No Regrets (Bomar Boys #1) (9 page)

“No.” He cut her off with a shake of his head, “Just said it was from the tow and to get back with me when he had an estimate. He didn’t ask any more questions than that and he won’t.”

“Are you sure?”

Colt cleared his throat as he moved around them back into the living room, “Not all the cars that go through the garage are on the up-and-up sweetie. Ask the wrong questions and you end up with answers you don’t want to know. It’s the Bomar way. Your car will be fine and nobody’s gonna ask about it.”

“Oh…”

“I’m not part of that side of the business but the anonymity will work in our favor this time.” Cash quickly explained, “Auto won’t ask for your name until the bill comes due and by then you’ll have decided what you want to do.”

“What I want to do?” She was beginning to feel like a parrot, repeating him because she didn’t understand.

“If you’re going to head out of town or if you’re going to stay.”

The hope in his gaze was clear and she sighed. He was right. She didn’t know what she was going to do yet. She’d run home without a single plan or thought towards the future.

But was she staying? Or was this a temporary hiding place? All she’d been thinking when she got in her car was that she needed to get someplace safe, find someone she trusted, and go from there. She’d found Cash but he wasn’t who she’d come for.

“Skylar.”

Colt jerked upright from where he’d only just collapsed on the couch, “What?”

“I still need to get in touch with Skylar.”

“She’s camping with her boyfriend out by the falls this weekend.” Cash explained when Colt looked between them questioningly. “Jemma tried calling her last night but couldn’t reach her. That’s why she stayed here.”

“Yeah, that’s why.” Colt smirked.

Jemma ignored him, “Did you try calling her while you were outside?”

“No. I don’t have her number.” Cash flashed a sarcastic smile, “I wasn’t joking about her not talking to me.”

“Colt just plugged my phone in and it’s still dead. Once it powers up, I’ll try her again.”

“Yeah that’s as good a plan as any.”

“You’re not going to be able to reach her.” Colt spoke up and then shrugged when they both looked at him, “Not on the phone. If she’s at the falls, there’s no service out there. She won’t even get your messages until she gets back on the highway to head home.”

Jemma swiped her bangs out of her eyes, “It’s Sunday. Surely she’s planning to come back today right?”

“Doubtful.”

“What?” She frowned when Colt stood up again.

“Her salon is closed on Mondays. She might not come back until tomorrow.” His lips twitched into what could only be called a scowl, “And if she’s out there with that rock-hugging rig rat, she might not even be back Tuesday since he’ll be on leave all week.”

Since he was speaking a language she hadn’t heard in years it took her an extra second to decipher what he was talking about. Rig-rat was a nasty slang term usually reserved for the women that camped out near one of the oilfield rigs in order to land a man. The hilarity of Colt calling Skylar’s boyfriend by that term wasn’t lost on her.

Neither was the fact that Colt seemed to know an awful lot about Skylar’s schedule.

It took longer for her to figure out what he meant about the guy being on leave. Rig workers generally worked in two-week shifts, which meant depending on when they left, Skylar could spend another week minimum in the woods with her boyfriend.

“Skylar won’t stay in the woods for a whole week. I’m shocked she made it a full weekend.”

“She hasn’t. Not yet.” Colt’s scowl turned feral at the edges, “You can’t reach her by phone so that only leaves one option. Somebody should go out there and get her.”

“What?”

“You need her here. She’d want to be here for you if she knew you were in town. I’ll go pick her up and bring her back.”

“Colt…” Cash shook his head.

His mood switched again just that fast and he grinned, “I don’t mind. Really. I want to help and this is something I can do. Just let me freshen up and then I’ll head towards the falls. Only so many places they could be camping out there. Should have her back to you in a couple of hours tops.”

Colt winked as he moved past her towards the bedrooms. Jemma watched him go, confusion hitting her again as she tried to process how he’d gone from smiling to scowling to that almost evil grin in the matter of a minute and somehow it all had something to do with Skylar. Cash was still shaking his head when she looked back at him.

