Nathan's Vow (24 page)

Hell, why was he feeling
defensive?  Ms. Kittredge was the one who had probably put this hare-brained
scheme into his aunt's head.  "What does that have to do with this?"

"Relatives always seem to be
the last to see discontent.  If you had sat down with Clare and really listened
to what she was saying, you might have realized..."  When he was about to
interrupt, Lexa held up her hand like a stop sign.  "Please let me
finish."

He stuffed his hands in his pockets
and gave her a nod to go ahead.

Eye level with Josh's waist, Lexa
saw the denim pull across his thighs.  Realizing he had noticed where her gaze
had strayed, she flushed slightly and raised her eyes to his.  "Clare's
friends at the center know she's been unhappy the past year.  So I'm not telling
you anything that's confidential.  They persuaded her to come to the workshop
and to see me.  After we talked, I realized she didn't really want to get back
in the work force, but she wanted something to put meaning in her life."

"So you advised a venture that
could wipe out her life savings and give her more work than she can
handle."

"I advised no such thing.  I
told her to think about what she liked to do, what she wanted to do, and what
she did best.  She took it from there.  She talked to other seniors and
discovered she wasn't the only one who was feeling lonely and empty.  She wants
to care for people.  That's what she did for thirty-five years.  She found two
other people who want to do the same thing.  They want to share their lives,
take care of and depend on each other."

Josh was feeling more and more
guilty.  He didn't like the feeling so he struck out.  "And I suppose you
don't get anything out of this?  You're just a do-gooder who goes around
solving people's problems, giving direction to their lives?"

Lexa's eyes told him he had struck
a nerve, that she had heard the accusation before.  "I've helped Clare
find a road that will bring her happiness, the same kind of happiness my
volunteer work gives me.  You're not thinking about Clare's life, you're thinking
about the easiest route for yourself so you don't have to worry about
her."

  The static between them
crackled.  "You have no right to judge me."

She stood.  "And you have no
right to judge my motives or your aunt's capabilities.  Clare's an older woman,
not elderly, certainly not decrepit.  She has wisdom, experience, maturity, and
goals.  Goals and aspirations don't die because you reach fifty or fifty-five
or sixty.  She's smart, interesting, and has a lot to share and no one to share
it with."

"She has me!"

Lexa tipped her head back. 
"And you think you're enough to fill her world?  Get serious.  That might
have been true when you were a recalcitrant teenager, but it's certainly not
true now."

He felt at a definite
disadvantage.  If his aunt had told this woman about some of his escapades,
Lexa was one up on him.  "Aunt Clare's an innocent when it comes to
financial matters.  How does she know she can meet the mortgage payments,
repairs, taxes?"

"If you talk to your
aunt...calmly," Lexa emphasized, "You'll realize she's not going into
this blindly.  The widower who's moving in with her is an accountant."

"You have an answer for
everything, don't you?" he goaded, suddenly wanting to get a rise out of
her.  To that end he stepped closer.  Lexa's perfume wafted around his head;
his heart suddenly beat harder.  A slice of desire startled him.

"No, I don't.  But I've had
experience with scores of people."

"The truth is you feel
powerful influencing people's lives, changing their direction," he
accused.

"The truth is, Mr. Flannigan,
it makes me feel good, not powerful.  The truth is you don't want to let go of
your aunt.  The truth is you don't want her to be independent and not need
you.  And the truth is I don't think you'd know the truth if it bit you in the
seat of your too-tight jeans!"

Josh needed to regroup.  Alexandra
Kittredge had brought up some wrinkles he hadn't anticipated--wrinkles that, if
she was telling the truth, couldn't easily be smoothed away.  "I want
what's best for Clare, what's good for her."

"You might not know what that
is.  Only she knows.  I'll leave so you can discuss this without
interference." 

He reached for Lexa's arm and when
his fingers closed around it, he saw the same jolt of awareness he experienced
reflected in her eyes.  "Don't leave without saying good-bye to her. 
She'll think I ran you out the door."

"Clare loves you.  She needs
and wants your support.  This isn't easy for her."

Josh's eyes narrowed.  Lexa sounded
so sincere.  If she was on the level, he wondered what had drawn her to Clare,
what made her care so much.  He released her arm and let his hand drop to his
side.  "I want to see her happy.  But I want her safe."

"Even people over sixty might
have to take risks to find happiness."

