He nodded. “That makes it worthwhile. Believe it or not, I even thought about it myself while I was there. For the first time in my life I thought long and hard about becoming a father, even though I’d never believed that would happen.”
Kelsey quickly looked up at him. “Why not? I’m sure you’d be a great father. What kid wouldn’t want a dad who knows how to hot-wire a car?”
He shook his head, chuckling, and replied, “I’ve come a long way from those days. It’s funny when you think about it. I grew up resentful as hell toward my parents, and ended up a lot like them…a little introverted, a little selfish. I travel all the time. I’m not cut out for home, family and kids. The only times I ever felt a family connection were when I was staying with your parents.”
She gave him a sour look. “You sure were around enough to be a Logan!”
“To me, you were like a television show from the fifties that I could step into and pretend I was part of for a little while. But I never felt I was really one of you.”
She stared at him, knowing what he said was true. Mitch had always been a little removed from them, always prepared for the rug to be pulled out from under him. At first it was evident in his rebellion, later in his self-imposed isolation.
“Anyway,” he continued, “I’m not really cut out for kids, just as my parents weren’t.”
“I’m quite sure your parents love you, Mitch. But admit it, you weren’t the easiest kid to deal with.”
She saw his wicked grin and knew he was indulging in a little reminiscing about his hellion years.
“I know you’re right,” he said. “I was totally out of their realm. I got more interesting to them when I was older, once your parents helped me overcome my tendency toward self-destruction. And they’re certainly pleased I ended up so
respectable
.”
He said the word as if it pained him, and Kelsey grinned. “I somehow suspect they know you well enough to be aware that the badass in you is always lurking just underneath the surface.”
He shook his head ruefully, leaned back on the sofa and said, “Kelsey, until you moved into my life, I would have sworn that
badass
was long gone!”
“Gee, that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Mitch,” she said with a self-satisfied smirk.
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
Kelsey slid up on the sofa to sit next to him. Papers and books covered two of the three cushions, and Kelsey nudged Mitch with her hip until he made room for her. He gave a loud, theatrical sigh as she sat down.
“Admit it, I’m not so bad to have around.”
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “There are a few definite benefits to having you around, Kels.”
She liked the sound of that.
“Mainly, it earns me points with your family.”
She elbowed him in the ribs. “Not funny.”
Kelsey reached out to retrieve the stack of pictures on the table, slowly flipping through them again. She sensed Mitch watching her. His body was pressed against hers, from hip to knee. When he stretched his arm across the back of the sofa behind her, she curled up into the crook under his arm. He didn’t pull away. Kelsey closed her eyes briefly and savored the heavy weight of his arm on her
shoulders, and the faint scent of his cologne. His neck was inches from her face, and the urge to press a kiss below his right ear was nearly overwhelming. She resisted it by focusing on the pictures. He took a few from her and glanced through them himself.
“You’re wrong, you know,” she said as they finished going through the stack. “You have a huge heart, Mitch. You are not destined to be alone.”
She turned her face up to look at him, staring intently into his dark blue eyes. He didn’t say anything. Kelsey couldn’t stop looking at him, knowing she wasn’t quite staying within the “friends” boundary they’d decided on. She didn’t care. She’d be willing to bet money that he didn’t, either. Especially when she realized he was going to kiss her.
He leaned forward slowly and brought his lips to hers. He kissed her sweetly, lovingly, and Kelsey nearly melted. This wasn’t mindless passion, the heated exchanges they’d shared in the stairway, but instead a kiss of comfort and longing and sweet seduction. She opened her mouth slightly, inviting him to further the intimacy, and he complied, his tongue engaging hers in a slow, seductive dance.
Kelsey didn’t want the kiss to end. But when it finally did, Mitch didn’t jerk away from her. Instead he closed his eyes and moved slightly so his cheek rested against her temple. She felt his heart pounding under her fingertips, which had somehow found their way to his shirt-clad chest.
“Mitch?” she whispered against the side of his neck. “Is that how friends usually kiss?”
“I think that’s possible,” he replied softly.