“Do I even want to know what that was really about?”

“Probably not.” He scratched his head when she only raised her eyebrows, “Colt hates that guy Skylar’s been dating.”

“Because he’s some random rig hand nobody in town knows anything about?”

“Yeah, that… and because he’s got it bad for the girl.” Cash grinned.

Jemma couldn’t help herself. She laughed. It was such a foreign feeling to want to smile and laugh that it surprised her, almost as much as the idea of Colt having a crush on her friend.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously, now come on, I’ll give you all the details but only after we snap some pictures of your bruises.”

Her laughter died just that fast and painfully. There, for just a second, she’d forgotten about her troubles. She’d just been a girl, laughing about something silly and inconsequential. But right now, there was nothing so frivolous as a crush for her to deal with. She had real problems but the sooner she dealt with them, the sooner she could get on with her life.

For the first time in a long time she was looking forward to what came next.

Something was different this morning but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It wasn’t one thing. It was everything. It was Jemma. The way she looked at him. The way she talked to him. The way she touched him… or rather, the fact that she touched him at all. Something had changed and even without knowing exactly what it was, he was grateful.

She wasn’t picking fights with him. She didn’t argue with him over every word that came out of his mouth. She didn’t jump out of her skin when he got close to her and she didn’t look at him like she was expecting the worst.

He didn’t know what had caused the change. Maybe it had been a good night’s sleep. Maybe it was just a little time alone, some distance from what had happened. Maybe she’d finally accepted that he wasn’t the enemy or the devil he’d painted himself as.

Whatever it was that had softened her towards him, he silently gave thanks for the opportunity and promised himself that he wouldn’t make her regret it. Not this time. He wouldn’t let her down, not again, not ever again. He’d destroyed her faith and her trust in him once already and he’d never expected to get a chance to right that wrong. Now that she was here, he would. Whatever it took. He would protect her.

Cash swiped water out of his hair with the towel and then tossed it over the shower rod to dry. After his brother had bolted from the apartment to track down Skylar, Jemma had looked at him, all big eyed curiosity and humor and he’d wanted to hold onto that moment for just a little while longer. He’d wanted to let her think about lighter things, silly things like Colt’s fascination with the pretty blonde that lived next door. So he’d filled her in while they had cereal for breakfast and then excused himself to take a shower.

Showering with Jemma in the other room had proven to be impossible. Every time he ran his hands over his body, he imaged it was her smaller, softer hands. He’d turned the heat off but not even the cold water had helped.

Because he didn’t have to imagine what that would be like, he had the memory of it from years ago to taunt him. Memories that he’d worked hard to tie up, tie down, lock down somewhere deep inside him, somewhere they were safe. But Jemma had touched him earlier and broken through all of his locks and chains.

He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. The image of Jemma putting her hand on his chest earlier rose up to haunt him again. Such a small gesture, but it changed everything.

She’d touched him, willingly, and looked up at him with so many emotions swirling in her hazel eyes, that he’d had to touch her too. He’d covered her hand with his and she hadn’t pulled away from him. That simple touch had been more meaningful than any full-on naked, sexual exchange he’d had in five years.

“Fuck.” He muttered as he resituated himself inside his jeans.

This was going to be harder than he’d thought. Literally. He had to walk the line. If he did anything to scare her, anything that came on too strong, he had a feeling he would ruin any good will he’d earned. And he couldn’t risk losing her again.

He tugged his t-shirt back over his head and then, once he was certain he had himself under control, he opened the bathroom door. Jemma was sitting exactly where he’d left her. She was curled up on the couch again, her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She looked so small and delicate that the air in his lungs hardened and he forgot to breathe.

She had her hair pulled back from her face again and it fell from her ponytail in soft natural curls. His fingers itched to pull the clip away, watch it fall around her shoulders. He’d had the right to do that once.

