Nobody's Prize (22 page)

Lord Poseidon, forgive us,
I thought.
We didn’t have time
to go to your shrine and ask for a safe voyage. I ask that favor now, and I promise you that when we reach Mykenae, I’ll make you a worthy offering.

I rested my hands on the ship’s rail and turned my eyes toward the prow. I remembered all the voyages I’d known since leaving Sparta, chief among them the quest for the Fleece.
Where are they now?
I wondered.
Are my brothers well? Has the
Argo
brought them safely back to Iolkos? Oh, Castor, Polydeuces, I do miss you!
My thoughts painted their faces against the bright sky, and other faces, too. Hylas and Herakles, Jason and Argus, mad Medea and sweet-voiced Orpheus. Above all, Milo. When I wiped the sea’s breath from my face, it was mixed with tears.

The voyage from Athens to Tiryns was pleasant enough, though I missed the freedom I’d enjoyed when I’d traveled disguised as a boy. My new identity was Telys’s younger sister. Telys, his mother, and I agreed that I’d keep my given name for simplicity’s sake.

As the daughter of a humble but respectable family, I couldn’t speak to strangers. Thankfully, my “mother” and “brother” didn’t have to live by such rules, so by the time we neared Tiryns they’d made friends with the two merchants aboard our vessel.

“They’re heading to Mykenae, too,” Telys told me one day as we watched a flock of gulls dive for fish in our ship’s wake. “They said we can travel there with them.”

“That’s a stroke of luck,” I said. “I guess Artemis
really
wants you to know she’s forgiven you for that lie.”

Telys looked sheepish. “I
did
dream about her. Last night. I was scared at first, afraid she was going to curse me for what I’d done. But all she did was look at me and laugh.”

“Maybe sometimes it’s
good
to have the gods laugh at us,” I said.

The ship landed at Tiryns the next morning and we set out for Mykenae with the merchants and their trade goods. After the ease of our voyage, the overland trek to Mykenae was a trial. The only diversion we had turned out to be unwelcome: One of the merchants developed an annoying attraction for me. When I ignored him, as a modest maiden of good family should do, he persisted. The road to Mykenae became a strand of days filled with gifts, sighs, languishing looks, and the occasional love song. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

“I almost feel sorry for that man,” Telys’s mother said one evening as we made camp. “I think he loves you very much. He’s breaking his heart over you, child.”

“Is that supposed to make me love him? Suppose I
did
marry him, just because he wouldn’t stop pestering me until I gave in. Imagine that another man arrives, years later, and he’s breaking his heart over me as well. What am I supposed to do then? Run away with the new pest?” I shook my head. “Is love just a matter of badgering someone until you get your own way, like a spoiled child? If that’s so, Aphrodite ought to carry a hammer as a warning.” Telys’s mother didn’t say another word on behalf of my exasperating suitor after that.

One blessed morning, our group emerged from a grove of trees high on a hill and saw a most welcome sight: the city of Mykenae. “We’ll be there well before nightfall,” Telys said, shading his eyes and gauging the distance. “It looks like easy going from here, downhill and then fairly level land until we reach the city heights.”

I sighed happily and said a prayer of thanks to Hermes for having guided us well. I wanted to hike up my skirt and race across the plain to the citadel gate. Already I saw myself embracing my sister, Clytemnestra, and my heart ached to make that vision real.

When we reached the outskirts of the city, spread out below the slopes of the royal stronghold, my impatience got the better of me. I didn’t run, but unconsciously I began to add speed to my stride, until I was rushing ahead of the rest of the group. Telys and his mother were too busy staring at everything around them to notice. Before I knew it, I’d left everyone behind.

As I climbed the hill toward the Lion Gate, my mind raced faster than my feet. A practical voice inside my head spoke up, saying,
Slow down, Helen! Do you think the guardsmen at the gate are just going to stand to one side and let you through unchallenged? They don’t know who you are. If you proclaim that you’re the queen’s sister, they’ll probably burst out laughing. No princess arrives on foot, covered with the dust of the road.

I didn’t want to listen to common sense. All I wanted was to see my sister again. I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything stop me.

