North Dakota Weddings (54 page)

If anything, he should have said Rayne’s name, because he’d thought often of the moment he’d almost kissed her.

Could he actually have said Rayne’s name? Not good. The idea that he wasn’t in control of any facet of his life, even dreaming, scared him.

Shaking off the thoughts, he made coffee, and while it brewed, he showered and dressed.

Scrambling eggs, he thought about the fountain models he’d seen yesterday. A few days away from the office left him feeling unsure about how the project was progressing. Anxious to see what Rayne had come up with, he’d gone into the office and looked at her computer models of the fountain.

Something was missing from her design. Jack knew it took more than one person to create a water sculpture, but he also knew that Rayne had more to give than she put into the model.

Substandard work wasn’t acceptable on Jack’s team. Joining FountainTech, he felt like his yacht had finally come in, but right now it was springing a lot of little leaks, one of which was Barb. Why couldn’t he take this company where he wanted it go to without people issues?

Jack blew out a breath. As he had told Rayne, there would always be office politics—the human element. He’d been avoiding Rayne because he had to stanch the flow of feelings he had for her, and now he would have to avoid Barb because she apparently liked him. Jack had not prepared for these types of obstacles in his plan for creating the world’s best water sculptures. He couldn’t very well call Barb on her lack of professionalism, because he had the same problem. At least he was that honest.

Thankfully, his eggs were done. He had twenty minutes to eat and make it to Heidi’s church, which started at ten thirty. After finishing his breakfast, he pulled the curtains back and stared out at the snow-laden landscape. Another gray, empty day lay ahead of him.

It reminded him of his life. He chugged the rest of his coffee to warm his insides, but the warmth couldn’t penetrate deep enough. At that moment, Jack recognized that something was missing in his life. He sensed it, just like he’d sensed something amiss in Rayne’s design. But what was it?

He tugged on his coat and mentally prepared himself to step into the cold. Then he knew what was missing… .

Jack stepped outside into the frigid North Dakota air. The day was gray and cloudy, devoid of light. Just like his soul.

He followed the directions he’d found on the Fargo Community Church website. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d been out and about on a Sunday morning. Traffic was minimal, offering a stress-free and peaceful drive. If he wasn’t on his way to church, he might enjoy taking in the scenery.

But he was a man on a twofold mission. This morning he was missing two things in his life, though he wasn’t completely prepared to admit to either. Feeling as if he had an enormous, dark cavern inside, he recognized that he might need to exercise some spiritual muscle if he wanted to get in shape. After all, he went to the gym and played racquetball to keep himself physically healthy. Any idiot had to know that the same held true for the inside of a person.

He’d been an idiot for too long already.

Jack pressed against the seat back, not certain he was ready for this.

At least he was taking a first step in going to church, right? If he was recalling it correctly, there was a saying that went, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” He hoped that God could see that he was at least making an effort.

Just outside of Fargo, Jack began scanning the roadside. There. The Fargo Community Church sign seemed to smile at him from the left side of the road. After waiting for a truck to pass, he turned into the parking lot and drove slowly, looking for an empty spot. His palms grew sweaty against the steering wheel, especially when people stared at him as they headed across the parking lot toward the church. They must be curious about the visitor.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

Jack found a parking spot near the exit. Good. He could leave quickly if needed. Swiping his hands down his slacks, he tugged on his gloves for the short jaunt to the church doors. Someone opened one of the double doors for him as he approached, and he rushed through, uttering his thanks through white, cloudy breath.

The gentleman offered him a church bulletin and silently pointed toward the sanctuary. Someone was already speaking to the gathering, so Jack slipped in and, after spotting a vacant place in a pew, crept over to the space. A family with three small children peered at him, the mother smiling as one of her children crawled onto her lap.

A quick scan of the large room told him there were about two hundred people attending. While the man at the pulpit gave the announcements, Jack perused the bulletin, hoping to ignore the inquisitive stares, but he really wanted to look around himself. Was Rayne here?

