Never Enough (21 page)

“Please give me another chance. I still love you more than anything. We can still get married.”

I interrupted quickly and responded, “No we can’t. In case you didn’t notice, I threw your damn ring and bracelet at you. I don’t want them. I don’t want anything that reminds me of you.”

I stood there trying to process everything. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. This was some fucked up joke. I leaned in until I was inches from his face and whispered, “How long Trevor. And don’t lie to me.”

He couldn’t look me in my eyes. My eyes grew wide and I stepped back when I realized he wasn’t answering me right away. My heart began pounding and I felt as if I were about to have a panic attack. No, I can’t let him see me break down. He can’t see that. I steadied myself and stood there waiting. He looked everywhere but at me.

“Look at me Trevor. How long? Did you sleep with her? Huh? Did you fuck her?”

He continued looking everywhere but at me. Why wasn’t he looking at me? I asked him a simple question that required nothing more than a yes or no. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally looked me dead in the eyes and I swallowed waiting for the answer that would most likely change everything. His face turned white as if he’d seen a ghost. Suddenly I didn’t know if I wanted to hear this or not. Trevor continued to look at me and his truth came out, “Macy, I didn’t mean to.”

I took two steps back and held my chest.
I was terrified a panic attack was coming. I couldn’t break down in front of him. He continued with his confession, “She came onto me. I didn’t know what to do. You wouldn’t talk to me. You just cried in your room. I felt I was never going to be enough for you.” A tear fell from his eyes, he didn’t deserve to cry.

He went to continue but I cut him off. I could no longer stay strong. The tears began to fall and sobbing I replied, “So you left me to be with that?” I pointed back towards The Lounge knowing full and well Taylor was already gone from the bloody nose I gave her.

“It was just a kiss and I was drinking. I took her home I’m so sorry I fucked up.” His eyes were full of sincerity but I didn’t give a shit. How could I? I caught him kissing her. Thank god I didn’t catch him doing god knows what else because I really would have lost it.

“How long has this been going on Trevor?”

He lowered his eyes and hung his head in shame; his hands had fistfuls of his hair in them. I already knew this wasn’t going to be good. “A week in a half.”

I got ready to bite his head off when Taylor’s voice filled my ears. “Don’t let him lie to you. A week and a half?” She snorted. “More like three weeks. At least you know I won’t lie to you.”

It felt like he had literally slapped me in my face. I wanted to slap him again and punch her face in or do much worse things to both of them but instead I choked out a sob and responded, “How could you? Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out?” I couldn’t say anything else; there was nothing else to say.

He just stood
there crying in the parking lot while Taylor just stood there looking smug. I thought I hated her before, no I really hated her now. I didn’t feel sorry for him at all. He tried to touch my arm one more time and I jerked away from him. “Don’t touch me Trevor, I swear to God, I’ll knock your damn teeth out!”

He opened his mouth to speak but before he could I got in the car
, shut the door and left. Halley didn’t say anything to me on the way home. She let me be upset which is good because I didn’t want to accidentally snap at her. We rode in silence and both went into our separate rooms once we got into the apartment. I got a text from Halley telling me she loved me. I responded with nothing more than I love you too. Trevor also sent a text but I deleted it. I had nothing else to say to him. I lay in my bed hugging my tiger and I cried. How did this happen? He was supposed to be there for me, it was his baby we lost too. Instead he threw everything we had away.

I stared at my ceiling when the tears finally stopped.
I don’t think I’ve cried this much since I was 19. I loved Trevor. I loved him so much, but now I hated him so much. This hurt was something that was even more unbearable than all my nightmares when I was 19. I grabbed my phone prepared to turn it off when it rang. No one needed to talk to me. Halley was in the next room and she would just barge in if she needed anything. Shit. I forgot about Gary. I wanted nothing more than to turn it off and just disappear for the rest of the night but I also knew if I didn’t answer he would drive over here. I groaned because I was not ready to see him face to face just yet.

“Hello?”

“Macy, we need to talk.” He sounded very serious. It wasn’t a side I saw from him often. Obviously he was mad and I was very glad we were having this talk over the phone and not in person.

Before he could continue with anything else he had to say I replied,
“I know Uncle Gary. I’m so sorry for causing a scene. I won’t be there anymore.” It was the truth. I wouldn’t be. I had no reason to be there anymore. I’ve always said I wouldn’t let Trevor not play there. I could at least hold my end of the deal up. There were plenty of things to do in this town that didn’t involve seeing him. I would just have to make a list of those later.

“You need to be glad she’s not going to press charges on you for what you did to her. You should thank her.”

He had to be freaking kidding me. I couldn’t hold back my laughter at all. I tried and failed miserably. “Thank her? For what? Ruining my life and taking from me the one thing I loved? Thank her for being a whore?”

“Macy, that’s enough. I love you but I’m not listening to this. That is your business and you will not handle it inside my bar. Not after everything I’ve done for you.”

“Fine. I said I was sorry.”

Even my own uncle seemed to be betraying me and taking Trevor’s side. This was unreal.
What happened to him hunting him down if he hurt me? I knew from the moment that first kiss happened this was all a mistake but I let myself fall for him anyway. Why did I have to be so stupid? He introduced the game to me and like a fool I played along and in the end, it was me who got game over. I was left with all the sorrow and heartache. No one but me got to pick up the pieces and try to put them back together again so that I might be ok again. Good thing I learned how to become strong years ago. Gary said bye then we hung up. I turned the phone off this time and turned to stare at the empty wall until I fell asleep.

Chapter 16

“Rise and shine Macy!”

What the hell? Halley was a little too chipper for me this morning. I knew she meant well. She sat on my bed and I let out a loud groan. I tried to throw the comforter back over my head but she grabbed it from me and pulled it back.

