crying, waving photos of him begging for autographs.

I stand to the side in shock that he's already this popular, but then I'm not sure what else I expected. I've maintained a blog pretty much outlining their every move, posting every photo and blowing their horn every week for the past two years. Maybe a part of me didn't think it would actually happen, at least not on this level.

Alex seems shocked too, but I can't tell if it's because the girl's startled him or he's flattered they know who he is and have the balls to scale a fence past security to meet him. Either way, he seems to be enjoying the moment posing with the girls for a selfie and graciously accepting their kisses before security pulls them back to their reality, behind the fence.

“Where the fuck have you been?” A voice asks Alex as he leads us inside. I recognize the tone and raise my eyes to see Ian. “What the hell? Morgan? They released you for the night?” Ian picks up where he left off two years earlier sauntering over to me draping his arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah, nice to see you,” I chuckle trying hard not to duck out from under his touch. Maybe I'll play the game and make him believe there's nothing to see in the fact my brother and I showed up together late in the evening, never mind the scent of sex I can still taste on my tongue.

“So this is where you've been. Alex, you made my dreams come true.” Ian is gazing dreamily down into my face, his breath warm with the scent of alcohol. It somehow doesn't surprise me, but Alex's lack of protective boyfriend, or even stepbrother, action does. I assume, like me, he doesn't want to reveal we're an item until the time is right. I stall at the words floating through my brain.

When would the time be right?
I ask myself completely unaware of the conversation surrounding me or the fact I was walking to the band's dressing room. I hadn't given much thought to the concept of Alex and me having a relationship until now. I guess I always dreamed things would go differently, maybe Alex wouldn't pursue music, become popular or ever leave our small town. I think I envisioned us moving to a totally different place where people didn't know us and couldn't judge us by our past connection.

“Mic check was at three. We totally missed our chance to practice.” Brendan stands in front of Alex hands on his hips.

“Well, I'm sure we'll be fine.” Alex is more reserved than I remember. Walking swiftly to a room at the end of the hall. We all follow, Ian's arm still around me, his hand dangling inches from boob. I swear if he even so much as grazes my chest I'm going to punch him in the ribs.

“How can you say that? This is our biggest gig yet!” Brendan runs his hands through his hair as if there's a serious situation here.

“Because we were fine last night Wanda Worrier.” Alex pokes fun slapping Brendan on the shoulder.

“Yeah, well you think it's all fun and games off doing whatever with your sister while we sit here like idiots not knowing what to do.” Brendan grabs his guitar and slings it over his shoulder. “Shit, I wish Grant came with us, but no, you had to piss him off too.”

“Dude, Grant's always kinda pissed off.” Ian chimes in laughing. I can't say he's drunk, but I seriously question his ability to bang the drums tonight. Then again, how hard can it be.

“Because you're fucking drunk half the shows and Alex doesn't bother showing up until the goddamn minute we go on stage.” Brendan adds.

I shoot Alex a look wondering if there's any truth to Brendan's comment. It wouldn't surprise me as they were on tour with The Arctic Monkeys for six months before joining The Keys tour. Alex rolls his eyes and looks away.

“What's got your panties in a wad anyway? Didn't get laid last night?” Alex pulls his t-shirt off changing right in front of me. I look away before anyone notices I'm staring at the body I just kissed, tasted, loved.

“Fuck you Alex. It's not all about you, you know. I'm going to the stage to tune. If you guys wanna sound like shit, be my guest.” Brendan storms out of the room leaving the door open.

“Well, I guess that's my cue. See you after the show Catholic school girl.” Ian grabs his sticks and heads out the door followed by Randy who's only eyed me since I got here, too busy plucking the strings on his bass.

“Sorry, M. Band shit's always fun. I couldn't possibly tell them anything though. You understand, right?” Alex stands in front of me talking in a low tone.

“Sure, but there's not much to tell besides the fact you picked me up to see your concert.” I wasn't quite sure what Alex was eluding to. Did he think I was hoping he would tell them about us? I didn't want to ask fearing we'd be overheard or worse, he'd say something I wasn't sure I wanted to hear.

“Exactly.” He smiles into my face and for a second I move to kiss him, but stop myself. Alex moves back and chuckles. “We don't have much time before the show starts. I may not be able to make it back to you, but you can watch me from the side of the stage.”

“Um, okay.” I stammer, questions floating in my mind.
Am I totally on my own here?
I wonder.

“Don't worry. I'll find you after our set and we can watch the Keys from the side of the stage. Best seats in the house.” Alex's words relieve me. For a second I was thinking this whole night might be going down the tubes, at least in reference to my love life.