He should have thought to look for her car.

Guilt slid around his neck, tightening, because he knew that Rayne shouldn’t be his reason for going to church. Feeling the heat, Jack realized he’d not removed his coat and attempted to slip out of it without drawing too much attention. While he did, he took the opportunity to gaze around the church, searching.

He caught the back of Heidi’s head near the front, he thought. A few other familiar faces from when he’d gone ice-skating were scattered throughout the sanctuary. Recognizing a few of the congregants gave him a measure of peace, and he relaxed against the pew, ready to listen.

Except, where was Rayne?

A lively tune sprang from the band up front; then everyone stood. Jack followed suit, and though he only knew a few of the songs, he did his best to fit in. After what seemed to Jack like an eternity, the worship ended and the gathering took its seats once again.

From the bulletin, Jack learned that Pastor Luke would be preaching today. Jack frowned, remembering that he should have brought a Bible. Fortunately, the church kept a copy of the book in the racks on the pews. He tugged a New American Standard Bible from the back of the pew in front of him and opened it up to 1 Samuel 16.

Jack couldn’t seem to wipe the frown from his face. He really missed Rayne, wanted—no, needed—to see her this morning. Could he ignore his disappointment long enough to hear the sermon?

Pastor Luke told the story about how God chose a shepherd boy to rule over Israel while he was yet a small boy. God overlooked his older brothers to choose the youngest and most insignificant of Jesse’s gang because God looks at the heart.

The pastor read from 1  Samuel 16:7. “ ‘But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” ’ ”

Jack rubbed his chin, considering the words. What exactly did God see in Jack’s heart? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. So far, over the years, ignoring the pain he felt inside had worked for him. That is, until this morning.

As he allowed the words to sink deeper, he thought of Rayne. Again. Whatever attracted him to her, he knew, came from what was inside her. What was in her heart.

The realization made him smile. He was deep in thought when the church service finally ended and he stood, gathering his coat. The couple next to him shook his hand and welcomed him.

“Jack, so good to see you here.” Heidi reached across the pew between them to grab his hand. With her other hand, she gripped the smaller fingers of a beautiful little girl with blond curls and Heidi’s soft green eyes.

He smiled back at Heidi and the little girl, who he assumed was her daughter. “I’m glad I came,” he said, and glanced over Heidi’s head, searching the dispersing crowd.

“I’m guessing that you’re looking for Rayne.” An amused smile played on her lips.

He pinned her with his gaze. “And what makes you say that?”

“Are you denying it?”

Jack laughed. “I guess I can’t hide anything from you.”

Heidi ran her palm over her daughter’s hair, affection in her gaze. “She’s not here. Maybe if she knows you’re coming, she’ll come, too.”

“I don’t know if that’s the right reason for anyone to go to church, is it?” he asked, a frown grazing his lips. Hadn’t he come in part to see Rayne?

Heidi sighed. “No, but in Rayne’s case, she often drives all the way out to her old church. She has such deep roots there, it’s hard for her to let go and find a new church family.”

“I see.” Jack stuck the Bible into the back of the pew. “It was nice to see you, Heidi.”

“You, too, Jack.” Heidi’s attentions were quickly drawn away by her little girl.

Sweet
. What would it be like to have a wife and child of his
own?
If he married Rayne, would their daughter have Rayne’s infinitely thoughtful eyes?

A longing gushed through
him
. Coming to church today hadn’t solved anything, but instead seemed to magnify the hole in his life. Now the emptiness had become a gaping abyss.

A sudden thirst gripped Jack, and he headed to the water fountain. He strongly suspected this thirst couldn’t be quenched with water.

M
onday morning, Rayne perused the fountain model she’d developed last week, utterly disappointed in it, though it wasn’t near being complete.

She’d arrived at her usual hour earlier than the rest of her coworkers so she could focus and organize her thoughts. The time she’d spent with Paul on Saturday morning was still fresh in her mind, his request that she return home still tugging at her heartstrings.

