No Longer Mine (10 page)

Dear God. She looked so much like Jason. Nikki could feel the razors slicing into her heart and she wondered how it was possible none of it showed.

“This is important,” Abby said, sounding very adult. “Dad will understand. Now, why don’t you like him?”

“Are you sure you’re only four years old?” Nikki asked, buying time while she struggled to come up with an answer that wouldn’t be a lie, but wouldn’t make this precocious little girl upset.

“I’ll be five in April.”

“Ah. That explains it,” Nikki said sagely, nodding her head. Never mind that April was months away.

Unable to resist the urge to touch, she reached out and stroked her hand down Abby’s raven black hair, soft and thick. “Honey, it’s not that I don’t like your dad. But we’ve had some problems in the past and it kind of hurts for me to be around him.”

Would she understand that? Nikki wondered.

Solemnly, the little girl nodded. “That’s what he said. But you know, when somebody hurts you it helps if you let them say they are sorry. Did he hurt you?”

“A little,” Nikki said, her smile weak and shaky.
That’s the understatement of the century.

With a bright, happy grin, Abby said, “Then just let him say he’s sorry and things will be better. I know he’s sorry, otherwise he wouldn’t look so sad when he sees you.” Nikki wasn’t able to answer for just then, Wade swooped down out of the crowd, snagging his daughter and catching her in a tight hug. “Abby Lightfoot, what were you thinking running off like that?” he demanded, his eyes closed tight.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Abby said, twisting away until her father released his death grip and saw Nikki standing there.

“Thanks for watching her, Nikki,” he said gruffly, transferring her to his left arm.

Nikki shrugged. “She sort of found me, Wade.” As quickly as she could, she averted her eyes, ready to escape into the crowd.

“Don’t you ever take off like that, little girl. That’s just asking for all sorts of bad things,” Wade said, looking from Nikki to his daughter.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. Please don’t be mad. It was real important,” Abby said softly, her eyes sober, her mouth pursed in a pout.

Nikki watched as Wade fought not to melt under those sweetly spoken words and Abby’s face properly solemn and chastised, utterly repentant.

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No Longer Mine

Nikki knew without a doubt that should something else “important” come up, the little girl would do just as she had. Would Jason have been like this? Sweet and stubborn, determined to get his way?

Turning away, Nikki started to find someplace else to watch the parade, only to have Wade snag her arm. She looked up and met his eyes without speaking.

“Why don’t you watch the parade with us?” he asked, his dark eyes caressing her face. His hand was warm on her arm, and despite the heat of the day she felt goose bumps rising, felt her pulse kicking up a notch or two.

“I don’t—”

“Dad, I think you need to say you’re sorry first,” Abby interrupted before Nikki was able to make good her escape. “After you say you’re sorry, you can be friends again. Then she can watch the parade with us.”

“Is that right?” Wade asked, studying his daughter’s face. “Are you sure that’s how it works?” All the while, as he talked with his daughter, he drew Nikki closer, his hand cupped around her elbow.

“Of course it is. Now say you’re sorry. That’s all she’s waiting for,” Abby stated, a very adult look on her little face. For all the world, she looked like a kindergarten teacher correcting two unruly students.

Wade turned his eyes back to Nikki, smiling slightly. “I am sorry, Nikki. I thought you already knew that,” he said quietly.

“See, now wasn’t that easy?” Abby asked, squirming until her father set her down. Then she grabbed Wade’s hand in one hand, Nikki’s in the other, and pulled them closer to the front of the crowd. “I knew that would help.”

Nikki stood next to the little girl, a frozen smile on her face.

Just walk away
, she told herself.
Just take your hand back and walk away.

But she couldn’t find it in her heart to wipe that happy smile off Abby’s face.

The hot summer sun beat down on her bare shoulders and arms but did nothing to warm her. Her scoop-neck tank top and cut-off denims had been comfortable earlier, but now she wished for sackcloth, a sweater, turtleneck and jeans, anything to warm her chilled flesh.

What was she doing here? She was watching a Fourth of July parade with the man who’d cheated on her.

