Nephilius - A Walker Saga Book 5 (30 page)

I pursed my
lips. Before biting down on my cheeks in worry. “I don’t trust
them
,” I finally said, smiling to lessen
the bluntness of my words.

I knew
Josian loved his little crazy
lalunas.

“
Well
, we still need to talk to
them first,” he insisted. His face was definitely pale, very unlike
his usual luminescence.

I got that
he was worried
– understandably so. One
wrong decision could mean the end of the worlds.

“
Okay
,” I finally
agreed.

Some color
crept back into his cheeks
, which made me
feel a bit better.

“
I’ll get
Brace for you
. Call me if … it doesn’t go
well.”

I grabbed
his arm. “No, I’d rather be outside to talk with him.” I wasn’t
sure if he was going to lose it
, and open
spaces were better for energy explosions.

I walked
down with Josian. We made random small talk, discussing Lallielle’s
new artwork that he had splashed all around the
house
, and the next town fair, which was
coming up soon. He mentioned that Samuel was back in the house and
that Quarn was still leading the protective duty at the castle. I
missed my guardian. I needed to find some time to visit
him.

“Has Samuel seen Lucy since she got
pixiefied?” I asked as we crossed to the white room.

Josian shook
his head. “No, the men I sent to k
eep an
eye on him reported that he’d been holed up with some old friends.
He only got back today.”

I chuckled
then
. I had thought Josian was being
pretty relaxed about Samuel. Good to know he’d been on top of that
one. There were definitely benefits to being princeps and having
men at your beck and call.

When I
s
tepped through the doorway, my eyes were
immediately drawn to Brace. He stood in front of the large windows,
legs splayed, his expression serious. Seeing him in front of the
glassed wall brought forth the memory of smashing through that
front window, the pain of all the glass, and how he had taken care
of me. I forced the memories back. It was time to focus on
now.

Brace
straightened, zeroing in on me with his melting-pot-of-chocolate
eyes. He looked tired, but sexy as hell. He had a few
days
’ growth on his face, which took his
general badass vibe and tipped him right over into dark and
dangerous.

“
You have
some explaining to do, Red
,” he bit out,
narrowing his eyes at me.

Red.

I swallowed
loudly. Oh
, hell, how much did he
know?

We walked in
silence and I could feel the simmering heat from Brace. The salty
breeze ruffled my curls
. I was mentally
searching for the right words. How to start this conversation? It
was hard not knowing what he’d remembered.

But I
couldn’t deny my joy at hearing his nickname for me. I’d missed the
way he called me Red
. His voice always
went a little deeper, husky with untold things. And it jolted me
the same way every time.

Finally
, when I couldn’t stand it
any longer, words started to fall out of my mouth. I always sounded
like a lunatic when I was nervous, and this was even worse than
usual.

“
I’m so
sorry, Brace. I never wanted things to end up like this. I’m not
sure what you remember
, but yes, we’re
mates, and we were bonded before … a melding bond.”

He froze.

I hurried to
continue, needing to get it all out. “There was a
prophecy from Lucy, the end of the worlds. But
now it turns out she’s a pixie and some of her predictions might be
planted or fake or something. I don’t know.”

He was watching me closely, his expression
guarded. But his jaw was locked in a way that meant bad things.

So of course
this only increased the word
-vomit.

“
And now I
think maybe the vision was wrong, but the lalunas destroyed the
melding bond and Josian said we have to talk with them before we do
anything
–” I broke off. “I mean, if
that’s what you want to do?” I forced my mouth shut, teeth clinking
together.

He didn’t
answer
. I doubted he could even talk
through that rigid jaw. Damn, he might be so pissed off at my
choices and lies that he’d walk away from me. Just say ‘screw you,
Abby, and your melding bond’.

And then with a groan he dragged me into his
arms and kissed me.

With all of
his pent
-up anger I expected his lips to
hit mine hard, in a punishing sort of kiss. But it was the complete
opposite. So softly did he touch his mouth to mine, and the moment
I tasted him, after so long without, the tears flooded my eyes. I
was leaking all over the place lately. He took his time, building
slowly until the kiss started to morph into something
more.

Hotter. Instantly drying up my tears.

Our breaths came out in hard gasps. I poured
every bit of my anger, sorrow and loneliness into that kiss, but
the strongest emotion was my love. I loved this man so much. Was
more in love with him than I’d ever thought possible. And Brace
gave back as good as he got.

He finally pulled away, before cupping my
face and resting his head on mine.

“I think I followed along with what you
said, but I need you to tell me everything,” he said quietly.
“Start at the beginning.”

We sat then,
on the grass with the ocean roaring in front of us. It was dark,
stars and a few of the planets twinkling in the sky above us. Brace
held my hand but otherwise we didn’t touch. And with one big breath
I started right at the beginning
: the
dreams I’d had of him on Earth, details of the house in the snow –
which I’d been dying to visit again – and followed our story right
up to the moment I went to the lalunas and asked them to break our
melding bond.

My hand felt
sweaty in his, but I held on, afraid he wanted to pull away.
Telling him everything was painful, but for the first time in a
long time I wasn’t lying
, and that was
the biggest relief I could imagine.

He silently processed my words for a little
while, before he spoke.

“
I thought I
was going crazy,” he said
, staring out
into the darkness. “I continued to hear
Red
in my mind, as if I’d
called you that a million times, and yet I knew I hadn’t. All of
the dreams, having a mate. I was trying not to push myself on you,
but I was desperate to spend time with you. I made Colton find
excuses to bring me in to things. Hoping it wouldn’t seem weird.”
He cleared his throat. “And every time we were together the need to
touch you almost strangled me.”

