Nightingale Way: An Eternity Springs Novel (31 page)

“Mom blows in here like a tornado with no warning, and he has to scramble to do her bidding. It’s ingrained. It’s never going to change. If Jack and I get back together, I need to know that going in.”

Her father drew back. “
Are
you and Jack getting back together?”

That stopped her tirade flat. “No. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“Life usually is. This world we live in definitely is, and that’s what you need to remember when you think about your mother.” Cat snorted, but he pressed on. “Somebody has to be the hero. It’s because of people like your mother and their service to our country that we are able to enjoy our way of life. Melinda might not wear a uniform, but she is just as much a soldier as the man who carries a gun onto a battlefield. The physical risks might not be as great, but the mental ones can be devastating.”

Cat’s thoughts drifted to Jack. Her father wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. Hadn’t those stresses been why she’d tried to resist Jack’s lure to begin with? Hadn’t those stresses contributed to the breakup of their marriage?

Weren’t those same stresses causing her to guard her heart against him now?

This morning, he’d come right out and said the words.
I love you. You still love me
.

Did she? She didn’t want to. She’d barely survived the destruction of the marriage the first time. Going through that again would kill her.

“How did you do it, Dad? How did you manage Mom’s job all these years?”

He eyed her curiously. “It hasn’t always been easy, I admit. But your mother is a very, very special woman, Catherine, and I love her. That’s all that ever mattered.”

“But sometimes love isn’t enough.”

“Isn’t it? Or maybe it’s a case where the strings we place on love are holding it back from being what it is meant to be.”

She frowned, hearing what he’d undoubtedly intended for her to hear. Her father always had been an excellent educator. Had she placed conditions on her love for Jack? Put tethers on the eagle? “That’s possible. But I wonder if perhaps sometimes, some loves are meant to be grounded. Maybe that’s what sets them free.”

Free as in secure, certain without a doubt that love would be there to share, strengthen, and support in the hard times.

George Blackburn gave his daughter’s cheek a kiss. “Could be, Sunshine. Could be. No one’s life path is the same. You asked me about mine and your mother’s. What I know is that we loved each other and wanted to make that love work. The sacrifices we made for each other strengthened us.”

Cat stiffened slightly at that. “What sacrifices did Mom make for you?”

He studied her, surprise showing in his eyes. “You don’t know?”

Baffled, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, but your marriage always seemed one-sided to me.”

“Oh, Cat.” He smiled wryly. “I know we haven’t made a secret of what happened back then. You surely know all this.”

“All what?”

“First, I suppose you’ve realized that your mother’s pregnancy wasn’t planned?”

“Yeah, figured that one out when I was in fifth grade and discovered that pregnancies lasted nine months, not seven.”

He grinned sheepishly. “You were loved from the moment we knew about you, though, sweetheart. At the time, I was a grad student with a part-time job. Your mother already had a government job—with security and benefits. She was our breadwinner. It made sense that she continue to work after you were born, and my hours as a student allowed me to spend more time with you. Then I got the offer to come to Georgetown and your mother’s boss recommended her to the Agency. The plan was for me to get established and then your mother would quit and become a stay-at-home mom.”

“What?” If her dad had claimed her mom wanted to be a Rockette she’d have been less shocked.

“We wanted more children.”

“What!”

This was total news to her. If anyone other than her dad had been telling her this, she wouldn’t have believed it, but her father didn’t lie to her. He never had.

“So what happened?”

“Her two-week vacation when you were eighteen months old. Don’t take this badly, Catherine, but you
were a clingy child. You and I had bonded. You threw tantrums when I left you with your mother. You truly were a little monster.”

“Well, that’s lovely to know.”

“It shattered her confidence. She was young and she believed she was a terrible mother. Nothing she did for you was right—or so she thought. And she tried. Oh, how she tried. When her vacation was over and she returned to work, she was recruited into the … human resources department … and her responsibilities, well, broadened. We adjusted. Our goals and desires changed. Your mother is a brilliant woman, Cat. I think she would have made a wonderful stay-at-home mother of three, given time. But that wasn’t to be, partly because of the choice she made early on, the sacrifice she made for me and, frankly, for you, to be this family’s primary breadwinner. It put us on a different life path.”

