My Tomorrow (4 page)

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” he said and then looked over to me again. “I’m Drew Saben.” He extended his hand and I don’t know why, but I was hesitant to take it.  I did though and I discovered it was warm and soft and seemed to dwarf my own. 

“Natalie Vasser.  Nice to meet you, Mr. Saben,” I managed to mutter.

“Drew, please,” he said, smiling at me again. “Mind if I sit in on this one?” he asked, looking over to Leslie, who just nodded, her mouth now in a straight line.  It didn’t take a genius to see that Leslie didn’t like the direction this interview was taking.  She seemed to be the kind of woman who liked to be in control.

Drew sat down next to Leslie and as I stared across at them, I was exponentially more nervous now that Mr. Saben was sitting in on my interview, an interview I was growing more certain was going nowhere.

“I was just explaining to Natalie the responsibilities of the position,” Leslie said and Drew nodded, reaching over and sliding the file Leslie had been looking at in front of him.  His eyes darted quickly over my résumé and then looked up.

“University of Iowa?   Is Iowa home?”

“Yes, sir.  Cedar Rapids.”

“There’s some beautiful old architecture in Iowa.  The old basilicas are exquisite,” he said and I nodded, a slight smile spreading over my face as I thought about home. “What brings you to New York?”

I wasn’t quite sure what to say.  I didn’t want to tell him I’d followed my boyfriend here so he could follow his dream.  That might make me sound weak and stupid. 

“I wanted a new experience outside of Iowa and what better place to do that than New York?” I asked rhetorically.

“Very true.  What kind of experiences are you hoping to find in New York?” he asked and Leslie cleared her throat.  I glanced over to her and it was obvious she was growing more annoyed and didn’t want to hear the answers to this question a second time.

“Someday I’d like to work in a library or publishing.  New York offers the opportunity for all of those things.”

“That it does,” Drew nodded and smiled.

“Well, I don’t think I have any more questions for you, Miss Vasser.  We’ll be in touch within a couple of days,” Leslie interrupted, standing up and I was surprised at the sudden ending to the interview.  We’d barely spoken about the job or my qualifications.  She actually seemed anxious to get rid of me. 

“Okay. Thank you,” I said, standing up. “It was nice to meet you both.”

“You too,” Leslie said, shaking my hand.

“It was a pleasure,” Drew added, extending his hand to me.   

“I’ll show you out,” Leslie said.  Drew sat down and I followed her back through the office until we were at Christa’s desk. “We’ll be in touch.”

“Thanks again, Leslie,” I said, trying to get her to warm up to me, but even though she smiled, it was indifferent, and then she turned and headed back into the office. 

I sighed quietly, walking quickly to the elevators and waiting impatiently for the doors to open as I tried to forget about the interview.  I was a fool for getting my hopes up that I even had a chance.

It seemed like an eternity, but the elevator eventually arrived and I stepped inside, wishing I could disappear into the crowd.  I couldn’t though and I was relieved when the elevator landed on the ground floor and I flooded out with the rest of the people. 

