Nights with Uncle Remus (27 page)

“Little gal, she holler back: ‘Yes, daddy.'

“All dis time, Brer Rabbit he 'uz settin out dar in de bushes dozin'. Yit, w'en he year he name call out so loud, he cock up one year en lissen, en he 'low ter hisse'f dat he bleedz ter outdo Mr. Man. Bimeby, Brer Rabbit, he went 'roun' en come down de big road des ez natchul ez ef he bin trafflin some'rs. He see de little gal settin' by de gate, en he up'n 'low:

“ ‘Aint dish yer Miss Janey?'

“Little gal say: ‘My daddy call me Janey.' Uncle Remus mimicked the voice and manner of a little girl. He hung his head, looked excessively modest, and spoke in a shrill tone. The effect was so comical that even Daddy Jack seemed to enjoy it.

“ ‘My daddy call me Janey; w'at yo' daddy call you?'

“Brer Rabbit look on de groun', en sorter study lak folks does w'en dey feels bad. Den he look up en 'low:

“ ‘I bin lose my daddy dis many long year, but w'en he 'live he call me Billy Malone.' Den he look at de little gal hard en 'low: ‘Well, well, well! I aint seed you sence you 'uz a little bit er baby, en now yer you is mighty nigh a grown 'oman. I pass yo' daddy in de road des now, en he say I mus' come en tell you fer ter gimme a mess er sparrer-grass.'

“Little gal, she fling de gate wide open, en let Mr. Billy Malone git de sparrer-grass.

“Man come back en see whar somebody done bin tromplin' on de gyarden truck, en den he call up de little gal, en up'n ax 'er who bin dar since he bin gone; en de little gal, she 'low, she did, dat Mr. Billy Malone bin dar. Man ax who in de name er goodness is Mr. Billy Malone. Little gal 'low hit's des a man w'at say 'er daddy sont 'im fer ter git some sparrer-grass on account er ole acquaintance. Man got his 'spicions, but he aint say nothin.'

“Nex' day, w'en he start off, he holler en tell de little gal fer ter keep one eye on ole Brer Rabbit, en don't let nobody git no mo' sparrer-grass. Brer Rabbit, he settin' off dar in de bushes, en he year w'at de man say, en he see 'im w'en he go off. Bimeby, he sorter run 'roun', ole Brer Rabbit did, en he come hoppin' down de road, twell he git close up by de little gal at de gyardin gate. Brer Rabbit drapt 'er his biggest bow, en ax 'er how she come on. Den, atter dat, he 'low, he did:

“ ‘I see yo' daddy gwine 'long down de road des now, en he gimme a rakin' down kaze I make 'way wid de sparrer-grass, yit he say dat bein's how I sech a good fr'en' er de fambly I kin come en ax you fer ter gimme a mess er Inglish peas.'

“Little gal, she tuck'n fling de gate wide open, en ole Brer Rabbit, he march in, he did, en he git de peas in a hurry. Man come back atter w'ile, en he low:

“ ‘Who bin tromplin down my pea-vines?'

“ ‘Mr. Billy Malone, daddy.'

“Man slap he han' on he forrud
⁵⁴
; he dunner w'at ter make er all dis. Bimeby, he low:

“ ‘W'at kinder lookin' man dish yer Mr. Billy Malone?'

“ ‘Split lip, pop eye, big year, en bob-tail, daddy.'

“Man say he be bless ef he aint gwine ter make de acquaintance er Mr. Billy Malone; en he went ter wuk, he did, en fix 'im up a box-trap, en he put some goobers in dar, en he tell de little gal nex' time Mr. Billy Malone come fer vite 'im in. Nex' mawnin', Man git little ways fum de house en tuck'n holler back, he did:

“ ‘W'atsumever you does, don't you dast ter let nobody git no mo' sparrer-grass, en don't you let um git no mo' Inglish peas.'

