No Words Alone (24 page)

He reached for a piece of fruit from the
display on the table and toyed with it . “You wanted to be
productive.”

She could only bang her head against a brick
wall for so long without developing a headache. If he thought they
were done, however, he was dead wrong. She’d give ground now and
come back at him when he didn’t expect it. It was easier than
keeping track of two conversations. “Who runs it now?”

“I have a manager. You can train with him,
and with myself when I have time.”

“It doesn’t sound like something I’m going to
enjoy for long, and I get grouchy when I’m bored. You might live to
regret this.”

Ryven raised a brow. “Then you agree?”

She snorted. “You are so manipulative.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ve already had a
shuttle prepared for us. We’ll leave to tour the estate
immediately.” He looked pleased.

Her eyes narrowed. “You had this all
planned?” Granted, it was before she’d brought up her arguments,
but as a distraction, it worked in his favor.

He shrugged a shoulder. “It’s traditional for
wives to have a hand in running family estates. Ours has been part
of the family for six generations. You’ll be carrying on a legacy.”
He offered her an apologetic look. “I hadn’t mentioned it before
because I wanted you to be more settled before we discussed such
things. We’ve had an unconventional courtship.”

Ryven, apologetic? Unlikely. He was just
trying to soften her. She was tempted to argue just because her
blood was up. It annoyed her that he’d outmaneuvered her.

There was nothing she could say, however, so
she forced a toothy smile. “Great.”

However annoyed she was with his
stubbornness, she liked his plan to take a scenic flight in his
personal aircraft before heading for the estate. She hadn’t known
he had a personal aircraft, let alone one with comfortable seats
and plenty of legroom. It came equipped with a small galley,
lavatory and bedroom. “Nice,” she told him. “Can I fly it?”

He smiled ruefully. “I knew you would ask.Of
course you may, since I’ll be here to act as your flight
instructor. I’ve heard some encouraging things about your simulator
training. I’m eager to see you in action.”

The flight went as smooth as Xera could have
hoped, and Ryven soon relaxed with her at the controls. They
traveled at a leisurely speed so she could admire the snow-covered
mountains and expanses of farmland between towns. After they’d
traveled for nearly an hour, he took over and piloted them down to
a neatly terraced hill farm. A generously proportioned but
welcoming mansion of brown stone trimmed in white granite occupied
the side of a gentle southern slope.

They landed on a private shuttle pad and
Ryven shut down the engines. “Welcome home.”

Xera blinked at him. “Home? I thought that
was your palace.”

Ryven shook his head. “Not really. Put your
gloves on. I want to show you the grounds first.”

He was justly proud of the place, she thought
as she walked the freshly shoveled pathways and admired the
snow-cloaked gardens and stone walls. There was even a fountain
close to the house that was flanked by backless benches. A current
kept the shallow water ice free for the bright fish that darted
through it.

Lavender snow might cover the hedges and
orchards, but Xera could see the bones of very lovely garden. The
setting was tranquil, far different from the hustle and bustle of
palace life. She could see why such a place would appeal to Ryven,
but....

“That’s an odd smile,” he commented as they
walked arm in arm. Apparently a private garden didn’t forestall
that kind of touching. She was still learning what was considered
appropriate and when it was okay to bend the rules.

“Of all the places I’ve seen you, this is the
first time you... Well, I’d just never have imagined you on a
farm.”

He smiled. “There’s more to me than war. Come
and see the house, and you’ll see how much.”

The entryway had a bench to one side for
removing winter boots, and a walk-in closet to the side for their
coats. Xera was pleasantly surprised to find slippers waiting in
her size. She sent Ryven a questioning look.

“I had the caretaker prepare the place for
us,” he said.

She glanced around at the gleaming staircase
in front of them, then at the hallways leading left and right. She
chose to investigate the living room first. A copper-tiled
fireplace warmed the far wall, and she thought the picture over the
mantel looked like one of Tessla’s. The floors were tiled in earth
tones, and the walls were a lovely shade of cream. Some of the
sitting pillows were made of animal hide with large black and white
patches. Others were brown leather embroidered with gold thread.
The accessories were tasteful and elegant. It looked like the work
of a professional decorator and probably was.

