Never Be Lied to Again (5 page)

Does it become more relaxed and less defensive? The giveaway here is how fast and dramatically his mood changes, indicating his discomfort with the previous subject matter. Test him to see if he's quick to change the subject. If he has been accused of something abominable and is innocent, he will resent the accusations and will insist that the topic be explored further, either now or at some future date.

Remember, the guilty wants the subject changed; the innocent always wants a further exchange of information.

C L U E 32

How Dare You Accuse Me?

If he is accused of something harsh and is not indignant and offended that his honour has been questioned, this is a highly reliable sign that he's been caught off guard. It's been said that during the preliminary stages of the 0. J. Simpson investigation, detectives thought it curious that Simpson did not appear to be outraged by the accusation that he had murdered his ex-wife and her friend Ron Goldman.

While he is being accused the liar will remain fairly expressionless, like a student being admonished by his principal. A look as if to say "What?!" will not be present. The liar is more concerned with how he is going to respond than he is with the accusation itself.

C L U E 33

Never Believe Anyone Who Says This

Have you ever met someone who insisted on starting statements with phrases such as "To be perfectly honest," "To be frank," or "To tell you the truth"?

Someone who is telling the truth doesn't need to convince you before he gets his words out. Some people habitually use these phrases. Such expressions mean literally that everything that came before them is a lie, everything that will come after will be a lie, but for now he's decided to pause to tell you the truth. If these phrases are not part of a person's usual verbal repertoire, watch out! If someone's going to tell you the truth, it's unlikely that he would start off by saying just that. If he feels the need to tell you that he's being honest and that you're about to receive the whole truth, you can be pretty sure you're not getting it.

Also included in this clue is the ever-pervasive and always annoying phrase "Why would I lie to you?" If you receive this response to an accusation you've made, be suspicious. If he's being accused of something, he probably has an excellent reason to lie.

I cannot tell a lie. Or can I? The phrase "I never lie" should always be received with caution. Anyone who needs to declare his virtuous nature does so because there is no other way for you to find out.

Some people will say just about anything to sound believable, even lie straight to your face. One's honour should speak for itself. When a person tells you that he is the most honest person that you will ever meet, don't walk away—run.

C L U E 34

I've Got My Answer Down Pat

If his answer sounds pat and well rehearsed, there's a fair chance that he was expecting the question and took the time to get his story straight. Having facts and details at your fingertips that should not be easily recalled is a good indication that you have prepared.

For instance, suppose Samantha, when asked where she was on a particular day two months ago, responds with, "I went to work, left at five-thirty, had dinner at Caracella's until seven forty-five, and then went straight home."

Law enforcement officers are aware of and use this clue with great results. Suppose a police detective questions a suspect. If the suspect is able to recall what he did and where he was on a given date two years earlier, something is very wrong. Most of us can't remember what we had for breakfast yesterday morning!

Rehearsed answers also provide a person with a way of giving you information that you never asked for, information that they want known. Politicians are famous for answering questions that were never asked. They have an agenda that will come out regardless of the questions put to them. Sometimes they don't even bother to rework the question; they just take off in their own direction. During the William Kennedy Smith rape trial, Smith's uncle Ted Kennedy was called as a defence witness to testify about to his knowledge of the day. In just minutes the courtroom was treated to Kennedy's taking us through the history of his family, the death of his brothers, and the trials and tribulations of his life.

The courtroom was mesmerized. This was done to evoke the Kennedy aura and charm for the benefit of William Kennedy Smith. Whether it had a direct impact or not is hard to say, but Smith was found not guilty.

C L U E 35

Can You Repeat the Question, Please?

Instead of hemming and hawing, he may resort to one of the following statements to buy himself some time, to review the best course of action, to prepare his answer, or to shift the topic entirely. They are all designed to delay his answer. For example, you ask someone hold old he is and he responds with "How old do you think I am?" It's obvious that your answer may influence his. Here are some of the more popular ones.

1. "Could you repeat the question?"

2. "It depends on how you look at it."

3. "What's your point exactly?"

4. "Why would you ask something like that?"

5. "Where did you hear that?"

6. "Where is this coming from?"

7. "Could you be more specific?"

8. "How dare you ask me something like that?"

9. "I think we both know the answer to that."

10. "Well, it's not so simple as yes or no."

11. "That's an excellent question. It deserves some

thought."

12. "Can you keep a secret? Great. So can I."

13. "I'm not sure this is the best place to discuss this."

14. The person repeats your question back to you, an attempt at sounding incredulous. For example,

"Did I sell you a puppy with a heart condition? Is that what you're asking me?"

C L U E 36

Sleight of Mouth

You've heard the old saying "If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is." During the 0.

J. Simpson trial, Detective Mark Fuhrman said on the witness stand and under oath that he had never in the past ten years used a specific racial epithet.

Almost no one—including the jury—believed that this was true. He would have been deemed as much more credible had he admitted to using racial epithets on occasion and with regret. But saying he never used them in any context seemed highly implausible. And indeed, the evidence later proved him to be a liar, forcing him to assert his Fifth Amendment privilege to avoid self-incrimination. If something sounds implausible, investigate further—

no matter how convincing the person is.

C L U E 37

Tricky Dicky

There is also such a thing as a lie through implication instead of expression. During the 1960

presidential campaign, Richard Nixon sought to remind Americans that his opponent John F.

Kennedy was Catholic, not Protestant. We had never had a Catholic president before, and Nixon thought the fact that Kennedy was Catholic might make the American people uneasy. Blatantly reminding the public of his opponent's religion would make him look bad. So, in keeping with his reputation and according to the wisdom of politics, Nixon said the following: "I don't want anyone not to vote for John Kennedy because he is a Catholic."

