Not For Me (5 page)

After talking to Maya, she’d reflected that this whole thing
was
incredibly silly. Sure, her bookshelf was crappy, but she could buy a better one. Yet he was going to make one for her, and she was going to watch him. Still, they were just friends. Nothing more. No matter how good he looked in the blue polo shirt he was wearing this afternoon.

“Where do your parents live?” she asked.

“Etobicoke.”

“What did you tell them about me?”

“I just said I was bringing a friend,” he said. “Actually, I have a question for you. Why do you think I’m right for Maya?”

“Just a good feeling. Sixth sense, I guess. And you’re the kind of nice guy who could make a woman who’s down on love change her mind.”

“That’s a tall order.”

“I have faith in you.” It made her practically giddy when she thought about him and Maya together. It would work out. She was sure of it. “I think you’re an all-around good guy, but also very sexy. Masculine.”

“You’re calling me sexy?” His eyes crinkled with amusement.

She turned to look at him. Yeah, she was, and it was a completely accurate description. “Well, sure. And I bet you’re very sweet in a relationship. Not just last-minute red roses and chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Thoughtful presents and romance more than one day a year.” She might appreciate his physical attributes—and lots of other things—but it did not mean anything as far as the two of them were concerned. No, it did not. “
Maya
, you see…she has this thing for bad boys, and it hasn’t worked out well for her. You, on the other hand, don’t need to be reformed.”

“Thanks for the ego stroke. You don’t…think I’m too shy?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Though you are a bit shy about approaching women, and Maya has bad taste, so you wouldn’t otherwise date. But it’s so perfect. And your condo is, honestly, quite lovely—I can see why you wanted to show it to me. You have your own business, and you work hard but not
too
hard. You have a lot of practical skills. Really, I’m not sure why women aren’t crawling all over you.”

“When I hear you talk about me, I wonder the same thing. But I’m curious—what exactly are those practical skills?”

“You can cook. At least, you can cook one dish—I guess I don’t know more than that. And you can fix things, right? Plus carpentry—that’s cool. I bet you’re good in bed, too.”

Whoa
. She hadn’t meant to say that, although she bet it was true. But she had most certainly
not
given it much thought.

He was silent and coloring slightly. Oh dear.

She put a hand to her mouth. “Forget I said that.”

“I’m not going to.” There was a mischievous glint in his eye now. “I’m curious to know why you say that.”

“I don’t know.” She turned to look out her window.

“You’re not getting off that easy, Kristy.”

“Well, your massages are amazing. And…”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to answer,” he said quickly. “I was kidding. I’ll let you off easy because I’m a nice guy, as you say.”

“No, no,” she said, still talking to the window. “I’ll tell you. I imagine you’d be very attentive to your partner, and you’d be very…thorough.”

“Thorough.” Grant laughed. “You think I’m
thorough
in bed.”

“Yes. And I bet you have good control.”

It was inevitable that she was thinking of being in bed with him right now. He would take his time. He would say sweet things, but occasionally throw in some toe-curling dirty talk. She imagined him stripping her naked, stroking her until she was desperate to have him inside of her, and then…

It was half a minute before he said, “As I haven’t had sex in a very long time, I doubt I would have good control. Though what exactly did you mean?”

Okay, she could work with that. It might be quick, but it would be damn good, and the second time—

“What’s on your mind?” He smirked. “You’re awful quiet.”

“Nothing,” she snapped.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“I am
not
thinking about having sex with you.”

Oops
.

He gave her a scorching look that only served to inflame her imagination. “Oh? You sound awful guilty to me.”

“What about you? You better not be thinking of being on top of me.”

“No, I was thinking of being under you,” he said. “But I kid. Though men do think about sex every seven seconds.”

“I’m sure that’s a myth.”

“I don’t know about that.” Long silence. “I’m focusing on the road. That’s what I’m thinking about.”

She tried to do the same, even though she wasn’t driving.

And she was having some success until he said, “Ever had sex in a car?”

“No!” she said indignantly.

