Nobody's Fool (8 page)

That’s what Jolie was attracted to. What she’d always been attracted to. The exterior. The superficial.

Court flipped over to his other side and punched his pillow again. An overnight stay at the lake would be the perfect opportunity to implement the next phase of his plan to get over her. She wasn’t going to get to him again. No way. No how.

Chapter Eight

“Court, why did you invite me up here with you?”

They’d finished one bottle of wine and had opened another. Jolie had curled up in one corner of the old sofa with her knees drawn up, her eyes soft and questioning. A pink sweater hugged her curves and complemented her complexion.

Court felt a tightness in his chest. They’d fallen into their old camaraderie on the drive up this morning. All day they’d worked together companionably, toting the outdoor furniture into the basement, sweeping and cleaning, doing a bit of work on the landscaping. They’d hiked around the lake, showered and made a simple meal from the supplies Court had brought with them.

As the day progressed he found it harder and harder to resist acting on his instincts. What he wanted more than anything right now was to close the distance between them, to lay Jolie down on the sofa cushions. Or better yet, haul her off to the bed and make love to her the whole night through.

Yeah, right
, he told himself.
Good plan
.
Then you can watch her walk away again, because you know that’s exactly what she’ll do. She’ll walk away and never look back. You’ll be nursing a broken heart for another ten years.

No. He wasn’t going to let that happen. No way. He’d be the one to walk away this time. That was the plan—

“Court?” Jolie leaned toward him. She touched the back of his hand.

He stared at her. His mouth went dry.

Her lips were parted, smudged with the remnants of pale pink lip color.

“Court? I think I’m in love with you.”

That declaration deserved a response, didn’t it? A snort of disbelief seemed appropriate. Denial was in order, at the very least. But Court couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. His carefully thought-out plan had not prepared him for this moment.

Undeterred by his lack of response, Jolie moved closer. The backs of her fingers brushed his jaw. Her eyes were soft and smoky. He made a noise low in his throat—of protest or delight, he wasn’t sure—just before her lips touched his. Soft. So soft. So pretty. So much to offer.

She kissed him. She wanted him. He couldn’t deal with this. Not with her mouth against his, the tip of her tongue teasing him like this. Not with the heat beneath her sweater scorching his hands. Rational thought was simply not possible. The blood had rushed from his brain to settle elsewhere.
No problem.
That was his last fuzzy thought. He could figure this out tomorrow.

It was the wine, Jolie decided, that had made her bold enough to tell Court how she felt. The wine that sent her into his arms, that prompted her to kiss him, even after he’d been staring at her as if he were in shock.

But that wore off quickly after the initial moment. He ravaged her mouth like a starving man and she gave him all she had to give. He yanked her sweater over her head. She was panting by then, trying to remember the last time a man had acted like he wanted her this much.

Never
, came the distant reply, and on some level she knew it was true.

His mouth and his tongue set her on fire, exploring her throat, her shoulders, her chest. All the while, his hands cupped her breasts through her barely there bra.

Take it off
, she wanted to scream just before he released the clasp. She was nearly crying from her own need. When was the last time she’d wanted a man this much? Never. Not the way she wanted Court. Not like she’d die if she didn’t have him right now.

She closed her eyes as he suckled and touched, giving each breast equal attention. Heat pooled between her thighs and she began to whimper with the need for release.

Court pulled her securely into his lap and kissed her long and lovingly.

He stood up with her still clinging to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, because if he thought she was letting go now, he was nuts.

He found his way into his bedroom. More excitement built as her bare nipples rubbed against the denim of his shirt.

By the time he lowered her to the bed and lay down next to her she was almost mindless with need.

She disengaged from his kiss long enough to say, “Hurry.” She began to unbutton his shirt, surprised to find her fingers so nimble when the rest of her felt so shaky.

“What’s your rush?” he whispered as she shoved the shirt from his shoulders and yanked the sleeves over his wrists. “We’ve got all night.”

Now they were both naked from the waist up. She straddled him, basking in the sensation of her breasts pressed against the swirls of hair on his chest. She rubbed herself against him, rewarded when she heard his quick intake of breath.

“Exactly my point,” she whispered. She kissed him again, exploring, seeking. Helpless with desire and feelings of love. And fear. And wonder.