“Little gal holler back: ‘No, daddy.'

“Den, atter dat, 'twan't long 'fo' yer come Mr. Billy Malone, hoppin' 'long down de big road. He drapt a bow, he did, en 'low:

“Mawnin', Miss Janey, mawnin'! Met yo' daddy down de big road, en he say dat I can't git no mo' sparrer-grass en green peas, but you kin gimme some goobers.'

“Little gal, she lead de way, en tell Mr. Billy Malone dar dey is in de box. Mr. Billy Malone, he lick he chops, he did, en 'low:

“ ‘You oughter be monst'us glad, honey, dat you got sech a good daddy lak dat.'

“Wid dat, Mr. Billy Malone wunk he off eye, en jump in de box.”

“W'at I done tell you!” exclaimed Aunt Tempy.

“ ‘He jump in de box,” contained Uncle Remus, “en dar he wuz, en ef de little gal hadder bin a minnit bigger, I lay she'd 'a' tuck'n done some mighty tall winkin'.

“Man aint gone fur, en 'twa'nt long 'fo' yer he come back. W'en Brer Rabbit year 'im comin' he bounce 'roun' in dar same ez a flea in a piller-case, but 'taint do no good. Trap done fall, en Brer Rabbit in dar. Man look thoo' de slats, en 'low:

“ ‘Dar you is—same old hoppum-skippum run en jumpum. Youer de ve'y chap I'm atter. I want yo' foot fer ter kyar in my pocket, I want yo' meat fer ter put in de pot, en I want yo' hide fer ter w'ar on my head.'

“Dis make cold chill rush up en down Brer Rabbit backbone, en he git more 'umble dan a town nigger w'at been kotch out atter nine erclock.
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He holler en cry, en cry en holler:

“ ‘Do pray, Mr. Man, tu'n me go! I done 'ceive you dis time, but I aint gwine ter 'ceive you no mo'. Do pray, Mr. Man, tu'n me go, des dis little bit er time.'

“Man he aint sayin' nothin'. He look lak he studyin' 'bout somep'n n'er way off yan', en den he take de little gal by de han' en go off todes de house.”

“Sholy Brer Rabbit time done come now!” exclaimed Aunt Tempy, in a tone of mingled awe and expectation.

Uncle Remus paid no attention to the interruption, but went right on:

“Hit seem lak dat Brer Rabbit go mo' luck dan w'at you kin shake a stick at, kase de man en de little gal aint good en gone skacely twell yer come Brer Fox a pirootin' 'roun'. Brer Fox year Brer Rabbit hollin' en he up'n ax w'at de 'casion er sech gwines on right dar in de broad open daylight. Brer Rabbit squall out:

“ ‘Lordy, Brer Fox! you better make 'as'e'way fum yer, kaze Mr. Man ull ketch you en slap you in dish yer box en make you eat mutton twell you ull des nat'ally bus' right wide open. Run, Brer Fox, run! He bin feedin' me on mutton the whole blessid mawnin' en now he done gone atter mo'. Run, Brer Fox, run!'

“Yit, Brer Fox aint run. He up'n ax Brer Rabbit how de mutton tas'e.

“ ‘He tas'e mighty good 'long at fus', but nuff's a nuff, en too much is a plenty. Run, Brer Fox, run! He ull ketch you, sho!'

“Yit, Brer Fox aint run. He up'n 'low dat he b'leeve he want some mutton hisse'f, en wid dat he onloose de trap en let Brer Rabbit out, en den he tuck'n git in dar. Brer Rabbit aint wait fer ter see w'at de upshot gwine ter be, needer—I boun' you he aint. He des tuck'n gallop off in de woods, en he laff en laff twell he hatter hug a tree fer ter keep fum drappin' on de groun'.”

“Well, but what became of Brother Fox?” the little boy asked, after waiting some time for Uncle Remus to proceed.

