Natural Selection (9 page)

Kasper ignored the call from the hostess and navigated himself through the traffic to a small table at the back. He did it with such ease, Emilia wondered if he hadn’t been there before
, and when one of the guys behind the bar ran off to the back, Emilia knew he had to have been.

Only Kasper had the ability to make people that skittish.

She could tell why he liked the place. Overall, it was low lit with mostly vintage looking battery operated lanterns and candles on the tables and piano. When she wondered why they weren’t genuine candles, the call of two men arguing over Cambodian poetry answered her question. In a small space with few windows and lots of liquor, she could see how easily one bar brawl could cause the entire place to go up in flames.

Kasper took the seat facing away from the door and sh
e followed suit, sitting across from him. Right away the sight of an empty aquarium filled with books filled her field of vision.

“I told you you’d like this place.”

She smiled faintly. “I never said I wouldn’t.”

“Ah ha! Yet you
assumed
you wouldn’t.”

“I know you have good taste
, Kasper.” She squirmed and tried to stare at something other than his intense eyes. “You know that, too…”

“Yes
,” he said, looking her up and down while leaning back in his chair. “I know I do.”

She blushed and turned her gaze away from him as much as she could. To avoid the temptation of looking at
him, she began to slowly tap her thumbs on the table in front of them. “What does this have to do with the fundraiser?”

Kasper opened his mouth to answer, only to be interrupted by one of the bartenders. The young man stared
off at an invisible spot on the wall, feeling just as awkward; it seemed to Emilia, as she did. “Hello, my name is Kevin. I’ll be helping you guys out tonight.”

“A double scotch with ice. The lady will have a soda, preferably something with a lime taste.”

Emilia leaned over the table and scowled. Even then, however, he thought she was intoxicating. The artificial light in the animal shelter did her no justice, but the low lighting from the lanterns was generous. In fact, it all but forced him to stare at the contour between her shirt and shoulder, imagining how she would sound when he tried to take it off.

“You don’t get to order for me.”

He whispered back, “I don’t get to do
that,
either?”

“You never did.” She smiled.

“Can I have a Coke? And nachos,” she added excitedly. “Do you guys have nachos?”

The
bartender’s nod was barely noticeable before he scatted away, mumbling something about their orders coming right up.

“What?” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “You’re staring.”

“You don’t like Coca-Cola.”

“Maybe I’ve changed.” She thanked the
bartender for her drink and sipped on the straw that bobbed in the glass. When the cold rush of sugar hit her teeth, she tried not to flinch but failed.

“Perhaps
we both have.” He swallowed his entire glass in a single swig and turned it over on the table before signaling for another. She reached out for him and rested the end of her fingers against his arm.

“If you want to drive
me home, you won’t do that.”

Kasper put down his arm and nodded sternly.
If a lack of alcohol was a sacrifice he needed to make, he was more than willing.

“
Th-the band begins shortly. They are a combination of classical and contemporary jazz—I think you will like it greatly.

Emilia giggled against her s
traw. “You keep saying that.”

“Yes, well, just trying to keep you informed.”

“You were thinking about music for the gala?”

“Naturally.
”

She took another sip and stared away from a couple of
frat boys who were eying her. “When I looked up this place online, I thought it said they had a speaker system—”

“They do, but no one wants
to listen to the prerecorded music. Besides, these young people are always willing to work for next to nothing.”

“Taking advantage of the
starving artist?”

“Me? Never. I’m merely offering them something to put on their resumes.”

Emilia only nodded. She knew that he was trying to be funny, but it was an excuse she could easily see him giving for that sort of behavior.

“Now may I ask you something?”

She nodded.

“The other day those wretched people referred to
you as ‘Em.’ You don’t really let them reduce your lovely name to that, do you?”

“I haven’t put that much thought into it
, to be honest.”

He stared at the flowers embroidered on her shirt. “I dislike it intensely.”

“Well, then, I do like it” She stabbed at a chunk of ice with her straw. “I think that’s what I’ll go by from this day forward.”

“Emilia
,” he said in a pacifying voice. “Are you really so angry with me?”

“No…
yes?” She played with the straw and tried to look absent-minded. “It’s weird; I didn’t think I would be. If you ever came to see me, I thought everything wrong with me would be better again, but now that you’re here, I don’t feel better, just—”

“Angry?”

“Yes.”

“Would it make a difference if I apologized again?”

She shook her head. “No, so please stop doing it. We might care about each other, but we’re too different to be together. Let’s leave it at that.”

“I will never leave it at
that
. And to refer to
us
as a ‘that’ is insulting to the greatest days of my life.”

“You’re going to be disappointed.”

“I’ve rarely gotten anything I’ve ever wanted in my life, Emilia Ward, but I intend to have
you
. Regardless of how long it takes, or how much it may hurt, I will get you back.”

Emilia opened her mouth but the words didn’t come. Instead, she stood up and ex
cused herself, making up an explanation about the ladies’ room and running off there before he could rise. She nearly tripped over her own chair and bumped into several people before disappearing around the corner. The moment she was alone, safely in the restroom with no one else to see, she splashed cold water on her face and begged her shaking hands and knees to steady themselves. Why was he doing this to her? And what had inspired him to turn her world upside down again?

