No Love Allowed (Dodge Cove Trilogy #1) (21 page)

“Her father loved her too,” she said harshly. “One bad episode and he left.”

He flinched. “I’d like to think I’m more of a man than your husband was.”

“Sure, you’re confident now. Wait until she spirals again. Let’s see how long you last.”

Then Didi’s words when they were at Coward’s Cliff came back to him. “I can’t see the future, Angela, but I do know one thing. Whether I stay in your daughter’s
life or not should be up to her. Just let me see her.”

“Can’t you see what you’ve put her through?” Angela indicated the paintings with a swipe of her hand.

From where he stood, he turned in a tight circle. “All I see here is beauty. This one”—he pointed at the garden party painting—“is the first event we attended
together. I thought to myself when she arrived in that yellow dress that she was the most beautiful girl there. And this one”—he gestured at the Summer Swing—“was our first
slow dance. If she’ll have me, I plan on more slow dances with her. This one is my favorite.” He crouched down again beside the Fourth of July party painting. “Did you know she
gave me a painting for my birthday? It’s from this day too. It was of the two of us during our first kiss.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

The quiver in her voice gave him hope as he pushed to his feet. “Didi was wrong to stop taking her meds. I get that. Her decision was a dangerous one. I certainly had nothing to do with
it. Had I known about her condition—”

“You would what?” Angela interrupted.

“Maybe I might not have dragged her into my world,” he said honestly. The admission took her aback. “But I cannot change the past. All I can do is ask for a chance to try to
make her happy. You have to at least give me that.”

She crossed her arms. Then she stepped aside, reluctantly creating enough room for him to pass. “You’re right. Ultimately you being in her life is her decision to make.”

With uneven steps, he skirted around the chaos and Angela toward the kitchen. Dishes were piled high in the sink. A mound of clothes sat on the floor beside the washing machine in the small
laundry room. The table was a mess of half-empty Chinese takeout. A stale pizza smell hung in the air.

The door to Didi’s room was ajar when his gaze finally landed there. Gathering what little courage he had left, he opened the door the rest of the way and peered in.
“Didi?”

The mess in the kitchen extended into her room. Clothes littered the floor. Piles and piles of books and magazines ate up what space the clothes and shoes didn’t. And there on the bed lay
a mound covered by several layers of comforters. The whole scene seemed unreal.

“Didi?” he repeated, unable to come closer without stepping on something she owned.

“Go away,” came her muffled reply. The mound shifted with the tugging of the comforters. It seemed like she had curled into an even tighter ball than she already was.

“Didi, I . . .” The walls of his throat closed.

There was a long sigh. Then a tired, weak voice said, “Caleb, whatever you think you’re doing here, don’t. You said this thing between us would end. Didn’t I fulfill my
end of the bargain?”

“Yes, but—”

“Then you should go. There’s nothing here for you.”

“Didi, I—”

“Please,” she interrupted. She paused, then whispered, “Just leave.”

His world threatened to crumble around him at her words. All because he had let love in. He was so sure she felt the same way. The painting she had given him and the paintings in her art room
said so. “D, I’m here for you. Let me be here for you.”

“No.”

Two letters that made up the saddest word in the world. It sounded so much like
go
. It hit him straight where it would hurt most. His heart. Eyes stinging, he backed away from her
room.

Not paying attention, he bumped into the kitchen table and knocked over one of the chairs. Bending quickly, he righted it as the first tear fell. The hopelessness in her voice was what pushed
him to run out of the house, not bothering to acknowledge Angela’s presence beside the open front door.
She must be happy, getting what she wanted
, he thought. Didi didn’t want
him in her life. She didn’t want
him
.

A new wave of hurt assailed Caleb, crushing his insides. The ground no longer felt solid beneath his feet.

Stumbling to his car, he opened the door and sat inside without starting the engine. He let the tears fall, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

Breathing hard, he found himself starting the car and driving until he reached the Parker Estate. Not bothering to remove the key from the ignition, he stepped out and ran all the way to his
room.

