Nanny Piggins and the Runaway Lion (21 page)

And so Nanny Piggins was soon sitting on the Naughty Bench outside the Headmistress' office.

'Do you think she is going to be all right?' worried Samantha. 'What if the headmistress sticky-tapes Nanny Piggins to the flagpole?'

'Hah!' scoffed Michael. 'I'd be more worried for the flagpole.'

'She hasn't even tried to rescue us yet,' said Samantha.

'She seems to be having too much fun annoying all the teachers,' said Derrick, 'but I'm sure Nanny Piggins will get around to it.'

And Derrick was quite right. The children had only been sitting in their next class for three minutes when suddenly the fire alarm went off and a voice crackled over the school's public address system: 'Students of Dampworthington's, this is Matahari Curruthers-Dingleberry speaking. I have locked your horrible headmistress in the attic. My real name is Nanny Piggins and I am here to set you free from this brutal regime. I suggest you rise up and capture all your teachers now. If you hold them still, I will come around to each of the classrooms and help you tie them up.'

The student body did not hesitate for an instant. They lunged at their teachers. Some of them had been students at the school for many years so they had a lot of pent-up emotions to express. And they did not need Nanny Piggins' help. Using their belts, school ties and hair ribbons, every member of staff was hogtied and locked in the school gymnasium in less than five minutes.

In the melee, Derrick, Samantha and Michael found each other, then went in search of Nanny Piggins. They bumped into her just as she was dragging Bruno the bus driver into the gym.

'Nanny Piggins!' exclaimed Samantha.

None of them said any more. They were too busy hugging.

'Um, excuse me,' said one of the older students politely, not wanting to interrupt the hug.

'Yes,' said Nanny Piggins, looking up but not letting go of Derrick, Samantha and Michael.

'What do we do now?' asked the student.

Nanny Piggins looked at the group of two hundred huddled children, all as grey as their school uniforms. 'Isn't it obvious?'

'Don't ask them rhetorical questions. They aren't allowed to answer,' explained Derrick.

'We must raid the kitchens!' announced Nanny Piggins.

So Nanny Piggins led the children hollering and cheering down to the school kitchen where they broke open the door and burst into the larder. The hilarity immediately stopped. There was nothing in the larder except two hundred industrial-sized boxes of porridge, a hundred loaves of stale brown bread and three hundred cabbages.

'What is the meaning of this?' asked Nanny Piggins. 'Where's all the food?'

'That
is
all the food,' explained Samantha. 'That's all they feed us here.'

'Diabolical!' exclaimed Nanny Piggins. 'But never fear, I will soon find you some real food to eat.'

Nanny Piggins held her snout high and sniff ed about. She quickly latched on to a scent. 'Follow me, this way,' she said. And so all two hundred students followed Nanny Piggins as she sniff ed her way along the corridor, down a staircase, around a bend and into the east wing of the building. There Nanny Piggins' snout led them to the furthest room, where no student had ever been before – the staff common room.

'We're not meant to go in there,' warned Samantha.

'Good,' said Nanny Piggins. 'If we are all going to be expelled we might as well do a thorough job of it.' And she pushed open the door. But the children were too stunned to enter. The staff common room was the most opulent room they had ever seen. There were leather recliners, three-inch-deep wool carpets, central heating, huge wide-screen TVs and silver platters loaded high with chocolate and sweets of every variety.

'Wow!' said Michael, which perfectly summed up what they were all thinking.

The children were too stunned to know how to react. Fortunately Nanny Piggins was there to guide them. 'Dig in,' she instructed.

The children surged forward and started scoffing. Apart from the chocolate and sweets, Michael (who had a talent for finding forbidden food) also found a giant refrigerator hidden behind a secret panel in the wall, and it was cram-filled with every flavour of ice-cream known to man. So the children chomped, licked and munched away happily for hours.

The student body of Dampworthington's had just reached the happy point of having eaten so much they felt too ill to even move when Headmistress Butterstrode (slightly dishevelled from having had to bite her way out of the skipping ropes Nanny Piggins had tied her up with) appeared in the doorway.

'Out! Out, all of you. You filthy greedy ingrates – out of this common room and assemble in the quadrangle immediately!' she yelled slightly hysterically.

