Never a Bride (24 page)

She trembled beneath his touch, and Camden smiled. There was immense satisfaction in the way she responded to him.

“Oh, yes, my lord,” she murmured, dragging her lips away from his. She kissed his chin, his neck and back up to his lips. “That is where it feels most pleasurable.”

“For me too, my darling.”

He didn’t want her excitement to end too soon, so he stopped the stroking of her center and found her entry. He forced a finger inside. She was so tight. He feared she would not accept all of him the first time.

“I’m going to bring you to your peak, and just after that, I will enter you. It will hurt at first. Just lie still and it will be over soon.”

“Oh, Camden, how can something this wonderful hurt?”

“That is a promise, Mirabella. It will.”

He slid his fingers back to her center and relished the sensations touching her gave him. Within moments, she gasped in pleasure and arched toward him. He kissed her harder and drove his finger inside her. She tightened around him, and Camden almost lost control.

When her body started relaxing, he positioned himself at her opening and shoved into her with a quick thrust. She made a soft sound of discomfort but did not cry out. Her arms tightened on his back. He moved forward slowly, pushing in and out with long easy strokes.

“Stay with me, Mirabella, I swear it will not take long this time.”

And it didn’t. It was over almost before it began. She was so tight he knew it hurt her, but she didn’t say a word of protest. He never had doubted she was a virgin, but still, there was a flash of immense satisfaction when he broke through her innocence and made her his.

His forever.

Camden rested his face in the crook of her neck. He breathed deeply, drinking in her warm, womanly scent. He kissed her skin softly. He would love her forever, desire her all his life, but he would never feel any more complete than he did right now. She had allowed him to make love to her in his room, in his father’s house.

She had always told him that she didn’t care what Society thought about her. He finally believed her, for surely no other young woman of quality would allow her fiancé such uninhibited freedom.

He
was the one always worried about her reputation. He was the one who had threatened Stephenson and Farthingdale should they dare to talk ill of her again. He was the one who had fretted over her masculine disguise. She didn’t have a problem with the unconventional.
He
did. And why? Because of Hortense? Because of a young woman who had made him the most talked about man in the
ton
for years.

Camden had vowed to deny himself love because Hortense had mocked his youthful love for her. She made him such a laughingstock in Town that he had left the country and had planned never to return to Society. He didn’t know if he ever forgave Hortense, but he soon forgot about her. Mirabella was different. She had defied what was proper, acceptable and expected of her—and still he desired her.

The devil. He craved her.

He had returned to London thinking he only wanted a suitable wife to give him pleasure in bed and children to ride on his knee. Now he realized he wanted so much more from Mirabella than just being proper.

Lying with her, he realized he didn’t give a damn if Society should think that Mirabella was unchaste because she had been kissed by other men. And he didn’t give a damn how many gentlemen had kissed her. Not one damn. No one had possessed her but him and now she was totally and completely his forever.

Mirabella was right for him. And that was all that mattered.

Mirabella couldn’t slow her breathing. She didn’t want to. She wanted to go on feeling the exquisite sensations that shuddered through her body and soul, making her want to moan with delight. She had never felt such wonderful fulfillment, such great contentment. What she had just experienced was so stunning she didn’t want it to be over. It was unbelievable satisfaction and joyous completion.

But once this time with Camden was over, she would have to start learning to live without him in her life. Now, it was more important than ever that she dissolve this ruse with Camden. She had to do it now before he realized she had fallen in love with him, before she slipped up and stated what she felt in her heart. She could tell him of her love, but she feared it would fill him with guilt. It was better to keep what was in her heart to herself.

Last night, she realized she couldn’t go on deceiving her father either, making him believe she would be married. Perhaps as Camden had suggested, Sarah had lived a lie, but Mirabella couldn’t. She must tell her father everything and free Camden to go on with his life.

Camden lay quiet and still on top of her. His breathing was returning to normal. She stroked his back, loving the feel of his skin beneath her hands. He was heavy, but she didn’t mind. She welcomed his weight upon her.

Oh, would this one time in his arms, in his bed, give her enough memories to last a lifetime?

Camden stirred.

“No, don’t move,” she whispered.

Let me enjoy this a few moments longer.

“I am afraid that I’m hurting you.”

“The pain was only for a moment. Now it’s gone. Does the pleasure have to end, too?”

“Only for a minute or two. Then I shall be ready to go again.” He raised up on his elbows and looked down into her eyes. “Mirabella, I think I’m in love with you.”

She gasped, not believing he had said to her the words she was too fearful to say to him. “No.”

“Yes. Truly, it has shocked me as much as you, but I must be. I desire you as I never have any other woman. If I’m not with you, my mind is constantly filled with thoughts of you. When I’m away from you, I long to be with you. When I’m with you, I enjoy watching you, talking with you. I love the way you challenge me at every turn.”

