My Stubborn Heart (32 page)
But what God had actually been saying to her was no and then not yet.
His plan had been for Matt to return to his hockey, which meant that three months ago had been the wrong time for them. God had needed these past months to work on them both. To get them where He wanted them to be.
But nowâ
now
âwas the time for them.
Yes, God? Am I understanding you?
Yes.
How like God to bless Matt with hockey and to bless her with him. It was far more than she'd hoped for and far more than she deserved. She'd had so little faith. When she'd left Matt behind, she'd stopped trusting God, been willing to turn her back on Him. While God had only, ever, this whole time, been working for her good.
The thought humbled her deeply. Even in the face of her rebellion, He'd still given her this gift. Matt. The best of all gifts.
I'm sorry
, she prayed. Followed by,
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
her heart filling to bursting with gratitude.
“Remember what you told me about that little old couple who go on walks together in your neighborhood?” Matt asked. “The man whose wife has Alzheimer's?”
“I remember.”
“I've thought about that so many times.”
Kate studied him.
“I want to be that guy.”
She smiled. “Are you sure? He's bald as a cue ball.”
Matt grinned, a rugged, slightly uneven grin that took her breath away. “I'm sure. I want to be that guy for you. Your forever guy.”
“A âtill death do us part' kind of thing?”
“Yes.”
What had she ever done to get so lucky? Nothing. Yet here he was, saying these amazing things to her, things to build her future on. “I don't believe I've mentioned this yet, but I love you.” She let a beat of quiet pass. “Even if you can't play poker.”
He threw back his head and laughed. When he looked back at her, his once wounded brown eyes shone bright with humor and affection. “And I love you, even though you have asthma attacks just walking around the block.”
She laughed. “Then I guess we'll be okay.”
“Yeah,” he said, his expression warm, “I think we will.”
The girl who'd been praying for a husband since the fourth grade was married that fall in the chapel at Chapel Bluff.
The light that poured through the round stained-glass window drenched the space in gold, pink, pale green, and peach. It haloed the couple who stood at the front of the building, holding hands while they spoke their vows.
The bride wore an elegant, straight, strapless white gown. Her red hair had been caught at the back of her neck in an elaborate knot. Diamond teardrops, a gift from her husband, glinted from her ears. The bouquet she held had been artfully created out of white roses and hydrangeas, because they reminded her of the first bouquet Matt had given to her.
The groom wore a stunning black tuxedo, a white rose boutonniere, and a persistent smile.
When the ceremony concluded, the close-knit group of family and friends made their way across the meadow beneath a sunset sky the color of honey and past a tapestry of trees brightly colored orange, yellow, and red.
After milling about inside the house to congratulate the couple, hug one another, and eat appetizers carried on silver trays, the party settled themselves at the round tables dotted through Chapel Bluff's first floor. White linens drifted downward from round tables while tall, thin candles reached upward from the floral centerpieces, their flames casting romantic light on the diners. Elegantly dressed waiters and waitresses moved through the group, bringing course after course of extravagant food. It was the first wedding the old walls had seen in decades, and those who knew the house well could sense the grande dame's delight.
Velma and Morty were spotted holding hands under the table, and once, sharing an affectionate peck. Beverly reveled in her role as hostess, her blue eyes sparkling, her smile quick, her house and her heart full. Matt's mother spent the evening alternately wiping away tears and beaming at her son, well aware every moment that she was witnessing a miracle. God had heard and generously answered her most fervent prayer.
Kate's prayer, too, He had heard and answered. Her long wait for
the one
was over. He'd come. And he'd been worth the wait. She would have wept with joy and appreciation and wonder, except that she was too busy laughing and trying to imprint every detail of the evening into her memory for always.
As for Matt, he couldn't claim that Kate had been an answer to prayer. He hadn't asked for a wife because he'd been too far from God and too cold and grief-stricken even to consider such a thing back then.
No, for him Kate had been a blinding surprise. Unexpected.
Treasured.
The best thing that could have happened to him had been God's answer to a prayer he'd never prayed.
As he sat at their wedding dinner next to herâsharing words, cradling her hand in his, kissing her, smilingâemotion expanded inside of him, constricting his throat and stealing his voice. Huge and overwhelming.
It was love for her. Deep and fierce and true.
It was love.
Heaven sent.
Perfect.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more
than all we ask or imagine,
according to his power that is at work within us,
to him be glory.”
âEphesians 3:20â21a
- What do you think of when you hear the term
romance novel
? Is your immediate reaction positive or negative? - What are some of your favorite romantic movies, books, or TV shows? Why do you think those particular ones stand out so strongly in your memory?
- Can you remember some of the first romances that you ever read? Can you remember some of the first Christian novels that you ever read?
- What challenges do you think Becky Wade faced when she set out to write a book that would be on one hand a romance novel and on the other hand a Christian novel?
- While she's writing, Becky boils the theme of her book down to one word. That one word describes what her book is really about. What do you think that word was for
My Stubborn Heart
? - Consider the humor in the book. Where did it come from? Did any one element in the book strike you as particularly funny?
- Becky uses a few metaphors in
My Stubborn Heart
to represent the changing state of Matt's character. Can you think what those might be? - Over the course of the book, Becky writes from both Kate's and Matt's point of view. Did Matt's point of view feel authentic to you? Why or why not? How were Matt's sections written differently than Kate's sections?
- Do you know anyone who's experienced the loss of their spouse? Did they remain alone? Or did they move on and find a new relationship?
- What did you like or dislike about Kate's character? What particular facets of her personality were used by God to bring Matt “back to life”?
- At one point in the novel, Matt goes to his knees in the chapel before God and asks for forgiveness. If you found that scene moving, why did it strike you that way?
- Near the end of the book, Kate hears God say no to something she dearly longs for. Has God ever said no to you over something you desperately wanted? How was your relationship with God affected in the season that followed?
- How would you characterize Becky Wade's writer's voice? What elements of her storytelling style did or didn't work for you?
- Which scenes did you enjoy the most in
My Stubborn Heart
? Why?
Becky Wade
is a graduate of Baylor University. As a newlywed, she lived for three years in a home overlooking the turquoise waters of the Caribbean, as well as in Australia, before returning to the States. A mom of three young children, Becky and her family now live in Dallas, Texas. Visit
www.beckywade.com
to learn more about Becky, her writing, and a behind-the-scenes look at the creation of
My Stubborn Heart
.
