No Greater Love (6 page)

Andrews’s conclusions were far from cheering. There was no way around it, with five of her compartments filled with water, the
Titanic
could not stay afloat for long. The unsinkable ship was sinking. They thought they could keep her afloat for a while, but no one could be sure how long, and as Bertram Winfield went back to bed, he thought for just an instant that the floor beneath his feet was listing slightly, but he was certain he was mistaken.

And five minutes after midnight, at Thomas Andrews’s urging, Captain Smith looked at the officers on the bridge and told them to uncover the lifeboats. There had been no lifeboat drill until then, no practice, no warnings, no preparation. This was the ship that could not sink, the ship they would never have to worry about, and now all the first-class stewards were knocking on doors, and in an instant Bert was back in the room. He had heard the voices the minute Charles opened the door to the parlor, but he couldn’t hear the words. And now he heard them all too clearly. The steward was smiling, and speaking to them gently, as though they were all children and he wanted them to listen to him,
but he didn’t want them to be startled or frightened. Yet it was obvious, too, that he wanted them to do as they were told, and quickly.

“Everyone up on deck, with life belts on. Right now!” There were no bells, no sirens, no general alarm. In fact, the silence was eerie, but the look in the steward’s eyes said that he meant it, and Edwina could feel herself move into another gear, the way she did when one of the children was hurt, and she suddenly knew that she had to move quickly to give her mother a hand with the others.

“Do I have time to change?” Edwina asked the steward before he moved on to the next room, but he only shook his head and tossed the words back over his shoulder.

“I don’t think so. Just stay as you are, and put your life belt on. It’ll help keep you warm. Just a precaution, but you must go up now.” He was gone then, and for a fraction of a moment she looked at Charles and he squeezed her hand, as her father went to wake her mother and the children. Oona was back by then, but like Kate and the children, she was fast asleep in her cabin.

“I’ll help you get the children up,” Charles offered, and went to Phillip and George, got their life belts out for them, and urged them to hurry, while attempting not to frighten them too much, but it was difficult not to. Only George thought it sounded like good fun, but poor Phillip looked terribly worried as he slipped the life belt over his clothes and Charles showed him how to work it.

Edwina woke Alexis up first, with a gentle shake, and a quick kiss, and then she simply lifted Fannie from her bed, and gently shook Oona’s arm, but the girl was looking wild-eyed as Edwina tried to explain to her what had happened, without panicking the children.

“Where’s Mama?” Alexis looked terrified, and she
ran back to bed as Edwina told Oona to get Teddy, and just then Kate came out of their bedroom, pulling her dressing gown over her nightgown, looking sleepy but composed, and Alexis flew into her arms with a vengeance.

“What’s going on?” Kate looked confused as her eyes went from her husband to her daughter, and then to Charles. “Did I miss something rather crucial while I was asleep?” She felt as though she’d woken in the middle of a drama and she had no idea what it was that had happened.

“I’m not sure.” Bertram was honest with her. “All I know is that we’ve hit some ice, they claim it’s not serious, or at least that was what they told Charles half an hour ago, but now they want us all up on deck, in life vests, at our lifeboat stations.”

“I see.” Kate was already looking around the room, and glanced at Edwina’s feet as she did. She was wearing gossamer-thin silver sandals with delicate heels, and her feet would have been frozen in less than five minutes on deck. “Edwina, change your shoes. Oona, put your coat on, and put the life vests on Fannie and Teddy at once.” But Charles was already helping her, as Bertram went to put trousers over his pajamas and exchange his slippers for socks and shoes. He put on a sweater that he had brought and not yet worn, and then put on his coat and his life vest, and he brought a warm wool dress to Kate in the room where she was helping Alexis dress, and as he did, he was suddenly aware that the floor beneath his feet was now sloping more acutely, and for the first time since he’d woken up, he was secretly frightened.

“Come on, children, hurry up,” he said, trying to appear confident when he wasn’t. Phillip and George were set. Edwina had brogues and her own coat on now, over her blue satin evening dress, and Charles had successfully
helped her get clothes and life vests on Fannie and Teddy and Alexis. Only Oona was running around in bare feet and her nightgown. And Kate was pulling the heavy traveling dress Bert had handed her over her dressing gown, as she stepped into walking shoes, and then struggled into her fur coat.

