Never Say Never (28 page)

He thought about how soft she’d be. He needed some softness now. He thought about how warm her body was. Warmth sounded mighty appealing to him. He thought about how Jill had kissed him back tonight. He remembered the swell of her breasts as he kissed them the other night. There was a shifting, a tightening, in his groin. Dustin groaned.

“Are you all right?” Jill asked anxiously. “You’re not sore any place?”

Actually, he was sore all over. But suddenly all the pain he’d endured this evening seemed centered between his legs. “I’m fine,” he said, trying not to think about it.

“You don’t sound fine.”

Jill’s sweetly concerned voice poured more heat on an already burning fire. “I am.”

Unfortunately, she turned her head up to look at him, causing her breast to brush against his arm. Dustin couldn’t take any more punishment, as innocent as it was.

“Jill,” he said on a husky whisper, matching his lips to hers. They fit, again and again, meeting and moving in a sensual rhythm. He had no business doing this; if he was a gentleman he would leave. But Jill’s hand crept tentatively to his T-shirt and then underneath. Any protest he might have been able to work up died instantly.

“If we’re going to stop, now is the time,” he warned her.

“Let’s not.” Her hand drifted to his midsection. Lord knows he didn’t want to try too hard to change her mind. Dustin pressed kisses along her nose, then along her chin before realizing he had a slight problem. “I don’t have any protection,” he told her, cursing the fact even as he knew this was because he’d never planned to make love to her, had studiously avoided making her feel like she’d been hired to perform that chore as well as everything else she did at the ranch.

“I’m on the Pill,” she said, her tone hesitant with the admission. “Um, since I was engaged, I thought it would be a good idea to…um, be prepared.”

The last thing he wanted to think about was that rather weak excuse for a fiancé of hers. He could almost smell the coconut mousse the guy had been wearing. Jealousy ripped through him with a thousand knife-edges of pain, but like a balm to the emotion torturing him, Jill’s voice came to him in the semidarkness.

“Um, I was more prepared, actually, than I needed to be, but I haven’t stopped taking them. They seemed to help with my cycle, and…” Jill trailed off.

He felt her tense beside him. “More prepared than you needed to be?”

Her hesitation was clear. “He didn’t um, want me…that way. So, I would very much appreciate it if you don’t stop now.”

He was confused. “Are you saying you never made love with your fiancé?”

“I’m saying that.”

“Because you think he didn’t want you?”

“Actually, it was a matter of fairly public knowledge that he preferred different pastures to mine.”

Dustin rolled over, pinning her gently underneath him. “I knew there was something wrong with that guy from the moment I laid eyes on him.” Reaching, he pushed her nightgown up, allowing his hand to slide along one long, silky leg.

She wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“
I
want you,” he said fiercely, his discovery launching him past any easy and gentle lovemaking he might have managed for her sake. Capturing a breast in one hand, he said, “I want you so bad I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“I hoped you’d want to make love to me,” she told him. “I’ve been wondering if that backside of yours is as wonderful naked as it looks in jeans.”

“You’ve been looking at my butt?” Dustin raised his head.

“Mm. It doesn’t scowl at me.”

He felt a small hand glide boldly along his buttocks. She was intent on conducting an exploration of her own. Still, he couldn’t let her remark pass.

“I thought you women liked silent, mysterious men.”

Jill pinched his rear. “The problem with you is you’re silent out of bed and talk too much in it. We need some reversal here.”

“Are you telling me to get on with the action?”

“Yes.”

He bent his head to fasten his lips around a nipple he’d freed. His thumb gently stroked the other breast, peaking it. Her moan let him know he was doing all the right stuff. He let a hand move up to stroke a smooth hip, then made a lingering exploration of the shape of her thigh. She was soft-skinned and delicately built, yet firm and muscled. No longer able to deny himself knowing her, Dustin slid his hand up her leg, finding the curls harboring her womanhood.