The children scurried as quickly as their swollen stomachs would allow them, out into the quadrangle where they stood in perfectly formed lines with their heads hung in shame.

'You have all been very naughty,' scolded Headmistress Butterstrode, 'but you, Matahari Curruthers-Dingleberry, have been unforgivable. As such, I have called the school authorities and they will be arriving shortly to prescribe the appropriate punishment.'

'Expulsion?' asked Nanny Piggins hopefully.

'Oh no,' said Headmistress Butterstrode. 'No student is ever expelled from Dampworthington's. That would be a reward. And we do not reward students here. We punish them.'

Derrick, Samantha and Michael began to worry. Perhaps their nanny's plan was not as well thought out as they had assumed.

Just then a black car turned into the school's driveway.

'Aha,' said Headmistress Butterstrode. 'You are in real trouble now. That is the School District Superintendent. He'll be dealing with you personally.'

'I'm sorry?' asked Nanny Piggins. 'Did you say you called in the District Superintendent?'

'Yes, I did,' said Headmistress Butterstrode. 'I bet you're feeling sorry now.'

'Well, this is going to be interesting,' said Nanny Piggins.

The black car pulled up next to the quadrangle, the door opened and the District Superintendent stepped out. The Green children immediately recognised the plump elderly man. He was the same School District Superintendent who had inspected their old school when Nanny Piggins had been headmistress for the day. The same superintendent who had fallen deeply in love with her.

'Superintendent,' said Nanny Piggins, as she whipped off her red wig and thick glasses, and dazzled the Superintendent with her most winning smile.

'Headmistress Piggins!' said the Superintendent breathlessly. During the months that had passed, the Superintendent had convinced himself he was over his infatuation with the world's most glamorous flying pig, but as soon as he saw her he realised he was not.

Headmistress Butterstrode stared in open-mouthed shock as the Superintendent rushed forward to kiss Nanny Piggins on the trotter, gushing, 'Oh I've missed you. I've missed you so.'

Suffice to say, the meeting in the school office that followed did not go as Headmistress Butterstrode had expected. After two hours of discussion, the Superintendent, accompanied by Nanny Piggins and Headmistress Butterstrode, emerged to address the school.

'I have been informed by Headmis . . . I mean,
Nanny
Piggins, of all that has gone on at this school –' began the Superintendent.

'But she's just a pig,' protested Headmistress Butterstrode.

'I'll have none of that,' snapped the Superintendent. (He could be quite masterful when he wanted to be.) 'I will not allow you to malign such a fine woman.'

Nanny Piggins smiled.

'As such, I have decided to follow Nanny Piggins' recommendation and close this school immediately,' said the Superintendent.

The entire student body erupted in cheers.

'All the teachers will be sacked . . .' continued the Superintendent.

The students cheered again.

'And I ordered a team of bulldozers to come and demolish the school building in less than an hour,' concluded the Superintendent.

The students did not think they could be any happier. But just then a truck pulled into the school's driveway.

'That truck looks familiar,' said Derrick.

'It should,' said Nanny Piggins.

It was Hans the baker's truck being driven by Boris.

'I called Boris and told him to bring supplies. If we are going to have a demolition party it would be rude not to provide refreshments,' explained Nanny Piggins.

Much, much later that night, Nanny Piggins, Boris and the children returned home to the Green house. When he heard them come in, Mr Green did not protest or question them. He stayed hidden in his office. You see, getting rid of his children had not brought Mr Green the relief he had expected. As soon as he had the house to himself Mr Green had known it was too good to be true and that his luck could not last. If anything, it was a relief just to have the children back and let things return to normal, and not to be attacked by a vengeful Nanny Piggins as he had expected. (Little did he realise that Nanny Piggins had a long memory and fully intended to exact revenge at a later date.)

'Are you happy to be home, Nanny Piggins?' asked Samantha.

'Oh yes,' said Nanny Piggins. 'Sleeping in Boris' shed was all right for one night. But I much prefer being here with my whole family.'

To celebrate, Nanny Piggins asked Boris to bake a great big chocolate cake. She would have made it herself, but did not want to stop hugging the children, not just yet.