Nemesis (26 page)

I’m in control. I’m in control.
I launched into action with an abandon I hadn’t felt in weeks. Since before the Alliance, before everything, when I’d lived for the Passages, taken a fight as a challenge. Like that time a band of dreyverns had tried to attack a group I was helping, and Skyla and I had beaten them down. She’d had my back, then.

I faltered, surrounded by a heap of dreyvern corpses. Maybe that was the problem. My former friends turned out to be the opposite. I no longer felt like I had someone to watch my back. But that was stupid. I’d fought alone countless times. It was the way Nell had raised me.

“Are you okay?” Amanda asked, as I left the changing rooms later.

I shrugged. “Just tired. I don’t know.”

“If ever you want to talk, Ada, I’m happy to. I mentor novices, remember? I know you didn’t get in here the usual way. You don’t have to be ashamed.”

I swallowed. “Thanks. I’m not–” Of course I was struggling. Why bother denying it anymore? It was just too big a change to handle, after what I’d been through.

My communicator buzzed in the silence. I flicked the screen. A message from Ms Weston.

“You’re needed on Aglaia tomorrow. The council will make its final decision, and if the situation turns hostile your abilities as a shield may be needed.”

I sagged against the wall.

She knew. Everything.

“Ada?” said Amanda, alarmed. “What is it?”

I shook my head. “I have to go.”

It was finally happening. The Alliance planned to use me as a human shield.

I stopped halfway to the gates. There was only one thing to do. I pulled out my communicator again, found Kay’s number, and hit the call button.

“Hey,” I said, quickly. “Sorry for calling you like this. I–I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Ms Weston just sent out a message.”

“Yeah, I got it,” said Kay. “Wait, she sent it to you?”

“She wants to use me as a shield, Kay.” I closed my eyes. “I’m not okay with that. She
knows
it nearly killed me. Was this why the Alliance hired me?” I was babbling now. “They just wanted to use me? Seriously, Kay, tell me this isn’t some huge mistake.”

“What exactly did she say?”

I repeated the message.

“That can’t be right,” he said. “Aggressive magic is forbidden in Aglaia by law–you know that.”

“Yeah, and I know there’s likely to be a war. You said so yourself. I’m not being anyone’s shield. I absorb magic, I can’t control if it gets out again. That’s how I killed–I killed.” I sank down onto the ground, my breath catching.

“Ada, you’re not going to kill anyone. The Balance had tipped, remember? Earth’s levels aren’t usually that high. Neither are Aglaia’s. You won’t lose control. I’ll talk to her, but she’s obviously got some kind of plan… God
dammit
. Why would she even suggest that?”

“About time!” I said, my voice rising in pitch. “I’d leave the Alliance first. I’d
die
first. I almost did die when I absorbed magic last time. She
knows
that.” I took a deep shuddering breath.

“I said I’ll talk to her.” He cursed under his breath. “It’s all I can do. Where are you?”

“Training grounds, going to meet my brother. Dammit, Kay, I can’t do this.”

“Then we’ll figure it out. Talk to her tomorrow. I’m in Valeria, dealing with–look, I’ll get on her case soon as I can, but you need to speak to her yourself.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that!” I snapped. “I just don’t have a lot of options at the moment, and as it happens, I’d rather lose my job than go out there again.”

“You knew you’d have to go into the field, Ada. I’m just saying–”

“Not as a weapon!” I said. “You want to know why? I’m scared. I’m terrified out of my freaking mind that I’ll kill people again, and I am
not
being the Alliance’s shield.”

A pause.

“You, scared?” said Kay. “Whatever happened to the person who refused to let a tiny thing like being imprisoned in a magically-secured building stop her from escaping and taking out half the Alliance’s guard in the process? Who risked her own life for the sake of the Multiverse even when she was being used against her will? Jesus Christ, Ada.”

I jerked back like he’d hit me. My eyes stung. “You know, not all of us can walk away unscathed from murdering someone.”

A long pause. “Unscathed?” said Kay, his tone harsh. “Look, you have two choices, Ada. You can let this break you, or you can get the hell over it. You made your choice. You have to live with yourself either way.”

“So that’s it?” I said. “That’s all you have to say to me? Why I ever thought you had the tiniest bit of sympathy–I’ve no idea. I thought I could
talk
to you.” And now the floodgates were opening. “There’s no one else in the whole Multiverse who has a goddamned
clue
what I went through. But oh no, you’re too busy saving the Multiverse to care about someone else, right?”

“That’s
not
what I said,” he said quietly. “I never said I didn’t get it. I do, more than you know. But you have to stand up on your own. No one else can do it for you.”

“Yeah,” I said, wearily. “I get that. I’m still standing, aren’t I?”

“Then stand up to Ms Weston. I’ll back you up, but you’re going to have to talk to her yourself. For God’s sake, Ada, you’re better than this.”

“You know, I’m having a hard time believing that at the moment.” Let him think what he liked. Screw it all. He’d seen the worst of me already. It didn’t make a blind bit of difference.

“Then you’re being stupid. Ms Weston isn’t the whole Alliance, Ada. You have people on your team. Your brothers, for one. Your guardian. Right?”

Dammit. He just had to remind me.

“Actually, my guardian called me a
monster,
so I’m not exactly well-inclined towards her at the moment.”

“She said
what?”
He sounded genuinely shocked.

“She implied it. I–she said Central would do to me what they did to Skyla. That she was a monster. But it’s the same thing that happened to me.”

And Kay.
For God’s sake, Ada.
I gritted my teeth, hand clenching the communicator, waiting for him to hang up. I’d reminded him of something he most likely wanted to forget. To
get the hell over.
Was it really so easy for him?

He didn’t hang up. Didn’t say anything, either.