More importantly, what was she going to do about it?

***

She had been gone for much too long and though he considered going after her, he knew that someone like him inquiring about a young woman in the ladies
’ facilities was improper even for him. The band, who called themselves
Garfield Theory,
were already set up and beginning to strum warm up notes. Luckily, the arrival of the band diverted the attention away from him and to the young men with multi-colored hair and jewelry in the face. And Kasper thought he looked strange?
HA!
Perhaps all he needed was to spend more time in the artist community!

Regardless of this mediocre
relief however, he couldn’t help but feel that familiar foreboding come over him. What if his confession disturbed her so greatly that she just up and left altogether? Was she walking back to her apartment while he sat there like a fool?

Just as he stood up however, she returned, stopping short of the table when she saw him getting up. She waved awkwardly and relief ran through him. He moved aside so she could sit down.

They remained silent, Emilia looking at him more than the band and not even really listening. Kasper pretended to focus on the band like everyone else. In reality however, he was watching the faces in the room, the way they expressed themselves so openly. Did these children have any idea how lucky they were? Of how grateful they should be to have symmetrical faces and functioning features?

“You’re right
,” he heard her say after awhile. “They are good.”

“I’
m glad you think so,” he said. “I’ve already hired them.”

Emilia frowned.
“Then what did you need me here for?”

He smiled, but only to himself. “I thought I made that clear. I need you for everything
, Emilia Ward. I need you always.”

***

Emilia didn’t know what to think about Kasper’s declaration. Even as they finished listening to the first set and she munched on her snack, her mind went back and forth on the subject. She knew that if she had any dignity, cared about herself at all, she would have rejected him with even more vigor—yelled and screamed and called him names. But she couldn’t ignore the fact that at the core of her she was giddy about his claim of love—that her heart bounced slightly at the prospect of the two of them being together again.

Even as they left together,
there was a sort of silent familiarity between them that Emilia had recognized from when they first began spending time together—that silent communication that it seemed like only they were capable of. When they had first admitted their feelings for one another, she thought their only contact would extend to the bedroom only to quickly learn it went much further beyond that, expanding to realms she once believed to only exist in fairy tales and science fiction.

There were instances
, for example, that he could sense when she was having a bad day in class and would try to replace her stress with a gift of some kind. Likewise, she seemed to predict his foul moods before they happened, becoming a meteorologist of his bad temper and warning others not unlike a psychic would.

It was as though Emilia was experiencing déjà vu when they got up together and left without saying a word. They were reconnected in such a short period of time—or more startling—Emilia
realized maybe they had never been disconnected to begin with.

“When can I see you again?”
he asked in the car.

“
During the gala.”

“Emilia—”

“Kasper, don’t do this to me. You wanted me to get a life and I have.”

She watched his hand grip the wheel under the
passing street lamps. She almost knew, as if reading his mind, what he would ask before he did.

“I
-is there someone else?”

Emilia leaned back and rested her head against the glass. It felt cool against her forehead, but quickly warmed up under her burning flesh. The idea that she could even be with anyone but Kasper had honestly ne
ver even crossed her mind. And now that it had, it seemed absurd. Had he already forgotten the way she had begged for him not to send her away? To forgive her for shunning him in the first place? Okay sure, so it had been a year. And that would be a reasonable amount of time to move on for most people—more than reasonable considering everything he had done for her. But she wasn’t most people, and neither was he. That was what made them relatable to one another, so perfect. They were like an endangered species that had found each other in the wild and needed the other to survive, to keep their genus alive and thriving.

How could he even suggest that she could be with someone else?

But she didn’t say any of that. Couldn’t, even though her heart begged her to.

“Isn’t that what you wanted? For me to be with someone else? Want someone else?”

Kasper felt his heart bottom out. He had specifically instructed Frankford not to educate him on this matter for this very reason, as his imagination began to spike with violent images of other men touching her, other names on her lips but his own… how could he think for an instant that he could live without her for this long, let alone a lifetime? God, what had he done!

“Kasper, watch out!”

The sound of the brakes squealing to a halt managed to reach his ears over the sound of his own lungs whistling puffs of air in and out of his chest. Yet Kasper acknowledged to himself that he had some difficultly hearing the curses of the students as they finished moving across the pedestrian walkway. He thought one of them mouthed the word “freak” but he couldn’t be sure.

Emilia’s hand was the next thing he was aware of. Gently shaking the life back into him, she might have been putting all of her weight
onto him.

“Kasper? Are you okay?”

His only reply was to look at her.

“No.” She removed her hand and put it i
n her lap. Somewhat amazed and ashamed that she could still have that reaction on him—cause him to be so destructive. “There isn’t anyone else.”

He tried to conceal his relief.
“I-I apologize for that.”

“Do you want me to drive?” She looked away and stared straight ahead.

He shifted the car back into drive, hard. “No.”