Cat’s mind spun. Her father had been correct. She had known these basic facts—well, except for the part about her being a brat—but she’d never put all the pieces together in a puzzle like this. Her father had painted a different picture of her mother than she’d ever before seen or considered.

No wonder she’d always been closer to her dad and distant from Melinda. It started early on, and while it wasn’t anyone’s fault … it simply evolved over time. “I need to think about this,” she murmured.

He patted her leg. “You do that. And while you’re thinking, be aware that everyone encounters crossroads in their lives, but unless you’re riding in the same car, you don’t usually arrive at the intersection at the same time.”

“All right, Professor. You lost me on that one.”

“You’ll figure it out. You know me, I like to make you work for your answers. Now, tell me about this bachelorette
party you attended. Celeste told your mother that you all got arrested and spent the night in jail?”

Jack shut the file folder and closed his eyes. A sickness of spirit washed through him. “I had no clue, Melinda.”

“It’s been the biggest disappointment of my career up until now.”

“Do you believe this offer is legitimate?”

“Who knows?” She removed her reading glasses and set them on the desk. She rubbed her eyes. “I haven’t managed to give the problem the focus it deserves.”

Jack made certain to keep any sign of pity or concern wiped from his face. Melinda Blackburn would appreciate neither. “What do you want from me?”

“We must follow through. We need boots on the ground to analyze the situation and make immediate decisions.”

He winced and glanced at the pile of mail on the corner of his desk. Somewhere in the stack was the invitation to Cam and Sarah’s wedding. “My cousin is getting married. I’m his best man.”

“I know, Jack. I’m sorry.”

“There must be someone else who could go. What about Dixon?”

“He’s already in the field.”

“Dammit, Melinda.” Jack shoved to his feet and paced his office. He rubbed his forehead with his thumb and fingers. How could he possibly go? How could he possibly not go? The lives of three good men … three of his fellow operatives … were at stake. If he abandoned them now he couldn’t live with himself. He already had enough ghosts haunting his soul.

Cam would understand. He’d be disappointed, but he would understand. Sarah, maybe not so much. After all, she had the balance in the wedding photos to deal with. Someone could take his place. He and Zach Turner were of a similar size. So, Cam and Sarah he could deal with.

Cat wouldn’t like this one bit. This was exactly the sort of thing she held against him. The job. Always, the job. And once again, her mother was involved. Could this get any better?

“Maybe I can get back. I have six days. If I leave immediately, grease some palms to speed up the process, maybe I can get back.”

“The budget won’t allow for greasing anything.”

“Then it’s a good thing that I have plenty of my own grease to spread around.” The decision made, his mind immediately began to calculate what steps were required, what preparations he needed to make to pull this thing off in order to get back in time for the wedding. Mentally, he had left his office, left Eagle’s Way, so when he noticed that Melinda had repeated his name—with an obvious bite in her voice—he realized she must have been trying to get his attention for some time. “We have another matter to discuss before you go. Sit down, please.”

Frustration rolled through him. He didn’t need a delay. He needed to get moving now. “Melinda, every minute counts at this point.”

She leaned forward, her spine snapping straight, as her eyes flashed. “You think this is news to me, under the circumstances?”

The wheelchair. The surgery.
Well, hell
.

“Sorry.” Jack took his seat and made a conscious effort to stop his toes from tapping. “What else do we have to discuss?”

Melinda Blackburn sucked in a bracing breath, folded her hands in her lap, and said, “My retirement.”

Jack drew back. Retirement? Melinda? She wasn’t at retirement age yet. Real fear skittered through him. “Is there more to this illness than you’ve shared?”

“I’m not dying, Jack. I have decided to retire and I am actually looking forward to it. I want to spend more
time with George. I want to have a taste of life outside of Washington.”