“Now, den, honey,” said the old man, falling back upon his dignity, “hit een about takes all my spar' time fer ter keep up wid you en Brer Rabbit, let 'lone keepin' up wid Brer Fox. Ole Brer Rabbit tuck'n tuck keer hisse'f, en now let Brer Fox take keer hisse'f.”

“I say de word!” exclaimed Aunt Tempy.

XXXII

When Uncle Remus began his story of Billy Malone and Miss Janey, Daddy Jack sat perfectly quiet. His eyes were shut, and he seemed to be dozing; but, as the story proceeded, he grew more and more restless. Several times he was upon the point of interrupting Uncle Remus, but he restrained himself. He raised his hands to a level with his chin, and beat the ends of his fingers gently together, apparently keeping time to his own thoughts. But his impatience exhausted itself, and when Uncle Remus had concluded, the old African was as quiet as ever. When Brother Fox was left so unceremoniously to his fate, Daddy Jack straightened himself temporarily and said:

“Me yent bin a yerry da tale so. 'E nice, fer true, 'e mek larf come; oona no bin-a yerry um lak me.”

“No,” said Uncle Remus, with grave affability, “I speck not. One man, one tale; 'n'er man, 'n'er tale. Folks tell um diffunt. I boun' yo' 'way de bes', Brer Jack. Out wid it—en we ull set up yer, en hark at you en laff wid you plum twell de chick'ns crow.”

Daddy Jack needed no other invitation. He clasped his knee in his hands and began:

“Dey is bin lif one Man wut plan' some pea in 'e geerden. 'E plan' some pea, but 'e mek no pea: B'er Rabbit, 'e is fine um. 'E fine um un 'e eat um. Màn mek no pea, B'er Rabbit 'e 'stroy um so. 'E plan' dem pea; dey do grow, un 'e go off. 'E come bahk; pea no dere. B'er Rabbit teer um up un mek 'e cud wit' dem. So long tam, Màn say 'e gwan ketch um, un 'e no ketch um. Màn go, B'er Rabbit come; Màn come, B'er Rabbit go. Bumbye, Màn, 'e is git so mad, 'e y-eye bin-a come red; 'e crack 'e toof, 'e do cuss. 'E oby'e gwan ketch B'er Rabbit nohow. Dun 'e is bin-a call 'e lilly gal. 'E talk, 'e tell 'im fer let B'er Rabbit go troo da geerden gett. Lil gal say yasser. 'E talk, 'e tell 'im wun B'er Rabbit go throo da gett, dun 'e mus' shed da gett, un no le'm come pas' no mo.' Lil gal say yasser.

“Ole Màn is bin-a gone 'bout 'e wuk; lil gal, 'e do lissun. B'er Rabbit, 'e come tippy-toe, tippy-toe; gone in da geerden; eat dem pea tell 'e full up; eat tell he mos' git seeck wit' dem pea. Dun 'e start fer go out; 'e fine da gett shed. 'Ee shek um, 'e no open; 'e push um, 'e no open; 'e fair grunt, 'e push so hard 'e no open. 'E bin-a call da lil gal; 'e say:

“ ‘Lil gal, lil gal! cum y-open da gett. 'Tis hu't me feelin' fer fine da gett shed lak dis.'

“Lil gal no talk nuttin'. B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘'Tis-a bin hu't me feelin', lil gal! Come y-open da gett, lil gal, less I teer um loose from da hinch.'

“Lil gal v'ice come bahk. 'E talk:

“ ‘Daddy say mus'n'.'

“B'er Rabbit open 'e mout'. 'E say:

“ ‘See me long sha'p toof? 'E bite you troo un troo!'