The first time he’d taken the liberty they’d been huddled over their textbooks in the library after school. She’d leaned close to him and he hadn’t been able to help himself. He’d smoothed a wild curl back out of her eyes, and he’d been entranced by the soft, silky strands so he’d pulled the clip away and earned her surprised giggle in return.

The memory was one of a hundred. Her hair, that gorgeous red mane with the golden undertones, had fascinated him long before he got his hands on her. He’d pulled her hair once, in elementary school, just because she’d had it in pigtails. She’d kicked him in the shin for it. He might have fallen for her right then and there.

“Jem?”

She glanced up and his heart thumped too hard in his chest. Something was wrong. The light that had been in her eyes earlier was gone now. She looked like she was on the verge of tears again. He started to cross the space towards her and then stopped himself from rushing over and sweeping her into his arms.

“What’s wrong?”

“My phone is charged.” She lifted it to show him.

“Okay?”

She sighed, released her knees and put her feet back on the ground, “I tried Skylar again but she didn’t answer.”

“Oh, well, we figured as much.” He tried for a smile to lighten the mood, “That’s why Colt went to get her.”

“I have a feeling Colt went to get her for a lot of reasons, the least of which was to help me.”

“That’s not true. He might have had his own reasons for going but helping you was definitely one of them. He cares about you too, Jemma.”

“I know.” She dropped her gaze.

“So what’s really got you upset?”

She didn’t look up, “I had a couple of messages from Hoyt.”

Fury flamed inside of him, hot and fast, and he was glad that he hadn’t moved closer to her. He thought that the clench of his fists might scare her. He grit his teeth and fought down the wave of anger that wanted to erupt in violence. He swallowed the curse that sat on his tongue and took an unsteady breath.

He was going to kill that bastard. He was going to hunt him down and when he found him he was going to unleash all of the rage that he kept caged inside of him. He let bits and pieces of it out when he dealt with Decker, but he tried to never let it all out at once for fear he wouldn’t be able to put it back in the cage afterwards. He wouldn’t bother holding back when he unleashed on the asshole that had hurt Jemma.

“He called you?” He could hear the venom in his voice but he couldn’t help that, not now, not with all of his anger issues riding so close to the surface.

Jemma nodded.

“What’d he say?”

“The usual.” She shrugged, bit into her bottom lip and then winced and soothed her tongue over the cut there, “He said he was sorry, that it was all a big misunderstanding and that he loves me.”

“Bullshit.” He snapped, “If he loved you he never would have…”

“I know.” Jemma cut him.

He forced a deep breath, trying to find solid ground again, “Jem, you can’t go back to him.”

A hurt expression crossed her face and he watched her shoulders curl in on themselves. She didn’t physically move but the expression on her face put a mile of distance back between them. She all but recoiled from him as anger quickly covered the hurt.

“You think I don’t know that?” Her chin tilted up, defiance making her words sharp, “You think so little of me that you think I would hear his apology and go running back to Houston?”

“No, I just…

“Think I need a reminder about what he did? About what he tried to do?” Her bottom lip quivered, taking away some of her righteous anger, “Because I’m the one wearing the bruises, Cash! I’m the one that can still feel the weight of him, holding me down and…”

“Jesus, Jem… no.” He started towards her again and when she stood up to try and get away from him he wrapped an arm around her and refused to budge when she shoved him, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Stop fighting me. I didn’t think before I spoke, I’m sorry.”

Jemma went limp against him. She didn’t wrap her arms around him but she didn’t knee him in the balls or try to hit him either. He shifted his hold to something gentler and stroked her back. He hated the slight tremor in her, knew it was his fault, that he had put it there this time, and he could think of nothing but wiping the awful moment, and feeling, away.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think before I spoke. You know me, I’m not so good with words. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to go back to him.” She whispered against his chest.

“Then don’t. Stay. Stay here.” His voice broke and he knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t stop the words, “Stay with me.”