“But I betrayed your trust. I kissed those—”

He put a finger to her lips and silenced her. “It doesn’t matter. I now know you didn’t kiss any of them because you desired them.”

“No, only you.”

“Oh, Mirabella, my love, you make my heart soar.” He kissed her lips softly as his hand lovingly caressed her shoulder and breast.

“And you, sir, make me happy,” she said lovingly against his lips.

“That is a great compliment.”

“When will you know for sure?” she asked.

He kissed her eyes, her nose and each cheek before giving her a questioning look. “What’s that?”

“You said you
think
you love me. When will you know for sure that you love me?”

Camden laughed and hugged her tightly to him. “You constantly test me, Mirabella. I know for sure right now. It is here in my heart.” He took her hand and placed it on his chest. “I love you, Mirabella, and I want to marry you and make you mine.”

She tensed. It was one thing for him to love her, to accept her as a lover, but to offer marriage after she had behaved so scandalously?

“Marry you? Oh, Camden, do not tease me. Do you mean that?”

“Of course I do. These are not words I would use lightly.”

Mirabella trembled with happiness. She felt like her heart would burst with the love she was feeling for him. After years of waiting for him to return and say those words, she was overcome with joy.

“And you truly want me for your bride?”

“Yes, my lovely and passionate lady. I want you for my bride.”

“This is not a trick?”

“I am not a trickster. I don’t want to wait until autumn is upon us, or next spring during the Season. I want to marry you as soon as possible.”

Mirabella trembled with happiness. “Camden, I have known for a long time that I loved you.”

“Then I am a lucky man.”

“I never dreamed you would return my love.”

“I have to admit that it took me by surprise. I vowed to never again fall in love. And what I have discovered is that I never loved Hortense the way I love you.”

Mirabella raised on her elbows and kissed his neck, his shoulder, his nipples before raising her face to look into his eyes. “I was just lying here wondering how I was going to say good-bye to you.”

“No good-byes for us, Mirabella. From now on, we will have only good nights and good mornings.”

He moved inside her, and her lower body quickened in response. She lifted her hips to him. She wanted to show him just how much she loved and desired him. He handled her gently, in and out with long strokes. She matched his motion and met each thrust with eager anticipation.

“And we will not have separate bedrooms, Mirabella.”

She liked the sound of the heightened sigh in his voice. “Never, my lord.”

“I’ll need you to be in my bed with me every night.”

“And every morning.”

Camden laughed but never stopped moving. “Mornings, too? I can see you are going to expect a lot from me.”

“All you can give.”

“Oh, yes, my dearest Mirabella.”

Camden sank deeply into her with every plunge.

Mirabella lifted her face to his and claimed his lips in a kiss desperate to take more of him into her. Camden slid his hands under her back and cupped her tightly to his chest, making her one with him as he rode both of them to the climax of their pleasure.

Mirabella was out of breath again and still filled with wonder. She was overwhelmed with joy and contentment.

“You touch my soul, sweet, sweet Mirabella. I know you need to get home, but I must have more of you before you go.”

“Do not send me home, my lover. I want to be here with you.”

“I must give you up, but only until we can marry. I promise you, I will insist your father make the arrangements with all haste.”

***

Mirabella woke with a start. She lay on her back in Camden’s bed. He was on his side facing her with one arm thrown over her breasts. She looked at him. He slept peacefully. Had he really told her he loved her and wanted to marry her? She smiled and then silently laughed. She was filled with immense joy. How blessed she was that Camden had overlooked her inappropriate behavior.

She turned to snuggle into his arms when she caught sight of the window. Daylight shone bright. She had to get home. Her father would be worried about her. She glanced back at Camden. There was no need to disturb him. No doubt he was tired from their lovemaking. She had no idea that it would be such an exhausting endeavor.

With care, she gently slipped out from under his arm and slid off the bed. She picked up her undergarments and toga and stepped into them. She searched the rug and found enough pins to twist her hair on top of her head and then replaced her headpiece. As an afterthought, she picked up Camden’s great coat and stuffed her arms into the sleeves. She didn’t want to be seen outside still dressed in her toga.

She silently threw the latch and eased out of the room without awakening Camden. At the top of the stairs, she stopped and listened. When she heard nothing from below, she hurried down.

On her way to the front door, she spotted her mask and knew that she should take it with her. She picked it up and tried to stick it in the pocket of Camden’s coat, but some papers made it impossible. She placed the mask back on the table and pulled out the papers. When she went to lay them aside, she noticed the words
Mr. Brackley.
Who would address Camden so informally? No one should ever use his family name.

Mirabella unfolded the paper and immediately saw that the correspondence was from America. Of course, they wouldn’t recognize his title over there. She didn’t intend to read the letter, but her eyes just never left the paper.

Dear Mr. Brackley:

I have received your urgent letter stating that you wish to sell your holdings in the Maryland Ship Building Company with all haste. I understand your financial duress is immediate, but I can see no quick solution from this end as we are still awaiting final approval of our new steam engine.