She was insane, absolutely insane, just begging for punishment.

With one eye on the clock, the other on the parade, she prayed for it to end quickly.

Wade wasn’t certain what had prompted Abby to go seek out Nikki, but he was damn glad of it. She was standing less than two feet away, and though Nikki had yet to say a damn thing without being prompted, she hadn’t taken off in the other direction. Yet.

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55

Shiloh Walker

Something told him she was just biding time. His instincts proved right when he caught her eyes dart to the clock in the square for the second time in only minutes.

He shifted until he was standing more behind Abby and Nikki than beside them. One hand rested on his daughter’s shoulder as she leaned against Nikki’s side, laughing at the clowns and squealing at the floats that went past. He kept his other hand fisted in his pocket to keep from wrapping it around Nikki’s waist.

A gentle breeze fluttered her hair around her face. She’d cut her hair, those gleaming chestnut strands were cropped to chin length and even curlier than before. Again, her glasses were missing. She wore no jewelry, no make-up, and her nails were ruthlessly short. Her soft mouth was set in a firm line, her solemn eyes were fastened on the parade and she looked neither up nor down the street.

She could have been standing before a firing squad with all the pleasure she showed.

Nikki didn’t want to be here. Wade knew that as well as he knew his own name. She was here though.

That was something, right? Closing his eyes, he inhaled, dragging the scent of her skin into his lungs, heating up blood that already pumped hot. His eyes fastened on the soft skin of her neck and shoulders, bared by the tank top she wore. If he put his mouth on her there, where her neck and shoulders joined, would it still make her gasp?

If he rubbed gently, would it still make her sigh with pleasure?

“—fireworks with us?”

Wade snapped his head around, looking down at his daughter. Abby was tugging on his pants with one hand, the other holding tightly onto Nikki’s, as though she too feared Nikki would disappear into the crowd the moment she had the chance.

“Sorry, baby. I didn’t hear you.”

“I want to know if Nikki can watch the fireworks with us,” she repeated patiently.

He looked up to find Nikki staring straight ahead, her eyes blank. “She’s welcome to if she wants,” he said quietly, already knowing what her answer would be.

“I can’t. I promised my family I would come by after the parade,” Nikki said, giving Abby a half-hearted smile. “Let’s just finish watching the parade together, okay?” Wade sighed as Abby looked away, her face fallen. He picked her up and settled her on his hip.

“Maybe next time, brat,” he whispered in her ear and nuzzled her neck. “Okay?” Nikki said nothing. Hell, the way she stared at the spectacle on the street you’d think she was utterly fascinated by the damn parade. Wade knew damn well though that she wanted nothing more than to get the hell away from him.

For the next thirty minutes she ignored him. Except for her brief answers to Abby, Nikki might as well have not even stood there. She kept her eyes straight ahead, not once looking over at him. Wade knew, for he didn’t take his eyes off her.

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No Longer Mine

Frustrated, he wondered how much longer she would persist in ignoring him or running away. How could she ignore him when the very thought of her was enough to set his blood afire? When just being near her managed to make him feel both achingly empty and oddly complete at the same time?

Damnation, he had missed her.

He wanted her back.

Wade hadn’t expected her to continue to ignore him for as long as she had. She wasn’t even willing for them to just be on friendly terms. She had made that abundantly clear.

How long would she keep this up?

Nikki jumped involuntarily when a hand settled on the curve of her hip. Stiffening, she tried to move away, but the crowd had gotten a little too close.

She aimed a quelling glare up at Wade, only to find him talking to Abby. All around the crowd talked, music played, children laughed. The noise buzzed in her ears, but she heard none of it.

A tiny shudder raced up her spine as his thumb moved up and down. On bare skin. The bottom of her top barely touched the waistband of her shorts and now his hand was kneading her naked flesh. Long, clever fingers played over her waist while she tried hard to ignore it.

She wasn’t succeeding. Her stomach felt warm and jittery. Her heart pounded harder. Her skin felt far too tight, hot and prickly.

Damn it, how much longer until this thing’s over?
she thought wildly as her insides continued to do a slow meltdown.