The past week she’d sensed Court watching and waiting. But tonight he was far from passive. He was an equal and willing participant.

He wrapped his arms around her, making her feel protected and secure. He’d never hurt her. Ever since high school she’d known that. He’d never abandon her, never betray her. She didn’t have to hold back. For the first time in her life she felt free to be herself.

His hands smoothed down her back. He clutched her closer to him. She could feel his arousal through the denim. She rubbed against him eagerly, imitating the act of love as their tongues twisted and delved and played together.

Court released the button at her waist and slid the zipper down, pushing the jeans over her hips. His fingers slid inside her panties and down between her thighs. Her knees turned to jelly.

He rolled her to her back and drew the pants off completely, then braced himself above her. Jolie could hardly see him. The room was lit only by the glow of the fireplace in the other room and a thin beam of moonlight breaking through the windowpanes. She wished she could see his eyes, the expression on his face. She cupped his jaw in her hands and he turned his head to kiss her palm.

He grasped her hand and nibbled the inside of her wrist before lowering himself, nuzzling her neck. His tongue flicked out below her ear. She arched beneath him.

He drew back and she reached for his fly, released the button and drew the zipper down. “Now,” she whispered. “I want you now. Oh, God, I want you so much.”

He managed to get his pants off while she kissed her way from his navel to his throat.

Jolie was completely crazed. Desperation clawed at her every move.

“Court,” she gasped. She managed to wedge her hand between the two of them, beneath the waistband of his briefs. Down, farther down, until she closed around him. He was huge, hot and hard. She wanted him. This minute. This second.

“Make love to me.” Her voice was hoarse. It didn’t sound like her at all. She never had to ask, plead, moan and beg. The men she’d known were only too willing. They never made her wait. They were never this patient. They never drove her crazy with need. They never pushed her over the edge. Jolie’s subconscious refused to be silent.
Court isn’t like those other men. You know that. You’ve always known that
.

She’d been waiting for Court all these years. Had he been waiting for her to grow up and see what she’d had all along?

“Court,” she whispered again, so shaken by the possibilities she could hardly connect the next thought.

“I’m here,” he whispered back. Somehow, while she’d been battling her subconscious, he’d removed both his underwear and hers.

He slid his fingers between her thighs and she opened for him, eagerly. He pressed hot and heavy against her thigh. “Oooh.” The sound came out on an expelled breath as he stroked her, again and again.

She could feel the tension building, the coil inside her twisting tighter and tighter. He spread her legs wide and changed positions. At the first shocking touch of his tongue she felt ready to spring free.

“Ahhhh,” she gasped. “Court—” Her mind seemed to spin in a million directions at once. But she was also completely focused on that place where Court’s tongue touched her. Again and again and again—

She screamed. She heard herself, marveling that she would do such a thing, amazed by the waves of sensation that washed over her, touched by the care and patience he exhibited.

She reached for Court, drew him to her. She wondered if she’d ever been this wet, this hot before. She hoped not. She wanted to be as if she’d never been with anyone like this before. For him. Just for him.

He entered her at just the right pace. Not too slow, not too fast. Savoring every second, giving her time to adjust, until he was thickly, deeply inside her.

She dug her fingers into his buttocks, holding his tight muscles. Holding him in place. She didn’t know why. Surely he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Maybe she was too afraid of losing this connection, this man, now that she’d found him.

He shifted and she drew her knees higher.

Court was perspiring with the strain of supporting his weight and holding himself in check. He stroked a palm down her thigh.

Court rolled onto his back, taking her with him. He buried his fingers in her hair and kissed her. She smiled against his lips. She had no objection to being on top.

She shifted slightly and flexed those girl muscles. His response more than pleased her.

“Like that, do you?” She straightened a bit and, as she hoped he would, he stroked her breasts and rubbed his thumbs against the sensitive peaks of her nipples.

“What’s not to like?” he answered. She moved above him, feeling the thick weight of him pulse inside her. She reached back to stroke him. He made that sound again and she grinned in the dark and explored a bit more.

“Jolieeee…”

His hands were at her waist now, trying to speed her up or slow her down, she wasn’t sure which. She abandoned her game of exploration and concentrated instead on the main event.