As I ran, my eyes skimmed the faces of the people I passed. Had there been so many soldiers in the streets when Lord Thyestes ruled? Was the new king, Lord Agamemnon, so insecure that he needed to put more troops around him, like human armor? When I reached the towering stone gateway, would these men try to keep me from seeing Clytemnestra? I scowled at each warrior I passed, yet as I did, I noticed that not all of them were Mykenaeans. Their garb, their hair, the shape of their shields and the decorations painted on them, all stirred my memory. Here and there I saw a face I thought I recognized.

“Helen! Helen!”

I heard a voice ring out through the Lion Gate, a voice I thought I’d never hear again until Lord Hades’ ferryman, Charon, carried my own spirit across the river Styx into the land of the dead. Sandaled feet came pounding down the path from the royal stronghold and a shouting, flying blur struck me so hard that it was more like an attack than an embrace. And through it all, my ears filled with the joyous, familiar sound of my name being called out again and again:
“Helen! Helen! Helen!”

I pushed him back to arm’s length and stared into his eyes, afraid that one word would break the spell and send his ghost wailing back into the Underworld. But I couldn’t stay silent forever.

“Milo?” I whispered, shaking. He grinned and nodded happily in spite of the bandage binding his head. “Oh,
Milo
!”

I hugged Milo tight and tighter, unable to let him go, until a new hand closed gently on my shoulder and I heard a beloved voice murmur tenderly, “May all the gods be praised, this is a miracle.”

I released Milo and turned to look into my father’s face. He closed his arms around me, and though I was still far from Sparta, I was home.

         
15
         

IN THE HOUSE OF AGAMEMNON

My father, my sister, and I sat together in the queen’s apartments. How strange, to look at my sister and realize that now she
was
a queen. We spoke in low voices, our eyes on the slave women who drifted in and out of our sight on silent feet. I got the feeling that their main purpose was not to bring us food, pour our wine, sweep the floor, or fuss over the queen’s belongings. They were the ears of Agamemnon, but we didn’t have to make it easy for them to hear.

“He’s clever, your new husband,” Father said to Clytemnestra very, very softly. “He offers to let us have time alone to ourselves, but makes certain that he’ll know everything we say or do.”

“That’s his mistake,” I replied, also in a nearly inaudible voice.

“And who’s a better authority on mistakes than you, Helen?” Clytemnestra said tartly. “When that boy of yours came stumbling up to the Lion Gate, babbling about how you’d been taken captive in Athens, the gods must have been protecting him like a priceless jewel. If one of Father’s men hadn’t been there and recognized him, my husband’s soldiers would have struck him down.”

“Milo is not my
boy,
” I responded sharply, striving to keep from shouting in Clytemnestra’s face. “He’s my friend.”

“I’m sure he is.” How
could
I have forgotten my sister’s mastery of the insufferable smile?

“Girls, girls, please.” Father reached out and took our hands. “Is this how we thank the gods for having brought us together again?”

“I’m sorry, Father,” Clytemnestra mumbled. “I didn’t mean to say that. I rejoice to see Helen again.” She clasped my other hand. “I’m just—just a little nervous lately. It makes me prickly.”

“I understand.” I lowered my eyes and gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. “I heard what happened to your husband, Prince Tanta—”

“Shh!” She tensed sharply, her hands clenching. “Lord Agamemnon is my husband now.”

“I marched north with my men as soon as word reached Sparta about how things had…
changed
in Mykenae,” Father murmured. “We received too many conflicting reports about what was happening here. I couldn’t stand by, waiting to hear about my child’s fate. I had to come, to see that she was well and happy. If not…” He didn’t bother elaborating. We all knew that if anything had happened to Clytemnestra, Mykenae and Sparta would be at war.

“Are you happy, Clytemnestra?” I asked. I didn’t know whether or not she’d been happy with Prince Tantalus, but I wasn’t concerned with the past. I cared about the life my sister had to live
now.

She lowered her eyes. “Lord Agamemnon has been very kind to me, very gentle and loving. The alliance between Sparta and Mykenae can go on.”

“But are you
happy
?” I pressed.

