Never Say Never (The Price of Fame Series) (20 page)

When the car stopped outside her house, Sander leaned across and brushed a soft kiss against her temple. Her heart stuttered and the smell of their sweat and sex oozing from his skin made heat burn between her thighs. But it was over far too soon.

“I’ll call you about your things,” he said.

Chloe’s hand froze on the door handle. She wanted him to call her because he wanted to, not because he had to return her makeup and clothes. Still, with her emotions running high, she only nodded. When she stepped out of the car and saw her house in darkness, she waited on the pavement until his car sped away and panic clawed up her throat.

Relax
, she tried to tell herself as dread ate away at her stomach.
It’s not over, not yet.

But she wasn’t so sure about that.

* * * *

To her horror, Chloe realized the next morning when Sander’s driver dropped off her things that she had been completely wrong. With her mum in the kitchen making lunch, she couldn’t run up the stairs, throw herself into bed, and let out all her anguish by crying for days. She had to keep strong, even if it felt like she was dying inside.

Instead, she went back to the living room and sat on the couch, pulling her pajama covered legs tight to her chest as she stared blankly at the daytime soap on the television. She thought she had him all worked out. Thought that once he got used to the idea of his feelings, he would come around. But Dane was right. She was still naïve, stupidly so.

Lifting her phone from the arm of the couch, she opened a new text and almost typed Sander’s number in the recipient field, but chickened out. Instead she added Rachel’s.

I fell in love with him, and we broke up.

She hit
send
and waited for the reply. The text was pathetic, but that’s exactly how she felt. Her phone chimed a minute later.

I’m on my way over.

After wiping her face of all the grief, she went to the kitchen and had lunch with her mum. Joyce looked fine today, and Chloe wished it could be that way always, but as she’d learned in the last few years, life wasn’t fair. She had to play the hand she’d been dealt.

She’d folded with Dane, and she would never do that again. Life was too short, and things were looking up. She tried to focus on the positive. Studio Four wanted her to start on Monday. She would be able to re-hire Freda and make sure her mum was looked after while she was at work. Maybe in time, when she had enough money, she could redecorate. Her mum would like that. The wallpaper in the living room had been there for years.

“Is Sander coming over soon?” Joyce asked.

Chloe’s eyes burned. She dipped her head down and broke off a piece of her sandwich with her fingers. “I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to him today.”

Denial, that’s probably what it was. She kept on hoping he’d call, even now when he’d returned her things and didn’t have a reason to. But there was still the wedding…

Bugger, she really was naïve.

“I wanted to make Sunday dinner tomorrow. I thought you might like to invite him.”

Pulling her face into a smile, she met Joyce’s questioning gaze. “I’ll ask him.”

She hated lying to her mum, but chances were she’d forget all about Sunday dinner and Chloe wouldn’t have to contact him at all. A knock at the door sounded and her heart leapt into her throat, but the door opened straight away and she remembered Rachel was coming. Her friend and Mrs. Young were the only two who would walk in.

“Hi, Mrs. B,” Rachel said when she reached the kitchen.

Her mum rose from her chair and took her dirty plate to the sink. “Can I make you lunch, dear?”

Rachel shook her head, and Joyce looked between the two of them. Chloe couldn’t hold her mum’s questioning gaze.

“I’ll be in the living room if you two need anything.”

“Thanks, Mrs. B.” Rachel kept an easy grin on her face until her mum closed the kitchen door behind her. “Chloe, I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

Chloe swiped at her eyes when the first of her pent-up tears fell. She told Rachel everything. Sipping tea Rachel had brought her at some point, she didn’t even feel relief at the confession like she’d imagined she would.

“Honey, I know you think you’re being naïve, but I think you’re right.” Rachel’s gaze was full of sorrow, but not half of what Chloe felt.

She shook her head.

“You didn’t see him today. He was at the coffee shop this morning and looked like a train wreck. Dark circles, messy hair, and every time the door opened his eyes lit up until he saw it was just another customer.”

The words were hard to hear, but why would he be there? He knew she wasn’t working today. Then again he more than likely thought she would need a friend after last night and Rachel was working. Hope sparked, but she fought it back.