I’d been in such a rush to get here, but now I walked slowly towards the subway entrance, almost at a snail’s pace.  I was surrounded by a sea of swift moving people, many carrying briefcases and holding cell phones to their ears.  Important people. Confident people.  People with jobs.  They all looked so put together and I’d never felt like more of a loser.  I doubted any of them were lame, unemployed Hawkeyes who’d just blown their first shot at a steady paycheck.  I just shook my head.  This was one interview.  If it didn’t pan out, something would.  Everything would work out.  Everything had to work out.

~~~

“Well?” Ethan asked the moment I walked in.

I shut the door, tossed my purse onto the table and fell onto the couch.  He walked over, lifted my legs up and sat down beside me as my legs fell across his lap.

“I’m waiting,” he said, gently brushing his fingertips over my shins. “How’d it go?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed truthfully.

“You have to have some kind of feeling.”

“I’m fairly certain I can rule out getting the position.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I completely blew it.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re exaggerating.  You have a tendency to do that,” he said and I just shot him a quick glare.

“You weren’t there, Ethan.  It sucked. The lady doing the interview hated me.”

“That’s impossible.  You’re unhateable.” I couldn’t help but smile at the silly grin he was giving me.  For some reason, Ethan had a difficult time acknowledging my faults, which were definitely plenty.  I guess that’s just what you do when you love someone.  

“You’re jaded, Ethan.  Not everyone loves me.”

“Impossible!” he exclaimed and I just burst out laughing.

“Can you be serious, please?”

“Fine.  I’m sorry.  Please tell me why you think you blew the interview.”

“Well, it started with Leslie.  I guess she’s the office manager and she’s the one who hates me.  You should’ve seen how she looked at me as we talked.  I know she thinks I’m completely inept.  She probably would’ve ended the interview almost instantly had Mr. Saben not walked in.”

“Mr. Saben, the boss?”

“Yes.  He was really nice.  He talked to me about Iowa a little actually. Said there’s lots of beautiful old architecture there…I think he was just being generous,” I laughed. “Then the interview just ended.  It was kinda weird.”

“I’m sure it went fine.  You need to have a little more faith in yourself.”

“You weren’t there though,” I sighed and then stood up and walked into the bedroom.  I took off the dress and changed into a pair of sweats and a tank top.  I grabbed a clip and was tying up my hair when Ethan walked in and slid his arms around me. 

“Just try and relax,” he said.

“I will.  I’m just wallowing in self pity for a little bit, but I’ll get over it.  If this doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world.”

“Exactly,” he said, kissing me sweetly and then walked over to the closet, pulling out his work clothes. 

“Do you think you’ll be late tonight?” I asked, knowing the answer, but hoping he would say no.  Feeling sorry for myself wouldn’t be as easy if he was with me. 

“I should be home by eleven or so,” he said, and I knew I was staring at him as he changed into the black slacks and shirt, disappointed when he covered himself up. 

“Lucky me,” I said, pulling my gaze from him and strolling out of the room and into the kitchen to make a sandwich. 

“Hey, don’t get down,” Ethan said a few moments later, following me into the kitchen. “You knew I was working tonight.”

“I know, but it gets lonely here,” I said, taking out my frustration on the peanut butter I was spreading on a piece of wheat bread, slopping it on a little too forcefully. 

“I’ve gotta work, Nat,” he sighed.

“I know,” I said, adding jelly to the other piece of bread. “I’m sorry.  I guess I’m just stressed over the interview and stuff.  I thought I would’ve found something by now.  It was so easy for you.”

“Let’s not compare you and me.  I got lucky and you will too.  Now stop being a brat and just relax, okay?” he said, smiling at me. “Now, I have to go.  I’ll see you tonight.”  He leaned over to kiss me and I dropped the knife I’d been using, wrapping my arms around his neck, moving my mouth more forcefully over his, as my hands dropped down slowly, running my fingertips over the waistband of his pants.  I slid my hand inside, hoping he wouldn’t mind being a little late for work.  I could tell he wanted me, but he jerked back.

“I have to get to work, Natalie,” he said, his voice low and breathy. 

“Can’t you be just a few minutes late?” I whispered, moving my hand back towards his pants, but he grabbed my wrist harder than I expected.

“No.” The word came out in one forceful syllable and I was startled by his lack of playfulness. 

“C’mon, Ethan,” I continued to beg as he retained the grip on my wrist. “I need you.”

“I said no, Natalie.  I can’t do this right now.  I have to get to work.”

“I miss you, Ethan,” I said and he sighed, but I couldn’t ignore the slight roll of his eyes. 

“Don’t make me feel guilty for going to work.”  He seemed a little angry and I didn’t say anything as I stepped back from him, his grip loosening until I was free of his grasp.  We didn’t say anything to each other.  He just kissed me before grabbing his keys and heading out. The apartment was quiet and I was alone, again. 