“Nice,” she said.

The room on the other side of the hallway was
a dining area with a view of the kitchen. There were more floor
pillows here, and the absent cook had thoughtfully left the table
set for two. A pair of covered dishes and a plate of sweet
dumplings sat on the table.

“I’m impressed,” Xera said when they sat down
and pulled the covers off the pots. “They’re still steaming.”

Ryven smiled. “Timing is everything.”

She smiled in return and accepted a serving
of rich vegetable soup. She didn’t know how it was done, but she’d
never had a broth that was so incredibly rich and satisfying,
without a trace of cream. She was about to ask if Ryven knew how it
was prepared when she caught him looking at her expectantly. “What?
It’s very good, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

He grimaced. “I’m trying to be patient, but
you’re making it difficult.”

“About what?” she asked, all at sea.

He seemed about to speak, then sighed and
asked, “How do you like the house?”

Was that all he wanted? His look had seemed
to ask more. She said slowly, “Well, it’s beautiful, of course. I
haven’t seen all of it, but if the rest of it looks like this, I’ll
love it. Did you think I wouldn’t?”

“No.” He shut his mouth firmly and applied
himself to his soup.

Wondering what had gotten into him, she
finished her broth and the spiced vegetables in the other dish. She
was hungry! Must be the winter air. A gusty sigh blew over her as
she was reaching for a second dumpling. They were filled with a
delightful brown cheese with a crunchy texture. The filling
practically danced in her mouth, and she was reluctant to take her
attention from it. She shot her husband an inquiring look.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked.

What? This was starting to bug her. Why
couldn’t he just speak his mind? “What do you mean?” she
snapped.

He looked exasperated. “The baby! I thought
you’d tell me by now.”

“What baby? I haven’t been around any babies
lately.” She thought about his family, his nephews and nieces. All
of them were well out of diapers. “Is one of your sisters pregnant
again? Nobody told me.”

He stared hard at her, then blinked. “You
don’t know.”

“Know what? What are you...?” She trailed off
as a thought came over her. “Wait a minute. You don’t think
I’m....” She laughed, but her humor was short-lived. The expression
on his face was too serious. The hairs on her neck stood straight
up. “Not funny, Ryven.”

His eyes moved to her middle and lingered. It
was almost as if he could see…. It hit her: “You can see in
infrared. But…there should be nothing to see yet. I-I mean, there’s
nothing
to
see. I haven’t even felt anything.” She was
stammering, his intent expression throwing her off. She frantically
reworked her mental math, calculating dates. Her birth control must
have worn off. Well, it was a good product, but not infallible.
Still…“Look, I would know if something was up, okay?”

“Apparently not.” He sat back, his eyes
beginning to heat with amusement. “I thought you were only teasing
me by not saying anything.”

She took a deep breath. “Only a doctor would
know this early in the game. I can’t be pregnant!” She realized
she’d been depending on the supposed differences in their
physiology to keep her from becoming pregnant; it had allowed her
to nod and smile when he’d talked of family planning. Apparently
there weren’t any of significance in the matter of fertility.
That’s what she got for making assumptions.

“You are. I can see the color markers. I
noticed it this morning, but all you wanted to do was argue. Why do
you think I was so vexed?”

“Because you’re a…” She bit off her retort
and stood up. This was horrible news! She wasn’t ready for
something like this. She felt trapped, confused.

He stood also. “You don’t like it?”

Her angry arm gesture was meant to convey
extreme agitation. “No, I don’t like it! I don’t like these sorts
of surprises. I’m not ready to be a mother.”

“We talked about this.” His expression was
stern, a touch cold.

“You mentioned it. I never agreed,” she said
vehemently. “Do I look like a mother to you? Do you look like a
father?” Her throat closed up as she saw him flinch. Whatever she
felt, it wasn’t the need to hurt him. “That wasn’t fair. I’m sure
you’d make a great father. It’s just...I’m not....” She turned
away, unable to explain what she felt, not to him. She was trapped.
If she was having his baby, then she was truly trapped. Had he
known that?

