Never Say Never (24 page)

Jamal ran after the ball, then dribbled it back to me. “That call. That was my mother. She lives in Jamaica and we don't talk much.”

“Really? You've never mentioned your mother.”

He shrugged. “We were never close,” he said, bouncing the ball between his legs. “I was raised by my father's mother, though I didn't know my dad all that well either. Drugs, prison, you know the story.”

No, I didn't know the story, but I didn't say anything.

He explained, at least part of it. “My mother was on summer vacation, visiting relatives, when she met my father. She was only sixteen, got pregnant, stayed here long enough to have me, then gave me to my dad before she returned to Jamaica.”

“Wow.”

He shrugged. “My dad gave me to his mom, and that was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Told by anyone else, this would have sounded like a tragic story of a child not wanted. But coming from Jamal, it almost sounded like a fairy tale.

“So, there are two things you should know,” he said, before he took a shot and missed. “My grandmother was wonderful, and I don't have a girlfriend.”

“Well, for that, you get three free throws.”

He laughed as he twirled the ball in his hands. “Now that we've verified that we're both free agents—”

“I just thought you had a girlfriend because it's hard for me to believe you're not seeing anyone.”

“That's what I say about you.”

“But you're . . . hot. Can I just say that?”

He smiled. “And that's what I say about you.”

“And you're smart,” I added.

“So are you.”

“And you know a little about everything.”

“That's what I say about you.”

“Okay,” I said, taking the ball from his hands. “I guess that's your way of saying you don't want to talk about it.”

“I am talking about it. I'm telling you the truth.”

I asked, “So, why aren't you in a relationship?”

He shrugged, then changed the subject. “You wanna go for a walk? We can go right down there”—he pointed—“sit on those rocks and watch the sun set.”

“Sure.” I guessed he felt his relationship status was none of my business, and I had to respect that.

Jamal tossed the ball back onto the court, leaving it where we
found it. When we stepped on the sand, I kicked off my tennis shoes and socks, then let my toes sink into the beach. I moaned with pleasure.

As we walked, I soaked in all the music of paradise, the soft crash of the evening surf, the chatter of other guests, and the laughter of children. There was nothing but happiness in this place, and I inhaled.

At the rocks, Jamal held my hand as we climbed to the highest point, then we sat side by side in our front-row seats, enjoying the show as the sun slowly descended. Neither one of us said a word as the horizon brightened into a multitude of oranges. Every hue of orange that God had ever made fused together in the sky, and a few times, I had to remind myself to breathe.

It became all the more wonderful when Jamal took my hand. I didn't read too much into that, though. Certainly, the majesty of the moment made him want to connect with someone, anyone.

But then he took his hand away and with the tips of his fingers he turned my head toward his.

He hesitated for just a moment. “So, you're not involved with anyone?” His voice was thick, but at least he could speak. All I could do was shake my head.

He said, “And I'm not involved with anyone, okay?”

This time, I nodded.

Jamal leaned in and let his lips touch mine. Tentatively, at first. But then he pressed against me as if he'd always belonged there.

His kiss was so soft, so gentle, yet it reached down into my soul. It was the kiss I'd been waiting for. And now that his lips had met mine, the wait had been so worth it.

When he finally leaned back, our eyes connected and stayed that way, as if we couldn't break away. Then, together, we smiled in sync, maybe even already in love.

The sun was gone, the day had ended, and this was our beginning . . .

Just a few
seconds had passed, maybe a minute. But as I grinned at my husband lying next me to me in bed, I knew he remembered every moment of that first day in Maui, just as I had.

“So, do you think it's a good idea?” I asked him.

“To go to Maui again with you? Are you kidding?” He kissed my forehead. “I wish we could go tomorrow.”

“I wish that, too,” I said, knowing for sure that my idea to get him away would help him with his grief. “Let's start making plans. I'll be ready to go in a couple of weeks.”

“I'll get right on it,” he said before he kissed me again.

Rolling away from him, I stopped right before I stood up. “Oh, I almost forgot. Miriam called last night.”

He blinked. “Is she okay?”

“Yes. She was calling about Junior.” I told him what Miriam had told me when she called, about Junior's basketball tryouts and how she wanted Jamal to be there with his godson. Jamal's eyes got even brighter than when we were talking about Maui. It was as if Miriam's call gave him a purpose. If he could be there for Junior, he wouldn't have to think about missing Chauncey.

“I would love to do that,” Jamal said, sitting up. “I'm surprised she didn't ask Charlie.”

“I didn't ask her about him, but I'm not surprised. She really wanted you.”

He frowned.

“I mean, you're Junior's godfather.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. I knew that's what you meant.”

“So, basketball with Junior today and Maui with me in a few weeks. Your life is grand,” I kidded, and then kissed his cheek. But before I could get up, Jamal wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me back. He pressed himself against me and I could feel the heat of his hard desire.

As much as I wanted this man, I couldn't. “Ah, babe. I've got to get to Children's Hospital for LaTonya and I'm already late.”

He rolled away from me.

“I'm sorry,” I said.

“No, no, I understand.”

I knew he was telling the truth; Jamal always understood. But still, this didn't feel good to me, so I knew it didn't feel good to him. We hadn't made love in two weeks.

I shifted in the bed until I was on top of him. “I promise, I promise, I will do my best to get home at a decent hour and even if you're asleep, I'm gonna wake you up and rock your world.”