He pulled
his hand away then, and everything inside me clenched so tightly I
thought my heart might actually be crushed. I
had expected anger. Hell, I wanted him to be angry with me.
But this sadness was torture.

“
I’m … I’m
so sorry
,” I stuttered out. Stupid
useless words. My actions were what counted, and they’d been
nothing short of terrible. “I wanted to tell you. I went to tell
you so many times, but Lucy kept having those visions. Everyone was
dead. Josian said you would never let me break the
bond.”

“
You went to
Josian and Lucy
,” he growled, lowering
his eyes, letting those inky lashes fan across his cheeks. “This
was about us. You should have come to me first.”

Well
, technically Lucy had come
to me, but I knew what he meant.

“So what do you want to do now?” I held my
breath.

What if he
stormed off and never spoke with me again
? I’d probably die on the spot.

Luckily for
me, he was hundreds of years older than my eighteen years, and his
maturity far out
-stretched my own. He
lifted his gaze to meet mine.

“I want you back by my side where you
belong. And I want every damn memory returned.” He lifted me with
ease and I found myself sprawled on his lap. “And then I want many
nights to tie you to my bed where you can’t get into any
trouble.”

He fisted
handfuls of my hair, gently tilting my head back to face him. “I
feel your regret, and the true pain you
’ve experienced. But trust is a fundamental part of any
relationship, and right now it’s damaged between us. Only time can
repair this bond, so if I act a little tyrannical and possessive
just remember I’m working to get us back to the place you
described. The way we were when you visited my world.”

“
So we go to
the lalunas now?” I tucked myself further into his
body
. The warmth and heat of Brace
wrapped around me. “And what if the visions were correct? We could
be damning the entire universe by reforming the melding
bond.”

“
It makes no
logical sense that you would be weaker mated to me.” Brace was
tracing patterns on my back, his hands leaving hot trails on my
skin. “Especially if we were melded
.
That’s the ultimate yin and yang. Two halves of the same whole; and
essentially everything is stronger when it’s whole.”

That had
been my most recent revelation. But still my worry that this was
selfish prevailed. I started to laugh then, the relief of sharing
the burden, or releasing the lies
, took
its toll. I was shaking as embarrassing snorts and gasps escaped
from me.

“
I lasted
like ten minutes without you
,” I said
between chuckles. “I thought I was so strong. I was going to be the
self-sacrificing martyr – which I deserved after releasing the
third Seventine – but I’m starting to realize how unappealing the
role of sacrifice really is.”

I was weak. There was no denying it. But
dammit, I was eighteen, and if the worlds ended I wanted every last
second with Brace.

“
You’re
strong.” Brace coul
d read me even without
our mental link in place. “It took strength to break the bond, to
do what you felt was right. No matter what you think, you can never
take away the fact that you sacrificed your happiness for the lives
of others. You’re deserving of the role of conduit.”

He stood
then, scooping me into his arms so there wasn
’t one sliver of space between our tightly pressed bodies.
“And I’m proud to call you mate. I wouldn’t have chosen anything
different. I would not change one thing about you.” He started to
walk us along the beach, back toward the house. “Not even your
stubborn ass, which is determined to give me a heart
attack.”

He sounded
like my old Brace then, and for the first time in forever I felt
the tension leave my body. And suddenly I was beyond exhausted. I
laid my head on his chest and let myself drift with his walking
motions. It had been a
hard few days,
what with being a living energy bag and all of that. It was nice to
just have a breather, and to have no secrets between us anymore.
This didn’t fix things, not by a long shot, but it was a step in
the right direction.

“
I was
letting other people tell me what to do when I knew in my gut that
I should have followed my own instincts
,”
I murmured to Brace, and myself, I guess. “If I’m going to be the
leader that brings about the destruction of the Seventine then I
need to be stronger, trust in myself more.”

His chest
moved under my cheek as he replied
, “It’s
not wrong to seek wise council. No true leader believes they know
everything. Otherwise you have a dictator like Que. He didn’t start
out bad, but somewhere along the way the power corrupted him and he
could no longer see reason. And no longer did he consider the
opinions of others.”

Brace’s deep voice rumbled around. “But in
the end you must trust your own instincts, and mine. You should be
grateful that you have me.”

I elbowed him, and he laughed.

“
Seriously,
I’m a smart guy
. If you want anyone in
your corner for the end-of-days battle … well, you could do
worse.”

“You and me against the world, baby.” I was
slurring a little as exhaustion claimed me.

“Sleep, Red, I’ll keep you safe.”

Hearing
those words again was a balm to my wounded soul. And
even though I didn’t want to lose any time with
Brace, I couldn’t stop myself from drifting to sleep.

The voices
woke me first
. I was disorientated for a
moment, wondering why my bed was so hard and yet so comfortable.
And then I remembered my confession to Brace, and with a jolt of
adrenalin I realized I was still in his lap. I didn’t open my eyes,
though. I was going to milk this moment for as long as
possible.

“You won’t have time to go to the lalunas.
We have to be back on Nephilius in an hour.” That was Colton.

“Delane is more of a pain in the ass than
Fury, and that’s saying something.” Lucy spoke next.

“
She just
has a code of honor. You can’t blame a person for being strong
enough to stay true to themselves
,” Brace
said, his familiar rumbling voice washing over me. “And there’s no
chance she’ll beat me, so I just need to finish these rounds and
then we can help Red move on to the next world.”