“Lil gal skeer; 'e tu'n loose de gett un fly. B'er Rabbit
gone!
Ole Màn come bahk; 'e ahx 'bout B'er Rabbit. Lil gay say:

“ ‘'E done gone, daddy. I shed da gett, I hol' um fas'. B'er Rabbit bin show 'e toof; 'e gwan fer bite-a me troo un troo. I git skeer', daddy.' Màn ahx:

“ ‘How 'e gwin fer bite you troo un troo, wun 'e toof fix bite grass? B'er Rabbit tell one big tale. 'E no kin bite-a you. Wun 'e come 'g'in, you shed dem gett, you hol'um tight, you no le'm go pas' no mo'.' Lil gal say yasser.

“Nex' day mawnin', Màn go 'long 'bout 'e wuk. Lil gal, 'e play 'roun', un 'e play 'roun'. B'er Rabbit, 'e is come tippy-tippy. 'E fine gett open; 'e slip in da geerden. 'E chew dem pea, 'e gnyaw dem pea; 'e eat tell dem pea tas'e bad. Dun 'e try fer go out; gett shed fas'. 'E no kin git troo. 'E push, gett no open; 'e keet wit; um fut, gett no open; 'e butt wit' um head; gett no open. Dun 'e holler:

“ ‘Lil gal, lil gal! come y-open da gett. 'E berry bad fer fool wit' ole màn lak me. I no kin hol' me feelin' down wun you is do lak dis. 'E berry bad.'

“Lil gal hol' 'e head down; 'e no say nuttin'. B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘Be shame, lil gal, fer do ole màn lak dis. Me feelin' git wusser. Come y-open de gett 'fo' I is teer um down.'

“Lil gal say: ‘Daddy say mus'n'.'

“B'er Rabbit open 'e y-eye wide; 'e is look berry mad. 'E say:

“ ‘See me big y-eye? I pop dis y-eye stret at you, me kill-a you dead. Come y-open da gett 'fo' me y-eye pop.

“Lil gal skeer fer true. 'E loose de gett, 'e fair fly. B'er Rabbit done
gone!
Lil gal daddy bahk. 'E ahx wey is B'er Rabbit. Lil gal say:

“ ‘'E done gone, daddy. I hol' gett fas'; 'e is bin-a 'come berry mad. 'E say he gwan pop 'e y-eye at me, shoot-a me dead.' Màn say:

“ ‘B'er Rabbit tell-a too big tale. How 'e gwan shoot-a you wit' 'e y-eye? 'Ey-eye sem lak turrer folk y-eye. Wun 'e come some mo', you shed dem gett, you hol' um fas'.' Lil gal say yasser.

“Nex' day mawnin, Màn go, B'er Rabbit come. 'E is ma'ch in da gett un eat-a dem pea tell 'e kin eat-a no mo'. 'E sta't out; gett shed. 'E no kin come pas'. 'E shek, 'e push, 'e pull; gett shed. Dun 'e holler:

“Lil gal, lil gal! come y-open da gett. 'Tis berry bad fer treat you kin lak dis. Come y-open da gett, lil gal. 'Tis full me up wit' sorry wun you do lak dis.'

“Lil gal, 'e no say nuttin'. B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘'E berry bad fer treat you' kin lak dis. Tu'n go da gett, lil gal.' Lil gal say:

“ ‘How you is kin wit' me, B'er Rabbit?'

“ ‘You' gran'daddy foller at' me nuncle wit' 'e dog. Da mek we is kin. Come y-open da gett, lil gal.' ”

“Dat ole Rabbit wuz a-talkin', mon!” exclaimed Aunt Tempy, enthusiastically.

“Lil gal no say nuttin' 'tall!” Daddy Jack went on, with renewed animation. “Dun B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘See me long, sha'p toof, lil gal? Me bite-a you troo un troo.' Lil gal say:

“ ‘Me no skeer da toof. 'E bite nuttin' 'tall 'cep' 'e bite grass.' B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘See me big y-eye? I pop um at you, shoot-a you dead.' Lil gal say:

“ ‘Me no skeer da y-eye. 'E sem lak turrer folk y-eye.' B'er Rabbit say: