Nights with Uncle Remus (37 page)

“ ‘Please, somebody, do run yer!'

“Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n stan' on th'ee legs fer to make sho er gittin' a good start ef day 'uz any needs un it, en he holler back:

“ ‘Wharbouts is you, en how come you dar?'

“ ‘Do please, somebody, run yer en he'p a po' mizerbul creetur. I'm down yere in de big gully und' dish yer great big rock.'

“Ole Brer Rabbit bleedz ter be mighty 'tickler in dem days, en he crope down ter de big gully en look in, en who de name er goodness you speck he seed down dar?”

Uncle Remus paused and gave the little boy a look of triumph, and then proceeded without waiting for a reply:

“Nobody in de roun' worl' but dat ar ole Brer Wolf w'at Brer Rabbit done bin scalted de week 'fo' dat. He 'uz layin' down dar in de big gully, en bless gracious! 'pun top un 'im wuz a great big rock, en ef you want ter know de reason dat ar great big rock aint teetotally kilt Brer Wolf, den you'll hatter ax some un w'at know mo' 'bout it dan w'at I does, kaze hit look lak ter me dat it des oughter mash 'im flat.

“Yit dar he wuz, en let 'lone bein' kilt, he got strenk nuff lef' fer ter make folks year 'im holler a mile off, en he holler so lonesome dat it make Brer Rabbit feel mighty sorry, en no sooner is he feel sorry dan he hol' he coattails out de way en slid down de bank fer ter see w'at he kin do.

“W'en he git down dar Brer Wolf ax 'im please, sir, kin he he'p 'im de removance er dat ar rock, en Brer Rabbit 'low he speck he kin; en wid dat Brer Wolf holler en tell 'im fer mussy sake won't he whirl in en do it, w'ich Brer Rabbit tuck'n ketch holt er de rock en hump, hisse'f, en 'twant long 'fo' he git a purchis on it, en bless yo' soul, he lif' 'er up des lak nigger at de log-rollin'.

“Hit tu'n out dat Brer Wolf aint hurted much, en w'en he fine dis out, he tuck'n tuck a notion dat ef he ev' gwin git he revengeance out'n Brer Rabbit, right den waz de time, en no sooner does dat come 'cross his min' dan he tuck'n grab Brer Rabbit by de nap er de neck en de small er de back.

“Brer Rabbit he kick en squeal, but 'taint do no manner er good, kaze de mo' w'at he kick de mo' tighter Brer Wolf clamp 'im, w'ich he squoze 'im so hard dat Brer Rabbit wuz feard he 'uz gwine ter cut off he breff. Brer Rabbit, he 'low:

“ ‘Well, den, Brer Wolf! Is dish yer de way you thanks folks fer savin' yo' life?'

“Brer Wolf grin big, en den he up'n 'low:

“‘I'll thank you, Brer Rabbit, en den I'll make fresh meat out'n you.'

“Brer Rabbit 'low, he did:

“ ‘Ef you talk dat away, Brer Wolf, I never is to do you n'er good turn w'iles I live.'

“Brer Wolf, he grin and some mo' en 'low:

“ ‘Dat you won't, Brer Rabbit, dat you won't! You won't do me no mo' good turn tell you er done dead.'

“Brer Rabbit, he sorter study ter hisse'f, he did, en den he 'low:

“ ‘Whar I come fum, Brer Wolf, hit's agin' de law fer folks fer to kill dem w'at done done um a good turn, en I speck hits de law right 'roun' yer.'

“Brer Wolf say he aint so mighty sho' 'bout dat. Brer Rabbit say he willin' fer ter lef' de whole case wid Brer Tarrypin, en Brer Wolf say he 'gree'ble.

“Wid dat, dey put out, dey did, en make der way ter whar ole Brer Tarrypin stay, en w'en dey git dar, Brer Wolf he tuck'n tell he side, en den Brer Rabbit he tuck'n tell he side. Ole Brer Tarrypin put on he specks en cle'r up he th'oat, en den he 'low:

“ ‘Deys a mighty heap er mixness in dish yer 'spute, en 'fo' I kin take any sides you'll des hatter kyar me fer ter see de place wharbouts Brer Wolf wuz w'en Brer Rabbit foun' 'im,' sezee.

“Sho nuff, dey tuck'n kyar'd ole Brer Tarrypin down de big road twel dey come ter de big gully, en den day tuck 'im ter whar Brer Wolf got kotch und' de big rock. Ole Brer Tarrypin he walk 'roun', he did, en poke at de place wid de een' er he cane. Bimeby he shuck he head, he did, en 'low:

“ ‘I hates might'ly fer ter put you all gents ter so much trouble; yit, dey aint no two ways, I'll hatter see des how Brer Wolf was kotch, en des how de rock wuz layin' 'pun top un 'im,' sezee. ‘De older folks gits, de mo' trouble dey is,' sezee, ‘en I aint' 'nyin' but w'at I'm a ripenin' mo' samer dan a 'simmon w'at's bin strucken wid de fros',' sezee.

“Den Brer Wolf, he tuck'n lay down whar he wuz w'en Brer Rabbit foun' 'im, en de yuthers dey up'n roll de rock 'pun top un 'im. Dey roll de rock 'pun 'im,” continued Uncle Remus, looking over his spectacles to see what effect the statement had on the little boy, “en dar he wuz. Brer Tarrypin, he walk all 'roun' en 'roun', en look at 'im. Den he sot down, he did, en make marks in de san' wid he cane lak he studyin' 'bout sump'n n'er. Bimeby, Brer Wolf, he open up:

“ ‘Ow, Brer Tarrypin! Dish yer rock gittin' mighty heavy!'

“Brer Tarrypin, he mark in de san', en study, en study. Brer Wolf holler:

“ ‘Ow, Brer Tarrypin! Dish yer rock mashin' de breff out'n me.'

“Brer Tarrypin, he r'ar back, he did, en he 'low, sezee:

“ ‘Brer Rabbit, you wuz in de wrong. You aint had no business fer ter come bodderin' 'longer Brer Wolf w'en he aint bodderin' 'longer you. He 'uz 'ten'in' ter he own business en you oughter bin 'ten'in' ter yone.'

“Dis make Brer Rabbit look 'shame' er hisse'f, but Brer Tarrypin talk right erlong:

“ ‘W'en you 'uz gwine down dish yer road dis mawnin', you sho'ly mus' bin a gwine som'ers. Ef you
wuz
gwine som'ers you better be gwine on. Brer Wolf, he wa'n't gwine nowhars den, en he aint gwine nowhars now. You foun' 'im und' dat ar rock, en und' dat ar rock you lef' 'im.'

“En, bless gracious!” exclaimed Uncle Remus, “dem ar creeturs racked off fum dar en lef' ole Brer Wolf und' dar ar rock.”

XLVII

“I wonder where Daddy Jack is,” said the little boy, one night after he had been waiting for some time for Uncle Remus to get leisure to tell him a story.

Uncle Remus, who was delightfully human in his hypocrisy, as well as in other directions, leaned back in his chair, looked at the little boy with an air of grieved resignation, and said:

“I boun' you does, honey, I boun' you does. Ole Brer Jack look mighty weazly ter de naked eye, but I lay he's a lots mo' likelier nigger dan w'at ole Remus is. De time done gone by w'en a po' ole no-'count nigger lak me kin hol' he han' wid a bran new nigger man lak Brer Jack.”

The child stared at Uncle Remus with open-eyed astonishment.

“Now, Uncle Remus! I didn't mean that; you know I didn't” he exclaimed.

“Bless yo' heart, honey! hit don't pester me. I done got de speunce un it. Dat I is. Plough-hoss don't squeal en kick w'en dey puts n'er hoss in he place. Brer Jack got de age on 'im but he new ter you. Ole er young, folks is folks, en no longer 'n day 'fo' yistiddy, I year you braggin' 'bout how de vittles w'at dey feeds you on up at de big house aint good ez de vittles w'at yuther childun gits. Nummine ole Remus, honey; you en Brer Jack des go right erlong en I'll be much 'blige ef you'll des lemme set in de cornder yer en chunk de fier. Sho'ly I aint pas' doin' dat.”

The child was troubled to think that Uncle Remus should find it necessary to depreciate himself, and made haste to explain his position.

“I thought that if Daddy Jack was here he could tell me a story while you were working, so you wouldn't be bothered.”

A broad grin of appreciation spread over Uncle Remus's face. He adjusted his spectacles, looked around and behind him, and then, seeing no one but the child, addressed himself to the rafters and cobwebs:

“Well! well! well! ef dish yer don't beat all! Gentermens! dish yer little chap yer, he puny in de legs, yit he mighty strong in de head.”

He paused, as if reflecting over the whole matter, and then turned to the child:

“Is
dat
w'at make you hone atter Daddy Jack, honey—dez kaze you wanter set back dar en lissen at a tale? Now, den, ef you hadn't a got me off'n de track, you'd a bin settin' yer lis'-nen at one un um dis blessid minnit, kaze des time I year talk dat Mars. John gwine ter have dat ar long-hornded steer kilt fer beef, hit come 'cross my min' 'bout de time w'ence Brer Rabbit en Brer Fox jined in wid one er n'er en kilt a cow.”

“Killed a cow, Uncle Remus?”

“Des ez sho' ez youer settin' dar,” replied the old man with emphasis. “Look lak dey want no kinder doin's w'at dem ar creeturs want up ter, mo' spechually ole Brer Rabbit. Day in en day out, fum mawnin' twel night en fum night twel mawnin', he 'uz constant a studyin' up some bran new kinder contrapshun fer ter let de yuther creeturs know he 'uz some'rs in de neighborhoods.

“Come down ter dat, you kin b'leeve me er not b'leeve me, dez ez you er min' ter; you kin take yo' choosement; but ole Brer Rabbit en ole Brer Fox, spite er day fallin' out, dey tuck'n go inter cahoots en kilt a cow. Seem lak I disremember who de cow b'long ter,” continued the old man, frowning thoughtfully, and thus, by a single stroke, imparting an air of reality to the story; “but she sho'ly b'long'd ter some er de neighbors, kaze you kin des put it down, right pine-blank, dat Brer Rabbit aint gwine ter kill he own cow, en needer is Brer Fox.

“Well, den, dey tuck'n kilt a cow, en 'twan't dey own cow, en atter dey done skunt 'er Brer Rabbit, he up'n 'low, he did, dat ef Brer Fox wanter git de good er de game, he better run home en fetch a tray er sump'n fer put de jiblets in.”

“Jiblets, Uncle Remus?”

“Tooby sho', honey. Dats w'at we-all calls de liver, de lights, de heart, en de melt. Some calls um jiblets en some calls um hasletts, but ef you'll lemme take um en kyar' um home, you kin des up en call um mos' by any name w'at creept inter yo' min'. You do de namin',” the old man went on, smacking his lips suggestively, “en I'll do de eatin', en ef I'm de loser, I boun' you won't year no complaints fum me.

“But, law bless me! w'at is I'm a doin'? De time's a passin', en I'm aint skacely got start on de tale. Dey kilt de cow, dey did, en Brer Rabbit tell Brer Fox 'bout de jiblets, en w'iles Brer Fox gwine on home atter de bucket fer ter put um in, he say ter hisse'f dat Brer Rabbit aint bad ez he crackt up ter be. But no sooner is Brer Fox outer sight dan Brer Rabbit cut out de jiblets, he did, en kyar'd um off en hide um. Den he come back en tuck a piece er de meat en drap blood 'way off de udder way. Bimeby yer come Brer Fox wid he buket, en w'en he git dar Brer Rabbit wuz settin' down cryin'. Mon, he uz des a boo-hooin'. Brer Fox, he 'low:

“ ‘Name er goodness, Brer Rabbit! w'at de marter?'

“ ‘Nuff de marter—nuff de marter. I wish you'd a stayed yer w'iles you wuz yer—dat I does, Brer Fox!'

“ ‘How come, Brer Rabbit,—how come?'

“ ‘Man come, Brer Fox, en stole all yo' nice jiblets. I bin a runnin' atter 'im, Brer Fox, but he outrun me.'

“ ‘W'ich away he go, Brer Rabbit?'

“ ‘Yer de way he went, Brer Fox; yer whar he drap de blood. Ef you be right peart, Brer Fox, you'll ketch 'im.'

“Brer Fox he drapt de bucket, he did, en put out atter de man w'at tuck de jiblets, en he wan't out'n sight good, 'fo' old Brer Rabbit sail in en cut out all de fat en taller, en kyar' it off en hide it. Atter w'ile, yer come Brer Fox back des a puffin' en a pantin'. He aint see no man. Brer Rabbit, he hail 'im:

“ ‘You aint come a minnit too soon, Brer Fox, dat you aint. W'iles you bin gone n'er man come 'long en kyar'd off all de taller en fat. He went right off dat away, Brer Fox, en ef you'll be right peart, you'll ketch 'im.'

“Brer Fox, he tuck'n put out, he did, en run, en run, yit he aint see no man. W'iles he done gone Brer Rabbit kyar off one er de behime quarters. Brer Fox come back; he aint see no man. Brer Rabbit holler en tell 'im dat ne'r man done come en got a behime quarter en run'd off wid it.

“Brer Fox sorter study 'bout dis, kaze it look lak nobody yuver see de like er mens folks passin' by dat one lonesome cow. He make out he gwine ter run atter de man w'at steal de behime quarter, but he aint git fur 'fo' he tuck'n tu'n 'roun' en crope back, en he 'uz des in time fer ter see Brer Rabbit makin' off wid de yuther behime quarter. Brer Fox migthy tired wid runnin' hether en yan, en backards en forrerds, but he git so mad w'en he see Brer Rabbit gwine off dat a way, dat he dash up en ax 'im whar is he gwine wid dat ar beef.

“Brer Rabbit lay de beef down, he did, en look lak he feelin's hurted. He look at Brer Fox he feel mighty sorry fer folks w'at kin ax foolish questions lak dat. He shake he head, he did, an 'low:

“ ‘Well, well, well! Who'd a thunk dat Brer Fox would a come axin' me 'bout dish yer beef, w'ich anybody would er know'd I 'uz a kyar'n off fer ter save fer 'im, so nobody couldn't get it?'

“But dish yer kinder talk don't suit Brer Fox, en he tuck'n make a motion 'zef
⁸⁵
ter ketch Brer Rabbit, but Brer Rabbit he 'gun 'im leg bail, en dar dey had it thoo de woods twel Brer Rabbit come 'pon a holler tree, en inter dat he went, des lak one er deze streaked lizzuds goes inter a hole in de san'.”

“And then,” said the little boy, as Uncle Remus paused, “along came Brother Buzzard, and Brother Fox set him to watch the hole, and Brother Rabbit said he had found a fat squirrel which he would run out on the other side; and then he came out and ran home.
”