He studied the face he knew so well. All right, he concluded. She wasn’t dying, and maybe she was trying to look forward to retirement, but she wasn’t there yet. And he spied a vulnerability inside her that he’d never seen before.

It was a good thing he was already sitting down, because she would have knocked his feet out from under him when she added, “I’ve been authorized to offer you the job.”

“Me?”

“It should come as no great surprise. I groomed you for the position for years.”

“Not the past few years,” he returned. Not since he’d left Cat. A cocktail of pride, excitement, panic, and dread swirled in his stomach. “I’m a field agent, not a planner.”

“You’ve been a runaway.”

“Excuse me? What do you mean by that?”

“You fled from my daughter. Fled from your marriage.”

Jack’s lips thinned. “I don’t discuss my marriage with you, Melinda.”

“Then don’t ask me questions about it.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she gave him the Evil Boss Eye, so he swallowed the protest back. “Your marriage and your job have been intertwined from the first. I’m not saying that running away was the wrong thing to do. You needed to separate your marriage and your job. Honestly, you never would have been right for my job if you didn’t learn to do that. You did manage to refrain from discussing your marriage with me, Jack, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t broadcast details about your life in other ways while you were with Cathy. Your body language was unmistakable. It was a weakness.”

Insulted, he snapped back. “Then why in the world would you offer me your job now? Because I’m divorced?”

“Because you’re ready for it. I’ll be honest. Yes, the divorce is part of it, because the divorce helped shape you into the man you are today. You’ve always had the intelligent, analytical mind necessary to be successful in this job. You’ve always had the passion needed for the work. But your field experience of recent years has matured you, and I am confident that you now possess the dedication needed to lead and succeed in this position.”

“What about Cat?”

“Yes, what about Cathy?” When he didn’t respond, she quietly said, “She’s different from her father. George has been content to be the spouse of a director. That’s not what Cathy needs or wants.”

“So that’s why you sent me to her? You thought we needed one more fling to get each other out of our systems?”

“Both of you made the decision to split when you were wounded and thinking unclearly. Now you’re healthy, and you need to confirm that decision once and for all. It’s time, Jack. You’ve both lived in limbo for the past five years. Take the job and it will be a clean cut for you both. Finally.”

“I don’t know, Melinda. I’m not sure …”

Her tone quiet and encouraging, she said, “This is what you’ve wanted, what you’ve worked for since the day you and I were introduced. Lives depend upon the work my department does. Many more lives are affected by our successes. It’s important work. You’ll be wonderful in the job, Jack. I think it’s the job that you were born to do.”

Softly, he murmured, “I wanted to be a fireman.”

“I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“When do you need an answer?”

She lifted her chin. “Do you honestly need to think about it?”

A year ago, no, he wouldn’t have needed to think. Six months ago, he’d have accepted on the spot. One month ago?

One month ago, he’d already carted Cat off to Colorado, so yeah, he’d have wanted to sleep on it. If she’d asked him this question a week ago, he’d have wanted to think long and hard about it. Today, his answer hung on the tip of his tongue, and the fact that he did react so instinctively made him literally bite his tongue and suck in a deep breath.

“I love your daughter.”

“Does she love you?”

He hesitated. He believed she loved him, but since their reunion, she had never said those words. Not yet, anyway. She would. She loved him. He knew she did. “She will.”

“And then what? You will destroy each other all over again?”

Anger flared within him. She didn’t know that. That outcome wasn’t written in stone.

But now wasn’t the time to argue with her. “You know what? I need to focus on my trip. This discussion can wait until I return.” He picked up the file folder from his desk, then hesitated. He felt bad about running out on Cam. Leaving Cat under these circumstances almost felt worse. “What is your schedule? You and George are welcome to stay here for as long as you’d like, of course, and this office has everything you should require.”

“Thank you, but George and I have a reservation at Angel’s Rest. I don’t expect that I will need secure communications during the next few weeks, but if something does come up that requires my attention, I will appreciate access to your equipment.”