No Regrets: Jani Kay (Firebird Trilogy Book 2) (12 page)

How was I going to tell my mother—who had entrusted her youngest daughter into my care—that her baby was...
dead
? And Chloe? She would look at me as a failure, all respect wiped from her eyes.

It was killing me being alone. Surely there was something I could do to help find her?
Fuck this, sitting here hasn’t helped one bit
. I was going out to the closest police station to find out if they had any news. Anything at all.

I slipped on sensible shoes and grabbed my jacket. Being anywhere but here, alone, would be better. I jerked the door open and sucked in a breath. Kurt walked toward me and stood in front of the door, his face drawn and pale. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw my jacket over my arm.

“Rebecca, did I not tell you to stay here?” His voice was hard, his tone measured. “What if Lily comes back and you aren’t here?”

I fell into his arms, sobbing. “Kurt, what took you so long? I’m going out of my fucking mind here,” I wailed.

His German accent was even broader when he was angry. “Dammit, woman, get back inside. You’re not going anywhere.” He pushed me inside, out of the cold. It was dawn, and a chilly wind swept the city.

He pulled me into his arms and stroked my head. His voice softened, “It’s okay. I left as soon as I could. We had an emergency. There was a gigantic accident on the Autobahn. Five dead.”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry. Here I’m cursing you for not coming sooner and you’re trying to save people’s lives. I’m such a bad person.”

He sighed, rubbing my back slowly. “No, you’re not. You’re understandably upset. I need you to tell me everything about when you last saw her. Everything you can remember, even the smallest detail will help the police find her. I went to the police headquarters, urging them to put out a missing person case. They’re shaken up about her being a foreigner.”

“How come?” I gasped.

“No country wants a traveler to be harmed while in their territory. It’s bad publicity. Tourists drive an economy, you know.”

I nodded. It made sense. At least they’d take the case seriously and start looking for her before the required twenty-four hours had passed to file a missing person’s report. I was so grateful to have Kurt on my side.

“You must be exhausted,” I said, pulling away to look at him.

Lines were etched into his brow and his mouth turned downward. “I left a picture of Lily with the cops. So don’t get a fright when you turn on the TV. They may use it to get information, okay?”

“You have a picture of Lily?”

“On my phone. From Monday when we went sightseeing.” His eyes were misty.

“Oh, God, you must think I’m the worst sister, ever. Why the hell didn’t I just go out with her?” Guilt weighed heavily on me. I’d been chastising myself for the past few hours for being so stupid.

His voice was low and husky as he rubbed up and down my back. “Oh no, don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sorry I went a little crazy. It’s just that I see things at the hospital.”

“Don’t say it. Please. I have to believe she is alive somewhere, maybe a little drunk or with a man, but breathing.” I clung to him, wiping my nose against his shirt. It felt infinitely better to have someone here with me, even though misery and gloom had gripped my insides.

Kurt’s phone buzzed. He released me and dug it out of his pocket, a deep frown marring his face. “It’s the hospital.” His voice was filled with dread, as if that was the very last place he wanted a call from.

He turned his back and walked toward the balcony, opening the sliding door and letting himself out. He closed the door quietly, watching me through the glass as I shivered, a feeling of doom spreading through my limbs at his solemn expression.

What did it mean? Did he have to leave me again and go back to work? I couldn’t handle being alone again.

I heard him cursing, then speaking quickly in German, his voice a few decibels too high. Alarm bells went off in my head. Did this have anything to do with Lily?

My insides twisted into a knot, physically hurting. With a thumping heart, I opened the sliding door and stepped into the chilly night air, eyes wide. I had to know.

“Rebecca.” The way he said my name made my heart sink like a ton of bricks falling from the sky. My palms were clammy even though I was freezing cold.

“What is it Kurt? God, tell me, I’m going crazy here.”

Kurt stared at me for a long beat before he cleared his throat. His voice was thick and low when he answered. I saw fear in his eyes, scaring me shitless.

“They brought a woman in five minutes ago who answers the description of Lily—” His voice broke. “It doesn’t sound good.”