“He was probably waiting for someone else,” she muttered and sipped at her tea.

“Maybe,” Rachel allowed. “But I’ve never seen a customer nurse two coffees for an hour and a half and look so cut up to leave at the end of it.”

God, his pain sliced through her heart harder than her own did. “What can I do, Rach?”

Short of dropping down to her knees and begging him to get over whatever kept his emotions in check, there wasn’t anything she could do.

Rachel stared her straight in the eyes. “You can stop moping, clean yourself up, and get over to his place. He cares about you—most likely loves you—and you love him. You have to make him see that you two can work it out. You have to make him trust that you won’t screw him over like that slut of an ex.”

Chloe’s stomach dropped. She knew Rachel was right. If she didn’t try, really try to make things right, she’d regret it forever. But could she put her heart on the line for him to break it all over again?

Gathering all her strength together, she rose from the chair. “Can you stay with my mum until I get back?”

Rachel smiled. “Of course. You go get your man!”

* * * *

Sander dragged a hand over his face and tried to focus on the words on the notepad in front of him. After spending far too long at the coffee shop in the hope of getting a glimpse of Chloe, he’d gone home and attempted to get back into writing songs. But he had no inspiration, only an excruciating ache he didn’t want to analyze, to put into words.

He picked up the half-empty bottle of beer next to him and downed it, but he knew this pain wouldn’t be doused by alcohol. The first time he’d spilled his guts to a woman since Sienna, and Chloe had asked to go home. The pain of Chloe, the first woman he’d ever loved, rejecting him would probably never leave. Still, served him right for letting himself feel.

He got that it was his fault. He’d told her things wouldn’t change, that he only wanted that night when it was the biggest fucking lie of his life. If she’d seen through the bullshit, if she knew him at all, she’d have called him on it. Unless what he told her changed her mind about wanting him. What the fuck use was he when he couldn’t even father a child?

He resisted the urge to throw the empty bottle across the study and watch it smash against the dark wall. After all, cleaning the mess would be left to him and his mood was shitty enough. He rose and made his way through to the kitchen in search of something stronger. Pulling out a bottle of whiskey, he filled a small tumbler and knocked it back in a burning gulp. His eyes watered, a warm glow started in his stomach and spread through his body. A couple more might take the ache away, but he doubted it.

As he filled another glass, he heard the buzzer by the front door. Irritated that someone was interrupting his quest to get so hammered he couldn’t remember his name, he stalked to the door. Stabbing the button on the black panel, he asked, “What is it?”

A long pause, then, “It’s me. Can I come up?”

Every muscle in his body tensed, but his heart took off like it was on a mission to burst out of his chest. She was there, and he was too stunned to speak.

“I don’t really want to say this over the intercom, but I will if I have to.”

He smiled, despite the ache. Chloe was in a demanding mood tonight, and the thought made his dick twitch, though it didn’t stop apprehension from freezing his tongue.

He cleared his throat, but couldn’t think of anything to say. Instead he buzzed her in. Unlocking his front door, he opened it wide and watched her walk slowly up the stairs, that polite smile on her face. Dark circles were prominent under her eyes and he felt like a jerk knowing he’d probably been the reason for them.

His mind couldn’t comprehend why she’d be there. Last night she couldn’t get away from him quick enough, and he knew it was best for them both that she left. Sienna hadn’t broken him with her betrayal. She’d set them both free. But if the same thing happened with Chloe, he knew he’d go down for life after murdering the bastard who dared touch her.

“Can I come in?” she asked when she reached the door.

Sander stepped aside, and after hesitating for a second, she walked past him.

Pausing at the sofa, she turned back to him with a small smile. “Can we talk in the kitchen? This couch is…distracting.”

Heat arrowed to his groin as he remembered her pale skin contrasting with the red dress and black leather. He sucked in a breath, then gestured with his hand toward the kitchen. The fact he hadn’t spoken yet made him feel foolish, but he didn’t want to do anything to risk her leaving. He was too curious about why she was there.