~~~

It was nearly six o’clock and I’d just finished watching the second season of
Mad Men
on Netflix.  I didn’t think I could stand another moment of TV, but I had nothing else to do.  This reclusive life was getting old fast.  I shut my laptop and made my way into the kitchen, scouring the cupboards for something to eat. Nothing looked appetizing.  I was craving Chinese food from the restaurant down the street, but knew I shouldn’t.  Take out cost money, which was something we had very limited amounts of at the moment and the foreseeable future since I’d blown the first and only interview I’d had.  I pushed the craving aside and instead decided on spaghetti, or my version of spaghetti.  Ground beef was expensive, so my spaghetti would just be noodles and an off-brand jar of sauce.  We were too poor to even afford Ragu. 

I sat myself down with my dinner, staring at the red slop, suddenly wishing I was at home enjoying one of my mom’s delicious home cooked meals.  Even if she did piss me off, there was no denying she was an amazing cook.  Chicken and dumplings sounded good or maybe the eggplant parmesan she made with the homemade sauce recipe she’d learned from my grandma.  My mouth watered just thinking about it and anything would’ve been better than this lame attempt at a meal.  It was sustenance at least and I twirled it onto my fork, eating it reluctantly as I resumed my
Mad Men
marathon.

I was engrossed in my show and eating the last few bites of my pasta when the phone rang.  I didn’t recognize the number.  It had a Manhattan area code though, and I picked it up curiously.

“Hello?”

“May I speak with Natalie please?” A voice came through the receiver.  It was familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

“This is her,” I replied.

“Hi, Natalie.  This is Leslie Graham from Taylor and Saben.”

“Oh hi, Leslie,” I said, my heart pounding as I came to terms that this was it.  It was the moment of truth.  I’d either be elated or crushed by the end of this phone call.

“I’m calling to offer you the position you interviewed for today,” Leslie said in a flat voice.

“Oh,” I said, my tongue suddenly tied and I struggled for a moment to formulate more words. “Thank you.  Thank you so much.  I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”

“Well, the decision was easier than I expected.”  Leslie’s voice didn’t offer any feeling.  I still couldn’t read this woman. “I take it you’d like the job?”

“Definitely.  Thank you!” I said, trying to tone down the excitement in my voice.  I wanted to sound professional, not desperate. 

“Would you be able to start tomorrow?  You can come in and meet with HR to fill out paperwork and get oriented with the office.”

“Yes.  I can come in tomorrow no problem.  What time should I be there?”

“Everyone usually gets here around eight o’clock, so if you could be here around 8:30, that would be good.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Alright.  We’ll see you tomorrow.  Welcome to Taylor and Saben.”

“Thank you, Leslie.  See you tomorrow,” I said and hung up the phone, slamming it down on the table, standing up and doing a little dance, unable to contain my excitement.  I got the job!  I didn’t know how, but I got the job and I couldn’t wait to tell Ethan. 

~~~

I knew I should go to sleep.  I actually had to get up early in the morning, but I couldn’t sleep, not without telling Ethan.  I’d nearly forgotten about the tension between us when he’d left for work.  That didn’t matter now.  I just wanted to tell him.

I was lying in bed, in the middle of a book that was a little too scary to be reading while I was home alone late at night, but it was good and it made the time pass.  I heard the doorknob turning shortly after midnight and I could hear him tiptoeing in the living room, trying not to wake me.

“You don’t have to be quiet.  I’m awake,” I called to him and he appeared in the doorway a moment later looking exhausted.  His shirt was unbuttoned enough at the top so I could see the tan skin of his chest peeking out.  His hair was disheveled in that way that turned me on and he was looking at me curiously, obviously noticing the wide grin on my face.

“What are you doing awake?” he asked, walking into the room and sitting down at the foot of the bed.