Had Lexa Kittredge taken many risks
in her life?  He decided to find out more about her.  But not now.  His aunt
was his primary concern.  He didn't stand in Lexa's way when she started toward
the den to tell Clare she was leaving.  He watched the sway of her hips as she
walked, and he made up his mind.  No, he and Alexandra Kittredge weren't
finished yet.  Not by a long shot.

****

After Lexa returned to her town
house from Clare's apartment Sunday evening, she showered and made herself a
salad.  Wrapped in a chenille robe, she settled at her computer to skim the
news feed.  But her mind wasn't on the headlines.

Joshua Flannigan was a force to be
reckoned with.  But Clare was independent enough to do what she wanted.  Lexa
felt a deep affection for her.  Initially, she'd gotten involved with Clare
because she needed something to keep her mind off the ramifications of becoming
an adoptive mother.  She was worried about Dani.  Lexa desperately wanted her
sister's child, but right now she was more concerned about her sister.

The phone rang and she decided to
let her answering machine monitor it.  But when she heard Dani's voice leaving
a message, she grabbed the phone on the end table.

"Dani, I'm here."  Lexa
flicked off the tape recording and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"About the same.  The doctor
says the nausea will pass in a couple of months.  I saw a lawyer."

"And?"

"He doesn't feel there will be
any problems as long as we're both sure this is what we want.  He said to think
about it for another month or so then call him and he'll start the paperwork. 
Lexa, are you sure you want to adopt?  It's too hard to raise a child as a
single parent.  That's why I..."

Lexa's heart tore as she heard
Dani's anguish.  At that moment she despised the man who refused to support
Dani.  "Honey, it's different for me.  I have a sound income.  I have
access to good day care here in Chambersburg.  You know, you could do it if you
really want to.  Dad would help you."

Tears threaded Dani's voice. 
"I can't do it, Lexa.  You're strong.  I can't believe how you've done
everything on your own without Daddy's money."

"That was my choice.  But you
can accept his help."

"I don't want to raise a
child--not alone.  And I can't believe you do."

Lexa had loved and protected Dani
since their mother died.  "Did you tell Dad yet?"

"No.  Not yet.  And don't
you."

"I won't.  But you should tell
him soon."

"I will.  Eventually.  He'll
think I should get married to save the family name or something.  What a
laugh.  Marriage is the last thing Rob wants to think about."

"Have you seen him
lately?"

"Yes.  We argued again.  Lexa,
I love him but he doesn't want to get married.  I told him you're going to
adopt the baby.  He thinks you're crazy."

Lexa knew exactly what she was
doing and crazy didn't enter into it.  Because of a bout with endometriosis,
she might never be able to have children.  The knowledge had plagued her for
the last two years.  No one knew but her sister.  When she learned Dani was
pregnant but wanted to give the baby up for adoption, Lexa had jumped at the
chance.  "I can't tell you how thankful I am you're willing to let me
adopt."

"You've always been a terrific
big sister even though I've wanted to pull your hair out more than once.  And I
know you'll make a great mother because you care so much about everyone."

"Hey, you better stop before I
get a swelled head."  The teasing tone disappeared.  "I only want you
to do what's right for you.  I want you to be happy.  Okay?"

"Yeah.  I know.  And after all
we've talked about this, I'm sure it's what I want to do.  Do you think you can
drive up next weekend?  My roommate's going home.  You can stay in the dorm. 
Everybody will be at the football game on Saturday.  I have tickets if you want
to go."

"Since Penn State's having such a good season, I might consider it," Lexa kidded.  "We'll see
what the weather's like.  You don't want to catch cold."

"Yes, mother."

"I'm sorry."

Dani's sigh came through loud and
clear.  "It's okay."  After a pause, she asked,  "What time do
you think you can be here Saturday?"

"About eleven-thirty? 
Twelve?"

"The earlier the better. 
You're the only one I can talk to right now."

Dani expected Lexa to be around
whenever she needed her, and Lexa always was.  "I'll get there as soon as
I can.  Take care.  Okay?"

"Will do.  See you Saturday."

Lexa put down the cordless phone,
wishing she could protect her sister better...more.  Not unlike the way Josh
wanted to protect his aunt.  But Clare was mature.  Sixty-three years old. 
Dani was immature, sometimes irrepressible and rebellious even at twenty-one.

Lexa's thoughts returned to Josh. 
The brilliance of his blue eyes and the strength of his chin remained vivid in
her mind.  If things were different, she might want to get to know him better. 
But getting involved with a man now was out of the question.

BUY:  
http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/B007HV8ERG/1.-20/