“You’re a terrible liar. You’d make a terrible criminal. I would know.”

“I thought you were supposed to be paying attention to the road.”

“Don’t worry, I am,” he said. “You’re just too much fun.” He ran his tongue over his upper lip. Then his jaw tightened, and he said nothing until they pulled up in front of his parents’ place, a fairly ordinary suburban house. “If you were wondering, I’ve had sex in a car but not since high school. Though it’s a bit cramped, it does the job.”

He got out of the car before she could respond.

She followed him to the front door, and she did not look back at the car and wonder what the best way to have sex with him in it would be. He could sit in the backseat, and she could straddle him. After all, he’d said he was thinking of being under her…

No, she was definitely not thinking about any of that.

By the time she reached the front door, Grant’s parents were already outside. They exchanged smirks when they saw her.

“I thought you were bringing a friend,” his dad said. “Not a girlfriend.” He looked nothing like Grant, except that he, too, had a mustache.

“This is my
friend
, Kristy,” Grant said. “Kristy, my parents. Arthur and Lynne.”

Kristy figured she should spend as little time as possible alone with Grant in the garage. Much as she’d enjoyed the conversation in the car, it would not be a good idea to continue it. So when Lynne suggested Kristy have coffee with them on the patio because really, watching Grant work a circular saw wouldn’t be very interesting, she gladly agreed. And emphasized that she was just a friend.

“Grant never had any female friends,” Arthur said. “You know, in engineering he doesn’t meet many women. Are you—”

“Just friends, as she says,” Grant snapped.

So who looks like a bad liar now?

No, they really were friends, and that banter in the car was just goofing around. Still, she should probably try not to spend too much time alone with him.

* * * *

Grant had been at work in the garage for an hour, and there was still no sign of Kristy. She’d really been having coffee with his parents for that long? He could join them, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to endure his parents’ jokes about her because he’d probably blush and make an ass of himself. He hadn’t brought a woman home for years, so they’d been gearing up for this for a long time. That she wasn’t his girlfriend would only make it worse.

He took off his safety goggles, wiped his brow, and went to the tool rack to get a ruler. Then he gave himself a five-minute breather to think about Kristy.

Who had been thinking about having sex with him—she really was a terrible liar—while he was thinking about the same thing. More often than every seven seconds.

She thinks I’d be good in bed
. He grinned. Oh, he’d make sure it was amazing for her, if she ever gave him the chance.

His father opened the side door to the garage, and he jumped.

“If you’re taking a break, why don’t you join us?”

“I was about to get back to work.” Grant dropped his goggles over his eyes.

His dad came over to him. “I still don’t believe she’s just a friend. If that were true, she wouldn’t spend an hour talking to your parents.”

“She likes to talk. She likes people.” Grant’s shrug was accompanied by a smile because his dad thought she had something more than friendship on her mind.

“I knew it.” His dad ripped off his goggles. “So what’s really going on? Are you together?”

“Unfortunately not. She’s set on me going out with her friend.”

“Do me a favor and ask her out because your mom loves her, and we’re not getting any younger.”

Yeah, Grant didn’t want to be reminded of that.

“Mom would love any woman I brought home because she’s been worrying it would never happen again,” he said. “But it’s complicated because of the friend.”

“Just do it. And come get one of her cookies before I eat them all.”

“So that’s why you want me to ask her out.”

The cookies sure were delicious. Grant joined his parents and Kristy for a few minutes, and Kristy apologized profusely for not helping him. He suspected she’d stayed clear of him because she was embarrassed about their conversation in the car. Fortunately, being around his parents made it easy not to think about sex.

He was feeling more confident that it wasn’t all one-sided now. And there had been that moment on Wednesday. He would speak up on the car ride home. At the very least, he needed to make it clear he couldn’t go on a date with Maya.

“I didn’t get to tell any of my favorite stories about you,” his mom said. “Apparently Jon beat me to it. You have to bring women home sooner.”

“Oh, we’re not together.” Kristy looked up at Grant and smiled. He wondered how many times she’d said that.