“Okay, I'll be here.” I smile and twist nervously, my hands stuffed in my back pockets. Alex ruffles my hair and I immediately feel twelve years old again. It wouldn't have mattered except that I wasn't. I was eighteen and about to graduate. I was a woman, one he'd just slept with because he's in love with me and I him. So why does it feel so strange?

Alex leads me to an area at the side of the stage. The band is tuning their guitars while Ian slaps the the drums. I can hear the shuffle and hum of the crowd as they stand waiting. I step forward to peek through a crack in the curtain and my stomach gets butterflies. I can't imagine being on stage in front of this many people and wonder how Alex keeps his composure.

“Check, check, check.” Alex's voice booms over the mic. The crowd cheers. Even with the curtain down they recognize the rockstar warming his vocal chords. Alex says something to the band and they nod their heads. Ian clacks his sticks together and they launch into one of their songs. Alex's voice is subdued and it seems as though he's not singing to capacity, but then, what do I know. The band gives him funny looks as they continue to play. About mid way through, Alex gives the kill signal and everyone stops. Stage hands are talking to the band and Alex nods his head. He turns and walks toward me.

“Hey, how about you move to the other side of the stage. The view is better.” He winks at me, his head tilted to one side, it reminds me of teen Alex.

“Okay.” I reply walking to the back of the stage and around to the other side. I didn't know why he was asking me to move, but I wasn't about to argue seeing as how I wasn't even supposed to be here and he was my only ally.

“How's everyone doin' tonight? You ready for some fuckin' amazing music tonight?” The MC stands at the front of the stage, the curtain behind him. The crowd cheers wildly. “Well, before we get to the Keys we're gonna let ya hear a little somethin' from a band that's blazing out of the Indie saddle and straight up the charts. Welcome Walker Heights!”

The band bursts into one of their most popular songs as the curtain rises. My heart is beating wildly as I watch. Alex is jumping and singing, moving his way to the front of the stage the microphone cupped in his hands as he builds to the chorus.

I watch in wonder as he becomes the rockstar I'd always teased him of being. The crowd reaching and holding their hands out, girls screaming and I think some even crying as they push against the steel barriers. I'm sure they'd be giving each other a lift onto the stage if not for the distance between them.

I sway to the beat and find myself singing along.
“You're such a groupie,”
I say to myself. I quickly strike it and replace
“groupie”
with “
girlfriend
.” Of course, I have to insert
“secret”
in front of it, but know it won't be for long. We're in shock and in love and I have no doubts Alex and I can one day live a normal life, whatever that is.

The song ends and Alex turns around heading back to Ian's platform where he grabs his water bottle and takes a long drink. He places it next to the bass drum and tosses me a smile and a wink before counting the guys off and belting out my next favorite hit.

The butterflies are almost choking me as he croons the words into the mic. It's the song I heard him sing at his last practice. Well, the last one I heard before being shipped off like cargo. I always felt like it was for me and tonight was no different.

I close my eyes as I rock in his lyrics. I imagine I'm lifting my shirt and showing my bare breasts from the front of the stage in appreciation of his musical ability as I remember those chic's did in the Bon Jovi video.

Alex hits the groovy note and I open my eyes to the worst sight I can imagine – my older stepbrother Grant peering at me from the other side of the stage.

I freeze under his gaze.
Shit! What now?
I wonder. I contemplate running, but to where? It wouldn't matter any way as he's already seen me. I gulp and manage a slight smile. Grant glares at me in disbelief then leaves his position. I'd win a million dollar bet that he was on his way to me. I wish so badly Alex wasn't stuck on stage for another handful of songs. I'm watching him to see if he'll glance my way, but he's knee deep in his rising stardom.

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” Grant yells into my face loud enough for me to hear him. He's got a small smile on his face as if he can't wait to be amused by my response.

“Uh, hi Grant! I, uh, won tickets.” It was the first idea to pop out of my mouth. Probably because I was considering offering a free give away on the blog, but I couldn't scrape together enough money for even one ticket.

“Uh huh. How'd you get here? On top of that, how'd you get out of school?” Two questions I was hoping he would wait to ask me or just scratch all together. After quickly running over the available answers in my mind, I decided it was best to keep the ball rolling.

“I hopped a train. You know, got a cab and here I am!” He'd be none the wiser. Besides, it's not like he kept tabs on me at school or knew anything about me and my life.

Grant studies me. I glance nervously at Alex on stage, totally oblivious to the third degree questioning I'm under. Grant looks at Alex, then back to me. I'm too nervous to hold his stare and questioning looks.

“Come on. We've gotta get you back before they call mom and dad for verification.” Grant is staring at me, one arm on my shoulder the other gesturing toward the door.