“You have to dress,” Edwina hissed at Oona, not wanting to frighten the children more than they were, but wanting to impress on her the importance of the situation.

“Oh, Alice … I must go to my cousin Alice, and little Mary …” She was half crying and wringing her hands as she ran around the cabin.

“You’ll do no such thing, Oona Ryan. You’ll put your clothes on and come with us,” Kate snapped. She was still holding Alexis by the hand, and although the child was terrified, she was no longer protesting. She knew she would be fine, as long as she was with her mother and father. They were all ready, except for Oona, who was suddenly too frightened to join them.

“I can’t swim … I can’t swim …” she cried.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Kate grabbed her arm, and motioned to Edwina to start out with the others. “You don’t need to swim, Oona. All you have to do is come with me. We’re going upstairs in a moment. But first you are going to put your dress on.” She put a wool dress of her own over the girl’s head then, knelt at her feet and helped her slip on shoes, put one of her own coats over the girl’s shoulders, grabbed a life vest, and within a matter of minutes they were just behind the others. But now the corridors were crowded with people heading for the decks, in equally peculiar outfits, with life vests and worried faces, although some laughed and said they thought it was all very foolish. It was twelve-fifteen by then, and Wireless Operator Phillips was making his first call for help, as the water level below decks rose
rapidly higher, and much faster than Captain Smith had expected. After all, it was only half an hour since they’d hit the berg. But the squash court was filled to the ceiling by then, and Fred Wright, the squash pro, said nothing of it to young Phillip when he saw him on the way to the lifeboats.

“Should I have taken any of my jewelry with me?” Kate suddenly asked Bert worriedly. It was the first time she had even thought of it, and she didn’t want to go back now. She had worn only her wedding ring, and it was all she really cared about or wanted.

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. “I’ll buy you some new baubles if you … misplace these….” He didn’t want to say “lose,” for fear of what that implied. He was suddenly terrified of what was going to happen to his wife and their children. They went all the way up to the Boat Deck, and when Bert glanced into the gym, he could see John Jacob Astor and his wife, sitting quietly on the mechanical horses. He wanted her out of the cold, for fear that being frightened and cold might cause her to lose the baby. They were both wearing life vests, and he had a third one across his lap, and as they talked, he was playing with his penknife. The Winfields walked on past the gym then, and they came out on the port side, where the crew were uncovering eight wooden lifeboats as the band started to play. There were another eight being uncovered on the starboard side as well, four toward the bow, four toward the stern, and there were also four canvas collapsible lifeboats. It was not a cheering sight, and as Bert watched them prepare the boats, he could feel his heart pound as he held his wife’s hand tightly in his own. She was holding Fannie in one arm, and Alexis was standing as close to her as she could, while Phillip carried little Teddy. They stood closely huddled together in the cold, unable to believe that on this vast, indomitable
ship they were actually uncovering the lifeboats and standing there in the middle of the night waiting to load them. There were murmured voices in the crowd, and a moment later, Kate saw Phillip talking to a boy he had befriended at the beginning of the trip. His name was Jack Thayer and he was from Philadelphia. His parents had been to a dinner party that night given by the Wideners, also of Philadelphia, for the captain. But Jack hadn’t joined them, and he was talking to Phillip now, the two boys smiled for a moment, and then Jack moved toward another group, still looking for his parents. Kate saw the Allisons of Montreal, as well, with little Lorraine clutching her mother’s hand and her beloved dolly. They were hanging back from the others, with Mrs. Allison holding tightly to her husband’s arm, and the governess holding the little boy in her arms, bundled up in a blanket, to protect him from the icy air of the North Atlantic.

Second Officer Lightoller was in charge of loading the lifeboats on the port side, and everywhere around him there was polite confusion. There had never been a lifeboat drill, nor were there lifeboat assignments for anyone but the crew, and even they weren’t quite sure of where they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to be doing. Small groups of men were uncovering each of the lifeboats at random, and tossing in lanterns and tins of biscuits, but the crowds were still holding back as crewmen moved to the davits and began turning the cranks that swung the lifeboats out and then lowered them to where they could be boarded by the extremely hesitant group that stood and watched them. The band was playing ragtime, and Alexis began to cry then, but Kate was holding tightly to her hand and stooped to remind her that at this very moment, it was already her birthday, and later that day there would be presents, and perhaps even a cake.

