Never Too Late : A Romantic Story (4 page)

When the two had left, Amy stood behind the corner and watched Cale for a minute more. H
e
didn't move. Finally, she took a step, and then another. She walked out into the center o
f
the courtyard, but stayed far enough away from Cale at what she believed to be a reasonabl
e
distance. Cale looked up when he heard her footsteps, but didn't say anything. His eyes wer
e
red, but she didn't see any tear trails or signs of any crying or hysterics. He just looke
d
sad and frustrated and angry all at once. He looked hurt. She knew it was a stupid question
,
but she asked it anyway. "Are you okay?"

"No," Cale said. "I'm not."

Amy nodded. "I don't know if you want someone to be with you now, but if you need someone t
o
talk to or anything, I'm here."

Cale gave a bitter laugh. "I said the same thing to Tim," he said. "I told him I would b
e
there to talk with him and hang out with him if he needed me. Instead, I couldn't d
o
anything."

"Tim?"

"My friend. Best friend. After my mother died," he paused and looked up at her, "my mother'
s
dead by the way. Anyway, after she died, his family took me in. We went to the same school
,
went to the same high school too. Then he started doing drugs. I didn't want to get mixed i
n
with all that, but I still hung out with him. He went to rehab a few times, but it neve
r
stuck. I thought that maybe this time would be different. It wasn't. It was worse."

"He'd dead?"

"Overdose."

All this time, Amy had been getting a bit closer to him. There was another discarded chair
a
short distance from the one Cale sat in, so Amy picked it up and slid it closer to him. Sh
e
sat down next to him. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know that doesn't help, but I'm sorry." 

"Me too." Cale launched into a short rant about the times he and Tim had shared, about th
e
things they used to do together, and the best moments they had shared. It all stung Amy whe
n
she realized she had so few of those moments too. "Once," Cale said, "we went hiking togethe
r
up at this reservation outside the city. It was great. Just us and some friends, and nature
.
We got lost in the woods." He laughed. "Tim kept insisting we follow these blue markers o
n
the trees. They were supposed to lead us back to the parking lot, but all they did was get u
s
lost. When someone said they had cell reception, he told us to call, '911 or something!'" H
e
laughed some more, and Amy just smiled along. He sobered up. "That was one of the times afte
r
he left rehab, and we all thought he'd be good again. But three months later he was shootin
g
up."

With that, Cale broke down. He didn't sob, but he buried his head in his hands and shook jus
t
a little bit. Amy reached across the gap between them, and rested her hand on his back. I
t
seemed to sink into him almost, and she could feel just a bit of the tension within hi
m
loosen. She let him cry a bit, let him shake and curse and be miserable. She let him do al
l
those things for a little while, until it didn't seem like he could do it anymore. Then h
e
sighed, straightened himself in his chair, and stood.

"Alright," he said with a sense of finality. "Back to work.
” 

"Actually," Amy cut in, "the others said you could head home for the day. They'd take care o
f
everything and email you later."

He sighed and stretched his arms out. "I guess I should be appreciative, but this is one o
f
those things you want to ignore by throwing yourself into something, you know?"

"Yeah," she said. And she did too. She understood perfectly. Her whole reason for being a
t
Carrie Cares was so she could use it as a kind of jumping off point for her own life. Sh
e
wanted to improve, she wanted to get more out of life. She wasn't necessarily there for an
y
truly charitable motives. It was her own validation she sought. "Are you going to be okay?"

"No, I won't," he said. "But eventually I will."

"Do you want someone to stay with you?" The words were out of her before she even realize
d
what she was doing. She closed her mouth so Cale wouldn't see how shocked she was at herself.

He smiled at her, warmly. "Thanks, but I'll be okay. I'm glad you came to talk to me though
,
it helped." Then, looking almost embarrassed, he moved in close and hugged her. He put his arms around her and his hands laid across her back. He squeezed her just a bit, and Amy kne
w
his mouth was close to her ear, and his face was partially buried in her hair. She felt he
r
breath catch in her throat. "Thanks, Amy," he said again.

"Y-you're welcome," she said. He broke the hug and took a step away. He gave her a little no
d
and walked out of the courtyard. And so Amy remained alone, a bit shocked and shaken.

It was then that she realized she had feelings for him. It wasn't so much a revelation as a
n
expected confirmation of things she had fleetingly thought before. Cale was a good person. H
e
was handsome, honest, and seemed to genuinely care about his charity work, and - if hi
s
reaction to Tim's death was any indication - his friends.

She smiled a bit. Thoughts of Brad rose and were quickly squashed. Cale, she realized, wa
s
someone she wanted to spend time with. The sick feeling of hopelessness that had been like an old companion at that pointwas silent for a time. It was silent for the rest of the da
y
as well.