“Ugh, I don’t want to wake up.”

She flashed a big smile and replied, “Sure you do! Get up and spend time with me.
And go wash your face, you have eye makeup all over.”

I rolled my eyes and looked at her. She had to be joking. Marcus must not be here that’s the only reason I could come up with for why she was in here
and why the hell was she judging me for the mess on my face. No one was there to see it anyway and I’m pretty sure she would live. “I’m spending time with you right now, in my bed.”

She never once asked me about last night and the conversation with Trevor outside the car. I wasn’t sure if she heard anything but even if she did she still wasn’t asking
and I’m sure she did with the way that conversation went. I looked at her and told her, “He’s been sleeping with her for a week and a half. Wait no scratch that, Taylor informed me three weeks. He tried to tell me how sorry he was and that he fucked up. He didn’t know what to do he said. Gary called and said the bitch isn’t pressing charges on me for what I did and I told him I won’t be going there anymore.”

“Macy I am so sorry.
I saw her walking up and I almost got out but you asked me stay inside and I didn’t want to upset you more.” I knew she was. I could see it in her eyes. I also know if I had looked at her she would have jumped out that car last night, but there didn’t need to be a bigger scene than we already had. Our luck someone would have called the cops on us. I definitely didn’t need a mug shot on the news. She placed her hand on my arm for comfort. I was really glad my best friend was here right now even if she had woken me up. “I don’t see how Marcus or I didn’t see this or know any of this was going on. We just assumed he needed time because of well you know. I heard you slapped him in the face before I walked up, is that true?” Her eyes were wide trying to process the information that I basically just threw at her.

I let out a small chuckle and replied, “Yes I did. He deserved more than that. He’s lucky that’s all I did.” She began laughing too. I loved her for easing the tension from the conversation. This was no easy matter to talk about.
Never in my life did I ever think that my mom’s husband would rape me when I was 19 and that my fiancée would cheat on me a week and a half, no wait I have to remember it was three weeks after I lost our baby. Wait, I was still pregnant when it started. What a wonderful life this was panning out to be. A whole mountain of lies and more lies.

“Did you want to hang out today and do something? Anything?”
She glanced at me with hope in her eyes but she pretty much knew what my answer was before I ever spoke it. At this point she could read me blindfolded.

As much as I appreciated the offer and trust me I did, I wanted nothing more than to just sit here in my room and stare at the walls. I didn’t want to look at anyone or talk to anyone. I wanted a big bottle of liquor and a glass. No, scratch that, I didn’t need the glass I would just drink out of the bottle.
That would save time pouring. Who needs to pour it anyway?

I offered
Halley a weak smile, “No thanks. I know you mean well but I just, I don’t want to do anything. I just, I feel lost. Even though I heard everything come out of his mouth and hers, I just don’t want to believe it’s real. I love him, but there’s no way in hell I would ever let him know that. I can’t be weak.”

“I know you do Mace, maybe it was just really nothing more than a poor lapse of judgement…”

“Don’t make excuses for him Halley. Yeah it was a poor lapse of judgment but I refuse to be that girl.” I didn’t want to be that girl who falls for the poor sappy crap excuse and forgives the guy just to have him turn around and do it again and if I’ve learned anything from Taylor, it was that she is very persistent and she does get what she wants no matter who she has to hurt to get it.

“I’m not making excuses I’m sorry.”

“I’m done. I will move on from this no matter what it takes. He was able to move on quickly. Why can’t I?”

This was one of those time I wish there was a manual in front of me. Something to tell me how to deal with this.
I knew I needed to figure this out for my own though and it was very much possible. I’d survived enough on my own already.

“You can move on. I know you can. You are one of the strongest women I know.” I gave her a hug hoping we could move on from this conversation. I’d had enough Trevor talk for now.

“You know what? I’m going to a new bar tonight. I don’t know where I just know it’s not The Lounge.” Halley began pouting. Really? “Don’t give me that look Hales. I can’t go back there, you know that. I can’t see him anymore especially not a day after.”

“I know. It’s just I feel like I have to choose between you and Marcus
and honestly I don’t like that.”

“No Hales, don’t feel that way. I completely understand. He’s your boyfriend. I’m fine I swear.
I’m not shedding anymore tears over this. I’m a new woman.”

She
laughed at me and hugged me. “This is why I love you! So has Trevor tried to contact you since last night?”

I glared at her for even asking but I answered, “He tried to text not long after we got home but I didn’t answer.
Matter of fact, I deleted it and I turned the phone off after I talked to Gary. I have nothing to say to him.”

She looked at me searching my eyes for some sort of answer and I nodded knowing what she was trying to ask.
Halley grabbed my phone and did what I couldn’t do, she turned it on. My phone sprang to life and suddenly began going off like crazy. Text tones and vibrations filled where we showed nothing but silence. Wow, this was absolutely insane. Her eyes bugged out of her head as she watched my screen. “What Hales?”

“He’s been blowing up your phone Mace.”

“Yeah? Who cares?” Deep down I wanted to know what each and every message said but I hesitated. Reading those would do nothing but open me back up to being hurt again by him. I refused to let that happen again. “Read them if you want.”

Halley began flipping through texts, tears filling her eyes with every one she read.

“Macy please call me.”

“Macy are you there?”

“I know I fucked up I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t lose you, please talk to me.”

“I know you’re mad.” With each text she read tears stung my eyes. I kept asking myself over and over again why he did what he did.

“I think about you and our baby every day. I know I let you down and I don’t deserve you anymore but I fucking love you so much Macy. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” That text made the tears fall. I couldn’t hold them back. Halley set the phone down and offered to hug me. I refused her hug. I wasn’t in the mood right now. I needed to be alone. She understood and walked out.