“And later today, when we’re all safely back on the ship, you’ll have a very beautiful birthday.” Kate settled Fannie on her hip again, and pulled Alexis closer to her, as she glanced at her husband. He was trying to listen to what was being said in the groups around them, to see if anyone had any information he hadn’t yet heard. But no one seemed to know what was going on, except that they were actually going to load the lifeboats, women and children first, and no men whatsoever at this time. Just then, the band began to play even louder and Kate smiled at all of them, belying the terror that was beginning to gnaw at her as she looked at the lifeboats. “Nothing can be very wrong, or the band wouldn’t be playing such pretty music, would they?” She exchanged a long look with Bertram then, and knew that he was frightened too, but there was very little that they could say now with their children all around them. And everything seemed to be happening so quickly.

Edwina was standing close to Charles, and he was chatting with a few young men. She and Charles were holding hands in the chill night air. She had forgotten to bring gloves, and he was trying to warm her icy fingers by holding them in his own. They called out for the women and children then, and everyone seemed to hang back as Second Officer Lightoller told them to step forward quickly. No one could bring themselves to believe that there was really any danger. A number of women seemed to hesitate, and then their husbands took charge. Messrs. Kenyon, Pears, and Wick led their wives forward and assisted them in, as the wives begged them not to make them go without them.

“Don’t be foolish, ladies,” someone’s husband said for all to hear, “we’ll all be back on the ship in time for breakfast. Whatever the trouble is, they’ll have sorted it out by then, and think of the adventure you’ll have had.” He sounded so jovial that some laughed, and a
few more women timidly stepped forward. Many of them brought their maids with them, but the husbands were clearly told to stand back. They were loading women and children only. Lightoller would tolerate no man’s even thinking of getting into a lifeboat. Despite the women’s protests that their husbands could help row, Lightoller was having none of it. It was women and children
only.
And as he said the words again, Oona looked at Kate suddenly and started to cry.

“I can’t, ma’am … I can’t … I can’t swim … and Alice … and Mary …” She began to back away from them, and Kate saw that she was going to start running. She moved away from Alexis briefly then, and tried to comfort Oona as she walked calmly toward her, but suddenly with a great shriek she was gone, running as fast as she could, down into the bowels of the ship, to find the door through which she had previously passed to enter steerage to visit her cousin and her little girl.

“Shall I go after her?” Phillip asked his mother with worried eyes as she walked back to where the children stood, and Kate looked anxiously up at Bertram. Little Fannie was whimpering by then, and Edwina was now holding baby Teddy in her arms. But Bertram didn’t want any of them running after Oona. If she was foolish enough to run back, she would have to board a lifeboat on another part of the ship and rejoin them later. He didn’t want any of them getting lost, it was imperative that they all stay together.

Kate hesitated, and then turned to him. “Can’t we wait? I don’t want to leave you. Perhaps if we wait, they’ll call the whole thing off, and we won’t have to put the children through all this for nothing.” But as she spoke, the deck slanted even farther, and Bertram knew that this was no longer an exercise. This was serious, and any delay on their part might be fatal. What he
didn’t know was that on the bridge, Thomas Andrews had informed Captain Smith that they had little more than an hour or so to stay afloat, and there were lifeboats for less than half the people on board the ship. Frantic efforts were being made to reach the
Californian
, only ten miles away, but she couldn’t be roused, despite the radio operator’s frantic efforts.

“I want you to go now, Kate.” Bert said the words quietly, and she looked into her husband’s eyes and was frightened by what she saw there. She saw that he was worried and afraid, more afraid than she had ever seen him. And with that, she instinctively turned to look for Alexis, who had been next to her only a moment before. For once, she wasn’t buried in her mother’s skirts, and Kate had let go of her hand when she had hurried after Oona. But now as Kate turned to look, Alexis wasn’t there. Kate turned around several times, glanced around in the crowd, and looked over at Edwina to see if she was with her, but Edwina was quietly talking to Charles, while George stood by looking tired and cold and less excited than he had half an hour before. But he cheered up visibly as an explosion of rockets flew up high into the air, lighting the night sky all around them. It was 12:45 by then, barely more than an hour after they’d hit the iceberg that everyone had said couldn’t harm them.