Her shoulders ached with the effort to keep tension in her body, to keep from relaxing against him. It would be so easy just to let her head fall back against his shoulder, let him wrap her in his arms.

Why was he doing his? Hadn’t she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him? Why was she still standing here? Abby no longer held her hand in a death grip, wasn’t looking at her every few seconds as if to say,
Isn’t this fun?
Nikki could have left several minutes ago, so why she was torturing herself?

She stood frozen as Wade shifted until he was standing just behind her and slightly to her right. That hand slid around her middle and exerted enough pressure to pull her flush against him. The heat of him was enough to brand her flesh.

Her eyes closed as Wade leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You don’t want to stay away from me any more than I want you to. Don’t keep running away, baby.”

“Stop it,” she bit off, her own whisper harsh.

“Stop what? Stop dreaming about you? Loving you? Can you stop thinking about me? Is it really that easy for you?” he asked in a low voice, nuzzling her ear gently.

Her eyes flew open as Wade’s hand slid under her shirt again, now caressing her midriff with agile, knowing fingers. She grabbed his hand, stilled it with her own and slipped away from him.

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57

Shiloh Walker

“The parade’s over,” she said, her voice hoarse, heart pounding. Her palms were damp and her hands were shaking. And he had hardly touched her.

She shot a strained smile to Abby. “I’ve got to run, sweetheart,” she said, then, unable to resist, she tousled the girl’s silky black hair. Without another look at Wade she lost herself in the crowd.

Nikki sat silently on the deck while her father cooked steaks on the grill. A lukewarm can of soda sat untouched next to her while she tried to figure out exactly what she was going to do about Wade.

He wasn’t taking the hint very well, but that was simply because he didn’t want to.

He had decided he was going to get back in her life and that was exactly what he intended to do.

I could go to New York
, she thought, chewing her lip. Kirsten had been nagging her to come up for a visit. But she hated New York. Hell, she could hardly stand to go to Louisville anymore.

Besides, the thought of running away galled her.

So what did she do?

What she had to do was make him understand she wanted nothing to do with him. But how was she going to do that?

He knew, in that way of his, that she wasn’t dating. He figured that left the field wide open for him.

He was going to keep coming around until he wore her down.

So how do I keep him from coming around?

Make him mad. Narrow that field a little bit.

His temper didn’t appear to flare as easy as it used to, but Nikki figured if she got him mad enough, kept him at a distance, she could handle him. She couldn’t handle him coming around coaxing and wooing.

So she just had to figure out a way to piss him off.

An angry Wade was a lot easier for her to handle than one that teased and flirted.

Wade froze in action, his hand hanging limping at his side instead of reaching for his wallet. The teller at the window repeated, “That will be twelve dollars, sir.” Automatically, he paid her, accepted the tickets and moved away. Abby chattered away about the upcoming movie, but for the life of him he couldn’t process anything she said.

Nikki was here with a tall, lanky man he recognized dimly. It was the guy who owned one of the two repair shops in town. That bastard had one tanned, muscular arm wrapped securely around Nikki’s waist as he led her into the theater, head bent low, murmuring into her ear.

Son of a bitch
, he fumed silently as he let Abby tug him through the double glass doors and into the line at the snack bar. What in the hell is she doing with that guy?

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Searching the lobby, Wade’s eyes narrowed as he spotted them in the line next to theirs. He saw red as the guy stroked his hand down Nikki’s cheek…and she
smiled
at the guy, a real smile, one Wade hadn’t seen in years. A smile that had that lone dimple flashing and her eyes crinkling up at the corners.

Was this why she wouldn’t give Wade the time of day?

How in the hell could she do this? Why in the hell would she do this?

Shit, she was dressed up in a killer little dress that left much arm and leg bare, and left very little to the imagination. It was a deep apricot color and it displayed a lithe, toned body and made her skin glow.

Her full mouth was painted the same shade and her eyes were made up to look huge and slumberous. She’d pulled some of her hair up into a loose knot and long sparkling earrings danced and gleamed as she cocked her head to look up at him.