Father spoke before my sister could reply. “Everything is settled here, Helen. I’ve recognized Lord Agamemnon’s right to the throne of Mykenae. My men and I would have returned home by now if he hadn’t insisted on marking our new kinship with one grand banquet after another. I wanted to get back to Sparta, but it seems that the gods had their reasons for keeping us here.”

“You mean for Milo’s sake?” I asked. Then I laughed. “He walks with luck. I thought he’d been killed.”

“He told us all about what happened that night,” Father said. “He was knocked senseless and took a bloody head wound, but there was no deep harm done. The widow you’d lodged with bandaged him up and spirited him off to her brother’s house in case the king’s guards came back.”

“Father, I want to reward that woman,” I said.

“That was my intention, too. I meant to do it as soon as I’d rescued you from Athens.” He patted my head, as if I were still a little child. “Now I see that you need no one’s help.”

I smiled. “No, Father, sometimes I do. There were many times in my travels that I was grateful to have it.” And with that, I began to tell my father and sister about my adventures.

Five days later, Milo vanished. At first I thought nothing of it. As happy as we were to be together again, we often found that after our first reunion, many things forced us to spend our days apart.

Meals were a problem. The closer we came to leaving Mykenae, the more my sister clung to me. She insisted I share her rooms, which also meant sharing our daylight meals. She would have tolerated Milo’s company, but by order of Lord Agamemnon himself, the queen’s quarters were forbidden to any man outside her family. When darkness fell, Milo still had to eat in the palace kitchen, while I attended the nightly feasts Lord Agamemnon gave in the great hall to celebrate my arrival. Though Milo was my dearest friend, he was still a freed slave. There could be no room for him at Lord Agamemnon’s table.

Other matters also conspired to separate us. Father put Milo to work running errands as we all prepared for the journey home. Though I swore I’d be able to cover the distance on foot, the same as our men, or riding beside Father in his war chariot, or even on horseback, if a horse could be acquired for me, Father insisted that I’d travel in the style suitable for a princess.

As for me, I had certain tasks to see to before we left Mykenae, above all repaying Telys and his mother for their kindness. With the help of Prince Menelaus, they joined the household of the freeborn potter who supplied the best families in Mykenae. When I thanked the king’s brother for using his influence to help reward my friends, he became flustered.

“I did nothing,” he said, not meeting my eyes. “That woman has a talent for painting, and her son—” He hesitated a moment, then earnestly asked me, “When you traveled with those people, was he—was he
respectful
? He didn’t try to—that is—I heard that you pretended to be his sister. Did he treat you like a sister? Always, I mean?”

I was mystified by so many odd questions. “Of course. Why do you ask?”

“Oh! Oh, no reason. It’s just that you’re so beautiful, I don’t know how he could have—Never mind. Telys is a virtuous man. It will be my honor to make him my friend, if he’ll let me. And I promise you, Lady Helen, that I’ll gladly continue to look after him and his mother…for your sake.”

“Um…thank you,” I replied, still puzzled.

Prince Menelaus also helped me when my thoughts turned to Milo’s future. I remembered what my friend had told me about wanting to become a merchant, like the Corinthian who would have carried us from Athens. I determined to make Milo’s ambition come true.

I shared my intentions with Prince Menelaus, since he’d been so gracious helping me reward Telys and his mother. He sent for the two merchants who’d accompanied us from Tiryns. I admit I was glad when only the younger of the pair appeared, and
not
my unsuccessful suitor. It spared us both some awkward moments.

The younger merchant beamed when he saw me. “So it
is
true,” he exclaimed, taking in my royal garb, a gift from Lord Agamemnon. Once again my gown was bright with gloriously colored patterns, my tiered skirts jingling with precious ornaments. “You
are
a princess. When you traveled with us, we thought you were no more than an ordinary girl, though I must say, there was never anything ordinary about your loveliness.”

“Enough of that.” Prince Menelaus gave him a stormy look. “The lady Helen of Sparta wants to question you. She wants answers, not insolence.”