I can only suggest that you make whatever arrangements you feel necessary in your own land to eliminate your current financial emergency. I shall be in touch as soon as it is appropriate to do so.

My best regards,

Thomas Peterson

Mirabella’s heart went cold. She stared at the letter and read it again.
Make whatever arrangements you feel necessary… to eliminate your financial worries.
Marrying her without delay, as Camden had suggested, would certainly eliminate his immediate financial worries.

She shook off the offending thought. No, Camden wouldn’t do that. It was a ridiculous thought. She had no idea why it entered her mind. Camden had never tried to hide from her that his family’s financial status was in shambles.

What was wrong with her? She shouldn’t be thinking that he suddenly wanted to marry her for her dowry. Why was she having these horrible doubts?

If Camden had only wanted to marry her for the remainder of the dowry, which was a considerable sum, he didn’t have to tell her he loved her.

She had once told him she would ask her father to extend a promissory note to repay the dowry. She knew Camden’s family’s finances were in poor shape. Camden had admitted that more than once. But something else he had said suddenly struck her. He had told her she didn’t need to
force
him to marry her. He
needed
to marry her.

She looked up the stairs toward Camden’s room. Should she go back up and confront him? Would he deny it? She didn’t know, but she was going to find out.

Mirabella turned to head back up the stairs when she heard a noise from the back of the house and froze. Someone was humming and heading her way. Hudson must have returned. She quickly stuffed the paper back into the pocket of the coat and hurried out the front door.

At the edge of the street she stopped. She couldn’t talk to her father about this. As far as he was concerned love had nothing to do with marriage. She would go to Uncle Archer’s house. Maybe he had some thoughts on what she should do about Camden.

She dug her hand into the other pocket and found several coins. She would hire a hack to take her to her uncle’s town house.

***

A knock on the door awoke Camden suddenly. He jerked upright in bed to find that Mirabella was not with him. He looked on the floor. Her clothes were gone. “Camden, it’s Hudson. May I come in?”

“Just a minute.” Camden hoped Mirabella had left the house before Hudson arrived. He jumped off the bed and went to his wardrobe and quickly pulled out a pair of trousers. He stepped into them as he walked to the door. He opened the door and immediately saw a worried expression on Hudson’s face. Maybe he had seen Mirabella. Damnation, how had he slept through her getting out of bed? Why hadn’t she awakened him to see her home?

“What’s wrong?” Camden asked his brother.

Hudson walked in and closed the door behind him. “Nothing, I hope.” He made a deliberate show of looking around the room, paying close attention to the bed and draperies.

Camden grabbed a shirt off a chair and pulled it on. Something was wrong. He asked his brother, “When did you get in?”

“Not long ago. You have guests downstairs. They arrived only minutes ago.”

“Mirabella?”

“No, her father and his butler.”

Blast it.
“Mr. Whittingham?”

Hudson looked inside Camden’s wardrobe, parting the clothes, but Camden remained quiet.

“One and the same,” Hudson said. “And the old man doesn’t look well.”

“Did he say what he wants?” Camden sat down on his slipper chair to put on his shoes.

“His daughter.”

Camden glanced up from his buckle and looked at Hudson. Their eyes held. “Mirabella?”

“Does he have another? For God’s sake, don’t be thick-witted, Camden. It appears he thinks she is here in our house. Is she?”

Camden had never known of Hudson using a reprimanding tone in his life, and his first instinct was to put his brother in his place. But Camden took it slow and finished buckling his shoe. Hudson obviously didn’t know Mirabella had been there, and Camden intended to keep it that way. What happened between him and Mirabella was no one’s business. Not even her father’s. She was obviously making her own way home right now.

“Well? Have you disgraced your fiancée here in your own home?”

Hudson was dangerously close to being rammed against the wall, but Camden held his anger in check. “As you can see,” Camden pointed to the wardrobe, “she’s not here. If she’s missing, I’ll find her.”

“I hope you know what you are doing, Brother. You are the last person who needs another scandal. And quite frankly, I’m not sure Mama could withstand another.”

“You’ve said enough, Hudson.” Camden prayed his brother heeded his warning.

Hudson backed down. “I’m going down to make the old man some tea. He looks as if he’s on his last leg.”

Camden grabbed a short length of black ribbon and tied back his hair without putting a comb to it. He then snatched a neckcloth off the dresser and tied it in a simple bow around his neck trying to make himself presentable.

He strode into the parlor with one thought on his mind.
Protect Mirabella.

Camden had never cared what kind of shameful things had been said about Hortense. He remembered thinking she deserved whatever gossip made the rounds. But he couldn’t bear the thought of Mirabella’s reputation being ripped to shreds on damning tongues and scandal sheets. He would fight anyone who dared speak against her.