Nicole Jordan (18 page)

“The only way I know of to dissolve our union is through divorce.”

Aurora felt the color fade from her face. Divorce, even if one could be secured—which would be extremely difficult—would ruin her. “A divorce would be disastrous for me. It would brand me a pariah in society. I could never show my face in polite company again.”

“Perhaps,” he said musingly, “I could try to have an American court declare the marriage invalid. I might have a case, since I was compelled to wed under duress.”

“Couldn’t we simply go on as if you had never returned?” she asked earnestly. “What would be the harm in leading separate lives?”

He studied her for a moment. “You realize that as long as we’re wed, neither of us can ever marry again?”

“I have no desire ever to marry. Once was enough.” She saw his eyebrow lift and bit her lip. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. It’s only that I suffered a great despair when I thought you dead, and I don’t wish ever to endure that again. I vowed I would forget my loss and make a new life for myself. And I have thus far.”

“I have a question,” Nicholas said slowly. “Suppose we do remain legally bound. What happens if either of us should fall in love with someone else? You would certainly want to be free of the marriage then.”

“There is little chance of my falling in love again. I loved Geoffrey for most of my life, and I don’t believe I could ever love any man but him. But even if I could, I am determined I will never give my heart again. It is too painful to lose someone I care for.”

Nicholas clenched his jaw for an instant, but then his mouth relaxed in a faint smile. “Have you considered my perspective? What if I come to love someone else?”

That possibility gave her an unaccountable jolt, but she dismissed it with a skeptical look. A rake like Nicholas Sabine was not likely to fall in love. “I doubt that will happen, but I will make you a promise. If you ever do find someone else to love, I will free you from our marriage. I’ll agree to an annulment or a divorce—whatever it takes to end our union.”

“So for now we do nothing?”

“Yes,” she said, relieved that he intended to be reasonable. “In public we can pretend the other doesn’t exist—”

“I am supposed to be your cousin by marriage. It would look odd if we failed to at least speak when we meet in public.”

“Well, perhaps we could acknowledge the acquaintance in public.”

“What about in private?”

“There is no reason for us to have any private contact.” She gave him a stern look. “Or any contact at all. Indeed, I don’t know why you are even considering remaining in England. You would do better to leave at once. If you remain, you will only get yourself killed. I couldn’t bear that, Nicholas.”

“Thank you for your concern, sweetheart, but I don’t intend to die any time soon.”

“You didn’t intend to be imprisoned or sentenced to hang four months ago, either.”

Nicholas cocked his head as he regarded her. “There is one other aspect we haven’t considered. Carnal relations. If you and I are still wed, we cannot take other lovers without committing adultery.”

Aurora felt her cheeks color. He wanted other lovers? Why that should bother her, she couldn’t fathom. It would be unnatural for a man of Nicholas’s lusty nature to give up carnal pleasures. And she would have no right to demand fidelity from him in any case, not if she asked to be free of their vows.

She forced a smile, attempting to sound worldly. “I understand many married men have affairs. I would have no objection to you seeking out other women or keeping a mistress if you wish.”

“And what of you?” His intent gaze held hers.

“You needn’t concern yourself with me on that score. I don’t intend to take any lovers.”

“A lifetime is a long time to remain celibate, especially for a woman as passionate as I know you to be.”

She stood up abruptly, uncomfortable with the intimate turn of the conversation. “That reminds me. You entrusted me with another mission….”

She went to her dressing table and drew out the jewel-encrusted journal, which was carefully wrapped in oilcloth. “Raven’s mother left this for you. It is the book your father gave her.”

When she handed the package to Nicholas, he opened it curiously. “An expensive gift, obviously,” he murmured.

“So it would seem—and rather old.”

“What is it about?”

“It is a journal, written by a Frenchwoman who was enslaved in a Turkish pasha’s harem.”

After reading the title, Nicholas thumbed through a few pages, then shot Aurora a glance. “You’ve read this?”

“Yes.” She felt herself blushing again. “I wanted to see if it was appropriate for Raven. It most certainly is not.”

