Nantucket Romance 3-in-1 Bundle (20 page)

Had they talked? What else had she done?

Her legs were hot, and she kicked the quilt from under them, searching for the coolness of the sheet. With the movement came another recollection. Landon had been sitting on the bed. She swung her leg over him like some kind of whore. She tried to kiss him, but he lifted her off him and put her back in the bed.

She couldn’t remember what happened next. It was like a black hole. The harder she tried to remember, the quicker it slipped away. Humiliation filled her. She wanted to go to sleep and wake up in Boston. Far from this house, far from Landon, far from the disgrace of the night before.

Instead, she settled for the quick oblivion of sleep.

A knocking sound awakened Sam. She sprang up and felt the remnants of her hangover. The Advil had helped some, but not enough.

The knock sounded again. Someone was at the door. The clock read 10:56. Caden. Melanie was supposed to bring her home after breakfast. She ran her hand through her snarled hair, hoping she didn’t look as bad as she felt.

Her feet covered the distance to the door quickly as she wiped her bleary eyes and tried to look like she hadn’t just rolled out of bed. She unlocked the door and pulled it open.

Landon stood on the porch with a mug of coffee. He hadn’t shaved yet, and stubble lined his jaw. She met his gaze, the night before too fresh in her mind. What did he think of her now? She could feel her cheeks heating at the memory.

“Brought you some coffee.” He held out the mug.

Sam took it and stared at the brew. Steam swirled upward, carrying the robust aroma to her nose. Her stomach lurched. “Thanks.” She set it down on the end table. Her hand was unsteady, and a bit of it sloshed over the side onto the fresh white surface.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “How are you feeling?”

She licked her parched lips. “Fine.” She had a new memory of them in his Jeep. Sam had been kissing his arm from his hand to his bicep. She closed her eyes, wishing he’d somehow disappear from her porch.

“I thought we could get mulch today. We could finish the beds.”

The word didn’t make her think of flowers, but of what she’d done the night before. She’d come close to repeating the same mistake she made the night of Landon’s going-away party. Only that night, she’d run from Landon to Bailey.

And Bailey had never come home.

Her head throbbed. “I’m not up to working today, okay?” She made a move to close the door. “Thanks for the coffee.”

He stopped the door with his hand. “What about the house?”

There was still work to be done, and her need to escape the island was greater now than ever. But she needed to finish alone. Landon’s presence did things to her. Things she couldn’t understand, much less explain. And she shouldn’t have to explain. Why couldn’t he just stay away? Stay out of her life and stop torturing her? No one else drove her to distraction like he did. If he hadn’t been here the night before,
none of this would have happened.

“It’s my house, Landon. My problem.”

“I want to help.”

Sam looked him square in the eye. “I don’t want your help,” she said sharply. “I can finish on my own just fine.”

The corners of his mouth fell, and she noticed a cut on his lower lip. It occurred to her that she should thank him for rescuing her. But she was tired of him coming to her rescue. It was him she needed saving from, couldn’t he see that?

The light in his eyes dimmed. She ignored the prickle of guilt.

“Have it your way, Sam.” He let go of the door. “But at some point, we need to talk about last night.”

Just when she thought he was going to let it drop, there it was. He set it at her feet like a dog with a dead rabbit. Embarrassment and anger waged war. So she’d done something stupid. Did he have to rub her face in it? Was he going to shame her for getting drunk and going home with Tully? She was an adult. She wouldn’t let Landon shame her.

Sam remembered the moves she’d made on Landon and felt her limbs go hot. Okay, so she’d shamed herself. She crossed her arms, hugging herself.

“I was drunk,” she said. “I didn’t know what I was doing.”

He looked at her so incisively, she was afraid he could see everything she hid from him.

“That’s not the part we need to talk about,” he said softly.

The compassion on his face alerted her. She realized he was talking about everything that had come before. Before her shameless behavior, before Tully, before the whiskey. He was talking about the reason she’d fled from him to begin with. But she couldn’t talk to him about that. Didn’t even want to think about it. She wanted to get in a boat and go far away. Just like her mom had done all those years ago.

The thought smacked her with the force of a two-by-four, stealing her breath, and she wondered if she wasn’t so different from her mom after all.

Twenty-one

T
he warm water washed over Sam’s head and ran down her bare back. She wished all her troubles could flow so freely off her. She imagined her mom’s letter lying on Emmett’s bed the way it had the night before, just waiting to be opened. She didn’t know if she had the courage to do it. What if it showed she really never cared about Sam at all? It was one thing to suppose it, another to have it confirmed. She couldn’t deal with that right now.

She had known coming back here would be hard for all the obvious reasons. Stirring up her dad’s death, her mom’s abandonment, and Emmett’s ghost was bound to be painful. But she hadn’t banked on the even greater distress of facing Landon.

You’re almost done, Sam. Just hang in there another week and you
can go back to Boston and forget all about this place.

But she wondered if she would be able to forget Landon. She hadn’t forgotten him before. Not really. And he’d dug more deeply into her heart since she’d come back.

Sam finished her shower, and by the time she dried off and dressed, Caden was home and watching TV.

“Did you have fun?” Sam asked, hoping they were on speaking terms now.

“Yeah.”

Sam sat beside her on the sofa. “What did you do?”

Caden shrugged. “Fixed each other’s hair, ate breakfast.”

“I like your braid,” she said. They were talking like friends for the first time in a long while. Sam wondered how long it would last.