“Oh, Dustin,” she whispered. If this was heaven, she was glad she’d found it. The man was making her feel like the sexiest woman alive. He wanted her, though she sensed he was trying to go slowly with her. All that talking had served to let her know he didn’t want to rush her. Kneading his back to revel in the feel of his muscles and strength, she arched against him. “Don’t make me wait any longer,” she pleaded on a sigh.

That was all it took to break through his hesitation. He moved over her, and Jill gasped as they became one. It was wonderful, it was earth-shattering, and as she felt herself sharing the man-woman rhythm with him, Jill knew that Dustin was claiming a part of her soul that had never been touched before.

Jill awakened the next morning, feeling for the clock beside her bed. The spot beside her where Dustin had lain was cold, so he’d been gone a while. Squinting, she saw that it was six thirty, well past the time he would leave to check the cattle.

A vague, misty memory of her lips being kissed as she slept passed through her mind. Smiling, Jill hopped out of bed. Holly was starting to shift in the basket, a sure sign that she would soon want her breakfast. If she hurried, she still had time to grab a fast shower, which would give her the right set for the day.

Unable to resist a glance outside, Jill saw that snow blanketed the earth in a peaceful conclusion to the night’s events. The sight made her pulse slow. Maybe it was all over. Maybe this beautiful snowfall was a sign that the worst had passed, and from here on out, a bright new day was in store for them. The memory of Dustin’s hungry desire put a wistful smile on her face, and Jill closed her eyes for a second. Their loving might not have been the right thing to do, and they would both have to deal with the consequences later, but it had been the most wonderfully satisfying night of her life.

Yet surely it could never happen again. That went without saying. There was too much possibility of Joey discovering them if he wandered into Jill’s room at night. It would be disrespectful to Eunice for them to indulge in a continuing sexual relationship. Most of all, sneaking around to engage in illicit loving would cause a little of the glow she felt now to dissipate. What had happened last night was dizzyingly wonderful beyond belief, but it could never be repeated. It had been too perfect the way it was—but more than that, the cost could be too high for Dustin and his family, and she couldn’t allow that to happen.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jill caught sudden movement among the pecan trees. Startled, she peered harder, suddenly frightened again although she knew Curtis Lynch had to be in jail. Surely he couldn’t have gotten bailed out?

Then a soft smile bloomed on her face. Dustin was lying on his back in the snow with Joey, the two of them waving their arms up and down, their legs back and forth, as fast as they could. Jumping up, they examined their handiwork. A very small snow angel was left in the snow next to a rather impressively sized angel. Joey clapped his hands. Jill could see the smile on Dustin’s face clearly from her vantage point.

Maybe there had been a silver lining to the thunderous clouds that had hovered over them after all. A Christmas-blessed, gold and silver lining.

Dustin Reed had discovered his son.

Holly didn’t want to wait until Jill showered, apparently. The baby’s wail turned Jill from watching the loving moments between father and son. “Okay, okay. You first, then me,” she said good-naturedly. What could spoil such a wonderful day?

Throwing on her housecoat and hurrying downstairs with the baby, she swiftly warmed up a bottle, and was sitting feeding Holly when the front door blew open. The stamping of feet and “Brr—it’s cold!” traveled to her ears. A second later, Dustin stood in the kitchen, holding his son and staring down at her as she fed the baby.

Suddenly Jill felt shy. Her eyelashes lowered as she looked at Holly instead. Dustin loomed large and powerfully attractive over her, memories of last night’s wonderful touching swept her. She couldn’t think of the right thing to say.

“We…we been making snow angels, Jill.”

Joey’s sweet voice broke the discomfort and gave her something to focus on besides his sexy father. “I saw you, Joey. You made some beauties.” She forced her gaze to Dustin. “I feel guilty that I overslept.”

Dustin shook his head before looking at Joey. “You needed the rest. I was up and I heard Joey moving around in Mother’s room, so I went in and got him. He wanted to make snow angels, and after our ordeal last night, it sounded like a great idea.”