My hand flew to my mouth. My knees went weak and buckled under me. Kurt grabbed my arm to stabilize me. “Is she...is she a-alive?” I whispered, my throat so tight I could hardly get the words out.

His breathing labored, as if he was trying his best to control himself. “She’s breathing, but barely. I have to go.” He pushed me gently toward the door and onto the couch. He grabbed the throw from the backrest and covered me with it.

“What are you doing? I’m coming with you.” I protested as he leaned down and planted a kiss on my forehead.
Just as Lily had before she left.

“No. Stay,” he commanded, and then in a softer tone he said, “I will find out everything I can. Do everything I can, but you need to stay here in case it’s not Lily. In case she walks through that door.” From the despair in his eyes, I knew he didn’t believe she would for a second. My body went ice cold, my teeth clattering as I stared at him.

“Please give me your phone. I’ll key in the police contact’s number. That way you’ll know who it is if they call.” I watched as he scrolled through my numbers, typed something into his phone, and then tapped something into my phone. He passed it back to me.

“Keep your phone close and keep warm, Rebecca. Make some tea. I will be back for you as soon as I know. I need you to stay strong. For Lily. Okay?”

His ice-blue eyes bored into me, as if he was making sure I understood the gravity of what he was asking me. I nodded, unable to speak.

God, this was a fucking nightmare. I wanted to wake up and find it was all just a very bad dream. I closed my eyes as he pulled the door closed behind him. I’d never felt so alone, so unsure, so frightened in my whole life.

“M
um, it’s me.” I paced the room, rubbing my forehead as I tried to find the right words to break the news to her.

“Rebecca, what’s wrong, honey? Is everything okay?” Her voice sounded as if she were close by, not a continent away. If only she were in the next room. If only she could hug me and tell me it was going to be all right. Instead, I had to tell her what happened; how it was all my fault her baby was missing.

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath before I spoke again, “No. It's not okay.” My voice broke and I had to fight hard to hold back the tears.

“What happened? Is Lily safe? Are you—” Her voice had gone from concerned to high-pitched.

My breath hitched. “I’m fine.”
Not really
. “It’s Lily. She...she went out by herself and... she hasn’t returned. I don’t know where she is. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t understand. Why was she out alone? Who...how?” The hysteria in her voice frightened me. This was more difficult than I imagined.

“I don’t know the details yet. A friend of mine—a trainee medic—he’s trying to find out exactly what happened. As soon as I know more, I’ll call you back.”

“How could you let that happen? My God, Rebecca...”

I rubbed at my heart. The ache that settled there was gnawing at me.

Flopping down on the couch, I closed my eyes for a moment and recalled the last few hours. If I had known something like this would happen, I'd have tied Lily down to the damn bed until Kurt could accompany her out, or squeezed my feet back into shoes and gone with her.

“I’m sorry, Mum. I’ll let you know as soon as I have more news.” I heard another voice in the background. “Is Chloe there with you?”

Before she could reply, my sister’s voice sounded in my ear. “Becca, what’s going on?”

I repeated everything I’d told my mother, which wasn’t a hell of a lot of information to begin with. Chloe’s reaction was worse than my mother’s. She yelled into the phone. “Fuck, Rebecca! She could be dead somewhere.”

“I know. Don’t you think that thought has crossed my mind? The cops are on it. And Kurt is at the hospital getting information.”

“Kurt? Who the hell is Kurt?”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to stay calm. “He’s my friend and a doctor. He had a call about a girl who was brought in and fitted Lily’s description.”

“Shit. Does Kurt know Lily? How will he know if it’s her?”

“Yes, they’re friends. Kurt has been showing Lily around when he’s had time off work.”

“Jesus, Becca, I can't believe you’d let Lily go out by herself. How stupid can you be?” Her voice was hard and unforgiving.

“Chloe, I don’t need your crap right now. I called to let you know what happened and as soon as I have more info, I’ll call again. I need to get off the phone in case someone tries to call.”

I ended the call before she could sling more abuse at me.

Please God, let Lily be safe.
I couldn’t face my family if something terrible happened to her on my watch. I didn’t think I’d even be able to face myself.