He smiled.

“Did I say, I promise?”

Now he laughed and I kissed him again before I jumped from the bed. I had a long day ahead, but I was looking forward to it. I would be focused on LaTonya during the day, but tonight my mind, my body, and my soul would belong to the man I loved.

23

Miriam

I
cannot figure out how I let you talk me into this,” Mama Cee fussed from the passenger side of the car. “Getting my hair done twice in a week.”

I didn't turn to the left, I didn't turn to the right. I kept my eyes on the road, knowing that if I looked at my mother-in-law she might see the truth. She might see all the lies that I'd told. “It's not twice in a week, Mama Cee. You got your hair done
last
week.”

“Well, whenever, I don't need to be going back so soon.”

“This is a good idea,” I said, knowing that I had to keep persuading her. It had been hard enough to get her to this point.

Yesterday, when we returned home from brunch, I'd immediately set my plan into motion. Getting the kids out of the house—check, since they were going back to school. Getting Charlie out of the house—another check, since he was going to take the boys to school and hang around for Junior's tryouts.

The only person left was Mama Cee and she was going to be the most difficult. There was a good chance she would want to stay in her bedroom and rest. But I didn't want Mama Cee to overhear what I had to say to Jamal.

So I'd come up with this plan: send her to the beauty shop. That would keep her away from home for hours.

I'd called Leah, told her that this had to be her idea, and since we'd been friends for years, she went along with my plan. It had been easier with Mama Cee last night, but now that she'd slept on it, I was afraid she was going to change her mind.

“You're leaving tomorrow, Mama Cee, and who knows when you'll come back. At least now you'll be leaving with a good, deep condition.”

“Umph. I can put my own conditioner in. I don't need to be paying all of this money.”

“I promise, Mama Cee, you'll be happy you did this.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “I'm not going to be happy writing this extra check.”

“I told you I was paying for this.”

“I don't want you paying for me.”

“This is my treat.” I pushed my foot down a bit on the pedal. I needed to get to the shop quick!

“But you have to be careful with money now.”

“Mama Cee, Leah is hardly charging me anything,” I lied. I was paying her triple her normal price for slipping Mama Cee in on a Monday. “And I already told you I'm good. The boys and I are going to be good for a long time because your son took care of us.”

“That's because I raised him right. But that doesn't mean that I want you wasting that insurance money on me.”

I was glad that I was at a red light because now, even though I didn't want her looking into my eyes, I had to face her. “Mama Cee, nothing I do for you is a waste. After all you've done for me, I could never do enough for you.”

“All I've ever done is love you,” my mother-in-law said.

“You and Chauncey. When no one else did.”

“I don't care about anyone else. This is just me and you. And you never have to worry about doing anything for me, you hear?” Before I could respond, she added, “Wait! There is something I want from you.”

“Anything,” I said, as I took my foot off the brake and cruised down La Brea.

She let a couple of beats go by. “I want you to be happy. Even without Chauncey, I want you to find a way to be happy.”

This was why I loved this woman. All I wanted to do was take her back home and spend the next twenty-four hours before she left for Phoenix just loving on her. And I would do that—right after I took care of my business with Jamal.

“So, can you do that for me?”

“I'm trying, Mama Cee.” I edged the car to the curb in front of the hair salon. “Here we are.” I held my breath, knowing there was a fifty-fifty shot that Mama Cee would just tell me to turn around and take her home.

But then she gathered her cane and purse and I exhaled.

“Just call me when Leah's almost done.”

“All right, baby.” Mama Cee eased out, and I kept the car in park until she stepped through the door. She turned around to wave, and I waved back, before I tore out of there like I was being chased.

The first part of my mission was accomplished.

I should've felt better about this than I did, but it was hard to feel good when I'd lied to people I loved, people who trusted me.

Especially Emily.

But I'd only lied so that I could put everything back together. My friendship with Emily was broken. She didn't know it, but I had to fix this before she could ever find out.

Leah's shop was only ten minutes from my home. I swerved around cars, took chances zooming through changing lights, and
made that left turn onto my block in just a little over five minutes. I released a long breath when I saw that my driveway was clear. I hit the remote for the garage, drove inside, and parked the van next to Chauncey's car, then closed the garage door behind me. Grabbing my purse, I dashed inside and had just a couple of minutes to catch my breath before the doorbell rang.

I breathed deeply, then went to the door, opening it wearing a frown. “Oh, my goodness. Jamal!”

“Uh, yeah, you look like you weren't expecting me,” he said, taking tentative steps into my home. “Emily said you wanted me to take Junior to school, then go to his basketball tryouts with him.”

“Yes, I did, I called you, but I forgot to call you back and tell you that Charlie's plans changed and he went with Junior. I'm so sorry. I . . .” I paused when my voice started to tremble. “I'm really . . . really . . . really . . .” Before I could get another word of my lie out, I burst into tears.

“Miriam!” Jamal exclaimed. His face was creased with his concern. “What's wrong?”

“I'm sorry, but I can't do this, I can't—”

“What are you talking about?”

“I lied. I lied to everyone so that you would come over and I could talk to you.”

“About Junior?”

“No, Charlie went with him and I knew he was going to do that when I talked to Emily last night,” I sobbed. “I just wanted you to come over and I was afraid if I asked you, you would say no. 'Cause everything has changed and I don't want anything to change.”