He had put off chores to take some time with his son. Clearly, Holly’s unexpected presence at the ranch had caused a ripple effect of good changes for both her and Dustin. “I would have been glad to come out and help you.”

“Thanks, but we needed to be on our own.” Joey’s and his father’s gazes met with smiles on both sides. “There’s just some things we men have to do together.”

“Yeah,” Joey agreed. “Can…can we have some hot chocolate now?”

Jill laughed, getting up to put on the kettle. Dustin seated Joey at the table.

“I’m going upstairs to change, then I need to get to work,” he told Jill; his gaze made a fast sweep of her, from her ankles to her face. Heat prickled her cheeks.

“That’s fine,” she said quickly. “I can take over from here.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything. Her heart pounded as hard as his boots on the stairs as he went up. For just a moment, she thought she’d seen desire burning in his gaze.

Quickly she brushed the thought away, though it warmed her faster than any hot chocolate could. Putting a cup down in front of Joey that was only partially filled, she said, “Give it one more minute to cool before you try to drink it, Joey. I don’t think it’s that hot, but be careful, just in case.”

“Jill, can I see you for a moment?”

Dustin’s deep voice, couched in a command, made her jump. In her attention to Joey’s cocoa, she hadn’t heard him come back down. She went into the hallway, noticing at once that he looked suddenly haggard. The relaxed happiness was gone from his face.

“Yes, Dustin?”

“I went in to check on Mother since she’s usually up by now and I figured we made enough noise when we came in to wake anybody. She doesn’t look good. She must have taken a bad turn in the night. I’m going to run her down to the emergency room.”

“What do you think is wrong?” The rosy glow from last night evaporated swiftly as she saw the worry etched on Dustin’s face.

“I don’t know. I knew she hadn’t been feeling well, but I thought it was her arthritis. It took me awhile to wake her, and then when she tried to get out of bed, she couldn’t.”

“Oh, no!” Sheer anxiety clenched her stomach. “All the drama last night must have taken its toll.”

“I don’t know, but I do think a doctor should see her, pronto. Can you hold down the fort?”

“Of course! Go
on
,” she told him. “We’ll be fine.”

He turned and went upstairs. Jill waited in the doorway until he reappeared, lifting his mother and carrying her down the stairs. Independent Eunice didn’t even offer a slight protest. Jill’s insides chilled as she hurried to open the front door. The woman she’d always thought of as so strong had a distinctly pale color to her skin. She watched as Dustin carefully put his mother into the truck and tucked a blanket around her. He drove away and Jill went inside, closing the front door with a sinking feeling in her heart.

Christmas is for believing
, Eunice had told her. Jill went into the kitchen to fill a bowl with cereal for Joey, repeating the mantra to herself. If there was ever a time to believe in the miracle of the season, it was now.

Chapter Seventeen

Jill took Joey’s wet clothes off in the laundry room. Some pajamas she’d folded were lying on the dryer and Jill snatched them up, deciding it wouldn’t hurt if he ate breakfast in his Bugs Bunny jammies just this once. Not taking him upstairs to dress now would mean she could sit at the table with him and finish feeding Holly while he ate. That way she could be with both of them at the same time.

Joey seemed to have forgotten last night’s troubles as she swiftly dressed him, then led him back to the table.

“Can…can we watch cartoons?”

“I don’t see why not.” Jill flipped on the TV and settled on the plank seat with Holly. Joey dug into his cereal, completely unconcerned. She sighed with relief. Truthfully, she’d worried how he would act when he found his father had left. But he didn’t say a word, and she realized that Dustin was usually gone by daybreak so the routine was simply familiar to Joey. He didn’t ask what was wrong with his grandmother, either. Jill thought that since she’d been hovering in the doorway, she’d blocked his view of his father practically carrying Eunice out the door. Jill thought the best thing to do about that was wait until Joey did have questions. With any luck, Dustin and his mother might return before Joey even noticed her absence. After all, whatever was plaguing her could be something relatively simple.