Lowering herself onto a chair in the kitchen, she half-smiled at him. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

He sat on the chair across from her and his gaze flickered to the glass full of whiskey he’d left on the counter. Fuck, he could use some Dutch courage about now.

“You took me by surprise,” he told her.

Chewing the inside of her mouth, she studied him with doubt shining from her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she rubbed her temples. “Look, I’m just going to put my cards on the table.”

She closed her eyes and paused so long that he wondered whether hoping was a colossal mistake.

“I love you.” She blew out a long breath and her agonized gaze met his.

“Chloe…” His voice cracked as elation made it hard to breathe, but it was quickly crushed.

Love wasn’t enough. Sienna had loved him, and look how that had ended. He loved Chloe too fucking much to come home and find her in his bed with someone else. Before he could stop it, a vision of her and Dane lodged in his mind and his body temperature rose to scorching.

“It doesn’t change anything.”

Chloe swallowed and her eyes flooded with moisture. He raked a shaky hand through his hair. After a second, he rose and walked toward the counter. Bringing the glass to his lips, he downed the whiskey in one swallow. Fuck, the burn in his throat didn’t even touch the ache in his chest.

He poured another shot, this time a triple.

“I don’t believe you,” she whispered.

Rubbing his knuckles over his eyes, he wished like hell he knew why she didn’t just walk away again. He was past his breaking point, truly fucked by the thought of never seeing her again—it was for the best. She deserved more. But still, she pushed.

Sander couldn’t keep this shit up any longer. He had to tell her the truth, because lying to her would hurt her and he promised he’d never do that. He may not be able to give her everything she deserved, but he could give her honesty.

“I love you too.” He closed his eyes briefly. “But it’s not enough. You’re young, and you might not want kids now, but that will change. I can’t…I don’t want to start something that won’t last. I don’t want you to settle for half the man you deserve.”

She turned to him and her eyes flashed gold fire. “Isn’t that up to me? Can’t I make my own decisions?”

“Yes.” Hope swelled in his heart, but he beat it back. He had to make sure he was who she really wanted. “You shouldn’t pick me.”

It was the best he could do. He’d pushed her away so much that his resolve was at an all-time low. His whole being ached to give up fighting, to drag her into her arms and beg her to stay, but that wouldn’t be fair to her. He returned to his seat and nursed the glass of whiskey in his left hand.

“Listen to me, Sander Chase.” She reached across the table and snared his free hand, squeezing tightly. “I didn’t want to fall for a celebrity after Dane. I thought you were all the same, but I was wrong. You’re everything to me. Not only have you helped with my mum, but you helped me get over what Dane did.”

His heart swelled again and he looked down at their joined hands, his eyes filling with moisture.

“I want to be with you, just you, forever. I don’t care if we can’t have our own children. If the day comes that we want to start a family, we can adopt. There are thousands of children in this country alone without anyone to love them, and we could give them a home.” Her voice was certain, determined, and his heart leapt into his throat. “But it’s not just me, Sander. I can’t let my mum go into care. We’re a package deal, and I’ll understand if you want to end this now.” Her voice broke twice on the last sentence.

Without thinking, he rose from the chair and rounded the table. He crouched down so his gaze was level with hers and let her see every ounce of his honesty.

This was it. He couldn’t run anymore. Couldn’t push her away, no matter what.

“I wouldn’t take you any other way.” He tucked her hair behind her ears and cupped her face in his hands, looking straight into her shiny eyes. “I got out of the contract, so I don’t have to go on tour with the band, but there’s still
Do You Have What It Takes?
After, when I get back from that tour, we can look for a house big enough for the three of us if that’s what you want.”

Because it’s all he wanted. A family to love, someone to love him back, and Chloe and Joyce were the family he wanted. He believed her when she talked about adoption. And hope swelled so strong, he wanted to believe they could make this work. For better or for worse.

“Do you mean that?”

Her tears soaked his thumbs and he brushed them away. “Yes. Do you mean what you said?”

Chloe nodded. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, kissing her with reverence and love and everything new and exciting inside of him. When they broke away, gasping for air, she beamed at him, and all the worry, all the
what ifs
fell away until there was only the two of them, starting their lives together.