“Mrs. Walker did it. She made pancakes and took us to the park.”

Sam smiled even as a pang of jealousy twisted inside. How did Melanie find so much time to spend with her daughter? She was a single mom too.

The phone rang. Sam waited, wondering if she should get it. Maybe it was Landon. Or Tully. What would she say to him? To either of them?

You’re a grown-up, Sam; you’ll come up with something
. She got up and grabbed the handset off the end table. She’d forgotten about the coffee Landon had brought. Her stomach was feeling better; maybe she’d reheat it. She answered the phone.

“Sam? Hi, it’s Patty. How are you?”

Sam hadn’t talked to her boss since leaving Boston. “Hi, Patty. I’m doing good. How are things there?”

“Exceptionally well. We got the Merrek building back.”

“I thought Murphy’s Maids got that contract.” Her boss was concerned after they’d lost the job. She’d been about to open an office in a new location, but the loss of the Merrek building meant less income for the company, and they couldn’t afford the new space.

“They did, but the owners were unhappy with their work.”

“That’s great.” She set her coffee in the microwave and punched the buttons. “Maybe you can get that office space now.”

“That’s what I’m hoping. I just wanted to make sure you were on track to be back a week from Monday. That’s when we’re scheduled to start at the Merrek building. I’ll need you.”

Sam looked around the cottage at the walls needing a second coat of paint. The ceilings, which she hadn’t planned on doing, now looked dingy against the white walls. They would need a coat of paint. The wood floor still needed to be polished and the cupboards painted. She’d have to work her tail off to get it done alone. “Don’t worry about a thing,” she said. “I’ll be home on time.”

“Oh, good.” Relief coated her words. “I know how home repairs can go. Everything seems to take more time than you bargain for.”

Wasn’t it the truth? If Landon hadn’t helped, she’d be way behind schedule. “No need to worry. I’ll be there a week from tomorrow, bright and early.”

After she got off the phone, she drained the coffee, then changed into her painting clothes. Her headache was a dull throb now.

Sam walked toward the door. “I’ll be back in a few, Caden. I need to get some stuff from the shed.”

Caden glanced up from the TV. “What time are we going to the beach? Can we go to the surf side?”

Sam stopped on the threshold. She’d forgotten about promising Caden she’d take a day off. She had so much to do and no help. She couldn’t ask Landon. And now she definitely had to be back in Boston on time.

Sam turned, her hand grasping the doorknob. “I’m really sorry, Caden, but we can’t do it today. I have to paint. My boss just called and—”

“But you said you’d take the day off.” Her whine was like fingernails on Sam’s spinal cord.

“I know what I said, but that was before Patty called and—”

“You never do anything fun!”

Did Caden think she wanted to work today? That she didn’t want to go hang out at the beach like she hadn’t a worry in the world? She was always caught between her daughter and work. She was tired of having to choose.

Sam took a steadying breath. “Let me get the work done. Maybe I’ll finish early, and we can go next Saturday.” She didn’t know if she could get done by then, but at this point, she was willing to offer hope. “If you help me, I’ll get done quicker.”

A pool of tears rose to Caden’s lash line. “You could get it done in time if you wanted.”

That might be true if Landon were helping, but she knew she’d be pressed to finish on her own. “I’ve got all this work to do and no help. I’m not sure
it’ll get done on time as it is.”

“Landon’s helping.”

Sam shook her head. “Not anymore.”

“Why not?” Caden glared at her.

Sam opened her mouth to explain, then closed it again. What could she say that an eleven-year-old would understand? “It’s just the way it is. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe he could take me to the beach.” Hope lit her face. “I could play with Max in the water. Please, Mom?” Those brown eyes, so like her own, begged.

Sam wanted Landon farther away from them, not closer. Asking him to spend time with her daughter was foolish. And what if Caden slipped and called him Uncle Landon or something? She could just imagine how Landon would hate her if he knew. As much as she needed him to keep his distance, she couldn’t bear it if he hated her. She couldn’t risk letting Caden go with him.

Sam shook her head. “I’m sorry, Caden.”

Her daughter looked ready for a fight, her face all flushed, her mouth pursed.

Sam was beginning to feel a little heated herself. Everything she did was for Caden. Even the sale of this house was for her future, for college. They could go to the beach in Boston anytime, and it wasn’t like she hadn’t taken her since they’d been on the island. When would Caden learn life wasn’t all about her?

Sam bit her tongue and turned to go.

“You’re so unfair!”

Sam slammed the door and leaned against it, staring at Caden. Hadn’t she just let Caden have an overnighter at a friend’s house? Now she wanted something else. Sam’s head was beginning to pound again. Caden had no idea how good she had it.

Her daughter blinked, and her tears overflowed. “All you care about is work, work, work!” She dragged her fist across her face, wiping the tears. “You’re always leaving.”

Sam’s fist squeezed the doorknob, and she narrowed her eyes. “I’m leaving for a few minutes, Caden. When my mom left, she left forever.”

The air seemed to still, as if waiting for Caden’s response.

Fear spread slowly across Caden’s face, starting in her eyes and working its way down to her mouth.

Sam studied her, wondering what was going through her head. Did Caden think she might leave her? She remembered what it was like to be a child at the mercy of an adult’s whims. Caden probably felt she was at Sam’s mercy. Her daughter was dependent upon her. Sam wasn’t much, but she was all she had.