“Then I’m awfully glad you’re my friend.”
“W
E NEED TO TALK
.”
Kelsey didn’t look up from the pile of correspondence
she’d been sorting through. Mitch was obviously trying to keep busy, to cover up the awkward silence that had ensued after their kiss.
“I’m so sick of talking,” she replied.
Mitch had been brooding for the past half hour, ever since he’d finally moved away from her and gone back to work. She knew he was trying to figure out what to say, how to rationalize that kiss, and she did not want to hear it.
“We kissed. Friends kiss all the time. You said so yourself. Besides, I think it was natural for us to seek a little emotional release after talking about something so draining. Let’s not make more of it than it was, all right?”
Mitch didn’t let it go. “Look, Kelsey, there’s something happening here, and we need to sort it out.”
Kelsey nodded, sighing, giving in. They’d have to have this conversation sooner or later. “I understand, Mitch. I think, for the first time, I truly understand what you’re feeling.”
“You do? Tell me, would you?” he said with a self-deprecating smile as he popped a handful of peanuts into his mouth.
“You want me so bad it’s killing you.”
Mitch choked, and Kelsey jumped up and pounded him on the back.
“Excuse me?” he said when he’d finally stopped coughing.
“You heard me. There’s no harm in admitting an attraction, Mitch. You want me. I know because I feel the same way about you.”
“That’s comforting,” he said, an amused grin crossing his face.
“And I finally understand why you have fought the attraction and made every effort to avoid me. I always figured you just saw me as a kid, a brat who used to bug you. But it’s a lot deeper than that, right? It’s all mixed up in your head, your loyalty to Nathan, your feelings for my parents, your view of yourself as an outsider.”
He stared at her, saying nothing, but Kelsey knew she was right.
“It’s okay,” she insisted. “Now that I know you’re not just being a tease, and you have deep reservations about anything happening between us, I can accept your rejections for what they are and not take them personally.”
She sounded so logical again. He really couldn’t stand it when she made things that were so very complicated sound so very simple. But Mitch couldn’t argue with her. She’d cut through all the extraneous garbage floating around in his head, and leaped straight to the correct conclusion. Then what she’d said sank in.
“Tease? What do you mean by that?”
“Well, aren’t men allowed to be called that? I mean, if I were the one who kept grabbing you and kissing you and rubbing all over your body and then running away, that’s what I’d be called, right? And isn’t that what you’ve been doing?” she asked matter-of-factly.
“Absolutely not! Besides, it’s not the same.”
“Why not? Because I’m a woman?”
“Exactly,” he replied before he could think better of it.
“I’ll have you know,
Mr. Hotshot Anthropologist
, that women can have the same physical sensations as men. You’d think, with all the cultures you’ve studied, you’d have learned that women have needs, too. When you kiss me, when you touch me and I feel your body pressing into
mine, all I can think about is making love with you. And when you walk away, it’s frustrating as hell. Of course, now that I understand what the problem is, I can let it go. I can wait, Mitch.”
“Wait?”
“Yes,” she nodded. “Wait for you to come to your senses. But be warned. The next time you start kissing and touching me, you’d better plan to follow through, because I’m not going to let you walk away from me again.”
“You’re not going to let me—”
“Nope,” she said, not allowing him to finish.
“Let me get this straight. You think you can just wait, and I’ll totally forget my sense of responsibility and loyalty and fall into bed with you?”
“No, of course not. It’s not about forgetting anything, it’s about recognizing that you’re placing too heavy a burden on yourself.”
“A burden. Resisting you is a terrible burden?”
“Uh-huh,” she said happily. “But like I said, I can wait. We’ll just be friends, as we decided last night. Good friends.”
“And if that’s all we ever are?”
Kelsey laughed and rolled her eyes as if he’d just made a colossal joke. “Well,
if
that’s all, then we’ll have a terrific, lifelong friendship.”
All he could do was nod. He felt as if he were on a roller coaster, but with Kelsey, he often felt that way. She’d practically challenged him to resist her! For a brief second he considered not resisting her at all, but the impulse was gone in a flash.