“You should be. You’d make such a cute couple.”

Kristy jumped up. “I’ll come help you now, Grant.”

“Sure.” He wanted to escape this awkward conversation, too.

She followed him around the house. “I think my father owns a single screwdriver, and my mom’s probably used it more than he has. Come to think of it, he owns a hammer as well, but I only remember it being used to open coconuts and squash.”

“I’ll have the shelf finished next weekend,” Grant said once they were in the garage. He looked around for a second set of goggles.

“Your parents are really nice, but they’re super keen on us being a couple.” She came over to him and inspected the tools hanging on the back wall. “I’m far too short for you—I only come up to your shoulder. Maya’s several inches taller than me.”

“So what else makes me wrong for you but right for Maya?” He handed her a pair of goggles.

“You keep asking me to explain it, but I can’t. It’s just a feeling I have. Plus I tend to go out with men who are completely lacking in practical skills.”

“Don’t tell me you like men who are bad in the sack.”

“No, no. Not
those
practical skills, but all the other ones, though sometimes I date men who can cook.” She put on the goggles. “Let’s do this. And don’t worry about getting it done next weekend. Maybe your date will go well and you won’t have time.” She winked.

He was positive no one had ever winked at him through safety goggles before. She managed to look cute in them, even though they were hideous.

But he couldn’t say anything to Kristy today. It wouldn’t work because she was so excited to set him up with Maya. Instead, he’d tell Maya he liked Kristy and ask her what to do. He hoped Maya wouldn’t be too disappointed. Perhaps he could offer to find someone else for her. Play matchmaker. Ha.

“What are you laughing at?” Kristy said.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

He couldn’t help but smile.

Monday evening Grant polished his dress shoes, ironed all his shirts (some of which didn’t need to be ironed), and considered minor changes to his filing system. He also spent far too long playing stupid games on the computer. All to avoid a phone call.

But if he wanted Kristy, he needed to do it. Just before nine, he sat down at his desk and got it over with.

After the necessary greetings, there was silence. This was when he was supposed to be asking Maya out. Finally he managed, “I’m sure you’re quite nice, and I’m very sorry, but—”

“Thank God,” she said. “Kristy’s so excited about this whole thing, but I don’t think I’m ready.”

He breathed out deeply. So far, so good. He’d been afraid she was pumped up about this blind date, though admittedly, having a woman excited about meeting him would be rather flattering.

“Is it because you like Kristy? I can’t imagine you would have gone through all that for any other reason.”

So in the end, he didn’t even have to say that part out loud. “Yes, that’s why.”

“This is what we’ll do,” Maya said. “We’ll go out for an hour this weekend—or we can pretend we went out—and I’ll tell her we didn’t hit it off. She won’t let me get away with saying I’m not interested without having met you. So we have to say we went on a date. Then later you can ask her out.”

“Do you—” He breathed.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi
. “Do you think she’ll say yes?”

“I think so, once she knows I’m not interested. She can’t stop talking about how amazing you are, and it’s not just because she talks a lot. Allison was convinced of it from the beginning.”

All that ironing and polishing for nothing. He shouldn’t have worried because this was going exactly how he wanted it to.

“But there’s her two-month rule,” Maya said. “Maybe you should wait a little while, even though it’s silly. She also doesn’t think you’re her type.”

“So she told me. And you think that might—”

“Maybe. I’m not sure.”
Almost
exactly how he wanted it to go. “I’ll try to convince her otherwise.”

“Thanks.”

“I have to tell you,” she said, “I don’t like mustaches at all, and I understand you have one. But Kristy said it suited you, and that you were quite attractive.”

Yeah, she’d told him as much. Sexy, she’d said.

He thanked Maya and got off the phone. He was hopeful that this would work out. Very hopeful.

When Grant walked into the office the next morning, Mario said, “Were you just whistling?”

* * * *

Friday evening Kristy came home from work, flipped on the kitchen light, and watched it flicker and die. She’d lived in the apartment for a year and hadn’t needed to change it yet. But it was a lightbulb. She could do that.