Once inside, he paused, fingers combing through his hair. His eyes darted from place to place in search of his luggage, until he remembered where he had left it. He hurried to his closet and
pulled down a suitcase and a backpack, then threw both onto the bed. Then he began yanking shirts and pants from their hangers on the rack. Only the essentials. He figured he could buy whatever he
needed as he and Nathan went along. The most important thing was getting far away from Dodge Cove. Away from—

“Caleb, what is the meaning of this?” JJ asked indignantly, entering his room.

Good. He needed his father to be just as pissed off as he was. “Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“When you had her investigated.” He glared. “Did you know she had bipolar disorder?”

Instead of answering Caleb’s roiling anger with his own, JJ sighed. “Of course I knew.”

“And you didn’t bother telling me sooner?” he roared, barely suppressing the urge to break something. Instead he stuffed shirts into the backpack.

“You ran out of my office before I could. Then the accident happened, and you refused to speak to anyone. . . .”

Caleb gritted his teeth to keep from saying anything more when his father’s words trailed off. Did the man have no paternal instincts left? So what if he hadn’t wanted to speak to
anyone at the time? His father should have pushed his way in. Caleb envied Didi and the love her mother had for her as his fingernails dug into his palm. The pain inside his chest was too much for
him to register anything else.

He bowed his head to keep his father from seeing fresh tears and whispered, “If this is love, I don’t want it.”

“Why are you packing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He left the mess on his bed and moved to his dresser where his passport was. “Nathan and I are leaving for Europe. I’m staying over at his house
until then to finalize our plans.”

“Caleb.”

He shrugged off the hand his father had placed on his shoulder and returned to his packing. “There’s nothing more you can say. I’ve done everything you asked. I’ll see
you in a year.”

DIDI MARKED PASSING
time by her mother venturing into her room for food and meds. She must have been doing it in between jobs,
because this was the most she had seen of her mother in a while. Didi’s latest dark period must have been a doozy if her mom was keeping close watch. She remembered snippets, but most of that
time stretched out in a blur spent in the oblivion of sleep.

Caleb had left. Like he promised he would. Why he had come to her house that day still confused her. For a guy who didn’t believe in love to say that he might be falling in love with her?
His confession the night of the accident had sounded so true it must have been a lie. She’d probably misheard him, because she remembered nothing else afterward . . . not until her mother had
brought her home a groggy mess from all the antipsychotics and antidepressants they had pumped into her system at the hospital. She didn’t ask about the bills, and her mother didn’t say
anything. Didi spent most of her time in a tar pit so black no light could penetrate it.

She pushed her head out of the mound of comforters she had been under. Judging from the smell, she hadn’t showered in a while. Her hair stuck to her scalp in a ratty mess. The nail polish
Natasha had painstakingly applied the night of Caleb’s birthday was chipped in several places. Just like the fantasy. It had been fun while it lasted. Landed her in the psych ward, but it had
been worth it to be a part of that world. She’d eaten great food. She’d worn beautiful dresses. She’d met new, interesting people who had made her think not all of them were rich
pricks and spoiled bitches. Although Amber/Ashley definitely belonged to the fake-bitch side. But that was all over now. Back to her regularly scheduled program.

Caleb’s parting words during one of her more lucid moments in the dark hole came to her as she forced her eyes open.

“I’m here for you,” she mumbled, curling deeper into the dent her body had made in the mattress from not moving out of the fetal position she found most comfortable. She waited
for the nausea that came with staying in bed for an extended period to ease.

The doorbell rang, making her flinch in her cocoon.
Who could it be?
Not Caleb. He didn’t seem like the try-again-after-being-rejected type. A soft shuffling to the door followed
by a muffled conversation. Her mom was home. Shouldn’t she have been at work?

She closed her eyes again as the soft
click
of the front door shutting seemed to echo through the house. Had it always been this quiet? What Didi wouldn’t give for some music.
Then again putting music on meant getting up. Not right now.