Conflicted by wanting to know that we’d found Lily, I also
didn’t
want the woman in the hospital to be her.

Please, God, let Lily be alive.

E
xhausted from worry, I'd fallen asleep on the couch, blissfully slipping into oblivion for a while. I woke to a soft touch tugging my arm and Kurt calling my name.

“What?” I bolted upright as the memories of the past few hours came flooding back to my consciousness. Kurt’s face was drawn tight. Solemn. Dark rings under his eyes from lack of sleep brought a pang of guilt to my heart that I'd drifted off while he’d had to go back to the hospital.

“Lily? Is it her...is she okay? Please tell me.” I held my breath, waiting for his reply.

Kurt sank back in the chair, sad eyes trained on me. “The girl in the hospital...is your sister. She’s alive, thank God.” He closed his eyes for a beat.

“What happened?” I couldn’t hide the hysteria in my voice.

“Lily was attacked by a man. He dragged her from the street into an alleyway. He had...a knife to her throat.” His voice broke on the last few words.

My hand covered my mouth as I rocked forward and wailed, “No. God, no, not Lily—”

“Thank God, she wasn’t raped or killed. He’d ripped her clothes to shreds, and forced her onto her knees. She’s badly bruised from where he kicked her repeatedly and has a slash across her cheek and hand from fighting him.”

“Oh, my poor baby,” I sobbed. Kurt moved closer and took both my hands in his, rubbing the knuckles with his thumbs to soothe me.

“She was unconscious when a man brought her to the hospital. He and his wife saw some of it and he and a friend ran to help her.” Kurt shivered. “The attacker ran away, but not before threatening to return to finish the job. The man who saved her said it sounded as if the attacker knew her.”

“What?” I gasped for air. “How is that even possible? She’s only been here for a few days.”

Kurt shrugged, exhaustion etched on his face. “He called her a bitch and said she had to pay for what she’d done.”

My mouth went dry. “Did...did Lily tell you all this?”

“No. It's what they’d overheard him scream at her as he left her lying there.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “They heard him say that?”

“Yes. The wife is French.” Kurt paused and stared at me, a deep frown between his brows. “The attacker...he spoke in
French
.”

Tears brimmed at the edge of my lashes, threatening to spill over again. I couldn’t begin to comprehend why someone would want to do something like that. “Oh, my God, what could it mean? Do you think he mistook Lily for someone else? It's insane.” As it sank in, fear gripped my heart. If it wasn’t a random attack and he meant to come back, Lily was still in grave danger.

“The man and his wife wrapped her in the woman’s jacket and brought her to the hospital. She’s in an induced coma so she can sleep and forget the trauma.”

I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and twisted it. “Kurt, we can't leave her there unprotected. What if he goes to the hospital to carry out his threat? We’ve got to get her to safety until we can figure out what in hell is going on.”

“The cops are there watching her. They opened an attempted murder case. She’ll be fine.”

“Attempted murder? Who would want to kill my beautiful Lily?” Tears spilled down my cheeks, turning Kurt’s face into a haze.

“The German police are very thorough. They won’t leave a stone unturned to find the attacker. Especially as Lily is a foreigner. If necessary, they will call Interpol to help with the investigation.”

I had to trust that Kurt knew what he was talking about.

He took both my hands in his and rubbed over my knuckles. “The police have called your mother to tell her the news. I said I wanted to tell you myself.”

“Oh God, my mother and Chloe will be in a state and hating that they’re so far away. I wish I could’ve spared them this.” My shoulders slumped as I curled my body into the corner of the seat and hugged my knees to my chest.

A vein in his jaw ticked. “It's not your fault, Rebecca. I overreacted and said some things...you couldn’t have known this would happen, so please don’t blame yourself.”

My breath hitched. I cast my eyes down as I processed it all. After a few moments, I raised my gaze to his.

“When can I see Lily?”

He shook his head. “Not for a while. She’s in a coma right now, so she won’t know you’re there anyway. The doctors need to do tests and take...samples. It's better if you stay here until they have done their work. They will tell me when it's okay for you to go.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Rest assured I’ll be with her every day. They won’t kick me out, so you have nothing to worry about.”