As soon as she lowered herself once more and found his mouth with hers, he rolled her to her back. She thought she’d pushed him to his limit and she found that concept not only arousing, but satisfying.

But she was wrong. He withdrew from her and rolled off the bed in one swift motion.

“What… Where are you going?” She heard rustling nearby, the sound of a zipper. She could barely make out his silhouette bending over his duffel bag. “Court?” she breathed out on a disappointed sigh. How could he leave her like this? Right in the middle of…?

She heard the sound of a foil packet ripping. “I think we both forgot something,” Court said. Then he was back, picking up right where he left off.

“Jolie.” His breath was hot in her ear. Their bodies were plastered together, slick with sweat. He was saying something, the words strung together, a litany of some sort, but she was out of her mind. She was very much afraid she was going to scream again. Right…about…
now
.

Chapter Nine

Exhaustion tugged at Court, but he couldn’t sleep.

Jolie had no such problem, and perhaps that was a good thing. Thank God she wasn’t one of those women who immediately felt compelled to talk about where the relationship was headed now that they’d slept together.

Slept together. He couldn’t call it that. He couldn’t think of what had occurred between him and Jolie as “sleeping together.” Unh-uh. No way.

That was what they call making love. This was full-out connectedness, tangled with emotions, mixed with history and…hope. At least for him. He reminded himself this hadn’t been part of the plan. The plan was to get over Jolie, not get more attached to her.

He lifted a lock of Jolie’s hair and let it drop. She was curled up next to him, one knee bent over his thigh, her arm across his ribs. A lump welled in his throat and he shoved it back down.

He finally had everything he wanted. Jolie telling him she loved him. Jolie making love with him, spending the night with him. For years he’d dreamt of this.

Why then did he feel so rotten?

Because he wanted to believe in Jolie, in her love. He wanted to believe she could finally see they were meant for each other. But he wasn’t convinced that had happened at all. He knew Jolie too well. Everything came easily for her. She took it as her due. She always had.

He was afraid he hadn’t been much of a conquest. He’d fallen into her trap while trying to set one of his own.

He didn’t want to be another notch on her bedpost. Another man she’d had, one she could walk away from and not think twice. He wished he was one of those guys who could have sex and not think too much about it, but he wasn’t wired that way. His feelings for Jolie ran too deep. They’d been with him for as far back as he could remember. He couldn’t discard them. Not now. Not after she’d met or exceeded every fantasy he’d ever had about her.

He hadn’t expected her to be so eager, so open, so loving. He’d expected her to lie back and be worshipped by him. Yet she’d been more than engaged in the act from beginning to end. She’d surprised him that first time. And shocked him with her enthusiasm the second time.

Slowly, carefully, Court turned to his side away from her. He had to figure this out. Somewhere along the way his plan to prove that he was over Jolie had gone horribly awry. He wanted to walk away and never look back. He hadn’t realized the cost of doing so would be so high.

Jolie woke feeling deliciously content, mildly sore in all the right places, and pressed up against the smooth skin of Court’s back. Delightful. Absolutely delightful.

She kissed him between his shoulder blades, breathing in the scent of him. She could get addicted to this, to him. Being with Court was like a high all the time.

And the sex… One could hardly call what happened last night just sex. It’d been fantastic, fulfilling, passionate, exciting. Lovemaking.

She wanted more of Court. More of the boy she couldn’t admit she’d loved as well as the man he’d become. More of them. Together. She kissed the nape of his neck and along the top of his shoulder.

Was he awake? She explored his chest with the palm of her hand, stopping when she found his nipples, to give them some extra attention.

Maybe he was pretending to be asleep.

She moved her hand lower, down over his abdomen and lower still.

Asleep or not, he was fully aroused. She smiled to herself and ran her tongue along his shoulder, sinking her teeth gently into it as she caressed him.

Her nipples tingled where they touched his skin. She wanted him again. Soon. Right now.

She climbed over him at the same time he rolled to his back. Desire, like a freight train at full speed, raced through her.

She mounted him, her mouth finding his at the same time. Where had this uncontrollable need come from? What had he done to her? She was weak and powerless against him and it scared her, even while she gave into it.

