No Stone Unturned

- Chapter 1 -

THE UNSTOPPABLE QUEEN BEE

Celeb-o-Matic

October 26

Every celebrity career sees its fair share of trials and tribulations, and for young popstar Queen Bee, it’s safe to say that she has seen them all in a very short period of time.  Millions upon millions of haters? Check.  A nightclub brawl followed by an embarrassing, high-profile lawsuit? Check.  Daily tabloids quick to jump on the fall of a young but epic career? Check.

And lastly, a crazed blogger who claims to have leaked your heavily disguised true identity?

Check.

Queen Bee has indeed seen it all, and since the start of the summer, she has doggedly fought back for control of her image and career.  As expected, her team denied that the leaked photo of a brunette girl outside the “Makeup” video shoot was Bee, and perhaps because they subconsciously don’t want to know her true identity, fans on the internet have quickly accepted those claims as the truth.

Even quicker than she had lost it, Queen Bee has regained her pop royalty status – with a vengeance.  Since June, the starlet has released her debut album “Makeup,” named after her smash hit of a single with an equally smashing video to boot.  Bee’s “Makeup” ensemble – a nude bodysuit woven with blood and vein-like threads – has no doubt replaced the Balenciaga white feather and pearl stunner as her new iconic outfit.  Even higher lauded than her ensemble, however, is the concept of the video, which shows an aerial view of Bee leading her crimson-clad fans through the streets of Manhattan, creating the imagery of blood running magnificently through veins.  Bee is adamant about the message – her fans are what make her, and she holds a significant place for them in her heart. 

And to the surprise of no one, Bee swept August’s MTV Video Music Awards for Best New Artist, Best Pop Video, Best Female Video, Best Special Effects and Video of the Year.  The “Makeup” video has nabbed nearly 200,000,000 views on YouTube since it’s early July release, and Bee’s following video for single “My Choice” featuring Tyler Chase is not too far behind with views topping 180,000,000.

So what’s next for the unstoppable starlet? Bee has since the early summer moved to Hollywood, not-so-coincidentally where boyfriend Tyler Chase resides.  The move has sparked even more outrage among Chase fans, but Bee seems unfazed as she has fearlessly continued to make public appearances with her heartthrob beau.  Perhaps best friend and new neighbor Zoe Mercury provides a sense of security for the hounded singer, especially with Mercury’s recent combat training for her role as a Bond girl in the franchise’s latest installment.

For Bee, it looks like there’s nowhere to go but up.

Three months after purchasing a home, the cities of Los Angeles were still uncharted territory to Gemma.  Since she had yet to truly see any of them, Tyler had devised a plan to allow them both an uninterrupted stroll through town in the crisp October air. 

The West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval was a short distance away on Santa Monica Boulevard, where hundreds of thousands of people would be marching down the street, fully made up and dressed in elaborate costumes.  Covered from head to toe in their respective Koala and Astronaut suits, Gemma and Tyler planned for once, on blending right in.

The holiday marked their first day off together since Gemma moved to California.  Tyler had found her the ultimate starter home in Sunset Hills, just a short drive from his own home.  As a result, it was no surprise that the media would assume they had moved in together.  Gemma and her team preferred it that way anyway – no one would go looking for her actual house if they didn’t know it existed.

“How do I close this so my butt isn’t hanging out? Did you buy me a defective costume on purpose?” Gemma asked Tyler as they got ready in his master bedroom. 

“Obviously,” he joked before zipping her up and giving her a little smack on the behind.  “And by ‘obviously’ I mean there’s a hidden zipper, which you of all people should’ve figured out. 
Queen Bee
.”

“Really? How come I can’t find it?” she giggled.

Tyler grinned.  “It’s right here,” he said.  Once again, he reached for the suit and swiftly unzipped the whole thing in a single motion.

“Wow, looks like you’ve had a lot of experience unzipping things,” Gemma teased.

“Well,” Tyler murmured.  “Not as much as I’d like.”  He pulled her into his body and unzipped the back of the black dress she wore underneath her costume, using the same deft skills he had demonstrated before.  She felt the sensation of a cool breeze down her skin before it was quickly replaced with the warmth of his hands.  He kissed her neck.

“Tyler, no,” Gemma giggled.  “I’m in a koala costume for God’s sake.”  She pushed him away gently.  “And Andro’s been waiting forever in the car.”  She gave a slight pout.  “I don’t want it to be rushed.”

Tyler threw his head back, sighing exaggeratedly.  While he and Gemma had been an official item for quite awhile now, their schedules had yet to correspond to provide any private time.  They had actually spent the majority of their relationship apart, as Gemma consumed herself with settling in across the country and rebuilding the career and empire of Queen Bee.  Even their joint projects, such as the charity they had long planned for together, didn’t provide them much quality time.

“Well, I’ve already waited
this
long.  I could probably go a little longer,” Tyler laughed.  He smiled, embracing Gemma from behind again.  “But once I get you alone and… not in a koala costume, you better watch out.”  He took her face in his hands and kissed her sweetly on the lips.  Gemma giggled, kissing him back before plunking his astronaut helmet over his head. 

“Deal.”

~

“I think we’re the most covered up people here,” Tyler yelled for the third time through his giant plastic helmet.

“
Oh
,” Gemma shouted back, finally understanding his words through her heavy koala mask.  “Yeah, that’s… definitely true!”

It was her first Halloween outside of the autumnal temperatures of the Northeast and Gemma was surprised by the amount of skin exposed among the costumed crowd.  Back home, all those who donned skimpy costumes were forced to run around either shivering or covered up in mismatched outerwear.  It was a bit different in L.A.  There were the traditional choices of zombies and superheroes, but there were also sexy zombies, shirtless superheroes and even a guy wearing nothing but a pair of fangs and boxer briefs.  The sun was still out and the air was perfectly warm and crisp.  Gemma could understand why people wanted to wear as little clothing as possible.