He hadn’t asked her that last time. He hadn’t even thought about it. He’d known that it wasn’t fair to ask then and it wasn’t fair for him to ask now either. Not when she was in turmoil, with nothing of her own and nothing to hold onto. But he wanted her to hold onto him and he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

Jemma rubbed her cheek against his chest, “I’m not going back to him, Cash.”

“Good.”

She pulled back slightly and he let her, “But I spent years being told what I could and couldn’t do, being told what to feel, so don’t tell me I can’t do something again, okay?”

He nodded as understanding sank in. It wasn’t that he’d brought up the asshole. It wasn’t that he’d thought she might be considering forgiving the bastard. It was that he’d told her what to do. His statement had sounded like an order to her, even if that wasn’t how he’d meant it. What she had heard was colored by her experience so he made a note to be more careful, not about what he said but about how he said it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

She nodded slightly.

“I just meant, you shouldn’t go back to him.” He brushed her bangs out of her eyes, “He doesn’t deserve you.”

“I think that’s the first time anyone has ever said that to me.” Jemma dropped her forehead to his chest and sighed, “For years, he’s been telling me I don’t deserve him. His family never liked me. His friends thought he could do better. It’s been a long time since I had someone on my side.”

His heart broke for her all over again, “You didn’t deserve him, Jemma. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way. You didn’t deserve to be hurt or abused. You deserve the fucking world and I’m sorry that you ever had to deal with a man like that.”

She finally wrapped her arms around him. She didn’t say anything but she didn’t have to. The words he hadn’t said were there, hanging in the air. She never would have had to deal with a man like that if she’d been with him, if he’d asked her to stay instead of pushing her away last time.

He started to open his mouth, the words on the tip of his tongue. He needed to tell her the truth. He needed her to know that he’d lied. Maybe it wouldn’t make a difference to her. He couldn’t take it back. But he needed her to know that he had lied about not loving her.

The truth was, he’d loved her more than he’d ever loved anything.

The fact that he still did was what stopped him. Because he wanted her to know, now, because
he
needed it. Not because she did. What she needed was to feel safe and know that he would be there for her. She didn’t need him clearing his conscience and adding to her problems right now.

“Come on…” He forced himself to pull away from her, “We still need to take those pictures.”

She frowned but let him move away from her, “You really think it’s necessary? He seemed pretty intent on apologizing and getting me back. I don’t think he’s going to try and press charges.”

“Right now, he’s trying to make nice. When he realizes you’re not coming back, that might change.” He picked up her phone, “Better safe than sorry.”

“You’re right.”

“Careful. I might get used to hearing that.” He smirked and earned a small smile for his joke.

“Where do you want me?”

In his arms. In his bed. In his life, every damn day from here to eternity.

“Bathroom?” She asked when he remained quiet.

He cleared his throat, “Nah, the light in there is terrible.”

“Kitchen?”

“Yeah. Hop up on the counter and I’ll open the blinds to let more light in.”

He felt her move as he leaned over the couch to flip the blinds open. The crappy old plastic knob squeaked as he turned it. Summer sun poured in and when he turned he got a good look at Jemma leaning over the sink to do the same with the small window there. His eyes lingered on her ass, her cute, curvy little ass, barely concealed under those tiny denim cut-offs, and he narrowly escaped being caught staring when she spun back to face him.

“Better?”

He nodded and watched from a few feet away as she put her hands on the counter and then hopped up. If he’d been closer, he could have put his hands on her hips. He could have lifted her and stepped between her legs. He’d purposefully kept those few feet between them so that he wasn’t tempted to do just that. He was still tempted but the distance kept him from acting on it.

“Hand me the phone and I’ll unlock it.” Jemma reached a hand out and he dutifully stepped forward to hand it over.

“You keep it locked?”

She flickered a sad smile up at him before turning her attention to the phone in her hand, “Yeah, I didn’t want Hoyt getting into it, not that there was anything for him to find. The only person I ever had the balls to talk bad about him to was Skylar and he already hated her. I guess I just thought if he kept his locked, I should too.”