#

She broke things off with Brad. The guy yelled and screamed and then started to plead an
d
cry. Amy had found herself without sympathy. Brad was truly a pathetic individual, a waste o
f
space, a cockroach. He, in the end, was nothing. All she could feel during his little tirad
e
was a sense of shame that it had taken her this long to get the ball rolling on her own life.

Her position at work had improved too. She no longer worked part-time, but had had
a
discussion with the manager which had led to a full-time position. Technically, she stil
l
held the same exact job, but she got paid more, and didn't have to sweat her bills as much.

She still had to worry about them, but they didn't present the same kind of catatonic drea
d
they had once before.

Things at Carrie Cares continued well enough. The drives they organized operated well enough
.
People donated and Amy's group relished in the job well done. She even spent some time at the soup kitchens and community centers, doing her own part to help. Though she still sought ou
t
charity work as her own validation, she began to feel like she generally liked helping thes
e
people. Each person she helped needed it, these weren't the privileged who bemoaned thei
r
fate from their soap boxes, these were the real people who needed to be fed or they woul
d
starve. It made her feel good to help them.

So, when Cale called Amy up one night to see if she wanted to meet up with him and som
e
friends at a local bar, Amy felt wonderful. Things were finally turning around. She put o
n
the best casual outfit she could find, which amounted to little more than a white blouse an
d
skinny jeans, and she spent a decent amount of time making herself up in her bathroom mirror.

She even noticed a few looks from other men as she walked down the street, and though thos
e
had always made her a bit nervous, she took them in stride this night. Soon Amy reached th
e
bar Cale had told her about, and elbowed her way through the crowd to the table at the back
,
where Cale had said they would be.

Someone was leaning on Cale. A girl. Her age. Blonde hair. Skirt. Tight shirt. She wa
s
leaning on him and whispering things into her ear, and as Amy approached, licked it. Cale, a
t
least, had the grace to look a bit embarrassed. When he saw Amy coming, he stood up an
d
motioned her over. "Hey Amy!"

She said "Hi," and greeted the rest of them. Jacob and Deb were there, and though they seeme
d
happy to see her, Amy saw that they wore frowns. The frowns were directed at the girl wh
o
hung on Cale like a badly setup ornament.

"This is Lizzie," Cale mumbled, indicating the girl.

"Hello," she slurred, and reached out a hand to shake Amy's. Amy took it, gave it a singl
e
pump, and planted herself down next to Jacob.

The evening deteriorated quickly. Everyone did their best to stay civil and polite, bu
t
Lizzie's presence hung over them like a thick, dark cloud. She barely said anything. Rather
,
she seemed to think it more prudent to plaster herself all over Cale. She licked his ear
,
nibbled his neck, and kept trying to kiss him. 

That he resisted wasn't so much a testament to impulse control, Amy thought, but rathe
r
disgust. She didn't know how men found such people attractive, but she didn't think anyon
e
would find someone so sloppy and all over the place appealing.

From time to time, she tried to get a word in. Jacob and Deb were
both polite listeners, an
d
the new people she'd never met were friendly as well. All she had really wanted to do wa
s
talk to Cale, but the Lizze made it impossible.

Things took a turn for the worst, when, after downing two shots - one meant for her, th
e
other meant for Cale - Lizzie hiccupped, and puked out. Fortunately - within the context o
f
the situation - she had been facing away from the table towards the floor. Leaning her bac
k
against Cale as if he were a chair. The dark liquid spilled from her and splattered on th
e
floor. Everyone went quiet.

Cale looked mortified. "I'm sorry," he said, without making eye contact with anyone. "I'
m
real sorry."

He helped Lizzie up, and then guided her out the door. The bartender shouted at him as th
e
left, and the other patrons shook their head as they walked out.

"Well," Jacob said. "That was unpleasant."
 

"Very," Deb said.

Amy stayed quiet, watching the two walk out. It hurt. It really hurt. She had liked Cale, an
d
knew Cale had liked her at one point. Was this the kind of person he really went for, though?

Drunken messes? She had thought him a better person than that. She had thought him a mature
,
happy, good person. The bar had already smelled like stale beer, but the aroma of vomit mad
e
it worse. Amy excused herself shortly afterwards.

Deb managed to take hold of her arm before she stepped out. "You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Deb frowned. "Right," she said. "Look, don't get yourself down about that idiot Cale wa
s
with. Why don't you stay with us a bit longer?"

"Thanks, but I'm okay." She gently disengaged herself from Deb's grip and continued walkin
g
out. Then she stopped. She looked out at the streetlights from outside and listened to th
e
people around her. Cale was just Cale. He wasn't the only person she knew at Carrie Cares
.
And if Deb was any indication, they too cared about her. "You know what?" She said, turnin
g
back to Deb. "I will stay. Sorry."

Deb smiled and put her arm around Amy's shoulder. "That's the spirit. Cale's great but he ca
n
be a moron sometimes. Come on, let's get a drink and get back to the table."

"Mind if we find a new table?" Amy asked as they headed for the bar.