“I can’t believe we’re getting away with this!” she giggled.  She was absolutely giddy with the adrenaline of being out with Tyler like a normal couple.  They had been walking undisturbed for nearly an hour, which was something they had never done together before.  However, despite her excitement, she still wore an additional Venetian mask under the koala head.  In her mind, it was a necessary precaution in case someone accidentally knocked off the top of her costume.  Since the undisguised photo of her face had been released to the public, Gemma found herself being more cautious in her everyday life.  Though the public had brushed off the photo as fake,
she
knew just how very real it was.  Not only that, she still had no idea how the source had obtained the image. 

“Oh my God, look! It’s Queen Bee and Tyler Chase!” a voice yelled in the distance.  Gemma ducked instinctively, clutching Tyler and readying herself for the impending chaos that generally followed when they were outed in a crowd. 
How could they tell?

Cheers rang out.  Tyler laughed, squeezing Gemma’s arm gently.  She froze, confused as he pointed to a couple in front of them.  A tall, thin man was readjusting the veil on his white-blonde wig.  He wore a replica of the lavender jumpsuit that Gemma had worn when she first met Tyler as Queen Bee.  Another man stood next to him, his hair styled to look like the shaggy haircut that Tyler wore up until about a year ago.

“We’re very in love! Leave us alone! No pictures please!” the man dressed as Tyler shouted as their friends acted as paparazzi.  They posed for the camera despite his words.

“Oh my God,” Gemma laughed.  “He looks better in that jumpsuit than I did.”

“Never,” Tyler said.  “No one wears anything as well as you.”  He reached for her hand.  Gemma looked down at his silver gloves trying to grip her furry mitt.  They laughed.

“I don’t get it!” yelled the man dressed as Queen Bee.  He squinted at Tyler and Gemma.  “Was there news about an astronaut getting it on with a koala recently?”

“No, this was just all they had left!” Gemma yelled in response.  “Oh, and you look incredible, Queen Bee!”

“Why, thank you!” the man said as he primped his hair and blew a kiss.  Gemma pretended to catch it and place it on her giant koala nose before waving goodbye.

t siBallsy move, Hunter,” Tyler said.  “If only he knew.”

Gemma giggled.  She looked around at the sea of costumed people.  “Wow, look! They’re definitely not the only ones who dressed up as us.” She pointed at two other nearby couples comparing their Tyler Chase and Queen Bee costumes.  One of the girls explained how she had spent hours gluing feathers and pearls to her dress.  Her boyfriend held a life-sized printout of Tyler’s head over his face, trying his best to execute a few signature dance moves.  He stopped only to admire someone who passed by wearing a full rubber mask of Tyler’s face.

“Damn, I didn’t even know they made those,” Tyler murmured in awe. 

As they continued to walk, they confirmed their suspicions that the Tyler Chase and Queen Bee duo was easily the most popular couple’s costume at the parade.  There were impressive renditions of Queen Bee’s most famous gowns as well as quirky zombie versions of both herself and Tyler.  Gemma laughed at them all, returning the high fives that a few of them randomly held their hands out for.

“Wow.  I think we would’ve blended in more if we just came as ourselves,” Gemma joked.

“I think you’re right,” Tyler grinned.  He cracked open the bottom of his helmet and sucked in a breath of fresh air.  “Alright, ready to go? I might suffocate under this thing if we stay any longer,” he laughed.  Gemma nodded.  She glanced around to make sure that nobody was somehow recognizing Tyler’s much-photographed lips as he breathed outside his helmet. 
Calm down
, she laughed at herself, letting Tyler lead her across the crowd and into the quieter cross-streets in search of their driver.  The black towncar rolled up to the curb just as Gemma decided she couldn’t handle another second in her koala suit.

“That was fun,” Gemma said.  “I can’t believe we got away with it.”  She jumped into the passenger seat and waited for Tyler to get in, shut the doors and roll up the tinted windows.  Once he did, they pulled off their masks and sighed, laughing as they scruffed each other’s matted hair.

As the car pulled away from the mess of the parade, Gemma turned in her seat to get one last glance at the scene.  Though she could only see her back, she noticed yet another girl dressed as Queen Bee, teetering away from the crowd alone.  She wore a rather accurate replica of Queen Bee’s iconic Balenciaga gown, complete with the white feathers and pearls.  The only difference Gemma could spot was that the girl walked barefoot.

However as the car moved forward, she noticed splashes of red streaked down the front of the girl’s dress, starting at the bust and flaring downward.  Gemma squinted, and only then did she see it.  Plunged into the girl’s chest was a fake knife, the red streaks meant to serve as Queen Bee’s blood.  Gemma looked around for someone dressed as a murderous Tyler, but there was none.  It was just the one girl, swaying alone on the street and looking entirely too real for Gemma to laugh.

“Tyler, look at her.  Do you see that girl?” she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.  When she got no answer, she turned to see that he had fallen asleep, hugging his helmet in his lap.

TIME TO TURN THE TABLES

Celebstan

Posted by Justin, the Bee Chasing Alien who carries a Gunn

November 1

I have a super brilliant idea.

As you all well know, Her Royal Secrecy recently out-crazied herself by collecting internet signatures for her psychotic petition, which called for QB to take off the makeup and show her flawless face.  Oops, someone’s butthurt about being crowned Internet’s Biggest Try-Hard after leaking those flop pictures of “Queen Bee without her makeup.”  Additionally, due to excessive Haterade consumption and general batshit behavior, her subscribers are dropping like Harper Gunn at an open bar! (jk, so proud of you for beasting at rehab, Harpie!!!)