But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t seem to push aside her giddiness—Jack would be back in the office today. Yet Jack was her boss. Her excitement over seeing him again was completely inappropriate, but it remained nonetheless.

A frown slipped into the corner of her mouth. What would Jack think of her fountain? His opinion of her and her creations had become too important to her.

“Knock, knock,” Heidi said, leaning into her office. “I hope I’m not disturbing you. You looked engrossed.”

Turning away from the computer screen, Rayne looked at Heidi and smiled. “No, you’re fine. What are you doing here so early?”

“Had some things to catch up on. I thought better earlier than later. You?”

“Oh, this is my usual time. So, what’s up?”

“Nothing, really. Just that several people asked about you at church yesterday. Ever think you’ll visit again?”

“I will. I promise.” Rayne couldn’t think of a reason why she hadn’t, at the moment.

“I’m not trying to pry.” Heidi’s smile brightened. “It’s great that you can at least show up at some of the functions. Everyone loves you.”

“Thanks for letting me know.” Rayne smiled.

“Guess who showed up yesterday.”

“I really couldn’t say.” Rayne edged her gaze back to her computer.

Heidi looked down the hall then leaned forward, talking softly. “Jack. Can you believe it?”

“Huh.” Rayne tried to look unfazed, like it wasn’t any of her business because, of course, it wasn’t. She wasn’t going to be like Barb, throwing herself at the man.

“He asked about you.”

Jack asked about her? What did Heidi mean, specifically? Did she dare ask for details? Rayne considered what to say next.

Heidi made a face. “I’ll catch you later.” She disappeared before Rayne could respond.

Jack stepped into her office. “You’re here. Good.” He shut the door behind him and sat in the chair across from her.

“I see you made it back alive.” Rayne chuckled then looked at the model on her computer, hoping to muffle her pounding heart.

“And why wouldn’t I?” Jack asked, teasing in his voice.

The sound of it sent tendrils of pleasure up Rayne’s spine. She wished she could open a window so the rush of cold air could slap sense into her.

“How did your meeting with the client go? I assume you’ll be briefing everyone today.”

“Not as well as I had hoped.”

His blatant honesty surprised her. Usually people liked to brag about their work, make everything they did sound successful. She faced him and locked her gaze on his eyes. His gorgeous eyes. “What do you mean?”

Jack was the first to break away. Averting his gaze, he looked down and studied his hands. “I took the wrong person with me.”

Rayne held her breath. She thought that was a given. “I’m sure you don’t mean that. Barb is exceptionally—”

“Talented.” Jack cleared his throat. “Yes, I know.”

Between the lines, what was Jack saying? Had something happened between them? Rayne wanted to scream, because she couldn’t possibly voice these questions. It was none of her business. Yet Jack was in her office, saying much more than he should, she suspected.

“What are you telling me, Jack?”

“I think I could have accomplished more for the client if you had been with me.” He glanced at her computer screen, which continued to show the model of the fountain. “You see things differently than others. I’m confident that if you’d visited the site, breathed the air, and viewed the skyline, your creative genius would have kicked in.”

Rayne raised her chin in a slow nod. “Ah, now I understand. You’ve seen my model.”

“Yes, I’ve seen it.”

Tension spread through her shoulders. She’d let Jack down.

“My comment has nothing to do with your fountain. I knew I made a mistake about the trip to Dallas before I came in on Saturday morning to see your model.” He gave her a soft, reassuring smile.

She relaxed against the chair back, feeling some of her composure return. So Jack still believed in her. “You came in on Saturday just to see it?” The news stunned Rayne. While she was breakfasting with Paul, Jack was looking at her design without her. “I wish I had known.”

Jack looked at the clock on the wall. “Listen, Rayne. After being gone for a few days, I’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

With a glance down at her blouse, his eyes lingered, making warmth creep into Rayne’s cheeks. She hung on to the breath in her lungs.

“And since you don’t have coffee on your shirt today, can you join me for lunch?” He gave her a lopsided grin.