Nanny Piggins and the Accidental Blast-off (18 page)

‘I don’t know,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘Great-Great-Aunt Hilda would turn over in her grave if she knew I’d sold it.’

The man was now starting to get desperate, ‘One million dollars? Two million dollars?! I have to have that recipe.’

Nanny Piggins turned to the children. ‘How much did Harris from Maritime Law make?’

‘Eleven thousand dollars,’ said Michael.

Nanny Piggins turned back to the soft drink chairman. ‘We want $11,000
and
fifty cents,’ declared Nanny Piggins.

‘But Nanny Piggins,’ said Derrick, ‘he just offered you two million dollars. Why don’t you take that?’

‘Oh no, I’m not a greedy pig,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘We want your father to look good, but not that good.’

And so, when Mr Green set out for work on Monday morning, his chest swelled with pride. Not because he had spent time with his children, or because he had raised money for charity. But because he had thrashed Smythe from Accounting and Harris from Maritime Law, which, to his mind, was much more important than family values or charitable organisations.

There was to be a presentation ceremony when he arrived at work. Nanny Piggins and the children went with him – partly to see him win the Father
of the Year Competition, but mainly to make sure he got his trip to Hawaii. They had such plans for the fortnight they were going to spend without him.

When they got to the law firm all the employees were gathered in the car park, a small stage had been set up, and a crystal ‘Father of the Year’ trophy was on a plinth, waiting to be presented. Mr Green made his way through the crowd, loudly saying things like, ‘Out of the way, Father of the Year coming through.’ Then he climbed up on stage and waited for the Senior Partner to arrive and give him his award.

He waited.

And waited.

Nine o’clock bled into 9.15, then 9.30. At ten o’clock employees began to make their way back inside. But Mr Green still stood on the stage waiting. This was his moment in the sun. He did not care if no-one was there to witness it. He just wanted his tickets to Hawaii.

Eventually a tear-stained secretary came out and climbed up on the stage.

‘What are you doing here?’ asked Mr Green. ‘This is no place for secretaries. I’m waiting for the Senior Partner.’

‘He isn’t coming,’ sobbed the secretary. ‘He’s run off.’

‘What?’ exploded Mr Green.

‘He’s embezzled all the charity money and flown off overseas,’ said the secretary. ‘And he never even said goodbye …’ She broke down sobbing at this point (because naturally she had fallen in love with the Senior Partner).

‘The Senior Partner is a conman?!’ exclaimed Derrick.

‘And a thief?!’ exclaimed Samantha.

‘Cool!’ exclaimed Michael.

‘I suspected it all along,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘He winked and smiled too much to be a real lawyer.’

‘But what about my prize?’ asked Mr Green.

‘It was all just a hoax,’ said the secretary. ‘He isn’t a qualified lawyer. He never even went to a job interview. He just turned up the morning after Isabella Dunkhurst left, announced he was the new Senior Partner, and everyone believed him.’

‘Do I at least get the trophy?’ asked Mr Green.

‘No, you do not,’ said a stern voice behind them.

They all spun round and behold! Standing there was none other than the world’s first tap-dancing lawyer herself, Isabella Dunkhurst. But she was not wearing her tap shoes and leopard-print leotard now,
she was back in her corporate uniform, a grey power suit. ‘The trophy has to go back to the shop because it has not been paid for,’ declared the former Senior Partner.

‘You’re back!’ exclaimed Mr Green. Now he had tears in his eyes too, but his were tears of joy.

‘Yes,’ said Isabella Dunkhurst. ‘It seems I can’t leave the firm for five minutes without the whole thing being taken over by a confidence trickster.’

‘But what about your dancing career?’ asked Nanny Piggins.

‘It’s going very well,’ said Isabella Dunkhurst, ‘but I have to take six months off anyway. I’ve got a stress fracture in my big toe from tapping so hard.’

Boris nodded. ‘It is so important to build up the strength in your arches before you go professional.’ (Mr Green did not notice Boris because he was holding a hubcap in front of his face to disguise himself as a car.)

‘But my prize?’ whimpered Mr Green.

‘Pull yourself together, Mr Green,’ said Nanny Piggins sternly. ‘You didn’t do anything to deserve your prize, so you’ve got no right to complain now that it’s gone.’

‘But what about our two-week holiday from Father?’ asked Derrick.

‘Oh I’m sure we can still manage that,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘There’s a new futon shop in town. We can buy him one and then ask Ms Dunkhurst to let him sleep in the office for a couple of weeks.’

Actually, apart from the disappointment of not getting to go to Hawaii, Mr Green was pretty pleased with how everything turned out. He was delighted to have Isabella Dunkhurst back. She tore strips off him for stealing tea bags from the break room and he enjoyed every moment of it. It was such a relief to be able to relax and just be himself (a bad father). And it was a relief for Nanny Piggins and the children to not have him trying to be nice and spend time with them.

Later that week, as Nanny Piggins and the children were sitting around the table having breakfast, Boris entered, carrying a parcel.

‘This just arrived for you,’ said Boris, handing it to Nanny Piggins.

‘Oh goody!’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘It’s probably the scorpion I wrote and asked Eduardo to send us for Samantha’s assignment.’

‘But I handed in that assignment months ago,’ said Samantha.

‘Sadly the Mexican postal system is even less reliable than our own,’ explained Nanny Piggins as she opened the box. But when she looked inside there were no scorpions, spiders or even venomous snakes.

‘What’s this?’ asked Nanny Piggins. ‘It looks like a trophy.’

A note fell to the floor and Samantha picked it up. ‘It’s from the Senior Partner!’

‘What?!’ exclaimed Nanny Piggins. ‘But he’s on the run! Why would he be writing to me?’

The children all gathered round to read the note. It said:

Nanny Piggins pulled the trophy out of the parcel. It said:

This
Nanny of the Millennium Award
goes to
Sarah Matahari Lorelai Piggins
for her loving service to child care,
above and beyond the call of duty.

Nanny Piggins rubbed her eyes. ‘You know, for a despicable thieving conman, he wasn’t such a bad chap.’

Derrick, Samantha and Michael gave their nanny a big hug. They were just sad that it took an amoral conman and not their own father to recognise what a wonderful nanny Nanny Piggins really was.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity, including internet search engines or retailers, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including printing, photocopying (except under the statutory exceptions provisions of the Australian
Copyright Act 1968
), recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system without the prior written permission of Random House Australia. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Version 2.0

Nanny Piggins and the Accidental Blast-off

Copyright © R. A. Spratt

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

A Random House book

Published by Random House Australia Pty Ltd

Level 3, 100 Pacific Highway, North Sydney NSW 2060

www.randomhouse.com.au

Addresses for companies within the Random House Group can be found at
www.randomhouse.com.au/offices

National Library of Australia

Cataloguing-in-Publication Entry

Author: Spratt, R. A.

Title: Nanny Piggins and the Accidental Blast-off

ISBN: 978 1 74274 208 3 (eBook)

Series: Nanny Piggins; 4.

Target Audience: For primary school age

Dewey Number: A823.4

Cover illustration by Gypsy Taylor

Cover design by Christabella Designs

Internal design by Jobi Murphy

Internal illustrations by R. A. Spratt

There’s so much more at
randomhouse.com.au