“It’s all right,” I said quickly, wondering why such a mild-mannered man as Prince Menelaus had turned suddenly stern over a trifling bit of flattery. “There’s a kind of kinship between travelers. I don’t think he’s being insolent at all.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” the merchant reassured us. He was carrying a polished olive-wood box, which he set at my feet. Opening the lid, he took out a long-handled mirror, very much like the one my mother owned, and offered it to me. “Noble Lady Helen, why should you be the only one unable to enjoy the gift of beauty you give to all the world?”

I took the mirror from his hands and looked into the circle of polished bronze. How long had it been since I’d last seen my own face? I recalled sharp features, harsh lines, the same awkward angles that had taken over my childish body and turned it into a gawky, gangling thing. But now…

I knew my body had changed again. I’d learned to master my long limbs, to move with the grace that successful swordsmanship demanded. I’d also experienced changes that made passing as a boy more than a simple matter of throwing on a tunic. Now, gazing into the mirror, I saw that my body wasn’t the only place where new curves and softness had made me a stranger to myself.

“Does my poor gift please you, Lady Helen?” the merchant asked.

Before I could answer, Prince Menelaus declared, “If Lady Helen likes it, it will be
my
gift to her. You will receive its weight in silver before you leave the palace, I promise you.”

The merchant looked stricken. “Mighty prince, I didn’t come here intending to make a profit. I only wanted to make the lady Helen smile.”

“You don’t need to concern yourself with Lady Helen’s smiles,” Prince Menelaus snapped. “You heard what I said. If she likes the mirror, she’ll accept it from
me.
”

“I’ll take nothing from anyone.” I put the mirror back in the box and looked at the merchant. “This isn’t about gifts, it’s about the future of a dear friend of mine.” I told the merchant about Milo as briefly as I could, including his bravery in defending me that night in Athens. I ended by asking, “If you agree to help him, will you promise me not to think of him as a former slave?”

The younger merchant laughed. “Only if he promises not to think of me as the son of a former slave. But tell me, does this Milo have a bandaged head?”

I nodded. “He was wounded trying to save me.”

“Ah, well then, I’m afraid he’s been too fast for you, Lady Helen. He came to us two days ago and said he’d heard we were the ones who’d brought you safely to Mykenae. He wanted to thank us. He thinks very highly of you.
Very
highly indeed.” He winked at me, in spite of Prince Menelaus’s scowl. “He’s also quite the clever lad. By the time he left us, he’d convinced my partner to take him on as a student of our trade. They left yesterday for Corinth. If he’s half as good at swaying customers as he was at persuading us—”

I didn’t hear the rest. I picked up my skirts and ran from the room, my bare feet pelting through the palace halls until I found my father. He was seated in an inner courtyard where violets bloomed and the sweet scent of a green myrtle tree perfumed the air.

“Milo’s gone!” I cried, throwing my arms around my father’s neck. “He’s gone, and he never even told me good-bye!”

“You’re wrong, dear one,” Father said. “He did tell you good-bye. He just couldn’t say it to you himself. He came to me two days ago to let me know he’d been given a wonderful chance, the chance to make a new life for himself, and he was going to take it.” He stroked my hair. “I understand why you’re upset, but this is for the best. I wish I knew why the gods play tricks on us. That boy has an honorable spirit and a brave heart. If he’d been born into a noble family, even if it weren’t a royal one, I wouldn’t mind having you marry—”

“Marry!”
I stared at him. “Father, I love Milo dearly, but as a friend, nothing more.”

“Is that so? And does he know it?” I nodded firmly. My father sat back and stroked his beard. “Then perhaps his departure really is for the best…for him.”

I nestled against my father’s chest and he put one arm around me. I was aching with misery. “Is that why he left?” I asked. “Because I didn’t care for him the way he cared for me?”

“I think that was a part of it,” my father replied. “Don’t brood about it, child. Only Aphrodite can change what we feel in our hearts.”

“I hope he’ll be happy,” I murmured. “I pray Aphrodite will help him find someone who loves him as much as he loves her.”

“That’s a good prayer.” Father gave me a hug and stood up. “Now let’s find her shrine, and make sure she hears it.”

I smiled sadly. “Don’t the gods hear our prayers wherever we are?”

“Yes, but I think it’s best to speak with them in their own houses and bring them a little gift when you
really
want them to pay attention to what you’ve got to say.”