The intent was obviously different from the message, but he got his point across nicely.

Although as history later proved, his effort was futile.

Whenever someone makes a point of telling you what they're
not
doing, you can be sure it's exactly what they
are
doing. The preamble is what they really mean. After a blind date, Jim was informed by the woman he went out with that she's very busy for the next few weeks but that she doesn't want him to think she's blowing him off. If that was not her intention, then it wouldn't have occurred to her to say that.

When you hear, "Not to hurt your feelings, but. . ."

you can be sure that this person doesn't mind hurting your feelings.

Another clever way of lying through implying comes in the form of a denial. It works like this.

Let's say that an agent is attempting to convince a casting director to cast his client, John Jones, instead of another actor, Sam Smith. The agent casually mentions to the casting director that Sam was at the Betty Ford Clinic last month, but heard it was only to see a friend. Now the casting director wonders if Sam has an alcohol or drug problem. Had the agent simply said that Sam was there to get treatment, the casting director would have been suspicious of his intentions in mentioning it. By stating it in the form of a denial, he implants the suggestion without suspicion.

Let's look at another example. You hear, "He's having marital problems, but it has nothing to do with his wife's new job." What's the first thing you ask? "What does his wife do?" Suddenly you're in the exact conversation that is "supposed" to have no bearing on the facts. Clever, isn't it? Don't be misled.

C L U E 38

Don't Be Ridiculous

Beware of the person who uses humour and sarcasm to defuse your concerns. For instance, you ask one of your salespeople if she met with the competition and she replies, "Sure did. We meet every day in a secret warehouse. You can get in only if you know the special knock. It's there where we discuss the eventual downfall of your business empire." This makes you feel foolish about inquiring further. And she knows it. When you ask a serious question, you should expect a direct response.

C L U E 39

We're Out of Stock

Have you ever had the salesman tell you that the item you were looking for is inferior to another one? And as it turns out, the one that you want happens to be out of stock.

Clearly, he would have been much more believable if he had said he did have what you wanted but preferred to show you something even better. So before you accept someone at his word that he has something better to offer, first see whether he has what you originally asked for. If he doesn't, there's a better than even chance that you shouldn't believe him.

C L U E 40

The Number Zone

There's an old saying that goes, "If you always tell the truth, then you'll never have to remember anything."

When a liar speaks, in an attempt to appear fluid, he will often fall into the number zone. This is when all of the numbers he mentions are the same or multiples of one another. This happens because he is thinking fast and is trying to remember what he's saying. A typical exchange during a job interview might go as follows:

Ms. SMITH: SO, Mark, how many years' experience do you

have in restaurant management?

MARK: At the three places I've worked, I've had about six years experience in total.

Ms. SMITH: Tell me a little bit about your experience at these

places.

MARK: Well, I would put in sixty-hour weeks. And I was in

charge of a crew of about twelve . . .

Watch out when facts, figures, and information have unusual similarities.

C L U E 41

Nervous Nellie

While we can control some gestures, the following are involuntary responses that we have little or no control over:

The fight-or-flight syndrome:
A person's face may become flushed or, with extreme fear, can turn white. Look for signs of rapid breathing and increased perspiration. Additionally, take note if he is trying to control his breathing to calm himself. This will appear as deep, audible inhaling and exhaling.

Trembling or shaking in voice and body:
His hands may tremble. If he is hiding his hands, it might be an attempt to hide uncontrollable shaking. His voice may crack and seem inconsistent.

This is hard to swallow:
Swallowing becomes difficult, so look for a hard swallow. Television or movie actors who wish to express fear or sadness often use this behaviour— hence the expression "all choked up." Also indicative is a clearing of the throat.

Due to anxiety, mucus forms in the throat. A public speaker who is nervous often clears his throat before speaking.

A choir boy, he's not!
Vocal chords, like all muscles, tighten when a person is stressed. This will produce a higher sound, octave, and/or pitch.

I'm sorry, you said what?
When we're under stress, our ability to focus on something is often diminished. Have you ever met someone at a party and forgotten his name right after you're introduced?

Look for signs of distraction and an inability to pay attention to what's going on.

The whistler:
Whistling seems to be a universal action to relax oneself when one is frightened or anxious, and is an unconscious attempt to build up courage or confidence. Most people have little
tells-

—gestures used when they are nervous. They may rub an ear for reassurance or plaster on a fake smile to boost their confidence.

C L U E 42

Oh So Clever

The ancient sport of Judo has a fundamental philosophy: do not confront force with force; instead use your opponent's strength and turn it against him.

The purveyors of this clue never get defensive or argue, they simply use your own words to support their claim.

Let's say that a guard is standing watch over a restricted area. It's his job to check ID s of those who enter. "I'm not sure you have, authorization," he says to a man attempting

access. "I'm not surprised," answered the man, "only a few people are aware of my clearance level. My work here is not supposed to be known by everyone."

Do you see how quickly the man verbally

disarmed the guard? Had he started to argue and insist that he had clearance and that the guard was a fool for not knowing, he would have met with a wall of resistance. Rather, he agrees with the guard, and explains that the reason why the guard thought he didn't have authorization is the very reason why he
does
have authorization.

A certain bagel company overcame an obvious marketing problem by using this same practice. The company sells frozen bagels, yet it wanted to project an image of freshness, a characteristic that to most of us is the opposite of frozen. Their solution? The slogan "They taste best because they're frozen."