Every word he’d said to her about his life and his future was true, and her interpretation was dead-on. She was
throwing down a gauntlet, but he had no intention of picking it up. Kelsey Logan was off-limits.
“Okay, Kelsey. No more mixed signals. Let’s just concentrate on this friendship thing.”
“All right, Mitch.” Kelsey kept her eyes downcast so he wouldn’t spot the excitement she knew sparkled there.
Nodding and looking slightly relieved, Mitch went back to work. Kelsey watched him try to ignore her while he read some newspapers, translating the Chinese figures laboriously. She liked the intensity of his gaze and how his brow furrowed in concentration. A man with brains was incredibly sexy. And Mitch had brains to spare. Of course the fact that he had the looks to match the brains made him that much more devastating.
And now, she greatly feared, he’d gone and tugged on her heartstrings. It was bad enough when she just suffered from a teenage infatuation, then a woman’s major physical attraction. Now she wanted more than simply the satisfaction she knew they’d find in bed. She wanted him to care about her, to continue opening up to her about subjects dear to his heart. She liked that he confided in her, liked that he trusted her. Now all she had to do was get him to admit that his reluctance to getting involved with her was misplaced.
“Um, Mitch?”
Mitch glanced up quickly, and she knew he’d been waiting for her to break the silence hanging in the room like a shroud.
“I wonder, if, as my very dear
friend
, you could do me a tremendous favor.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Go on a date with me. Whoa, whoa,” she continued
quickly, holding up her hands in response to his look of suspicion. “I don’t mean a date, date. I need an escort.”
“For what?”
“The station is a big sponsor of the Wilson College Halloween Ball, and I’ve been asked to appear.”
“Oh, so I’ll be escorting Lady Love?”
“Is that such a problem?”
“Look, Kelsey, we’ve gotten past one major hurdle and agreed to try to get along. Let’s not start another argument this soon. You know very well how I feel about your job.”
“Yes, I do,” she admitted, “and that’s why I hoped you’d help me out. This is Lady Love’s first appearance in public and, frankly, I’m a little nervous. I could use a friendly face.”
That was completely true. She wasn’t ready to admit it to him yet, but Mitch had been right about the fact that she might be drawing attention from some undesirable sources.
Kelsey received a great deal of fan mail at the station. Much of it was complimentary. Some letters were flirtatious, the writers often telling her they’d like to help her with some “research.” Harmless, really. One writer, who’d written a dozen times, signed his letters “Knight of Your Life” and sent some truly awful poetry proclaiming she was his sun, moon and stars. That particular poem had gone on to say her eyes shone as brightly as the headlights of cars. Brian had laughed aloud for five solid minutes, but Kelsey was touched by the author’s earnest sentiment, if not his skills as a poet. He’d been very faithful: she’d been getting letters from him since her very first week on the air.
But lately some of her mail had been a little disturbing. She had heard from jail inmates, and from men who told her very explicitly how they wanted to help Lady Love enhance her sexual knowledge.
Kelsey had already met with Jack, the station manager, about the problem. He’d hired another security guard to assist Edgar, the regular security guy, particularly during her shift. Jack had also offered to have one of them escort her to the Halloween ball, but she’d turned him down. She wasn’t ready to allow some sick creeps to dictate how she’d live her life. Neither, however, was she ready to show up at the party alone.
“Won’t others from the station be going, as well?” Mitch asked.
“Yes,” she said, “but they all will be bringing significant others, and since I don’t have one, I feel I’ll be a target for any single guy who wants to cash in on some of Lady Love’s knowledge.”
“So you do realize that some of the attention you’re getting is not positive?”
“Of course I do,” she answered, shifting her gaze uncomfortably.
Kelsey didn’t want to be dishonest, but she also didn’t want Mitch any more worried than he already was. She couldn’t tell him everything that was going on.
“Look Mitch,” she finally said, “we disagree about what I do. But I have no argument with you about the fact that I’ve put myself in a position where I might draw unwanted admirers.”
“Well, I guess we’re getting somewhere,” Mitch murmured.