She felt Ryven settle a hand on her shoulder.
He couldn’t miss her tension, but she didn’t want to relax just to
spare his feelings.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “If I’d known
what a shock it would be to you, we could have taken more
care.”

She drew a ragged breath. “It’s my fault; I
assumed I had it covered.”

“You’re not alone,” he murmured. He waited,
his touch drawing away her resistance. Eventually, she turned and
buried her face in his chest. But her hands rested on his stomach,
ready to push him away.

“I’m so not ready for this. This happened too fast.”
Being cut off from her family, the crash, him. Maybe she’d never
really dealt with all of it, had been too busy surviving. Funny,
how a thing like a baby could shatter all the walls. A wave of
panic rose up and threatened to engulf her.

“Breathe,” he commanded, taking her face in
his hands. “Xera, listen to me. Breathe!”

She tried to obey, but it was a struggle.
She’d never hyperventilated before.

He muttered something, then carried her into
the living area and settled them on a floor cushion. “Breathe,” he
coached her, and began to massage her feet.

“What are you doing?” she demanded, and tried
to jerk her foot away.

“Giving your mind something to focus on.” It
was weird, but it worked. In a few minutes, her breathing was
mostly back to normal. She began to feel tired. Worse, she began to
cry.

Ryven instantly stopped rubbing her feet and
moved up to hold her. “Easy, wife. Hush.” He held her while she
blubbered and babbled, then rose to fetch her some tissues. When
the storm finally calmed, he stroked her hair. “Some better?”

“No,” she groused, though she did feel
somewhat improved. “I hate that I cried.”

He thought about that. “I understand that’s
not abnormal.”

She sniffed. “If you tell me that pregnant
women cry all the time I’ll have to hit you.”

He laughed. “Have mercy! I’d have to let you
win.”

She growled. “It’d serve you right if I had
triplets.”

There was a pause. “Is that a possibility?”
He had the nerve to sound eager.

“I doubt it. Oh, I hope not!” The idea of
babies in triplicate was daunting. She had an appalling vision of
herself as large as a shuttle. “Do you know how helpless pregnant
women are? I’ll look like I swallowed a moon!”

He sat up and took her by the shoulders.
Sternly, he said, “My wife will look regal and lovely carrying my
children. I will not accept you holding any backward beliefs about
this. It’s a proud moment in a man’s life. I’ll be pleased to see
you change with the life that’s within you.”

Xera took a breath. No, she couldn’t take
this man’s child away, and couldn’t talk about her feelings. Even
if he’d trapped her on purpose, she couldn’t hurt him, not about
this. “Change scares me.”

He kissed her. “Change brought me you.”

Chapter 18

They didn’t go home that night. Ryven let
Xera nap. He woke her just before dinner to show her the rest of
the house. He distracted her with a board game and joined her for a
hot bath when she began to yawn. Most importantly, he didn’t try to
make love to her that night, sensing that what she needed was to be
held. When they woke in the morning, he was very gentle in his
lovemaking, careful that it held the reassurance she craved.

It was different, seeing her so vulnerable.
After everything she’d been through, he wouldn’t have thought it
would be the news of her impending motherhood that would bring her
low. Women were strange creatures, he mused as he escorted her back
to the shuttle. Sometimes he thought his was stranger than most.
Still, he liked her. It was a novel sensation, being friends with a
woman who wasn’t a relative. It was especially refreshing having
that relationship with a wife.

He grinned, thinking of his children to be.
He made sure Xera wasn’t looking. It wouldn’t do to have her catch
him at it when she was feeling so low; she’d probably try to damage
him. But, why shouldn’t he be happy? This moment had been a long
time coming.

He needed to find a sufficiently distracting
matter for Xera. She didn’t need to be brooding about this, and he
suspected she’d become used to it in time. With luck, she’d soon
take her situation in stride and treat it with her accustomed
practicality.

Of course, he would never admit that he knew
pregnancy would hobble her. As happy as he was about the baby, he
was even happier to know that his wife was now welded to him. She
missed her family, yes, but there was nothing like carrying a child
to create stronger ties. He’d seen it many times before. He
understood Xera well enough to know it would be the same with
her.