The side of her bed dipped as she was about to drift off again. A gentle hand touched her shoulder. Was it time for meds and food already?

“Didi?”

“Hmm?” she moaned.

Her mother sighed. “Don’t you think it’s time to get out of bed? You’ve been camping out in here for too long.”

In response, she burrowed farther into her nook.

The hand on her shoulder rubbed soothing circles over the comforter. “That was Natasha just now.”

Her ears perked up. “Oh?”

“She said you had plans of showing her your paintings? I didn’t know Nathan had a twin. She’s pretty.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, her mouth dry from not speaking. The inside tasted like something had crawled in and died. She cleared her throat. “I was supposed to paint her.”

“Didi.” She sighed again. “You know that all I want is what’s best for you, right?”

Unable to find any comfort from her position anymore, Didi rolled onto her back. Her eyes blinked open until she locked gazes with the woman who had devoted everything to taking care of her.
There were still lines of fatigue on that weathered face, but the purple splotches were gone from beneath her eyes. It seemed she had been catching up on sleep too.

“I know,” Didi said with a nod. “And you were right. I shouldn’t have agreed to Caleb’s proposal. It was one big mess.”

Instead of replying right away, her mom picked up a glass of water from the nightstand. Wanting a sip, Didi pushed up to a seated position. She took the glass with both hands and brought the rim
to her parched lips. A moan escaped her after a grateful gulp of the cool liquid. Water had never tasted so sweet.

“What?” she finally asked when a pensive expression crossed her mother’s face. “Please don’t tell me you were fired for staying home too long.”

She blinked several times before smiling. “No. I’m still employed. I was just thinking . . .”

“Thinking?” Didi prompted, when it seemed like her mother wasn’t going to continue.

“I know you know neglecting to take your meds was reckless. But no matter how wrong I thought your relationship was, I can’t ignore the fact that you were happy. That
he
made you happy. I think I made a mistake in asking him to disappear from your life. And I think you’ll regret it someday if you allow him to leave. I don’t want to deny you the chance
to be with him if that is what you truly want.”

“Mom . . .” Didi’s eyes welled. Was it possible that she had made a mistake by driving him away?

“You should have seen his face when he ran out of here.” Her mother’s lips quirked into a concerned frown. “I’ve never seen someone so broken and defeated. I
honestly think Caleb’s feelings for you are real. The question is: Do you feel the same way?”

The hope in her voice brought Didi back to life like the green grass shooting up from the ground after a long drought ended by rain. “What day is it?”

They both glanced at the desk calendar beside her bed. A red mark circled one of the numbers. During one of their conversations, Caleb had casually mentioned when he would be leaving for his
trip with Nathan. Didi had marked it as a way to remember when their fake relationship would be over. It was today.

“I want to go after him,” she said more to herself. Then she looked into her mother’s eyes. “I don’t want him to leave without knowing that I love him.”

Smiling, her mother took her hands. “I’ll drive you.”

“Really?” Didi’s entire face brightened.

She raised a finger and winked. “But not before you shower first.”

For the entire car ride to the airport, Didi imagined everything that would happen. Like in the movies, she would run out, search for the gate he was leaving from, and make a
mad dash, catching him just as he was boarding. He would see her, drop his bags, and open his arms. She would fly into them and pepper his face with kisses. Then she would lean away and tell him
she loved him and ask him to stay. His gaze would soften, showing her all the love he felt for her, and he’d say yes, that he would stay. They would kiss again, and the crowd would go wild.
Clapping and cheering would drown out the thundering of their hearts.

Unfortunately for her, it wasn’t that cookie-cutter.

They got stuck in midday traffic halfway there.

When her mother finally stopped the car by the entrance, Didi couldn’t wait any longer. She made a mad dash. The doors barely had time to part when she ran through them. Airport security
stopped her before she could go any farther. They’d probably seen her panic and reacted to it. They wouldn’t let her go, even after she’d explained that she was running after the
guy she loved. From the skepticism on their faces, they must have heard that excuse countless times before.