“I would say not,” he observed, giving her a long, vaguely amused look. “I doubt your upbringing prepared you for anything this erotic, either.”

“Of course it didn’t,” Aurora replied. She had been shocked by the explicitness and sensual detail of the journal…and yet captivated at the same time. Against her better judgement, her breeding, even her will, she had found herself drawn into the beautiful, erotic recounting of the Frenchwoman’s love affair with her master, a tale of smoldering passion, so vividly told. She had actually read the journal more than once. She knew some passages by heart, although she had no intention of admitting it to Nicholas.

“Now that you are here,” she told him, “I can turn it over to you. You can be the one to decide when Raven is old enough to have it.”

“I look forward to reading it with great anticipation. Now, where were we in our discussion?”

“We had concluded our discussion.”

“Not quite,” Nicholas said. “Before you changed the subject, I was remarking on your passionate nature, you will recollect. I was saying that I don’t imagine you’ll be happy remaining celibate your entire life.”

Her discomfort returned in full measure, as did her vexation with Nicholas. A discussion of such private issues was wholly out of bounds, despite his apparent belief that he had a right to such intimacy.

Aurora gave him her coolest glance. “I believe that is entirely my concern, Nicholas. I also believe that I have discharged my promise to you, and that we have said all there is to say. It is time now for you to go.”

“Not yet.”

She tensed. “What do you mean, not yet?”

“Before you take a vow of celibacy, you should consider what you are rejecting. Come here, Aurora.”

Her look turned wary. “Why?”

“Because I want to kiss you.”

“You must be jesting.”

“Not at all. We started off on the wrong foot last night, with my reproaching you for forgetting your widowhood. I would like to make up for it.”

Nervously Aurora backed up a step. “There is no need for you to do anything but leave, Nicholas. Immediately. You have no right to be here—”

“Actually, I do. I am your husband. The law gives a husband the right to share his wife’s bed.”

“You are
not
my husband. In the eyes of the world, I was widowed four months ago.”

“Need I remind you how curious your servants would be to find me here?” His half smile irked her almost as much as his veiled threat. “I have only to call out and they will come running.”

“You wouldn’t dare. You would never risk exposing your identity.”

His eyebrow lifted, as if to ask whether she wanted to test her theory.

Resolving to call his bluff, Aurora put her hands on her hips in defiance. “Now that I think of it, I could report you to any number of governmental authorities. I expect the navy would be eager to recapture an escaped pirate.”

A gleam lit his dark eyes. “I don’t think you will turn me in. You don’t want to see my neck stretched on the gallows.”

Her frustration reached the boiling point. What she wanted was to wipe that knowing look off Nicholas’s handsome face. It was utterly underhanded to use her concern for him as leverage to force her to do as he wished.

She couldn’t possibly expose him, though. Not only because she was desperate to avoid the scandal that would ensue if he was found in her bedchamber, but because she couldn’t bear to see any harm come to Nicholas. She nearly stamped her foot in vexation.

“You know very well I cannot denounce you,” she finally muttered. “I don’t want your death on my conscience.”

“I knew you were a compassionate woman.”

“Well, I thought you were a
gentleman
,” Aurora retorted, infuriated by his reckless, irresistible charm.

“I am a gentleman.”

“You most certainly are not. A gentleman would honor his promise.”

“Which promise was that?” Nicholas asked, a lazy fire in his eyes. “The one regarding our union, where I pledged to love and cherish my bride?”

“The one where we agreed to one night of marriage.”

“One night wasn’t enough,” he said softly.

“It will have to be. I don’t intend to play the wanton with you.”

Nicholas held out his hand. “Come here and kiss me, Aurora, before I decide to raise my voice.”

She glared at him. “This is blackmail!”

“So it is.”

“You are despicable.”

“And you are as beautiful as I remember…more so, since the sadness in your eyes is gone. Come here. I won’t claim my marital rights. I only want a kiss.”