What were the chances Court felt the same way? It was scary to want to be with a man so much. She couldn’t fool herself. She’d never been truly in love before. She’d felt attraction, desire and interest of course. She’d enjoyed men’s company, their bodies, their minds. But she’d never felt so powerful or so powerless at the same time with anyone.

She was in love with Court Harrison. There was no denying it.

“Oh, Court,” she groaned near his ear as he throbbed and thrust up into her. His hands moved over her everywhere at once it seemed—her breasts, her waist, her buttocks, her throat. One of his hands slid between them, his fingers seeking her swollen bud.

She rocked against him, feeling herself spin out of control. She gasped for air, tried to maintain a grasp on reality, but she couldn’t. Court pushed her over the edge and she let herself go, noisily, as he came along with her.

She collapsed on top of him trying to catch her breath. His hands stroked up and down her back.

She felt tears sting behind her eyelids. She tried to stop them, but they pushed themselves through, dripping onto Court’s chest. Stupid. Why was she crying? She sniffed and brushed them away, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

His hand cupped the back of her head. He smoothed a tangle of hair away from her face.

“Jolie? Are you crying?”

She shook her head. “No.” Her voice was swollen and hoarse. She sniffed again, determined not to have him discover her secret guilt.

“Hey.” He placed a finger under her chin and made her look at him. “What’s the matter?”

“I shouldn’t have…”
hurt you all those years ago.
“I’m sorry…”
I walked away from you the way I did.
Her emotions were so jumbled she couldn’t put into words what she wanted to say. Only fragments blurted out. Her tears were already ruining the moment. An apology about the past would kill it. His eyes were troubled. His concern got the better of her. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, holding on tightly when his arms came around her. “I don’t know. Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

What could she say to him now?
No one’s ever made me feel the way you do? I’m in love with you, and it scares the hell out of me?

He hadn’t said a word about how he felt, after all. What if she’d misread all the signs? What if this meant nothing to him? A roll in the hay before he headed back to Atlanta. Friends with benefits. Convenient sex with no strings attached.

The thought made her sick. Other men, maybe. But not Court.

She had time. She’d figure it out. She’d almost drifted off to sleep again when Court stirred and then sat up. She snuggled deeper into the pillows. “Where are you going?”

Early morning sun spilled in through the window. Through half-slitted eyes she squinted at Court as he located his clothes and pulled them on. He didn’t answer her. Hadn’t even looked at her. “Court?”

He stopped as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. She half sat up, leaning on one elbow. “Where are you going?”

“I’ve still got to put the shutters on the windows and pull the boat out of the water. I’ll make some coffee.”

He disappeared and Jolie lay back against the pillows. She frowned. Something was wrong.

That feeling stayed with her after she got dressed and found the pot of coffee brewing in the kitchen. She poured herself a cup and wandered outside. Court had hauled the shutters out of the cellar and had started securing them over the windows.

“Can I help?”

He didn’t even look at her. “You can put the dustcovers over the furniture. They’re in the chest next to the fireplace.” He waved in the general direction without turning.

Was she being dismissed? Tears burned at the back of her eyes.
Oh sure. Now you’re going to fall apart?
she berated herself. She wanted to ask Court what was wrong. Was this the same man who’d made love to her last night? He acted like he couldn’t bear the sight of her now.

Then he wouldn’t have to. She’d stay out of his way if that’s what he wanted. She’d shut her mouth and pretend to be invisible. Inside the cabin she found the dustcovers and draped them over the furniture. She stripped the bed and tidied the kitchen.

Court was still outside. She walked down to the dock and leaned against the railing, staring into the dark green water of the lake. The sun shone brightly. A slight breeze rustled the leaves, which were just starting to dry out and turn before drifting down to join those already on the ground.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if by doing so she could absorb everything that had happened since yesterday and take it with her. Right up to the time when Court had left the bed this morning.

Again she wondered what had gone wrong. Had it been just sex to him? Had she placed more importance on what happened last night than she should have? Had she made a huge mistake, possibly the biggest mistake of her life by sleeping with Court? Because now she knew how much it was possible to want a man. To want to be with him all the time. To be truly, madly, deeply, painfully in love…and to not have that feeling returned.