Then: “Is
she
a magic-wielder?”

“No. No, she isn’t.” I closed my eyes, loosening my grip.

“Then she doesn’t know a damn thing. I know she’s your guardian, but no one has the right to talk to you like that.”

He didn’t acknowledge the implication that she’d said
he
was a monster, too. I wiped my eyes with my free hand.

“We’ll sort this tomorrow.” This time, he did hang up.

People on my team.
Oh, God, I’m an idiot
. I was so wrapped up in everything, it had never even crossed my mind Kay might have had just as much trouble dealing with the aftermath of last month as I had. I might not know much about his past, but I knew he didn’t have any family or any kind of support network outside of the Alliance. And he was an Ambassador, saddled with responsibility, and entirely too good at hiding what he was thinking.

I’d wiped the worst of the tears away before I met Jeth, but he could tell something was up.

“Panic attack,” I muttered, and refused to answer any more questions.

The last thing I wanted was to confront Nell, especially now I had proof the Alliance were as underhanded as she’d thought. They really intended to use me.

“Ada, you’re starting to worry me.” Jeth unlocked the front door to our house. “Did something happen? Seriously. That guy who threatened you–Aric. What did he say to you?”

“It’s not that.” I followed him into the hallway. “Honestly. I threatened
him,
actually. Kicked him in the balls.”

Jeth raised an eyebrow. “Wow. Glad I’m on your side.”

I wanted to tell him. But that would mean betraying Alliance secrets. I was trapped on both sides.

“What’s up?” Alber came out of the living room. “I thought you’d be back now. Nell’s cleared off again.”

“She has?” I said. “What is it this time?”

“She’s at the Knights’. Someone’s been threatening them. Word got out about their old bloodrock supplies and someone wanted to buy some. But it’s all gone.”

“Really? Threatening them?”

“I don’t know,” said Alber. “Nell’s pretty angry though. Why do you two look so serious?”

“I’m trying to get Ada to tell me,” said Jeth. “Want to try?”

“Honestly,” I muttered. “It really isn’t a big deal.”

As I passed by Alber, I noticed he wasn’t wearing his contact lenses, and his purple mageblood eyes gleamed in the dark hallway.

“Why no lenses?” I asked.

He shrugged. “No one’s been around. Why?”

I’d never asked before. But then, I always kept my own eyes hidden. Even if it wasn’t linked to my power, it was conspicuous on Earth. I knew exposing my real eyes wouldn’t destroy the planet, but still.

“What’s it like?” I asked Alber. “Being mageblood?”

He blinked. “Uh… What brought this on?”

“Just wondered what it feels like to be a magic-wielder who doesn’t have the power to destroy the Multiverse living in your skin.” And now I wished I could staple my mouth shut.

Alber blinked. Jeth asked, “Is that what this is about?”

“Yeah.” I threw my bag down with a sigh. “There’s no way I can risk using magic anymore. But the Alliance will expect me to. And even if they don’t, it’s part of me. I can’t ever be rid of it.”

“Ada, you’re being stupid,” said Alber. “You know any of us can use third level power in the Passages, right?
Anyone
who can use magic can use it to destroy the world, if they wanted to. You
don’t
want to. You almost killed yourself trying to stop it.”

“What he said.” Jeth nodded. “Ada, you need to stop blaming yourself for what the Campbells did to you. It was their doing, not yours.”

“I know.” I closed my eyes. “But the magic came from me. And I killed people with it–killed Delta. I meant to.”

Jeth sucked in a breath. “Ada, I don’t care and neither does Alber. You think either of us wouldn’t have done the same? You saved the planet, plus the Balance. You don’t have to use magic again, if you don’t want to.”

“Listen to us, because you’re being a complete dipshit, Ada,” said Alber.

“Ha.” I shook my head. “Thanks, guys.”

Yeah. Kay was right, I did have people on my team. But before all this craziness, I’d have said anyone who could just walk away from killing someone could only be totally heartless, like the Campbells, or deranged. Kay was neither. Whatever Aric had said. And I’d done enough prying already.

Look, you have two choices, Ada. You can let this break you, or you can get the hell over it. You made your choice. You have to live with yourself either way.

If the Alliance really wanted to use me as a shield, I only hoped I’d make the right choice this time.

KAY

“Good news,” said Ms Weston, to Ada and me, as we stood in her office the following morning. “The centaurs were able to come to an agreement. Markos’s sister takes the throne.”

I stared at her. Of all the things I’d expected her to come out with, that was so far from my expectations I honestly didn’t know what to say. After the ruckus on Valeria yesterday, reporting the Conners and trying to get a cross-world arrest warrant sent out without anyone ending up killed–including me–I hadn’t had the mind-space to think about Aglaia. Really, it seemed an unnecessary distraction. Aric was still here somewhere, as was his blasted sister. And I hadn’t known until now if Ms Weston had heard about the Conners’ arrest. Apparently not.

“Yes,” she said, her expression unchanging. “Markos’s cousin was colluding with rebels. They were found in possession of a substance not naturally found on Aglaia, pure obsidiate. It seems they intended to create magic-based weapons to use against the mages. Tryfon was executed at dawn, as were all rebels found on centaur territory.”

Ada gasped. “No way.”

What?
“Just like that?”

“Centaurs are remarkably efficient.”

No kidding.
Given how close Ada and I had come to being killed by them, I couldn’t say I was sorry.

“What happened to the obsidiate?” I asked. “The Alliance took it, right? Because that alone might spark a war.” Literally, given that it had such a high recoil level.

“The council took it from them, yes. There is to be a discussion on what to do with it. In any case, despite this unpleasantness, the centaur and human communities have agreed to a renewal of the treaty between their species and with the Alliance regardless.”