The velvet edge in his voice didn’t reassure her in the least. Yet he might very well reveal his presence to her servants unless she did as he wanted. “One kiss, and then you will go?”

“If you insist.”

“You swear it?”

“Unequivocally.”

Every muscle in her body stiff, Aurora unwillingly complied. When she moved to stand beside the bed, however, Nicholas made no attempt to kiss her. Instead he took her hand.

Gazing up at her, he drew her forefinger completely into his mouth and suckled. A treacherous heat radiated suddenly from the pit of Aurora’s stomach, and she had to stifle a gasp.

“You said one
kiss
,” she said through clenched teeth.

“You can’t deny the pleasure you feel,” he murmured. “Your heart is beating much too rapidly for you to claim disinterest.”

“Will you please just get on with it?”

“So impatient,” Nicholas replied lightly.

He drew her down and pressed her back upon the bed, then eased his body over hers. She could feel the strength of him against her—the powerful granite of his thighs, the flat, hard belly, the muscles rippling in his chest and shoulders.

He remained that way for a long moment, gazing down into her eyes, his fingers cradling her cheek.

“Well?” Aurora demanded breathlessly, trying to ignore the temptation of his beautiful mouth.

“Sheathe your claws, siren. I only want to remind you of what you would be missing…the pleasure to be found in my arms,” he whispered before his lips lowered to cover hers.

Chapter Ten

Hunger ran rampant through Nicholas as he drank of Aurora’s trembling mouth. Her lips were incredibly soft, her warmth feeding his senses like flame.

When she stirred restlessly beneath him, his hand closed in the silk of her hair, holding her still for his kiss, his tongue thrusting slow and deep, penetrating in a blatant imitation of what he yearned to do between her thighs.

In only moments, she was pressing against his fully aroused body, her hips rocking against his, seeking his hardness. He felt a surge of triumph at her helpless response. When she moaned softly, Nicholas shuddered, so swollen with need he felt near to bursting.

Yet he was the one who broke off the kiss. In an agony of desire, he rolled over onto his back, breathing harshly. He had vastly overestimated his control, he knew that now.

Draping an arm over his forehead, Nick sucked in a deep breath. He was still aching, his hardened shaft cramping beneath his breeches. But he didn’t dare continue kissing Aurora. It had been a mistake even to touch her.

Beside him, she unsteadily rose up on her elbow, her hair sliding over her shoulders in an untamed fall of pale gold. She looked shaky, uncertain, as she gazed at him with wonder and concern in her wide blue eyes. She’d felt the same powerful forces that he had, he knew. The pure carnal desire. The raw, primal need that still throbbed through him. The intense, heart-wrenching feeling of intimacy that he’d never experienced with any other woman.

Oh, yes, the bond between them was very real.

“You can’t pretend,” he murmured, his voice edged with hoarseness, “that there is nothing between us.”

“That…was only lust.”

“Four months is indeed a long time for a man to be without a woman,” he said wryly. “But I’ve endured longer abstinences. And my lust doesn’t explain your response, dearheart. Come now, admit it. You wanted more than a kiss from me.”

Her hand rose to her lips, still lush and wet from his kiss, and another fierce ache surged through Nicholas. The temptation to take her was so great, he had to lock his jaw against the yearning inside him.

He had best leave, before his resistance shattered, before he gathered Aurora in his arms and ravished her till they were both too exhausted to care about such matters as scandal and mortal danger.

Untangling himself, Nick rose and began to dress, aware that she was watching him warily.

“You really are leaving?” Aurora asked finally as he shrugged into his tunic.

“I said I would.”

Evidently she didn’t trust him to keep his word about settling for merely a kiss. And she clearly was still troubled about their situation.

“But what about our marriage, Nicholas? You do agree that we should not try to carry on as husband and wife? That we should live separate lives?”

Now wasn’t at all a good time to admit he intended to claim her for his wife. “That does seem the best option at the moment.”

He could almost sense her relief. His response evidently emboldened her to remark further.

“I do wish you would reconsider remaining in England and return home.”