The wind blew a strand of hair across her eyes and she brushed it back. She lifted her face as a flock of geese flew overhead, honking their way south for the winter. She wished she were going with them. Then she could avoid the very real possibility that Court was about to break her heart.

She turned back to the cabin. Court stood at the top of the steps. He’d been watching her. What was he thinking? She couldn’t tell by his stance. If she had to guess, she’d say he looked wary. Like he was ready to defend himself.
Against what?
she wondered as she walked toward him.

She stopped at the bottom of the steps. The fear was gone. She felt calmer and more sure of herself than she’d ever been. “I love you.” No more “I think I love you.” She knew it. Deep in her heart, where it mattered. Court might as well know it, too. She had to commit.

“Okay.”

“Okay? I say I love you and you say ‘okay’?”

Court gazed out at the lake. A sad smile played around his lips before he spoke. “Jolie, you can’t string me along the way you string along every man you’ve ever known.”

“This is different.”

That got his attention. He looked back at her. “How?”

She walked up the steps. She wanted to be on equal footing with him, to touch him, but he backed away. He leaned against the roof support and waited for her answer.

So that’s how it’s going to be. Well, tough, Court Harrison
. He could hear her out. “Last night,” she began, hating the fact that her voice shook. “I’ve never felt so connected, it’s never seemed so right with anyone. I can’t believe you didn’t feel it, too.”

He laughed. “One night with me and suddenly you’re in love. Get real, Jolie.”

“Last night wasn’t the only time we were together. I felt it ten years ago too. I think maybe I was always in love with you, but I was afraid of it for a long time. But I’m not afraid anymore. I’m sorry if you don’t believe me.”

He looked at her sadly. “I wanted to believe it. For a long, long time, I wanted to believe we were meant to be together. You were the one who didn’t.”

“But now I do!”

His sad smile came again. “What’s changed, Jolie? What’s different?”

“I’m what changed. I’m what’s different.”

“Are you sure about that? Maybe it’s just that I look different. I’m not the geek with the braces and the thick glasses anymore, am I?”

“No. But this doesn’t have anything to do with the way you look.”

“Doesn’t it? Then what does it have to do with?”

“You’re who you always were. Decent and kind. Smart and funny and intelligent. A loyal friend. Successful.”

“Ah, yes. The car.”

“Stop it. That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it? What if I was still the geek next door? The uncoordinated skinny kid with the wild hair who couldn’t see three feet in front of his nose without his glasses. What if I drove a domestic compact and dug ditches for a living? Would you still be in love with me?”

“I don’t know, Court. But it seems to me you wouldn’t have been too happy if that’s what you’d become. You’re the one who decided to be the man you are now. I didn’t have anything to do with it. But that’s the man I love. I can’t help it.”

“You had everything to do with it,” he informed her. The anger was gone now.

She stared at him. “Court, that’s ridiculous. I haven’t seen you in ten years.”

He nodded. “And ten years ago, you couldn’t see me. I was invisible unless you needed help with your homework or a shoulder to cry on.”

“What are you saying?” This was becoming like a dark reflection of her conversation with Sarah. “You became who you are because of me? Because of the way I treated you?”

He shrugged, as if he was sorry now that he’d said anything. “I wanted to be the kind of guy you’d go for, if that’s what you mean.”

“You are,” Jolie reminded him.

“But I wasn’t then,” he countered.

“You’re going to let the fact that I was a superficial girl filled with insecurities in high school ruin any chance of us being together now, is that it?”

Court faced her in stony silence.

“I take back what I said earlier. You’re not that intelligent. I admit I had a lot of shortcomings. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted. You changed on the outside but I had to change on the inside. I hurt a lot of people in the past, including you. I can apologize and I can try to make it up to you, but I can’t undo it. I can only go forward and try to be a better person than I was.

“I’m sorry if you can’t give me credit for that. I’m sorry if you don’t want to grow up and give us a chance now because I hurt you.” The tears came again and this time she let them fall. “That’s your choice to make. But you’ll end up hurting yourself, too. If I had anything to do with you becoming the man you are now, then that’s a good thing. But only a fool would throw away what we have together and you know it.

“You’re many things, Court, but until now you were never a fool.” She stormed into the cabin.